And then his emotions cleared. He stuffed them down and didn’t think of them again.
Not for a while, anyway…
Taking deep breaths… taking deep… exhales…
Zan’s body was shaking. He wanted to be left alone. But where could solitude be at a time like this?
The church tent? No, it was always full. Especially now. Where, Zan didn’t know, until the answer struck him: he could go to his room.
Or even take a walk to the woods? Too dangerous.
He wanted to check-in with the Wardens and see if they made any progress on base repairs. Zan fidgeted. He felt anxious, though, about what he couldn’t say; obviously part of his mental unwellness had come from the ‘encounter’ he just had, but now his body felt on edge. Surely, his recent somatic responses couldn’t have only come from such an argument?
It was more than an argument, right? Zan told himself. It was cutting strings?
‘Stop it!’ Zan cursed himself. ‘I can’t think of this crap. Not now. I need privacy!’
Rushing to his chamber, Zan locked the door and pulled up the privacy slot so no one could see into the room through the solitary window.
Resting head first into his pillow in complete darkness, Zan replayed the encounter in his head: he entered, he sat down, then he had to defend himself. They didn’t even make small talk, just accused me of one-upping their son; Zan thought: did he do anything wrong? I probably could have done without the swearing… Zan relented on that point. But I don’t regret what I said. It was the truth!
Then Zan replayed the encounter: he entered the room, he sat down; the father scolded him for something beyond his scope… but wasn’t he perceptive? Didn’t I thrust the parasite-thing into me only to one-up Jiehong? Zan didn’t need to dwell on the question. He knew the answer: yeah, maybe I did, but what of it? Jiehong was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. For once, I wanted my time in the sun. It is not like he found the command center first, right? It WAS me. Everything I told them was truthful.
Zan wished he could sleep, but he wasn’t tired. He had just slept for a long time then eaten. No way he could be… tired? Then Zan realized, somehow, against all odds, he was tired.
He figured he would not be able to sleep. Not after having already had so much rest. It was the argument, he knew; it drained him.
Repeating the encounter in his head for a third time, Zan attempted a fourth re-play of the altercation before he fell asleep.
His dreaming was restless. He dreamed he was a small child again and playing on one of the farmer’s bales of hay when a monumental explosion — like a volcano — erupted in the distance. It blocked the sky and cast doom upon all; as the ashes fell, Young Dream Zan saw others running. He was too frightened to run. Fear rooted him in place even as the shockwaves washed over him, causing him to levitate before crashing him to the ground. Then came the heatwave… Young Dream Zan saw how all became incinerated once the heat wave touched. His heart sped faster than a thousand horses as he gave witness to the incoming wave of broiling air. He was going to die! He didn’t want to die.
He—
Woke up.
Zan didn’t know what to make of the dream. His slobber wetted the pillow and coated his face. Gross though it was, Zan made no move to clean himself or get up from the bed. He was… strangely paralyzed. After the passing of some minutes, rationality returned to Zan, and he shook the dream’s oppressive atmosphere away. Yet the memory of the dream lingered, causing Zan to wonder what it could mean.
Finally, moving to ease himself up from the bed, Zan sat upright on his mattress, his feet on the floor. He slowed his breathing. Little help it did until many minutes eloped, causing Zan to think and realize his body stank to high heaven.
He needed a bath.
Having a kind of peace-of-mind after the disturbing dream, his body finally letting the dream simply be a dream and therefore an irrational representation of the chaos of life, as opposed to something he had to muse on indefinitely, Zan pulled down his privacy slot.
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Finding a washroom as a side-way door tucked between two of the primary barrack chambers, Zan entered and found himself alone. Heading deeper into the washroom, he found a route which led to a naturally occurring hot-spring. He hadn’t expected a hot spring underground, but if it was part of the base, then such would explain its unlikelihood.
Zan didn’t overthink the hot spring’s existence. He stripped and slank inside the warm water, letting it wash over every bit of him.
It felt good. I feel good. Zan closed his eyes, letting himself truly feel the warmth and wet as it slicked over his body. Wetting a nearby heavy cloth, Zan rested the material over his forehead to ease his headache. I could really go for a cup of tea right now.
Iced tea, maybe? Though cave diving for ice would be extremely reckless, given the situation. I can’t be expected to be a soldier twenty-four seven, though, right? Maybe I have no choice? The invaders won’t be waiting around for me, after all. What choice do I have other than to throw myself into it? Still—
And on Zan went, debating with himself on his role in the conflict. Using the idealism of the heart present in those young enough to ignore the complexities of why people fight.
It was a moment of peace in the chaos, Zan knew as he washed his body, some parts more vigorously than others… because of uneven distribution of dirt. Yes.
Feeling himself relieved of some of his load, Zan exited the bath feeling refreshed.
He dried himself off with another set of heavy linen. Dressed in his cloth-armor — Zan didn’t have any other way to refer to the protective yet lightweight garb he wore — he exited the bath, making sure it was clean and ready for the next person who used. Likely Jiehong.
Ready to tackle the day, or at least for the next few hours, Zan returned to the upstairs and entered the war room.
Sigma-Prime was charging, so she was on her table being non-responsive.
Pointless hello then, but that’s fine. That’s on me for not realizing she was inert. Silly me, Zan thought.
Addressing the Screen Master, Zan said, “What is your next recommendation?”
“Zan! I am glad to see you are better rested and full of much needed nutrients. I would be happy to call a strategy meeting and to help you plan the next step of our operations. However, should we wait for your co-Ranger, Jiehong?”
Zan shook his head. “No, it is fine. Jiehong is spending some time with his parents at the moment. Besides, we had a fight a little while ago and things are rocky. I can plan alongside you and fill Jiehong in on the details when he has had some time to cool down.”
“I am sorry you are experiencing this difference of opinions, Zan. Is the issue between him and you something you wish to talk about? I am a Galactic Being. So I have lived for a very long time. I have picked up a lot of interpersonal skills in those times and am always happy to assist my Ranger-Knights any way I can,” Screen Master Simulacrum said.
Zan considered the Screen Master’s offer but shook his head. “Thank you. For the time being, I think we simply need more time. Let’s continue with the strategy meeting.”
“Understood. I have been monitoring the situation. Enemy forces are making large territorial gains within the border of your country. Currently, it seems the enemy is making a pile-drive to surround and assault the Kingship’s capital. Despite the large enemy force, however, the command center sits well outside of the enemy’s apparent goal. This is not to say the enemy is ignoring our region. Currently, the direction of the enemy forces allows us to posit their goal as being the seizure of the local capital. We should not take this as a confirmed strategy, however. The host is large and a splinter force might yet break off and launch an assault into our region. If this should happen, enemy troops would overrun us. Not even the defenses of the command center would be able to resist for long, not with so many in their number.”
Feeling sharp, Zan asked, “If the enemy should overrun us, what would happen to the command center?”
“Without open supply lines, the enemy would forcefully send us into hibernation mode. In hibernation mode, I would order the command center to use its emergency battery to dive into the ground using the heavy drill deep within its heart. This hibernation mode was the mode you and Jiehong disturbed the command center. Accordingly, the command center would remain in hibernation mode until such a time when the local hostiles were defeated in combat or until their evil rule withered into obscurity and it was safe for the center to resume operations.”
Zan thought about the Screen Master’s response. He said, “Why did the command center emerge now? An invasion is hardly safe.”
“The command center did not choose now to emerge. Surrounding the command center are waystones. A couple of days ago, you imbued these stones with a petty sum of magic. By doing so, you summoned the command center. Seeing your time of need, it allowed itself to be discovered so as to oppose the evil which threatens the land. Safety might be the command center’s first priority, but opposing evil will always be a risk it must take. In certain circumstances, of course. You should feel blessed, Zan. Few situations can call a Shiv command post to abandon its slow recovery.”
“I am honored,” Zan replied. “Truly. Your aid has been extremely useful. Thank you for helping us.” The Screen Master nodded and thanked Zan for restarting the order.
Continuing off the Screen Master’s explanation, Zan continued. “So right now, our top goal is to make sure the enemy doesn’t overwhelm the base, so the base doesn’t turn its tail and hide underground?”
“Correct,” the Screen Master said.
“And there is currently a huge force marching its way through the heart of my home. A force large enough to shatter our incumbent attempt at renewing the Shiv Order and defeating the enemy?”
“Correct again.”
“So, well… that makes our job easier, then. We just have to make sure the space between here and the massive convoy of troops is a wasteland of death.”
“Correct.”
Zan paced back and forth. He was thinking.
“So… how?” he said.
From the shadows came a voice. It said, “I think I know how…”