Chapter 9
IT’S TOUGH AT THE TOP
Fate stood on the golden sand; the warm waves gently lapped against her bare feet, and salty air filled her lungs. She looked down at her hand and noticed a tall glass of blue liquid containing ice, pineapple, and a cocktail umbrella that skewered two fat maraschino cherries. Considering that a moment ago, she had been relaxing quietly in her realm, this was a change of scenery. In front of her sat thirty-one gods and goddesses, each one unique in form and size, meaning that her fellow Pantheon members had summoned her. Fate knew precisely what this was about.
An officious little man walked toward them along the sand and came to a halt at a right angle between Fate and the row of her fellow Pantheon members. The man wore a formal, dark grey suit. His tie was done up in a fussy little knot and was a slightly lighter shade of grey than his outfit. His shoes were charcoal grey, his skin was light grey, and the air around him had become a greyscale shade of the colour it had been moments before.
“Lady Fate, you are hereby charged with the contravention of Agreement 12.b of the Non-intervention Pact,” the grey man said in an officious, condescending tone. “Your actions caused the failure of my client’s curse, and predictions indicate that you have now endangered her life. By divine right, my client demands you undo your actions and make reparations immediately.”
“I am Fate, you pompous little peasant. That is what I do. Who gave you the authority to even be here?” Fate was livid. The Pantheon had been choking with laws and red tape for over a thousand years. The more they tried to rid themselves of it, the more tangled in tape they became. None of the gods or goddesses could put their finger on when it started or how the lawyers got their teeth into their dominion. It had just happened.
“Tsk, tsk, madam. There is no need to take that tone with me. I am merely a conduit of the law.”
There was a thunderclap, and the scene abruptly changed. All the Pantheon members found themselves in a luxuriously appointed boardroom with old-school décor, including plush wood-panelled walls and a thick, deep blue carpet. The gods and goddesses were seated in comfortable upright chairs around an oval meeting table made from beautifully polished walnut. At the head of the sizeable table was a giant, glowing orb that scintillated with energy and every conceivable colour. There were even colours in there that no living creature could ever imagine. Power oozed from its being, bathing the room.
Fate winced. Things must be bad if the progenitor had summoned them.
“What the hells have you moronic dumbasses been doing?” the ball of energy shouted. It expanded and turned a threatening red colour. Its voice sounded extremely angry and desperate to thump something, if it had had appendages with which to do so. “I leave you alone for a few millennia, and you make a bollocks of everything.” The Pantheon didn’t know, but Devon’s father enjoyed swearing. It was something he didn’t get the opportunity to do often. He’d been practising by swearing at Devon until he’d finally dumped his son back in Earth realm.
Fate had been around for long enough to fear a visit from the boss. This summons was only the third that had ever occurred, but the first two had gone badly enough that they were memorable.
“Which one of you halfwits let the lawyers in?” the orb demanded.
Everyone stayed silent – each one glancing around at the others who all slowly shook whatever passed for their heads.
“Hmm, that’s what I thought. Little grey bastards just turned up, and not one of you was bright enough to question them.”
“Uhm, sir, some of us questioned their authority frequently, but they just kept coming, and we couldn’t stop them,” Missy said timidly.
Fate didn’t blame her timidity. She felt the same when facing their progenitor.
The ball of energy turned blue, and a circular shockwave of reality-altering magical energy rippled out and away from him. A line of twenty-five grey humanoids forming five neat lines appeared at the back of the office. They all looked shocked and confused, although it didn’t take them long to start ‘really must protest’-ing and begin quoting various regulations and sub-clauses. They all looked indignant and well within their rights.
“Silence, worms,” the orb boomed. His words shook the room and caused the lawyers’ images to shimmer and glitch a little. Instantly, silence filled the area.
“My lord, according to regulation 447.d: sub-clause 12, you are acting against protective orders securing the sanctity of the law. The fairy queen has set out the divine statute which we are within our rights to enforce,” one of the more expensively dressed lawyers stated. His voice was adamant and sure of his authority.
“Oh! So it was that fat butterfly that created this fuck-up for my people. That’s a primary misdemeanour point for her then.” The progenitor’s displeasure radiated outward then settled on the lawyer who’d spoken. The man began to glow a fiery red, eventually growing so hot that he felt obliged to loosen his tie. He didn’t utter a noise as he met his demise. His body erupted in a cloud of red sparks, and the lawyer instantly ceased to exist. There was a rustling of ties loosening as the other lawyers began to glow as well. Within seconds they had all met their leader’s fate.
“I want that bovinesque fairy bint dealt with. I want agonising torment followed by extinction. She’s light-years past the naughty step, that one. It was her that caused my son to end up loitering around me for centuries. I congratulate Fate for doing something about that, and I am putting her in charge of a taskforce to mentor my son and personally make sure he doesn’t end up in my domain ever again. We are paying top price for that fairy’s soul. Do I make myself crystal?”
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. I will not let you down,” Fate grovelled. She felt pleased with herself for a change. That, and she had just watched her boss atomise those accursed lawyers.
“Save it. Your taskforce is authorised to intervene within reason. If you must bind my son to a collective to protect him, then do so. I do not want him back. Oh, and give him his bloody realm back. He has done nothing but whine about losing that since he turned up on my doorstep.”
“Yes, sir.” Fate bowed.
“The rest of you had better get busy. I want all the realms cleaned up. They’re a mess. It’s as if you’ve all been sat on your metaphysical arses since I was last here. You’ve got your Reaper back; use him. Keep the little bugger busy. Pay him well and use his talents. Don’t play chess with him either; he’s a sodding embarrassment to the family.”
The ball of energy started to fade, and the thirty-two gods and goddesses began to breathe again, happy that they remained intact this time.
The globe solidified again, and everyone breathed in nervously. “That reminds me. I was in Earth realm a short while ago. The bloody place is lousy with demons.” He focused on an older man trying to sink under the table, out of sight. The orb pulsed red, and the elderly-looking god vanished in an explosion of photons. “I already told that idiot what would happen if he kept that pacifistic nonsense up. Fate, use your taskforce to sort that shambles out once that fairy bovine is out of the picture. Nature, help her out. My idiot son’s soft on your lot. Anyone else want to get on my good side?”
Two hands went up: one was a humanoid creature made entirely of shadows, and the other, a lithe, humanoid goddess with pure white hair and a costume to match.
“Shalim and Theia; yes, you’ll do. I will authorise expenses within reason. Bribe him, cheat; I don’t care. Just keep the little sod out of my way.”
The orb winked out of existence. The thirty-one gods and goddesses breathed a collective sigh of relief. They had all avoided the latest round of redundancies, and the boss’s son was back. They all liked him. He was entertaining and easy to manipulate, unlike his despot father.
****-****
Devon used some leaves to wipe the worst of the blood from his armour.
Their group had been wearily making their way through the upper reaches of the forest when a herd of wild boars had run them down. The animals had come hurtling through the bushes straight toward them before anyone could raise the alarm. Some of the villagers had suffered injuries from the stampeding creatures but nothing life-threatening. Devon and Gwen had despatched five of the animals swiftly, once they’d got over the surprise of the pigs being bold enough to attack nearly fifty people just because they were there. The other animals had fled once they realised that their prey was fighting back.
The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.
To the amazement of the villagers, Devon had stashed the corpses away in Jet’s saddlebags. Izzy had talked him through the process and explained that items were stored in a void, and so decomposition of any sort was impossible. Devon was impressed that the storage could double as an eternal meat fridge.
They’d abandoned the lorries about a mile ago. They had all worked hard to conceal the vehicles as best they could. They’d parked them well into the forest and entirely out of sight of the road.
It was evident to him that the villagers wouldn’t be able to walk much further. They were all tired from a long, eventful day and laden down with their worldly belongings. Izzy had reported back a few minutes ago, saying that she had found a nice place where they could stop. She also said she was sure that the nexus entrance was only a short distance away from it. The pendant was glowing enthusiastically, which Devon took as a good sign.
The clearing they found was perfect. Numerous springs fed a deep, fast-flowing stream nearby. The surrounding beech trees offered comprehensive cover from above, and on the forest’s floor, rhododendrons and holly bushes hid them from casual view in every direction. Nearby, a vast rock formed the local hills’ tallest peak; its proud, granite angles stood out prominently among the trees. The cliff face it created rose over one hundred feet at its highest point, then sloped away steeply down to the other side of the hill. The group had hauled themselves up and down some strange artificial striations probably created many hundreds of years ago. This whole area appeared to have once been some sort of primitive fortification. It was unsurprising, though, as the location was a defender’s dream.
“Welcome to your new home,” Devon said. He was spinning around with his arms outstretched. “It needs a little work but think big. Finn, I’m told you were a civil engineer. Why don’t you and I work on some ideas for a new settlement?” Devon had come up with the idea as they were trekking through the forest. For everyone’s safety, Madi’s husband needed a project that wasn’t learning to fight. Madi had been clear that she wouldn’t allow her husband anywhere near combat.
The shadows were lengthening, and they needed to make camp and get some rest. Everyone looked dead on their feet.
“Please stand out of the clearing. I need to make camp,” Devon said to everyone with a raised voice.
Devon shook his head. The wisp had some loose screws, but that was a big part of her charm. Following Izzy’s instructions, Devon thought, ‘position camp’. Immediately a wireframe made of light appeared all around them, highlighting where the camp would be. He found that he was able to move the wireframe around to choose the perfect location. He needed to ask Gwen to move as the overlay highlighted her in red. Once she’d left the circular grid, the overlay went green, allowing him to set the camp.
Devon revelled in the many ‘oos’ and ‘ahs’ he overheard as a large, circular campsite appeared. It was resplendent, with a large campfire in its centre and fifty identical camp beds and camp chairs neatly positioned around it. Each bed had a sleeping bag, pillow, and blanket. “Make yourselves at home,” he said with a grin.
‘Light fire,’ he thought while concentrating on the charm, and sure enough, the campfire burst into warm, welcoming flames. Devon noticed that the fire even had a spit assembly above it. That brought the boars to mind.
Thinking about what Izzy had said, Devon retrieved the rope he felt he’d need and set about hanging and preparing the boars’ corpses. His daggers made handy tools for the job, but it took him a while to do it well. Gwen helped him, but they had chosen not to ask the villagers for assistance because he knew they were all tired. The pair of them were like an old couple, wincing and complaining about their various wounds as they got on with the task at hand. One piece of good news was that his constitution was improving because it was getting easier to carry on for longer before needing rest. When finished, they trudged down to the nearby stream and washed up. The work had taken them a little over two hours.
When they got back to where Jet stood, Devon started to wonder about what he’d just done.
Izzy’s thoughts seemed to convey a little sadness.
Devon walked back to where the five boar carcasses were hanging. Jet was standing beside the corpses, looking hungry.
Jet gave him a full smile for the first time. It was not the smile of a horse but a hybrid of a shark and a leopard. She certainly had a lot of teeth. Thick triangular teeth at the back, then thinner, razor-sharp teeth towards the front. Surely not the smile of a herbivore. It was a smile that you would dread to meet in a dark alley.
Jet moved toward a boar, bit cleanly through the rope that suspended it from the tree, then dragged it off toward the campfire.
Devon laughed.
He pulled a dagger out from its sheath and cut several large chunks of meat. He decided to let the villagers cook their food as he considered that he’d done enough for them today. He walked back to the fire and threaded the meat onto the spit bar. Once he’d placed the spit back on its rack, it began to turn itself slowly. Devon grinned a happy grin. Magic was just the best.
Gwen grinned back at him enthusiastically.
Devon had to laugh out loud, startling a few villagers around him.
Gwen shrugged, went over to a quieter corner, and began sorting out their sleeping arrangements.
He walked over to where Madison and Finn were sitting in camp chairs, whispering. They both looked around and smiled as he approached.
“Can you organise the cooking of enough meat for everyone for tonight and tomorrow morning?” he asked. “Gwen and I have some serious work to do in the morning. Then I might have something important to show you all. I suggest we plan to make a settlement here, but that choice must be yours. My journey ends here for now. The meat is hanging nearby. Don’t panic when you see Jet eating one of the boars. She’s not an average horse.”
The looks on the couple’s faces were a picture of confusion, wonder, appreciation, and thoughtfulness. All emotions passed across their visages, some more than once. In the end, they both managed a dumbfounded nod.
Madi stood and addressed the hubbub of the excited yet still slightly fearful villagers. All had marked their territory amongst the camp beds and chairs – refugees to a one. By now, the smell of cooking boar meat was making them very hungry. “Devon has prepared the boars he killed earlier and requests that we take as much as we need for two meals. Finn, would you be a love and do the carving?”
Madi raised her hand for continued silence as the chattering rose again. “I ask every one of you to consider our future; tomorrow we will take a vote. Devon will be staying here but welcomes us to stay, and with his help and protection, we can build our new homes here. Or we can continue on and see if we can find somewhere else. The vote will be: stay or travel on without Devon. I urge you to think about it carefully. Finn and I think this spot is a beautiful, perfectly located area where we could make a lovely home. It will need a lot of work, but we believe it will be worth it.”
One of the village women, with two children clinging to her trouser legs, stood. “What does Devon want to do? I vote we stay with him. When he is with us, I feel safe and secure. We’re not scared of hard work. What we fear is being taken for slaves or body parts.”
There was a loud mumbling of agreement, and another lady, younger than the first, stood up. She was blushing and looked at Devon, moon-eyed from under her fringe. “What would you have us do, Devon?”
Devon was surprised to be dragged into the proceedings so quickly. “Your lives are your own. I will say that I am staying here, and I would welcome you all to stay as well. If you remain here, I promise that you’ll see things you never thought possible. The decision needs to be unanimous as I would hate to see your community split further, based on my words. If you all have open minds, then I suggest you stay. Finn and I will work out some ideas for housing over the next few days. With your efforts, we could forge a small paradise among the trees. Maybe even in the trees. I have some exciting ideas about that. Have you ever fancied living in a treehouse?”
There was another round of murmuring and some laughter. Devon spotted a lot of nodding and positive gestures and began to suspect they’d stay.