The clack of steel on wood traveled across the deck as the Captain stepped under the open sky. Voices quieted to whispers. Those who hadn’t heard the announcement, or who hadn’t cared, were quickly hushed by the men standing next to them with elbows or hissed words, mostly both. In a matter of seconds the deck was silent.
Andrews first glimpse of the man had been brief, his figure framed inbetween two shifting sailors as he walked through the crowd. He had dark hair, pushed back over his head in a clean but long style. Scuff lined his face and lines developed over hours of worrying creased beneath his eyes, contributing to their shadowing. His uniform of royal blue was crisp, the golden filigree lining the cuffs and buttons contrasting well against the white of the billowing shirt sticking out just above the beginning of his hands.
The sea of men parted before him, his careful and purposeful strides clearing a path for himself and his retainers. There was a coldness to his features, either mien or demeanor sending a chill to Andrew’s heart, the feeling of wrongness wafted about him, a stench heavy enough that the light breeze of the sea couldn’t disperse it.
His cold visage morphed into a frown as he stepped from the crowd and set his eyes upon him. Andrew could feel his gaze burrowing into him, searching for something he did not find. Resignation quickly followed.
“You, Andrew Bernard Thaddeus Landfield, are charged with attempted desertion and murder, what say you”. The boredom in his voice was palpable, as if he had just announced what the destination of their journey and not an accusation of murder.
Tears tingled in Andrew's eyes. A murder, he didn't even know what to think. A murder happened on deck last night. When? how? It must have been the blood on me, they thought it was someone else’s. But was that even real, do I even remember last night? I was out for almost all of it. I would never have murdered anyone, would I? I mean, I just got on this ship. I need to know more information before I can…
“Nothing to say murderer” came a jeer from the crowd. As if juvenated into action more cried out “Ya, probably thinking of how you could have gotten away with it, to bad Archie fought back isn’t it, ya rat bastard” “Couldn’t even fight an unarmed man” “Murderer!” “Coward!”
The man in the front row edged closer. Anger was etched onto his face “Murderer! You sick fuck, I hope you rot”
Andrew turned his head. It was hard to look at people with such hate in their eyes. But some sick home forced his eyes to rove the crowd. No one was lacking such looks. They all hated him. They all wanted him dead. It was only the cold mien of Captain Addison that held the men back. The harsh naval discipline they now witnessed they themselves in turn feared. They now cheered just as much for their perceived justice as they did for the show of seeing a man suffer under the law they lived under in such fear.
His eyes set on the captain, who was just watching, a slight frown on his face. Suddenly it deepened and the captains voice cut above the rest, the question apparent in his raised eyebrow. “Do you have anything to say”?.
The crowd quieted down, impatiently awaiting an answer.
Andrew focused and took a deep breath, clearing his thoughts “I.. I did not kill whoever died, but I need to know more information if I am going to defend myself."
The resigned look again. “How about you just tell us what you did last night then ensign.”
“Okay, starting when?”
“Start after the twelfth hour.”
A cool breeze rustled Andrews shirt, carrying away with it the sweat that had been running down his brow. The mast creaked as the ships sail opened wider with a great “phfwompf”.
A slight jolt ran through the ship as they accelerated.
“At noon I was manning the sails as I had been taught. Those working with me can attest. Both Ander and Callum were on deck at the time!”
A murmur ran through the crowd. An old voice yelled from the crowd. “Aye, a clocked him at th' time. He wis oan deck.” The men turned to face him, a bubble in the crowd forming. Callum, with his wrinkled face, worn from days of service, continued to speak. “He wis daein' his jab, ill as he micht be at it. Bit jimmy’n th' sails he wis.”
The Captain spoke once again, turning to his gaze to Callum. “And you were the Boatswain at the time?”
“Aye sur”
“And at any time did he leave his post”
“Na sur, he left his post at th' proper time, aroond four, ony ither time 'n' he wid hae bin punished.”
The Captain turned his eyes back to Andrew.
“And what did you do after your duty ended.”
“Well sir, I am an avid reader. My father owns a bookstore, and I grew up reading. So as soon as I was finished with work I went to my bunk and pulled out the book my father gave me as I left: a copy of King James Bible.”
“Oh, a man of faith?”
“..Yes, but also to become a man of learning I had hoped.”
His mouth morphed into a crooked grin and he chuckled.
“Ah, a man of faith and learning. So tell me of man of faith, can anyone second your claim?”
“I don’t know anyone specifically Captain Addison. I was engaged with my reading at the time, but I know for certain that multiple people came in and out of the bunk room.”
Captain Addison turned around, his eyes peering into the crowd. “Did anyone see him elsewhere at this time?”
Silence reigned as men turned to their neighbors, searching for someone in the crowd to speak up.
“And did anyone sight him during this time in the bunks?”
He waited. The shuffling of clothe and feet pounding in his ear as the midday wind itself seemed to still in waiting. The silence inched down his throat hot tar until he felt it would break him.
“Aye sir. I saw him down at his bunk. Practically curled over himself as he buried his face in his book” spoke a burly man from the crowd.
Relief flooded him even as he felt his face redden in embarrassment.
“And at what time was this exactly?”
“I don’t know the time exactly but it was just an hour or two before sunset sir. My mates saw him to.”
The men beside him muttered their affirmation, nodding their heads, voices barely carrying to Andrew.
Captain Addison turned back to Andrew, “And what time did you leave your bunk.”
“Just as mess was called sir. I heard the ringing of the bell and couldn’t find it in myself to eat. Instead I walked up onto the deck sir.”
“Why didn’t you go to mess?”
“I had a difficult day sir. The enormity of my position hit me in full. My family is back in England and here I am on a ship to Europe. Why?” He sighed “Lots of things on my mind sir, not just missing home. The noise of mess wouldn't have helped me. ”
“So you forewent a meal because you needed to think?”
“Yessir.”
The Captain grinned. “ No sailor would miss a meal unless they absolutely had to. You do realize how suspicious you not being there is, don’t you?”
He hadn’t.
“Well sir. It was absolutely necessary to me.”
The Captain looked at him, brows furrowing. “Then why did you come on deck?”
“The sunset sir.”
“What about it?”
“It helps me think sir. That and the fresh air. I thought it would be good for me. Clear the head and humors.”
“Hrmmph. Who all was on deck at the time?”
“I don’t really recall sir. To be honest I was more focused on my own thoughts than my surroundings.
The Captain looked at him perplexed “Do you ever pay attention to your surroundings?”
Andrew cringed, looking away “My mother always said that was a bad habit of mine, sir, I apologize.”
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
He just shook his head “Alright” He turned to the man next to him “Who all was on duty a the beginning of mess last night?”
A few hands raised from the crowd.
“Step forward, if you saw him on deck at after the mess bell had been wrung.”
Three men stepped forward.
“So you all remember him specifically.”
The man on the left, who stood at rigid attention, spoke up, his blond hair bobbing up and down with his head. His voice was high and light, mellifluous, almost like a woman's. “I saw him on deck sir. He came up just before sunset, and walked towards the railing. I stopped paying attention to him after that sir, just assumed he was there to watch”. His large eyes were shimmered as he spoke, looking like little windows into the sky amidst his face.
“Did you notice anything on him or off about him?”
“No sir, nothing that caught my eye.”
The Captain brought his hand to his face, stroking a nonexistent beard.
“He didn’t have blood on him? Or look suspicious?”
“No sir, the only thing I noticed about him was the far off look he had about him. Like I could have jumped and shouted and he wouldn’t have noticed me.”
A snicker ran through the crowd as a comment met the open air. “Anyone would notice you if you cried out damsel.”
The man reddened, quickly standing straighter as if coming to attention for the second time. He stared at the captain, refusing to turn his head towards where the remark had been spoken, and started to open his mouth before quickly shutting it. His eyes hardened, the once skylike lightness turning into steely diamond.
“Quiet, shut your mouths! This is a trial that determines a man’s future. Treat it with the dignity I know you lack or I will have your back in bloody strips within the hour” the Captain barked. The gleam in his eye and the sudden rictus frown on his face gave the threat a weight only backed by his presence. “If another man makes a comment like that you will suffer alongside the man who sits before you. You have been warned.”
The crowd quieted. The Captain’s eyes returned to him. “Did you watch the entire sunset?”
“I…well yes” I can’t tell the truth can I. They won’t believe me. Andrew’s voice wobbled “I was there the entire time”
Addison’s eyes narrowed, but the nodding of the three men who had stepped forward seemed to still his opening mouth. He leaned back, crossing his arms and eying Andrew with an appraising look.
“And what happened after it set?”
“Uh…well, I don’t remember. I was looking at the sunset when suddenly I was overwhelmed with pain and knocked out.”
“Knocked out?”
“Yes sir. The next thing I remember was stirring to wake when some sailors found me on the deck. I…”
Captain Addison cut him off. “You remember nothing until your discovery”
“No sir. The last thing I remember was watching the sunset.”
Noises of outrage sounded from the crowd. The mass shifting like a wave. The captain leaned forward.
“Nothing?”
Andrew didn't know what else to say, he was never good at lying under pressure. He needed time to think without the encroaching crowd around him.
The silent stare from the captain seemed to last an eternity.
“Do you know what knocked you out?”
“The last thing I felt sir was a burning heat and pressure on my chest. The sky changed colors and I fell to the deck. After that nothing. I didn't notice anyone behind me and I didn't feel like I was hit. More like a boulder had been dropped on me. I wasn't crushed but I couldn't hold it either, just slowly ground down until I was flattened to the deck”
His lips grew thinner as his frown stretched.
“Is it possible you were attacked?”
“I..It could be.”
“And when did you get on this ship?”
“Only a few days ago sir, just before the ship left port.”
“Why?”
Because I didn’t resist. “I was pressed sir, decided a life of adventure was better than getting beaten”
Addison sighed, “Idiot.”
“What sir?”
“You'll regret that. Did you know anyone on the ship before you arrived?”
“No sir. I knew no one. To be honest I have hardly gotten to know anyone either, I haven’t exactly been sociable.”
“Did anyone know you?” He asked as peered around into the crowd. After a moment of silence and shaking heads he took a step forward, and then another, each step bringing him closer to Andrew until he was but a foot away.
“Have you ever killed someone?”
Andrews heart fell out of his chest. “Of course not sir. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t, sir I have hardly the heart to kill a rat sir. Please you must believe me. I don’t like hurting people sir, it has never been my way. I prefer to solve my problems with diplomacy sir, I have never really gotten in a fight, much less have… I couldn’t kill a man. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t, I just…”
“So you are a coward.”
“I am no coward sir, I just don’t want any conflict.”
“Then this is the wrong adventure for you. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong profession. It will get you killed.”
Andrew's head hung, he knew he was right, this wasn’t the place for him. “I..I know sir, I just” Tears prickled his eyes” …I just couldn’t sit and be nothing all my life”
The captain crouched down slowly, settling onto his heels. “Alright, you didn’t kill him. No motive, no means, and you couldn't kill a man in cold blood, I can see that. You will be whipped, 39 lashes. As a man of faith you should know what that means.”
Andrew’s head jerked up “What. No I..I didn’t do anything”. The Captains cold eyes met his, “Unfortunately these men don’t believe that, and I don’t need two murders aboard.”
Andrew shut his mouth, a strangled “ughh” leaving his mouth as his brain struggled to organize in a comprehensible fashion what he just heard. I am going to die. I am going to die. I haven’t done a single thing and they are going to kill me. He shuddered. I am going to die and there is nothing I can do about it. His heart was ice in his chest even as sweat poured off of him. Fuck this, fuck these people and this fucking boat. I try to make one decision for myself and leave home and within a week it will all end.
“If you do as your told and suffer under the lash you will make it to shore. Be gld. Don’t speak anymore, sit silent and walk resolute to your fate, you are not sentenced to death.”
The Captain stood quickly, turning as he rose and murmured under his breath, just loud enough for Andrew to make out. “Just bloody close to it”.
39 lashes. 40 to kill a man they say. 40 for degradation. What a mercy. Only 39, only 39, I just need to sit and handle 39 lashes. I won’t die, come on, I won’t die. I can make it through, I can live, I will live.
Two men roughly grabbed his arms and pulled him up, his shirt tearing as it bore the brunt of his weight. “Tie him to the mast” the captain said from a few meters away.“39 lashes for thoughts of desertion and disgrace of his royal majesty’s navy”
What fucking disgrace, I was knocked out while on deck, and thoughts of desertion, that isnt a crime! This isn’t a bloody trial, this is a judge and execution, there is nothing fair about this. His body thudded against the sturdy wood. Focus. Focus on your breathing. In and out. This isn’t fair, you knew the navy wasn’t going to be fair. Just focus and accept it. A tiny portion of his mind, suppressed and weak, whispered out Fight. You don’t deserve this, fight and make it right. He couldn’t, he bloody couldn’t, he knew that, his family knew that, the world knew that. He was never a fighter. And only fighters got stories. I am weak, it will make no difference. I can’t do anything, what good will fighting do me now. His arms were drawn together and tied. His face ground against the smooth grain of the mast, the pain flaring in his cheek on of pressure and not splinters. Little mercies above, I am going to die.
Fight, It whispered again, the same voice, desperate and angry, old and weak.
I can’t. I will just make this worse. I just need to accept it.
The sound of a whip cracked against the deck, its noise breaking his thoughts. “We will begin now. I will count and whip, there will be no lenience or clemency. Let this be a lesson, do not disgrace the crown again.”
Tears started to well in Andrews eyes as his shirt was torn off. Oh God, please do not let this happen to me. I have done nothing wrong, I have not disrespected the crown, I haven’t deserted. Please Lord, please stop this. Please Lord, I will go back home, I will content myself with a life of peace, Please, I will be happy, I will praise you, just let me get back home, just let me go home. I just want to see my family again.
Fight the voice murmured. Rage.
The first blow struck like a blow from heaven, the lancing pain blinding him for a moment.
Andrew grit his teeth. Please give me the strength to get through this Lord, what do you want me to do?
The second blow struck, the whistle a deathly premonition of the coming pain. “Thwack”. The meaty sound of his flesh being parted drove the breath from his lungs as it did the thoughts from his head. It was all he could do to -
Please please please, stop this stop this stop this
The third blow drove deeper than the other two, cutting through muscle to bone. He could feel it catch before it tore back out.
Fight it. The voice said again. You can fight the pain.
The fourth blow forced a cry from his lips “Please stop, please stop, I..” The jeering of the men met him as he opened his eyes and his voice was drown in a world of sound.
The fifth blow was strong again, the crack carrying above the roar of the watching men and their hateful eyes.
The sixth left him helpless, adrift in a world of pain, the warmth of blood on his back and pain of deep, long cuts all that held him to the world.
Fight
The seventh struck, arching from his shoulder blade to his hip, biting deep into his soft flesh. Andrew saw white.
Stand and fight you fool, stand and fight the voice whispered stronger. His inner strength pleading him to struggle onward.
The eight left Andrew staring into the brilliant sky, his mind reeling within the chaos. From that chaos came a voice, deep and whole.
Fight. Your path does not end here.
The ninth lash drove Andrew deeper into the chaos, his mind unable to focus on anything but the pain.
Rage. This is not justice.
The tenth lash crippled his halfformed response, his shaking legs crumbling beneath him. He could hardly feel his knees hit the deck with a muffled “thwumf”.
Stand o child of mine, stand child of sun and star.
The whip cracked again. I.. I can’t. I can’t do this.
The twelfth blow sundered the air.
Stand and Live.
The thirteenth strike slashed across his back, sending his thoughts whirling again. Only one thought remained.
The fourteenth blow left Andrew feeling the tears on his face. His one thought remained. I will mean something.
Sun of Star, Behold the Infinite Beauty of you forefather, BURN.
The sky turned a bloody sunset as the fifthteenth blow struck. Crimson and gold clashing and blurring together in the sky above.
I refuse to die here, I refuse to die never having been more. This will not be the end. I will live.
The sixthteenth carved his back in twain but he could hardly feel it.
I will fight.
The seventeenth blow struck, cutting again at the thoughts he had built up, but this time the pain glanced against a fortress of will.
I will fight.
His voice echoed in his mind as the eighteenth strike fruitlessly bashed against his mind.
I will fight.
The nineteenth
I will not quit.
The twentieth
I will not cower.
The twenty-first
I will not surrender.
The twenty-second
I will live.
The twenty-third
I will be more.
The twenty-fourth
I will fight.
His mind started to fade, black encircling his vision as liquid fire rained from the sky.
Yes, We will fight.
As his mind collapsed into darkness, deep within him a voice roared, screaming defiance into the void. He did what he could to roar with it.