Chapter 3
The Adventure of the Solitary John (1)
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“This? This is oleoresin capsicum—1.3% capsaicinoids.”
In the world I came from, we called it ‘Pepper Spray’—a non-lethal self-defense weapon designed to cause temporary blindness, intense burning pain, and respiratory distress. To extract the active ingredient, capsaicin, from Cayenne Chili, you need knowledge of pharmacognosy. And to turn it into a functional spray, you need an understanding of pharmaceutics to formulate it properly.
If creating something like this makes me a witch, then by that logic, every pharmacist must be qualified for enrolling in a wizarding school!
Still, there’s legal stuff to consider. As a weapon, its possession is restricted depending on the country. Misuse can lead to serious consequences. However, in my nation—the Steam Empire—no regulations exist for this device. As long as the victim isn’t permanently maimed or seriously injured, it’s an acceptable method to incapacitate a strong hostile man.
I looked down at the writhing figure before me, watching as he clutched his face, gasping in agony.
“Don’t worry, mister. You won’t die. The effect is temporary—it usually lasts about 15 to 45 minutes.” I shrugged. “But if you want to get rid of it faster, try flushing your face with fresh water. Or, perhaps, you could just cry it out. Tears are water, after all.”
“You! You will regret this!” he howled between ragged gasps.
I waved a dismissive hand. “Yeah, yeah. But given your current condition, I doubt you’ll be a threat anytime soon.”
Slipping the spray back into my pocket, I finally took in my surroundings. The bystanders stood frozen, their faces caught in shock and unease. Their uncertainty made the air feel heavier, the silence pressing down on me. To break the tension, I feigned a bright, easygoing smile—like this had been nothing more than a simple product demonstration, but I don’t expect applause or any feedback.
However…
A slow, deliberate clap shattered the moment.
“That was the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen! It’s both practical and innovative.”
It’s ‘John’ guy!
He stepped forward, his eyes glinting with amusement as he continued clapping. “If you decide to refine this and turn it into a commercial product, I’d certainly be among your first customers. And if funding is an issue…” He tilted his head, grinning. “I’d be more than happy to invest. Would that make you a little more interested in me?”
I met his gaze with nothing but disdain.
“No” was a single word that I would give to him!
With that, I turned on my heel and walked away, willing myself to pretend he was nothing more than an inconvenient decoration in the background. The ‘John’ guy chuckled behind me, clearly unfazed by my rejection.
“Such a cold response,” he said.
I refused to dignify him with an answer and kept walking. My patience had worn thin, and I had no interest in entertaining his games any longer. Behind me, the murmurs of the crowd still lingered from an incident, but I made up my mind that I wouldn’t turn around to look back, even if there was an irritating jerk following me.
Unhurried, steady, and unmistakably deliberate.
That ‘John’ guy had no intention to hide his own footsteps.
I understand, if he had already made it clear that he would follow me, and had no intention of harming me (at least, by himself), but it didn’t help me to trust him a little bit. I couldn’t let my guard down. So, I chose the safest path for today’s circumstance—the busiest and busting street available—the path that I wouldn’t walk with him alone.
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“Come in, come in, come in!” A lively voice boomed across the bustling square, nearly swallowed by the clamor of merchants, farmers, and eager shoppers. “Today is the Farmer’s Fair—a grand celebration of the Month of Lady Harvest! Everything here has been freshly dug from the soil, plucked from the vine, or gathered at the peak of ripeness! We have fresh fruits, fresh meats, fresh vegetables—and for those seeking to spark their love life, fresh flowers as well!”
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The air hummed with life.
Banners bearing the golden wheat emblem of the Farmer’s Guild fluttered high above the stalls, proudly marking the annual harvest festival. The scent of earthy produce, spiced cider, and roasted meats wove together, wrapping the square in a warm, inviting aroma.
For a brief moment, I actually found myself enjoying the sights and sounds of it all.
This isn’t bad… not bad at all.
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“Vendor, care to recommend?”
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The smooth, unmistakable voice halted me mid-step.
I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t stop myself from listening.
“A man seeking advice? Wonderful!” The vendor clapped his hands together, beaming. “Tell me, sir, what do you have in mind? How may I serve you?”
That ‘John’ guy sighed theatrically, pressing a hand to his chest as if deeply burdened. “Well… the girl I crushed seems quite frustrated with me at first sight. I wonder if I had made a misstep. Now, I seek something that might improve my chances of winning her over on another attempt.”
My head snapped toward him in an instant, my glare sharp enough to cut steel.
The vendor, catching on, glanced at me before leaning in with a knowing smirk. “Ho, ho! A troubled romance, is it?” He lowered his voice conspiratorially. “Is that the young lady, sir?”
“Yes, that young lady.” the cheeky man’s lips curled into a grin as he met my gaze.
“Well, well! Then perhaps a bouquet of roses would be the perfect gift to soothe her mood,” the vendor suggested enthusiastically.
“Brilliant! A classic choice.”
“How many shall I wrap for you, sir?”
“A hundred.”
The vendor nearly dropped the flowers. “A hundred!?”
“Yes,” that ‘John’ guy said smoothly. “A mere handful wouldn’t be enough to express the depth of my admiration.”
Admiration!? Admiration, my foot!
His absurdity… It was starting to choke me to death!
“What a passionate man! I like that! What else do you seek, sir?”
That ‘John’ guy tapped his chin in mock contemplation. “Hmm… what fruit would you recommend for someone intelligent and breathtakingly stubborn?”
The vendor rubbed his chin. “Intelligent, you say? How about apples? They’re also in season.”
“The forbidden fruit of wisdom, huh?” that ‘John’ guy mused. “Nothing could be more fitting for her than that.”
Without breaking eye contact, he plucked an apple from the display and took a slow, deliberate bite.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
“Sweet,” he murmured.
His lips curled into the most insufferable smirk I had ever seen.
A shiver crawled down my spine. Goosebumps erupted over my arms.
The vendor, blissfully unaware of my internal suffering, eagerly presented the next item. “Sir, would you be interested in our homemade wine? A fine vintage—strong, smooth, and, well… you never know, she might soften up after a drink.”
Huh!? What kind of logic is that!?
That ‘John’ guy chuckled. “Oh, I highly doubt alcohol might not be her taste. But I’ll take a bottle anyway.”
“And might I interest you in this fine silk scarf?” The vendor held up an elegant piece of fabric. “Handwoven by the housewives of our guild—high quality, perfect for a gift!”
That ‘John’ guy ran his fingers over the smooth fabric, then hummed thoughtfully. “Perhaps it would help in warming her cold, cold heart.”
Hey!? This man!? Seriously!?
Didn’t he just suffer a massive gambling loss? How dare he shop like he won the race himself!?
Never mind! I took a sharp turn into a quieter street, seeking to put some distance between myself and that ‘John’ guy. His presence was a nuisance I could hardly shake, and I needed a moment to clear my head. The problem was, while I was so fixated on avoiding him, I might have forgotten that he wasn’t the only potential threat today.
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Wait—!? Again!?
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From the shadows, a hand shot out, pulling me into a dark alleyway. Before I could react, something cold and unforgiving pressed against my side—a knife.
“Well, well… you’re a crafty one, aren’t you?” the mugger sneered, his grip firm as he loomed over me. “I saw what you did to that poor fool back there. Gotta say, that was a real dirty move for a lady your age! For a moment, I almost pitied him… but lucky for me, he took the hit first. Now, I know better than to fall for the same trick.”
I see. This mugger learned from someone else’s mistake.
As long as he had that knife against me, using the pepper spray wasn’t an option—he could cut me before I even had the chance to aim. But women from the modern world have more tools for self-defense than just capsaicinoids, don’t they? And this trick? I guarantee he’s never seen it before.
I let out a small, calculated sigh, feigning resignation. “Fine, fine. I’ll cooperate… Just don’t stab me.”
The mugger smirked, relaxing just a fraction. “That’s a good girl. Now—”
BZZT!!
A sharp crackling sound split through the alley as my concealed Wand discharged—a surge of electricity coursing straight into his torso.
“—GYYAAGHHH!!”
The mugger convulsed violently, his body locking up as thousands of volts wreaked havoc on his nervous system. His limbs jerked and twitched uncontrollably, his face twisting in agony. The knife clattered to the ground as his fingers spasmed open. Then, as if his strings had been cut, his body lurched backward—collapsing onto the filthy ground with a heavy thud.
I exhaled, lowering the device.
The faint sizzle of static still crackled in the air.
This project is called ‘Taser Wand’—and if there was ever a moment where people might mistake me for a real witch, this would be it.
Its principle? Just like its name—a taser.
To make this possible, I needed a small but high-capacity electrical capacitor—something far beyond what Victorian-era science could provide. But thanks to the unique resources and technology of this steampunk world, it miraculously became a reality.
However, I can’t take full credit for its creation. This isn’t entirely my invention—I merely pitched the idea to a real scientist.
And where did I get such an idea, you ask?
Well… Have you ever watched ‘Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes’ film?
Yeah. That scene, where the Detective Protagonist fights a giant Frenchman, is my inspiration.
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“Oh, what is this? Another science project? When will you stop impressing me?”
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I whipped around, and there I found that ‘John’ guy—but this time, his hands full of shopping bags and a ridiculous bouquet of roses, balancing his polished cane against his arm like an afterthought.
You know what!? I’m done!
I must get rid of him, right now!
I brandished my Taser Wand, and sparked a menacing flickering. “Are you interested to see a demonstration again!? This time, I’d love for you to experience it by yourself!!”
That ‘John’ guy’s eyes gleamed with amusement. “Interesting.”
He tilted his head, smirking. “But I highly doubt you can follow through. Your device appears to be... out of energy.”
Damn it. He’s right.
Due to the limitations of the technology I had access to, my Taser Wand only held a single-use charge before requiring a full day to recharge. Even though I could still press the button to make a sparks, it wouldn’t be enough to electrocute someone again.
“Tsk!” Who exactly was this ‘John’ guy!?
Did he really know my every move!?
I let out a frustrated sigh, trying to steady my thoughts. “I understand that following someone around isn’t technically a distinct offense*,” I shot him a sharp glare. “But I must say, your constant presence is starting to cause me Psychological Distress! I don’t even know who you really are—”
(*Runny Note: Really, even if you dislike this fact, it wasn’t. Most legal measures and regulations against ‘Stalking’ only came into existence in the 20th century, and they didn’t become truly strict until the later half.)
The man raised an eyebrow. “Hey, I already introduced myself. I am ‘John.’”
“Yes, John, which John? There are a million Johns in the world! And that’s not the point! If you were truly a fine gentleman, you’d learn when to quit and just leave me alone!”
That ‘John’ guy smirked. “Fine gentleman? That’s absolutely not me. And didn’t you tell me yourself? The streets are public property.”
“Ugh! Stop bugging me!” With my blood boiling, I could not resist screaming. “I’m not the kind of person who throws around my father’s influence, but this time… I’ve had enough of you! If you don’t stop getting on my nerves, I’ll tell Duke Silas Hound to handle you!”
A sharp intake of breath came from nearby.
The multiple pairs of footsteps approached us.
“Oi, did she just say ‘Duke Silas Hound’?” A rough voice whispered.
I turned my head—four men stood at the alley’s entrance, eyes gleaming like hungry wolves.
“Lads, that’s a jackpot! If we change the plan from simple mugging to ransom… that’ll fetch a bigger profit!”
“Damn right! We’ll make more than that stupid gambling scheme!” another sneered.
That ‘John’ guy sighed dramatically. “Lady Hound, you shouldn’t speak your father’s name that loud.”
“What!? Is this my fault!? You’re the one who pissed me off!” I snapped, arguing with him. But ignoring me, he turned to the gang with a casual shrug.
“Gentlemen! I'm actually one of her victims, you know? My finances have been severely damaged because of this young lady. If you don’t believe me, I could show you my betting ticket. Now, if you’d rather I walk away, that’s fine… but if you’re looking for new members, I’d be most grateful if you let me join your club.”
“What!? That’s betrayal!” I sputtered.
“Betrayal? You cannot use that word, since I was never on your side.”
I turned desperately to the thugs. “Hey, but this man literally told me he’d steal money from anyone who tried to rob me! Surely, that makes him untrustworthy, right!? Right!?”
One of the crooks chuckled darkly. “If the lady insists… we can’t just let him go.”
“See, see!?” I shot back at ‘John’ guy. “We’re stuck in this situation together now!”
“Stuck together? How romantic,” that ‘John’ guy grinned. “But in that case, I can simply run away. If you can catch up, you’re welcome to come with me.”
“What!?” I stared at him. “Look at my dress! I can’t run in this!”
“Then, Lady Hound,” he tipped his hat, his smirk widening, “I believe it’s time to say goodbye.”
Before he could make his grand escape, I grabbed onto his sleeve and dramatically fell to my knees. With the most pitiful, wide-eyed expression I could muster, I clung to him like a desperate heroine in a tragic opera.
“Oh, please, my gallant gentleman!” I pleaded, batting my eyelashes. “I beg you! Save this helpless damsel from her dire predicament!”
That ‘John’ guy blinked, then chuckled. “What?”
“Do it out of the kindness of your heart! Rescuing a lady in distress is the mark of a true hero!”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Seriously, Lady Hound, what do you think you’re doing?”
I doubled down, gripping his sleeve tighter. “My—Dear—John!” Urgh! I could feel my dignity shattering into pieces. “You wouldn’t let these ruffians bully a fragile and adorable woman like me, right? Right!?”
“My dear John?” A low chuckle rumbled in his throat. “Heh… now you’ve made yourself worthy of my protection, my dear Sherlin.”
With that, he carelessly dumped his shopping bags into my arms, the weight nearly toppling me over. Before I could protest, he wrapped his scarf snugly around my neck—a strangely casual yet possessive gesture. With an air of infuriating leisure, he stepped forward, his cane in one hand, the bouquet of roses still in the other.
“Wait, aren’t you leaving those flowers with me?” I asked.
“Oh? You want them?” He smirked over his shoulder. “Sorry, another time—I need them for something else.”
Before he finished his words, the bouquet was already in motion.
A blur of red and green cut through the air, slamming into the nearest thug’s face. Petals exploded in a vibrant shower, momentarily blinding him. Before the petals even hit the ground, John’s fist followed through, striking with unrelenting force. The man’s head snapped back, his body crumpling as roses rained down around him.
He exhaled slowly, then spoke—“Gentlemen, shall we begin?”