“I'm going to prepare a big cake for you! Wait for me. I won't be late!”
Was what Alucia said, as excitedly as usual. But looking at the clock on the wall, he noticed she was late, too late actually, as she had announced her leave in the early morning, and now it was midnight. He couldn't help but have a bad feeling about it. For the first time, Davante decided to visit her, his neighbor. He stared silently at the key in his hand, the spare key to her house she gave him, or more like pushed it into his hands regardless of what he said, but he had never used it before.
“I’ll…” he tightened his cold grip around the key as he reached his resolve and walked to the door, ready to leave his house, “Check on her…”
However, he found the door open before he could even put the key into use. He pressed the doorbell just in case, pushed the door further and walked inside as no one had answered the door. Closing the door softly behind him, he stood still for a moment as his ears immediately caught faint laughter not too far. He carefully stepped further into the dark house and followed the sounds, listening to Alucia’s voice as she laughed and mumbled some things he couldn’t comprehend.
“Haha… hahahaha… he's here... he's here, father! He's here!!”
Despite the uneasy feeling, he walked slowly until he found himself at an entrance leading to the kitchen. He stood by the long entry and hid from the laughing girl in the kitchen, hesitating to see her as the whole situation felt anything but good. He always found his sister a bit strange, but this time was different; he felt ominous.
“Davante~ it's you, right~?”
She called sweetly for him as if sensing his presence without having to show himself up. He remained silent and still.
“Right???”
He calmly stepped forward and turned his head to look at his sister finally; he wasn’t ready for the sight before him.
“Davante!”
He widened his eyes at the bloody scene; his sister pushed herself up with her only hand and smiled happily at his face despite her horrible shape, losing a big chunk of her left upper body and bathing in a pool of her own blood.
“Alucia…”
She suddenly crawled hurriedly to the stunned brother, who flinched at the way she moved like anything but human toward him, followed by the sound of blood against the floor, and pulled him down by his shirt, forcing him to bend down to meet her eyes and dirtying his shirt with her blood.
Up close, he was able to witness the tears falling from her wide glowing eyes despite the smile and laughter.
“Davante…”
Her voice wasn't the usual excited one, much calmer and heavier.
“Even if he can't see from your eyes anymore… even if he can't see from my eyes anymore…”
She got closer and whispered with her tear-stained and bloody face.
“Elois will always be watching you~”
Then… as if a switch… she went limp in his arms. The place was so quiet he couldn’t even hear his own breathing; he wondered if he was even breathing.
Looking at his sister’s dead body in his hands, he forced himself to calm down first. He slowly, very slowly looked to the small garden outside. He gently lowered the bloodied body down on the floor and walked out, reordering the process in his numbed head.
‘I never knew my sister…’
He dug the ground, went back to the kitchen, tried to drag the body to the hole he made, and went back to the kitchen to clean off all the blood. He stood still for a long moment in cold silence, eying the empty and clean place, then walked to the body outside. He started to bury his sister and pile the hole he dug with the sand, leaving her face uncovered till the last minute. He looked at her peaceful face one last time, thinking that, for the first time, she looked… normal… relaxed.
‘I think… Alucia… was just a doll… manipulated from day one…’
He lightly stabbed the shovel down on the ground and stood to catch his breath, holding the long stick with trembling hands as he looked down at the finished grave.
‘She never lived… was never alive…’
His grip tightened as he tried to repress the suffocating feelings within him, looking down at the lonely grave. He didn't know what kind of look he had on his stoic face…
‘It… hurts…’
“It hurts…” He mumbled in an attempt to lessen the immense pain he was feeling in his chest.
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The Red Flower
Chapter. 13
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“What… what do you mean…? You weren't there?” Elois asked in disbelief; he took a step back and let out a bewildered scoff, “Are you kidding me? So, you're telling me all this time I… you must be lying!” he smirked at him, looking at him as if he had said the most ridiculous thing ever.
Davante stiffened a little at the other's words, face unmoving, “I'm not. I left you a letter that day… that I would go somewhere else for several days and come back…”
Elois frowned in shock and doubt, “Then tell me, who was the boy I saw that night? So you're telling me I'm THAT crazy??” Elois yelled with accusing eyes at the other, whose icy eyes became impossibly colder.
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Davante slowly looked down in silence, ‘This is not the first time…’ He instantly remembered and imagined all the people who accused him and threw names at him, standing behind his cold back and still shouting and cussing at him, ‘I know… no matter what I say, I will always be a horrible person in their eyes for some reason I don't know about… so…’
He closed his eyes.
‘It's easier… to silence them in my head… I don't have to prove my innocence to them…’
‘But…’ His cold fingers twitched. He slowly opened his eyes and raised his head to glare darkly at the accusing past friend of his. ‘I wonder why this time… I feel… angry… or maybe… betrayed.’
“Liar…?” he asked back in a lower tone, “You call me a liar?” he raised his voice a bit and took a step toward the roommate, who looked taken aback, “Then I can also call you a liar, right?”
Elois flinched and had the nerve to look hurt at the false accusation against him.
“I welcomed you in my house, you, a stranger, a NOBODY. I believed you and understood that you were a victim of a horrific experience. But hey—” he moved closer to the other with a cold glare, noticing how the roommate took a step back despite the apparent difference in their body strength, “I can also believe you were just lying, right?”
“No… I wasn't…”
“So Elois, ‘were you acting all this time?!’ Did you take advantage of me? I told you it wasn't me. Do you expect me to know what you saw that night when I wasn't even there?”
“That—”
“An illusion,” the room fell silent for a moment, “It's as if you believe an illusion instead of the real person! The real person is here, in front of you, and I told you I wasn’t there!!”
Elois looked down with panicked eyes; his trembling only got worse, slowly bringing his hands to his head, “So… was everything… then how would I know what was real…”
Davante stared at the other, who was clearly close to having a panic attack anytime soon. He averted his eyes to the side to collect himself; he then looked back to Elois, a lot calmer than seconds ago.
He slowly moved his hand to reach for the trembling mess his roommate was.
“ARE YOU SURE?”
Davante froze in place with wide, startled eyes as the scribbled figure of his copy with wide eyes and missing lips appeared beside him with a chilling whisper in a suddenly white void, but it seemed Elois couldn't see it, making him notice again that it was all in his head, yet it felt too real, the presence beside him was too real to think of it as a long-lasted illusion.
“YOU'VE HELPED HIM BEFORE, BUT LOOK WHAT HE DID AFTER. HE LEFT YOU ALL ALONE.”
The figure pointed at Elois, who still didn't seem to notice anything and clutched his head with both hands in panic.
“FIRST 'ALVIS' AND NOW 'ELOIS'. WHO'RE YOU HELPING NEXT?”
The figure moved around Davante and stood behind him, resting its hands on his shoulders as it leaned to the other ear.
“YOU WERE DOING JUST FIIINE~ AWAY FROM EVERYONE AND FEEL NOTHING.”
It hopped and stood before the silent and alarmed teen.
“IT'S SO EASY TO IGNORE HIM AND EVERYONE, ISN'T IT?”
The figure offered its two hands, one closed into a fist and the other open.
“CHOOSE.”
Cold sweat formed on his forehead as he carefully eyed the scribbled hands.
‘I don't want to have anything to do with anyone…’
He slowly moved his hand to the fist but stopped midway.
‘But… I have a feeling… if I left Elois alone now…’
He slowly moved his hand away from the fist and carefully touched the scribbled fingers, ‘…something… no… Elois would die…’
Davante widened his eyes at his thoughts, looking at the fading scribbled hand, ‘Why… is this familiar? Why do I know what will happen?’
The figure’s eyes softened slightly and raised the open hand to its side, looking at Davante as it faded away, “YOU CAN ALWAYS ASK FOR MY HELP~”
And the void was replaced with the familiar room he shared with Elois. Davante took a breath and tried to calm down; he moved slowly to Elois and gently put his hand on his head.
Elois flinched but didn’t push him away as his head was brought to the other’s shoulder with light pats on the back of his head.
“Elois… you… since the first day I saw you, you always looked like you wanted to forget yourself, your identity…” Davante started calmly, reminding the other of the tranquility he first felt long in the past, “That’s why I told you… don't throw yourself away… when you want to escape reality, you begin to see things… but once you accept reality as it is… you will be able to know what's true and what's not.” He paused a little before carefully stating, “I think you can see them now… your family,” he felt the other stiffen in his hands, “They're back, they're here… with you,” he lightly ruffled Elois' hair, “You have people by your side now, Elois. Your father, brother, and Javi… stop running away from yourself and face your life. You… don't have to create a perfect lie to live anymore.”
Elois moved his trembling hand and grabbed Davante's shirt weakly, “But… I…”
“A 9-year-old kid didn't see you as a murderer. I’m sure your family wouldn't see you as one either... so… talk to them… okay?”
After a long silence, Davante felt something warm and wet on his shoulder. He glanced at the other, who hid his face in the teen’s shoulder, “…You… really cry a lot, don't you?”
Elois snorted out loud at the unexpected comment.
“What was that sound…?” asked the teen curiously as he was calmly let go.
“I'm trying to decide if I should laugh or cry now…” Elois wiped his tears with his hand, smiling a bit, “Just so you know, the last time I cried was 7 years ago… I'm not a crybaby, you brat.”
Davante blinked, and a small smile formed on his lips, “So you only cry when you're with me?”
“Shut up.” Elois looked down in apparent hesitance, “Dav- Dante… wait, you still hate your name…?” he looked right back at the stoic roommate.
“……”
“Yeah, so… Dante…” looking to the side with an awkward smile, he reluctantly asked, the smile disappearing instantly, “Your neighbor…… a girl… with short black hair… do you…”
“I don't know who you're talking about.”
Elois immediately stopped and looked pointedly at the floor.
Davante turned and walked to their wardrobe to grab new pairs of pajamas, “I'm going to bathe.” he walked to their shared bathroom and locked the door behind him, not waiting for an answer.
Elois remained still and silent before slowly staring at the closed door, looking regretful and hurt, “You… know her…”
.
.
Davante leaned on the door behind him with the pajama in hand, looking down in thought. ‘So I was right… Elois is the one who killed Alucia…’ he pushed himself away from the door, ‘When I met Elois that day, I… remembered Alucia… a lost victim…’ recalling the past faces of the two, ‘We were all similar in some way. But even so, I still wanted to push him away… I had a feeling he was the one Alucia mentioned before she died…’ the memory of her bloody face so evident in his mind, ‘I didn't feel anything bad from him… he didn't feel like a threat to me… it's just that I didn't want anyone in my life… But I… decided to help him because… unlike Alucia, he had a chance to change, to be saved…’
Recalling the weapon's shape when he accidentally found it while helping the sleeping Elois to lie comfortably on the sofa. He inspected the unique weapon and was instantly reminded of Alucia’s severe wounds, realizing the same weapon did them as he pictured in his head how it would look if stabbed in a certain way. Yet he didn’t say a thing; he couldn’t bring himself to call the broken teen at that time a murderer. He remembered that even when he learned the name of the stranger staying with him in his house, he wasn’t surprised; it all clicked perfectly when he repeated Alucia’s last words in his head.
“Elois will always be watching you~”
‘No matter how I looked at it, Elois… was not a threat. So I decided to try… for the first time… to try and save someone… I thought maybe I'd be able to change him for the better…’ remembering the light moments shared between them, ‘Without knowing, I started to talk more… smile more… one month… made me feel like a normal person, a human. That's why…’ he could feel his fingers going numb with the memory, ‘When I went back home after spending a week in the castle… I was looking forward to seeing him again, to feeling alive…’
The image of the cold, empty house he returned to that day was too clear in his head now after so long blocking it. He remembered how he felt empty when no one answered after calling out so many times, how cold and numb he felt when he held the small piece of paper after he found his letter untouched on the table, how his head turned all jumbled and numb.
“So… he didn't come back at all since that day…”
“Did he… run away from me…?”
“…my hands… so cold…”
The imagined picture of the cursing people circling him numbed him even more than anything.
‘Voices… voices…’
‘Monster…’
‘Creep…’
‘They all wished for me to die…’
“HE IS THE SAME AS EVERYONE.”
The scribbled figure whispered behind his smaller back as he looked down with empty eyes and the letter still in hand. ‘Is he…?’
“HE MUST HAVE HEARD EVERYONE AND BELIEVED THEM.”
The figure reasoned again, bending down to whisper to the small child, cooing when the letter fell slowly from the child’s cold hand.
“AWW~ I TOLD YOU TO FORGET EVERYONE. LOOK AT YOU NOW. YOU’RE HURT AGAIN,”
It hugged him from behind, but it was so cold, he couldn’t feel anything even when it patted his head in sympathy…
“FORGET HIM. HE WAS NOTHING, EASY EASY~”
He closed his eyes and listened to it. ‘That's right… just like everyone else… I'll forget him as well…’
‘It’s Easy…’
Was it? He questioned his past self. Recalling how fate had thrown him into Elois’ life again, funnily, he was the one who fell before the ginger head this time around.
Davante stared at the bathroom ceiling, sitting in the warm bath and recalling Elois’ introduction to him on his first day in the academy. Whispering to himself as he took everything in, “He tried to be a different person… a new person…” he went down a little so that only his head was out of the water. ‘So he… didn't run away from me…’
He suddenly remembered Ellmer, the big brother he never knew he had, who looked genuine in finding his family.
‘If Ellmer was telling me the truth, then that means he is my brother, and… Alucia is also his sister… who knows what would happen if he found out about Elois…’
He closed his eyes again as he relaxed in the comfortable silence.
“Even if he can't see from your eyes anymore…”
“Even if he can't see from my eyes anymore…”
“Elois will always be watching you~”
“……” the words strangely rang out in his head, echoing persistently to gain his utmost attention no matter how long he tried to ignore them. He whispered them like a mantra.
“Even if 'he' can't see from 'my eyes' anymore…”
“Even if 'he' can't see from Alucia's eyes anymore…”
“Elois will always be watching 'me'…”
He remembered Alucia…
“'My father' told 'me' that I was born for 'one person,’ and that person is my only happiness, so I should only 'watch' that person to be happy!”
He remembered Ellmer…
“So her father is… Lucas… Lucas Feldstain…?”
He remembered Elois…
“I'm Elois Feldstain.”
“I was kidnapped… the 'man' who worked with my mother killed her…”
He remembered his mother…
“'Baldrick' is looking at me from 'your' eyes!”
Davante opened his eyes slowly, repeating the words.
“Even if 'Baldrick' can't see from 'my eyes' anymore…”
“Even if 'Lucas' can't see through Alucia's eyes anymore…”
“'He' will always be watching 'me' through Elois' eyes…”
“Her father… Lucas…”
“Do you know who Baldrick is?!”
Alvis’ grim face came to his mind as he questioned him the last time.
“Elois Feldstain… Lucas Feldstain…”
Davante grabbed the side of the bathtub and pushed himself to sit up a little with wide eyes.
“Baldrick and Lucas… are the same person.”
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The End of CH. 13