Blood dripped from the razor-sharp edge of my ax, Sylke. The strongest opponent I had ever faced kneeled before me, defeated by my unrelenting attack. I could barely hold my weapon, both arms covered in numerous wounds. The air steamed as I panted for breath, each exhale like a small gale. It was finally time.

“Where is She?” I spoke slowly, calmly, despite my grievous injuries. My foe grimaced, releasing the hold on her greatsword, slowly leaning backward, until she was flat on the ground, one hand wiping the sweat and blood from her brow.

“She lies beyond one final Portal, August, but be warned, she is not as she was. Take caution when entering the plane, for it is filled with a peaceful, weak race, but one who possess great power, hidden within powerful fortresses. They fly on giant metal dragons, and ride iron carriages that use no horses. A strange people, with even stranger ways. Take heed, Warrior, for you shall soon face a challenge unlike any before.” The words were slow, but deliberate, as befitting a Priestess of Ashar, the bastard God-King who kept my beloved Goddess from her people. 

“The only ones who shall take heed will be those that I leave in my wake. If these ‘peaceful’ folk dare stand in my way, they will merely mark the road which I travel.” Grim words, coming from a stoney face, one that hid the childish jubilation within. I scratched at my greying beard, before slowly reaching a hand down to the noble woman. She accepted my offer, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet.

“Will you now claim me, as is tradition?” Hope sparkled in her eyes as they roamed my body. Though thin and gangly, my thick leather coat made my wiry frame seem thick and broad. Her words were expected, but they still caused me to avert my eyes.

“I fear I cannot, milady. I carry both the Curse of Andrias, my youth stolen from me, as well as the Curse of Inhotem.” The woman gasped, hand covering her mouth as she lamented my definitely real curse. In no way would I, a great Warrior carrying the blessing of the Autumn Winds, would fake a curse of infertility in order to hide his mediocre, 6” member. A great warrior such as I would instead rise to the challenge, no matter that all the other Warriors were more endowed than themselves.

“It truly is a loss to the women of the world, for a man such as yourself to be cursed so. A terrible loss indeed.” The woman let out a long sigh, giving my body one last look, before turning around, and gesturing with one hand. She spoke long, powerful words. Words that I could not understand, even with my magical translator. Words of Power echoed through the dimly lit cavern, causing a large purple Rift to appear.

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“You have arrived at a poor time. The world is beset with troubles. What was once a land protected from nearly all magical travelers, has now become open to all. In addition, Magic, once hidden from the populace, has Returned, in splendid view for all to see. Though the people hide their fears well, the world is a bubbling kettle, soon to burst. I say this three times. Take care, young Warrior.” With those final words, and a parting kiss on my whiskered cheeks, I stepped through the rift, and into this new world, darkness slowly replaced with dim lights. Nothing could possibly stop me now. I strode boldly towards the oncoming light, ready to face whatever challenge awaited me.

And that's when it hit me. Literally. A thousand pounds of metal traveling at explosives speeds will wreck anyone's day. Like a kite with its strings cut, I flew backward, landing against some wooden object. The world went silent for a moment, before it blasted into focus, the sounds of horns, the screech of metal on metal, and many screams echoed around me. I shook my head, trying desperately to shake the film from my vision, but it was no use. I stared dimly at my sudden foe, its brilliant light blinding me. Slowly, my concious faded, my dissapointment eased slightly by the sight of my enemy, the indent of my body plastered firmly on its metallic face. Smoke billowed from it, and the its horrendous screeching slowly died. At least I had slain the beast before my last moments. I closed my eyes, prepared for the final darkness of death....

I waited.... and waited.... The pain didn't fade, and the noise blared as loudly as ever. I opened one eye, scowling at my surroundings. Damn, not today, huh? Such a death would have surely netted me plenty of luscious women in the Gardens of Sigrid. What a shame.

Soon, a woman appeared in front of me, and started screaming incoherently. It took her a while to start making sense, but it only resulted in her demanding to know what I was doing in the middle of the road. It should have been OBVIOUS, but apparently, these people were peaceful, and weren't familiar with the sight of glorious combat. The noise was so unpleasant, any hope of a quiet death was ruined. My eyes fluttered open, before I let out a long, weezing cough. "Shut yer yap, you sound like some mewling babe. If you have no respect for battle, at least give me the respect of a wounded man, and fetch me a healer."

The woman responded with some vague nonsense about calling 911, and that they needed an ambulance, and maybe some Wardens to escort me to an Asylum. Too many words, and not enough meaning. I looked down at my legs, and seeing them twisted behind me, I knew they were out of commission. At least the pain was only mildly excruciating. Nothing that a proud, noble warrior like myself couldn't handle. And I definitely didn't wait for the woman to turn away before releasing some very manly tears. After that, I decided a nap was in order. A warrior needs to maintain their strength, after all. And no warrior was better than I at taking naps. 

And just like that, I was asleep.