A putrid smell coated my nostrils and my mouth tasted like death. I groaned as I slowly stood up. My body felt like it was on fire and my left arm ached. I stretched and looked at my surroundings. 

I was at the edge of an unfamiliar river, in a foreign land. The water lapped gently beside me and the soothing sound was accompanied by the familiar scent of wet earth and moss. The coolness between my toes was refreshing so I stood there and tried to get my bearings.

Last I remembered I had sailed away from home to find my older brother Theo. I had been sailing for days searching for something and… and I found… What? As I tried to remember my vision blurred and spots swam across my eyes. It lasted only for a moment, but I struggled to keep my balance. I was forgetting something, but I had to move on. 

My skin prickled as I gazed upon a sunless sky. The soft light that permeated my surroundings had no discernible source. Its immutable presence plunged the land in perpetual twilight. I had so many questions, but there was no one around to ask. My mind was spinning as I looked to the river.

The water was shimmering azure. It reminded me of the sea around the island I call home. Serene and magnificent. I scooped water in my hands and splashed my face. My mouth was dry so I leaned down and drank deeply. I wanted to savor the taste of fresh water, but all I tasted was ash. Coughing, my thoughts drifted and my eyes watered. 

My best chance to find someone, to find Theo, was downriver. I stayed beside the bank, the river to my left, and remained vigilant. My head was laden and tears streamed down my face. Several times during my walk I broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. If anyone, or anything, heard my wails they did not make their presence known. 

After some time I reached a stony outcrop. The river’s end was in sight as it flowed into a larger body of water. This new undulating mass, and the endless horizon beyond it, left me transfixed. A small smile cracked my somber facade. I took some time to clean myself up as well as I could and with renewed determination I walked on. 

The new waterway was pitch black and it flowed to my right as I approached it. Looking downriver I noticed a narrow wharf a short distance away. Before long I was facing down the planks of the port that stretched into the river. They looked rotten, so I stepped on them with bated breath. They bent under my weight, the wood creaking, but they held. I sighed in relief and walked forward to the end of the pier, each step loudly announcing my presence.

Whatever land lay beyond this river was impossible to discern. I mused that perhaps I had reached the edge of the world. The joke quickly turned sour in my mind, so I searched for a vessel. There were none visible so I considered praying for a way across. 

“Do you seek passage?” a dry raspy voice suddenly spoke behind me. Startled I spun around and heard the plank below me crack and splinter. As I tried to stabilize myself I tripped and almost fell straight into the river. I caught myself at the last minute. 

“What!? Where did you…!? Wait, did you say passage?” I blurted out relieved. His offer was a godsend. I looked up at him to offer my gratitude. 

An old man, with short white hair and a full gray beard, stood only a couple paces away, unmoving. He towered over me and wore a long dark cloak that covered his entire body. In his right hand was a large oar that he held as a scepter. His hands were skeletal in appearance, the skin stretched paper thin. As I looked closely, I noticed that his eyes were milky white and his lips were a pale blue.

“Do you seek passage?” the old man repeated, his expression unchanged and unblinking. His lips didn’t move. I tried to keep my composure, but I felt the blood drain from my face.

“Yes. Yes I do. I want to go across. Do you do that?” I asked meekly. The old man, or whatever creature he was, felt imposing, but I was hopeful for the first time since I awoke by the river. He stared in my direction and then extended his left hand forward, palm up. 

“The fare,” he said in a no nonsense tone.

“I... Fare… Okay, hold on,” I said confused at the vague request. I looked on my person for anything that could be used as currency. In my goatskin pouch I found a single bronze coin. I had no recollection of acquiring it, but I placed it on his hand. 

Without another word he moved forward. His footfalls made no noise on the rotting timber. When he reached the edge he placed his oar partway into the water and stopped. 

“Are you waiting for someone? Where is your boat?” I asked hesitantly. My hair stood on end as I waited. The old man made no reaction and fear of retribution kept me from speaking up again. Soon after, a boat rose from the depths of the river in front of him. My eyes bulged at the occurrence and I unwittingly let out a whimper. 

“By the Gods,” was all I could say under my breath.  

The vessel was a haunting thing. Black rough hewn wood, textured with sharp angles, and shapes of what looked like faces in agony covered the hull. I took a step back. The figurehead on the bow was an ornate flower flanked by a ring of keys. No sail. Just the man and his oar. 

I debated internally whether to go through with it or not. Without warning I found myself no longer standing on the docks, but instead sitting across from the old man on the boat. My body started shaking and I closed my eyes. After several deep breaths I decided the wise thing was to not question what had just happened. 

When I reopened my eyes the boatman was facing me. His hood was up, casting a shadow over his face. With a quick motion he pushed on the large oar. The unexpected acceleration almost threw me backwards. When we reached a steady pace I managed to calm down. The oar moved, but I could not see his hands or the source of the movement itself. 

Instead of our destination the oarsman was focused on me. I avoided his stare and looked around me. I realized that the water was actually not black, but a mix of gray and purple. I peered at its depths, leaning down as low as I dared. 

I reached out with my left arm and attempted to scoop up some water. It was surprisingly warm to the touch. Curious, I moved my submerged hand around, but it rapidly started going numb. When I attempted to pull my arm out I was grabbed by something beneath the water. I struggled, grasping the side of the boat with my right hand. 

“Ahhhh! What is this? Help me!” I shouted at the boatman. He continued moving his oar as if I wasn’t struggling right in front of him. I applied whatever strength I had left, straining against the boat itself. The momentum threw me back when whatever held me gave way. I saw long pale shapes descend to the depths. 

The area of my arm that had been submerged was numb and was quickly turning a sickly black. It grew darker by the moment, the skin swelling out. The numbness soon gave way to a feeling of countless nails being plunged into my hand. Barely cognizant of my surroundings I screamed and hunched over. 

I found myself waking up some time later in a pool of my own sick. The pain in my arm had mostly receded, but my throat was sore and my mouth tasted foul.

After a deep breath, I lifted my left hand up to take a look at it. The skin on the affected area had sloughed off and what remained was a dried, scabbed over mess. I dry heaved at the sight and looked away. Despite its appearance it was still functional so I clenched my fist. The scabs cracked and small rivulets of blood flowed out. I winced and stopped at once.

Unaffected by my ordeal the boatman was silent. I looked up and briefly considered saying something to him, but after I saw his dark figure looming tall I decided against it. Instead I focused on my arm for some time. Under my breath, I whispered a small prayer.

Focused as I was on my injury I failed to realize that we were slowing down. The illumination that pervaded the land, the one I had grown accustomed to by that point, had noticeably decreased in intensity. The shore was barely visible despite its relative proximity. 

Similarly, the figure of the oarsman seemed closer to a shade. His presence was wispy and ethereal. Without thinking I stretched out my hand toward him, but I caught myself at the last second and pulled back. I did not want to know what he was. Instead I turned my attention to the approaching shore. There were no docks I could discern in either direction so I wondered if he would run the boat ashore to let me disembark. 

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With what occurred during the boat ride I forgot how I had found myself seated on it as if by magic. As the memory resurfaced I found myself standing elsewhere. My eyes darted in all directions as I tried to comprehend what had just happened. The tension slowly eased out of my shoulders and I turned to the water. 

Both the boat and its oarsman had vanished into the darkness as mysteriously as they had appeared. As I looked down I noticed that the black soil was different than anything I had encountered before. Soft, but grainy, like a mixture of clay and sand. Out of habit I put my hands up to rub my face. When I felt my scabbed over hand touch skin I recoiled and jumped backwards. I landed on my backside with a loud grunt. 

Confused and uneasy I stood and left the shore. As I pondered on what had transpired I broke out in a cold sweat. I started running toward a large tree in the distance. The exercise was welcome after being on the ferry, so I held my pace. Every so often I would glance at my left hand and cringe. A dull ache persisted at the seam with the remaining healthy skin. I blocked those thoughts and focused on running.

By the time I reached my destination I was out of breath. Using the trunk of the tree for support I sat and rested. I thought of Theo, hoping I would reach him soon. A gust of wind broke me out of my reverie. The cool air was welcome so I sat and enjoyed my rest. 

The echoing sound of splintering wood alerted me. I stood up quickly and scanned my surroundings. Some distance away a large dark shape was moving in my direction. Before I could react a horrid smell invaded my nostrils. It was so fetid that I covered my nose. My eyes began to water and every breath made me gag. 

I turned around and sprinted away from the smell and its source. I ran with all my strength, trying not to inhale for as long as I could. Every breath made me lose focus and stumble. My ears pulsed with the rhythm of my elevated heartbeat and the fumes made my eyes sting and tear up. 

The ground soon sloped downward toward a cliff edge and I was forced to come to a stop. The drop below was to a narrow, but tumultuous river. As I was debating whether I should jump the smell got worse. My balance faltered and I looked back.

Three shadows stretched below a dark gnarled creature that stood a short distance above me. A deep guttural growl made the ground shake. My eyes bulged and my feet gave out. I fell, narrowly avoiding a large rock, and plunged into the churning waters. 

The force of the river swept me away. Its violent nature tossed me about and I hit the cliff walls on several sharp turns. The turbulent water encumbered my vision and I felt small whirlpools pulling at me from multiple directions. Waves crashed on me as I tried to stay afloat and water forced its way down my throat.

My strength was fading rapidly, so I clenched my teeth and redoubled my efforts. Suddenly, the current dragged me underwater. My consciousness dimmed.

I woke up with a coughing fit. I was on solid ground again, drenched from head to toe. Feeling lucky to still be alive I thought of how it was just like Theo to have me risk my life trying to save him. I had hoped that after the last time he would have known better...

“What’s so interesting?” Theo asked while thrusting some bread and salted fish in my direction. My eyes were focused on the sea’s horizon.

“Thanks. It gives me a freeing feeling,” I responded as best as I could. 

My stomach growled as the smell of the fish reached my nostrils. I looked at my brother and we both started laughing. After I finished eating Theo turned to me.

“Let’s go little brother. Time for cliff jumping,” he said. I stood and followed him up the path.

As we reached the top a gust of wind blew dust all around us. I stopped walking and covered my eyes.

“Theo, you sure about this?” I asked him, yelling over the sound of the wind. I made a gesture for us to go back home.

“Oh come now little brother! Just a little wind! You’re not scared now are you?” he yelled back smugly as he continued to approach the edge of the cliff. 

I hated when he did that. Always pushing and trying to coerce me into these dangerous situations. I scowled at him and walked forward cautiously. 

“We can’t jump Theo. Not today. The wind will push us toward the rocks. We’ve been over this. How many times do I have to tell you? Let’s go home. Now!” I growled at him. 

He smirked at me and jumped from one foot to the other right by the edge. 

“Theo…” I began, but he interrupted me. 

“Stop being such a buzzkill little brother. If you’re not going to jump then just go,” he said in a serious tone. I continued walking towards him and he spoke up again when I reached him. 

“That’s right. Nothing to fear. Even for you little brother.” Theo chuckled and smacked my back. It threw me off balance and I grabbed his shoulder for support.

“Seriously?” I said, but he just laughed it off and mocked me. I had had it. Time and time again I had tried to be the word of reason, but he refused to listen. 

“Fine. You want to jump? Here let me help.” I placed my hands on his back and pushed with all my strength. 

Theo’s smile vanished as he fell...

The sand below me was a vibrant red and I dug my fingers into it as I pushed myself up. The continuous roaring noise made me turn around. 

A floating sheet of water crashed violently on the ground nearby. The river had flowed into a waterfall. The white foam blended with the ground and a scarlet spray sprung forth. It reminded me of how Theo had ended up. I was riddled with cuts and bruises, but I had to keep going. 

My journey thus far had been quite different than what I had originally thought. My memory was returning and the horrible realization of what I had done started sinking in. I finally knew what I needed to do about Theo, but first I needed to address my most recent misdeed. I dropped to my knees and prayed as loudly as I dared.

“Oh great rulers of the underworld, Persephone and Pluto, overseers of the dead, and jailers of Titans, I plead for your guidance. I wish to take my brother’s place in your realm and face the punishment I am due for my fratricide.”

The silence that followed was as sharp as a dagger. The air was still and I dared not make any noise. Beads of sweat formed all over my body and I waited with scarce hope for a response. What followed was beyond my comprehension. I was thrust, body and soul, through a tunnel of light and into unfathomable darkness. I heard a voice and the flutter of wings. 

“Again!” it said to me, but I did not understand. 

As my eyes adjusted I noticed a soft orange light ahead of me. Tentatively, I took one step forward and then another. The temperature rose and my breath became labored. When I reached the edge of the cliff I looked down toward the glow. My mouth hung agape at the sight. 

A deep crimson flame snaked its way through the land; the earth scorched and smoking around it. The raging torrent of fire flowed all the way into a deep maw on the ground. A pit of immeasurable depth. 

I steeled myself and walked down to the raging inferno. My eyes dried up and my sweat started evaporating, but I endured the heat and peered within. The shape of a man formed in the flames. Gasping, I stepped back and watched the figure walk out of the fire unscathed. It had the form of my brother.

“You’re… here. At last, I found you! Oh how I have longed to see you. No words can express my sorrow for what I did. I have come to release you from your suffering. I will take your place and you can go free. Please brother,” I pleaded with arms outstretched. 

The man who looked like Theo stood expressionless before me. 

“Who are you?” he said with a quizzical expression. At first I thought he was joking, but after repeated attempts his answer remained the same. 

He knew not himself nor me. The realization left me powerless. There would be no salvation for either of us after all. I fell to my knees and begged for someone, anyone, to intervene. I begged for mercy. Neither Gods nor men nor beasts answered my call.

Slowly, I stood and wrapped my arms around the man that used to be my brother.

“I am so sorry.” 

Walking forward I let the blazing river envelop me. The flames danced around me in shifting colors of yellow and red. One after another the blades of fire cut me down, but by some cruel fate I did not perish. Instead, I felt the pain of every lash and every burn. Despondent, I reached the far side mostly intact, a trail of boiling blood in my wake. 

The land beyond was filled with white and yellow flowers. I wandered off into the floral fields with my eyes downcast and my body sagging. My sense of smell had burned away, but the flowers were a soothing sight. They felt like a whispered lullaby from a time long forgotten. Tears mixed with blood steadily dripped on the flowers in my path, staining them red. 

My trip to Hades had been misguided. I was no hero of legend. All I had accomplished was hubris and the Gods were enacting their punishment. An eternity roaming aimlessly in the land of the dead. I kneeled down and considered the bleak nature of my future. 

After what felt like days I decided to stand and walk on. My wounds reopened, but the pain felt distant and muted. Before long, a subtle noise caught my attention. The soft sound of flowing water attracted me, so I approached it. 

Sparkling emerald and shining sapphire, this river was a brilliant gem. I waded into its shallow waters and dove down. The current gently pushed me along and I let it. My skin started turning from a charred black to a healthy pink and my cuts sealed up. However, the pain remained. 

What I had done was unforgivable. I had done… what? I… I needed to find my brother! Yes, that was the important part. Where was he? Why… why was I underwater!? I looked around me and was stunned by the beautiful colors.

An object fell into the river. The bronze coin slowly sank toward me. Rays of light made it sparkle. I held it in front of me. It was pretty, so I put it in my goatskin pouch. Theo would love it. I was going to show him when I got to him. I closed my eyes and drifted off. 

A putrid smell coated my nostrils and my mouth tasted like death. I groaned as I slowly stood up. My body felt like it was on fire and my left arm ached. I stretched and looked at my surroundings.