“Sergeant!” The cadet tipped his hat to him as Rob walked across the courtyard to the dormitory block. The sky was grey and the clouds were full of rain just waiting to burst and make the day even more miserable. Rob pushed the door to the dormitory blocks and made his way to the recreation room. He hated sitting in the recreation room as it was normally full of cadets being loud but he did not want to be alone, not today. He walked in to the recreation room and was greeted by cadets who all froze and fell silent. There was a resounding echo of sergeants to which he nodded in response as he took his place on the tattered green sofa and pulled out his paper. The tv was on some late night chat show and was host was flamboyantly talking to the camera. Rob rolled his eyes and turned back to an article about the economy when something the chat show host said caught his attention.
“Hey, turn that up will you?” he asked the cadet closest to the tv.
“We have an exciting show for you tonight folks, very exciting indeed!” the chat show host exclaimed as the audience cheered. The chat show host went on to introduce a number of guests, the majority of whom Rob had never heard of. He was not particularly interested in any of them, but there was one he was keeping an eye out for.
“Last but not least please give it up for the lovely, the beautiful, the mesmerising Grace Stafford!” the talk show host yelled and stood up as the audience cheered. Rob’s breath caught in his throat as the doors on the tv pulled back and there she was, standing on the screen in front of him, just as he remembered her. Clearly money suited her and she looked happy and healthy and full of life. Her blonde hair had clearly been styled for the show and was pulled back in to a ponytail with a few curls falling around her face. Her make up was subtle and elegant. She wore a sequin golden gown that hugged every curve and showed off her figure. She was giggling and waving to the crowd as the host ran up to her and gave her a kiss on each cheek and pulled her in for a hug as if they were life long friends.
“Doesn’t she look lovely folks?” The chat show host held her out for the audience as they all cheered and Grace blushed.
She could never take a compliment, Rob though as he chuckled to himself. They made their way to the sofa and there was some banter and jokes between Grace and the talk show host which confirmed to Rob that this was not Grace’s first time meeting the chat show host and that they were in fact good friends who spent time together off the air.
“Now lets get down to the juicy stuff, you’re just about to head off on the book tour for your third and most anticipated book yet. Tell me more about that?”
“Oh yes well there’s not much to tell in truth James and I don’t want to give too much away otherwise what would be the point in people buying it?” Grace giggled, “what I can say is that it is about life. Just life in general, which most of you are probably thinking that normal life is not very exciting which is why people tend to read books to get away from day to day normal life. But what I want people to take from this is book is the traps and pitfalls in life and I hope that many people can see themselves in the main characters and that they know that they are not alone in the mistakes and the problems that they face in life, cause I can guarantee that we have all been there before.”
“Now you just got married about six months ago to the hilariously funny Baker Velasco. I did get to attend the wedding folks and I can tell you that it was such a beautiful day and Grace and Baker make the sweetest couple ever!” A picture appeared on screen of one of the wedding photos. Grace was laughing in a lace white gown. On anyone else it would have been described as the simplest gown ever but on her it looked beautiful. Next to her, with a face covered in cake must have been her now husband Baker Velasco. He was a well built fellow with brown wavy hair that went to his chin line and a beard. He was wearing a dark blue suit and was staring at Grace with a look of adoration.
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Huh, that’s ironic, Rob thought to himself. Once upon a time Grace had berated him about cutting his hair as it was too long and quote ‘made him look like a waste’. Now her husband was sporting a lovely head of hair that Grace would’ve deemed as too long or not smart enough, especially on their wedding day. Rob had heard of Baker Velasco. He was a comedian who was part of a comedy troop that Rob had actually introduced Grace to. He remembered that she had once bought him tickets to go and see them for his birthday, however, things had not gone to plan and she had ended up going to the show with her friend. He wondered if that’s where they had first met?
“Oh yes we had a wedding,” Grace gushed at the photo. She was smiling so hard that Rob was wondering whether or not it hurt her face.
“It was just a small gathering of family and close friends and our animals were involved obviously. But me and Baker took six months off just to enjoy marital bliss and now we are back at work again. In fact this is my first interview since before the wedding so feel honoured,” Grace teased the host, “but I am going on tour now and so is Baker with his comedy troop so go and buy tickets folks!” The next picture that followed was a picture of Grace on a stunning palomino horse with Baker next to her on a grey horse. They were smiling at each other and holding hands as two dogs were running along next to the animals. There was some more chat between Grace and the talk show host and Rob was slowly starting to withdraw more in to his thoughts.
Well she looks happy, clearly life has gone well for her, he thought as he picked up his paper and turned back to the article he was reading.
“Sir, do you mind if we change the channel?” one of the cadets asked and Rob grunted in response, he had seen enough of Grace and her happy life. It was almost like she was unintentionally rubbing her happiness in his face.
Oh get a grip Rob, he huffed as he stood up and stormed out of the recreation room. I need to think, and he stormed out of the dormitory block and in to the cool air outside.
The clouds had finally burst and rain was beating down on the cold concrete. Rob breathed in the wet air as the rain ran down his face.
She cannot be rubbing it in your face Rob, he thought as he took off across the court yard and towards the track. He feet were pounding on the floor and his breathing was heavy.
You had your chance with her and you ruined it, just like you ruin everything. She is happy now, so get over it. It’s not like she’s sending you messages at every chance she gets. She has clearly forgotten about you and has moved on. Rob was angry, yet he had no reason to be. He had ruined every chance he had with her, he had broken her in to a million pieces and then left her to put herself back together. Of course she was going to move on, what did he expect? A little part of him always wished that she had stayed hung up on him, that she had tried and fought for him. But she did. Three years their relationship spanned and those three years he had used her, he had lead her on, and he had emotionally broke her until she had had enough and she had left. She had moved on with her life like he wished he could. But when it came to Grace Stafford, he could not. She had a hold over him, and he was afraid that it was a hold that he was never going to be able to break free from. Five years after their relationship had broken down and she was so much better off. She had made something of herself, she had found true love and was happy and what had he done? Yes professionally he had made a career for himself, the military was a good career after all. But in his personal life he was miserable. He filled his life with objects and pixels but that only gave him moments of feeling happiness, never true happiness. He cannot remember the last time that he truly laughed, or the last time that he truly smiled. He always wondered what if? What if he had treated her better? What if she had came back for him? What if things had been different? But that’s the thing about life, you cannot spend forever wondering about what if’s. If you do, you will never see what is in front of you. Rob had decided that he had had enough of wondering about what if’s. Five years was long enough pondering over Grace and their life that could’ve been but wasn’t meant to be. He needed closure. It was in that moment that Rob made a plan, a plan that might reopen some long closed wounds, but at the end of the day, would allow him to move on with his life like she had done. This was his hope anyways!