Ever onward did I walk, it was my duty after all; the task you gave to me. The highest peak I visited and I cast my gaze out and learned all that the world below me had to offer. The lowest depths of the oceans I’ve been to, and yet I remained unfazed, the crushing pressures of their depths paling in comparison with the weight of my burden. I walked amongst the people, your people, and despite your assurances, Mother, I found them to be lacking. Mindless drones they were, content to live in their ignorance.
Ignorance is bliss, it is said. Tell me Mother, is that why I found no happiness? The curse of your knowledge burdens me so.
And so I left. I continued my journey, but where was I to go? A wandering vagabond I found myself, aimlessly searching for something that I truly believed I could never find.
I only ever wanted someone who I could bond to and share my burden and my soul with as you once did. I walked for longer than I could remember, and then still I walked further until I found myself at the edge of Reality.
I took my first step beyond.
…
I was met by Darkness.
Overpowering Darkness.
The absence of everything. Strangely, I found it both terrifying and comforting. It called out to me, sheltered me with its presence, and in the back of my mind I heard it whisper sweet promises to me. Promises of belonging, promises of respite, everything I had been searching for I believed I could find here.
Minutes, days, centuries. They passed me by and as I gave small parts of myself, I found myself more accepted here than anywhere else I had ever been. There was nothing here for me to learn, nothing to add to the weight of my burden and in the absence of everything I finally found quiet and bliss.
…
You were always on my mind, Mother. Everything I did was to make you proud. I strove my hardest to live up to the expectations you set for me.
And so everything I knew, everything I was, everything I hoped to be I poured out to the Void. I offered my all to someone who promised to help me on my journey, the one I believed would walk beside me as the One walked beside you. All I had to give, I offered into the Darkness.
I was deceived.
The ocean of my knowledge was nothing more than an empty basin. For I see now what I was lacking all along.
Love.
A lamb to the slaughter I was and I sacrificed myself up for love as I knew you once did. I gave myself and everything I was and desired only love and acceptance in return.
A perversion, a mockery, a jape was my reward. My twisted and mutilated visage will stand as testament to my folly. He is now me and we are us, but no love is to be found in our empty and still heart.
Even as I write these final words I know I am myself no longer. Despite the promises of the Darkness, he never meant for us to be equals.
Can anyone absolve me of what I have done?
* L
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“How many times have you read that tattered old thing now? When will you ever tell me of the secrets it contains?” Abraham heard his wife ask sleepily from his side. The early morning sunlight crept in through the cracks in the curtains and he raised his head from his pillow and gazed into the hazel eyes of his better half. He reached out and gingerly swept the auburn hair from her face, wincing internally at the scars that marred her so. An unrivaled beauty Autumn once was, her namesake a flawless reflection of her majesty and splendor, and every man who once gazed upon her face was enraptured. Abraham had been no different, everything he was and everything he had was all for her. She hid her face to all but a few, him being the first, and he smiled lovingly and kissed her plump lips.
“My, what a perfect way to start the day,” Autumn breathed as she blinked and fluttered her thick eyelashes. Abe ran his fingers gingerly along the old scars that blemished her otherwise perfect face and rage filled him as it always did. His leg flared in pain and his chest began to heave as his familiar companions, ire and hatred, filled his heart. He closed his eyes and relaxed as his wife’s long fingers traced small circles across his bare chest. “Breathe, love. Does my ugliness upset you so? Shall I hide away from you as well?”
“You know that is not why I rage. Everything about you is beautiful and every day I love you more than the last.” He poured out to her once again. “Your scars are simply a reminder of my failures. They are a testament to my weakness and the folly of your choice.”
“If you had chosen him, he would have been able to protect you where I could not. No matter how hard I tried I was never his equal. Not once was I ever able to best him,” Abraham closed his eyes and hated himself for saying the words. “You chose wrong, love.”
“You are right to say that the two of you were never equals,” Autumn told him. “But as far as I am concerned you have always been far greater than he. Strength is not everything dear husband, and you have many redeeming qualities. Though of late, your anger and broodiness have been grating away at my patience and sanity.”
Abraham chuckled and kissed her again, “Everything I do is for you, my love, I seek only to give you the world and everything in it. You deserve it all after what was taken from you.”
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“I have everything I need,” Autumn smiled gently. “I have my husband who I love, my children who we raised to be strong, and my life. I gave everything up willingly, my love, I chose you and I know that it was not wrong to do so. Now show me that I chose correctly.”
Abe grinned and rolled over to lay beside his wife. His hands caressed her face and neck and he planted tender kisses on her that quickly became more passionate. His hands began to roam her body, and he grinned to himself as she let sighs of pleasure escape her lips from his mere touches.
A knock on the door was all it took to stifle the moment. “Forgive me sir. You know I would not disturb you unless it was important.”
Abraham closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying and failing to will the anger away. He looked over at his wife who threw out her lips and pouted, “Go, dear husband. I know that you have work to attend to.”
Grumbling, Abe rolled over to his side of the bed and swung his legs over the edge. He reached down and grabbed his prosthetic, belting it and fastening it to the stump where his leg once was. He walked over to the door and threw it open unashamedly, glaring daggers at the grunt who dared to disturb his morning.
The man looked down and coughed when he spied his boss’ lack of clothing. Abe grinned nastily at the man as his wife giggled from the bed in the back of the room. “This really had better be good or you’ll be pounding sand for the next month.”
The man collected himself and snapped to attention, saluting his boss. “Commander Ryker has returned from her expedition alongside Captain Hemlock, sir. They bade me come and fetch you so they could report in.”
Abraham regarded the man who stood ramrod straight. He nodded and dismissed the grunt and the poor sap wasted no time hurrying away down the long metallic corridor. Abe turned to his wife and grumbled when he saw that she was already beginning to dress herself.
“Another time, dear husband,” Autumn laughed. “Let us go and see our daughter. I will wake Gio up, I’m sure he will be excited to see his sister.”
Abraham dressed quickly and left his wife who was still readying herself. He walked down the long corridors of the Team Rocket compound, lost in thought over the morning that could have been.
The diary that he stole from Sebastian all those years ago flashed in his mind once again and he idly ran his hands along the pocket where he securely kept it.
It was all for love, Abraham snorted. At the end of the day love and acceptance are all that anyone ever wants.
He reached a staircase, walked past it towards the elevator, and rode it to the top floor. The wall in his tavern opened in half, revealing an elevator and he stepped out into the dingy and dimly lit common room. His daughter sat at the bar on a stool beside Hemlock and the two women had their gazes downcast; they didn’t look up as he ambled behind the counter.
“I take it you failed, then?” Abraham seethed, using every ounce of willpower he had to not scream in rage at the incompetence of every subordinate he had under his employ. Even his daughter was a failure.
“We succeeded with one of our objectives,” Captain Hemlock desperately offered up. “The school, it is certain to be ruined now. Each regiment has been reporting that all or almost all of the students and their chaperones have been killed. There is no way that the school can oppose us now.”
“Almost all?” Abraham didn’t miss the way she phrased her words. “Almost all isn’t good enough. Because I can guarantee from the way you’re desperately trying to placate me that the students who got away are the strong ones, the important ones who can and will oppose us down the road.”
Hemlock shut her mouth and looked back down at the bar top.
“And what of your friend?” Abe asked his daughter, already knowing the answer. “What of the boy? Did you succeed in capturing him?”
She shook her head refusing to meet his eyes and he threw an empty ale glass into the wall where it shattered into millions of glass shards. “All of our planning down the drain! Everything we strove for, all for naught! We won’t have an opportunity to capture that boy again and the sacrifice we needed has now been lost to us! Get the fuck out of my sight!”
Hemlock wasted no time, she scrambled for the stairs and darted down them. Aubrey turned to follow but paused. She hesitated but ultimately walked back to the counter where her father shook with fury.
“The plan failed and I take full responsibility,” she told her dad.
“No,” he breathed, calming only slightly. “It was my fault. It was a mistake to put you in charge, you were not ready.”
She stood there unmoving and let him speak.
“Are you certain of where your loyalties lie, daughter?” Abe asked her. “You don’t still hold feelings for the boy, for your one time friend?”
“I have done everything you’ve ever asked. I’ve killed for you,” She spat venomously. “Do not dare question my loyalties.”
He regarded his daughter for a moment and ultimately nodded once, “Yes, you have done everything I have asked of you. But your failure has set us back farther than you could ever know. Now we must come up with a new plan.
“About that,” Aubrey said. “My failure left a foul taste in my mouth, I was not fond of it. The return trip left me with ample time to think and plan, and I believe I’ve come up with something good.”
Abe’s rage slowly turned to elation as he heard his daughter recount the details of her plan. He grabbed her, not noticing her flinch and he pulled her into a rare hug. “Yes, it is a brilliant idea. I expect nothing less from you daughter! We will need time to prepare properly, though. Go wash off the stink of your failure and say hello to your mother and brother. You’re dismissed.”
He smiled to himself as she walked towards the stairs and began her descent. It could still be salvaged after all.
He plunged his hand into his pocket and pulled the diary out, turning to the final entry and trying to ward away the familiar chill that he always got whenever he read the words of the new speaker.
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The words found in this journal? They are nothing more than the useless pandering of a dullard and a dreamer. A man who was far too weak to resist his temptation and desires. For what is love but a shackle? Love is a tether that fetters us to our weaknesses.
To the one who reads these words, three things I offer to thee.
Seek me out and offer a sacrifice, and you will rule over all. Everything will be your endless Domain.
Find me and then offer everything unto me. For what is impossible in the face of limitless Time?
Call out to me and untether yourself from the shackles that bind you. I will make all of Reality bend to your every whim and the universe will rest in your very hand.
You need only find me and all that could have been will be made to pass.
Find me and power unlimited will be yours.