…
Where am I? The old man thought as he stared into the darkness. In fact, the old man realized that he didn’t even know whether his eyes were open or not, or whether he even had eyes for that matter. But the surroundings, though formless and dark felt reassuring to him, even somewhat nostalgic, as if he was in his mother’s embrace. It was more instinctual than anything else, he had been abandoned as a child and grew up in an orphanage where the nuns were fiends who loved torturing young boys.
Who am I? The old man realized with a start. There seemed to be a layer of fog beneath his mind, as he couldn’t recall his own name, even though he knew that he was supposed to be dead.
With a sudden flash that lit up the darkness, he suddenly recalled all that he lived through in his previous life, and at that moment, more than anything else was a crushing sense of failure and defeat.
For it to end all because of my son…
The old man knew, at the moment he died on the podium that it was his son, his only son, that plotted for his death. There were so many signs prior, but he failed to realize what they meant, and in retrospect, he knew that he was a fool. He remembered how, in the days after he was elected by the final session of the Senate, his sons had spoken to his longtime political opponents. He remembered how his son had been avoiding meeting him though he was unsure whether his son was avoiding him or were they just too used to not meeting each other. He also recalled the final words his son had spoken to him. Which he ignored, much like how he had always ignored his son’s existence.
If only...if only if I treated my son better and played my role as his father…
The old man, though berating himself for a fool, was not stupid. He felt immense regret at not being a good father, and for not having been there when his son was growing up. His son was his only family after his wife’s death at childbirth, but he blamed his son for being the cause of her death. Though he did not truly love her, as it was a political marriage, she was still the only person he had trusted as they had a common goal. Perhaps he truly loved her, though, for when she died, he felt as if a part of him died too. After all, after her, he had not felt such closeness for any human being.
His son grew up without a mother, and without a father too, as at that time, he was still the Admiral General of Earth and was a leader during the First Humanity War. No doubt his son got the best treatment possible, but like himself did not grow up being loved. Immense regret continued to wash over him, and he wished that he could make amends.
Ah...if I could live again...if given another chance, I would cherish and love my family. My ambition? A failure like me who couldn’t even raise his child properly is definitely unfit as a ruler. But what use is there in such futile hope? I have died. There is no turning back.
This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Again, his regret threatened to overwhelm him. He, who had killed in the war and murdered in peace felt like crying because of his mistakes.
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A long time passed within the darkness. But the old man did not know as he was still wallowing in self-pity and abandonment. Then, out of nowhere, something pulled at him. There was something holding onto his leg, which he didn’t know that he had until this moment. With a strong pull, he was out of the darkness and blinded by the light he hadn’t seen for so long. He was still squinting when he heard a joyful masculine voice.
“Honey, he’s such a beautiful boy! Look at him, he’s so cute!” A man in tattered clothes with a regal air that didn’t fit his clothes exclaimed. His face was flushed, and his eyes were almost sparkling. But beneath that, his face was gaunt, and his cheekbones were obvious as his skin was stretched.
“Hahaha...haaah,” the lady on the mattress, which was yellow and tattered sighed with a hint of pride. “His name will be Rydan, after my grandfather. I’m sure little Rydan here will one day grow up to become as impressive as my grandfather.”
“Rydan Skyborn! That’s a good name, heheh, maybe he’ll grow up to be as strong as his father,” he chuckled. “Ah, he opened his eyes, honey! Oh, he looks as though he understands us!”
But Rydan did understand them. Though he could not understand the alien tongue, he knew his new name was “Rydan” from how his parents repeated the name. At the same time, he was astonished at this phenomenon of reincarnation. It felt to him like the gods, wherever and whoever they were, heard his wish in his mother’s womb.
In this life, Rydan thought to himself, I will redeem myself, I will not lose myself for such a goal again. I will love my parents and be a good child, for they are now my family.
Ryden looked around and saw the midwife standing nearby, helping his mother to clean up after childbirth. The room itself, while spacious, was bare but clean. He knew who he was, and what he was, but during his time in the womb, he already made up his mind to put his past behind himself. Still, he could not help but be solemn whenever he thought of it.
“Eh? What a weird child, he doesn’t cry.”
“Maybe he’s tired dear. Come, let me hold him, he needs to sleep.”
Hugging the newly born Rydan gently, the lady patted Rydan, humming a melody as they both fell asleep. But before Ryden closed his eyes, he glanced at his father, who somehow in addition to his regal air also gave off a sense of security. Satisfied, Rydan closed his eyes. The man squatted beside his wife, with love in his eyes looking over them as they slept.
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Author's Comments:
If you like/dislike it, please tell me! It's my motivation. Do tell me if there were any mistakes in language/grammar. Also, the third person narrative seems kind of boring to me at the moment, should I change to the first person, and alternate between the two instead? Thanks for reading.