Chapter 8:
Forgive or Forget
Ariel
Ariel darted far beneath the surface, wanting nothing to do with Elsa or her magic. Her tail whipped in the water, up and down, beating currents to the surface, undoubtedly thrashing the very boat that contained the blonde witch. As she made her way further down into the depths of the sea, everything lit up in a green hue. The sea had swallowed up the light from the Sun and darkness had consumed her, her dark-sea vision aiding her with her sight.
When Ariel finally reached the seafloor, she dove at it, her body crashing hard into the soft dirt and her tail coming down behind her, slamming into the smooth soil. A thick cloud of dirt and dust plumed up into the water, enveloping the mermaid. Ariel beat her fists into the soft dirt, emitting a blood-curdling shriek that was sure to alert every known sea creature within fifty fathoms.
"How could I be so stupid as to trust another human?" Her face was flushed coral red and she could feel her body seething, trembling, with anger and betrayal. "I fell for it again. Again!" Ariel continued beating her fists into the seabed, more dirt and debris exploding into the water around her.
“I hate humans! I hate them all!” Her tears mixed with the seawater surrounding her. Ariel’s breath trembled as did her jaw and hands as she pounded her fists continuously into the soft dirt.
"I rescued a witch. I rescued Ursula!" Ariel thrashed her tail into the seabed as if she was a little mergirl again throwing a temper tantrum. She felt incredibly childish at beating up the seafloor, but it helped with venting her anger. Plus, there was the added bonus of having no one around, like her sisters, to make fun of her for the way she was acting.
The thought of rescuing someone like her aunt stayed in her mind. Even as she beat at the dirt with her fists and her tail and shook her head violently to the point of nearly snapping her neck, she couldn't bring herself to erase the thought.
"I should have let her drown," Ariel growled. Ariel beat a fist into the seafloor. "I should have never saved her!" Her other fist hit the dirt. "I should have listened to Father and not ventured to the surface." She beat her tail into the seabed. Ariel loved her father, but she hated admitting defeat to him, especially when it came to matters dealing with the surface. She knew there was potential to be had at being on the surface, just as Mother had known that as well, and to have Father's voice tell her, "Stay away from the surface," and to be right about it was a crushing blow to Ariel's spirit.
"She was supposed to be my prince," Ariel whimpered, her strength failing her. Not willing to let the heartache of her situation trump her anger, Ariel curled her upper lip and scrunched her nose; her eyes narrowed and her brows knitted together. She forced her heartache away and let her anger fuel her again. A new wave of strength coursed through her being as she closed her fists and wailed away at the seabed once again.
After several minutes of venting her anger through punching at the seabed, the dirt began to loosen and as it gave way a small nest of clams was revealed. Ariel, her fists still clenched, stared down at the nest of mollusks. With nostrils flared, eyes narrowed, and her chest rising and falling rapidly with each tempered breath, Ariel reached into the nest of clams and picked up a clam for each hand. She beat them against each other, cracking their small, delicate shells. When they were broken, she dropped them and picked up two more, continuing her aggressive assault on the clams.
With each clamshell cracked or broken, Ariel began prying open each shell with her fingers, exposing their soft, meaty centers. She dug her sharp nails into the clams’ pink flesh and ripped them from their destroyed homes. She shoved one pink, meaty, clam flesh after another into her mouth, now eating her way through her anger.
You may not like seafood, you witch, but I do and it’s what I eat! See if I ever risk my life for you or another human ever again! Ariel gnashed her teeth at the rubbery clam flesh and swallowed it all in one big gulp. The slimy, smooth texture of the clam meat reminded her of the phlegm she would occasionally get from being sick from when she was a human which upset her even more. She pounded her fists into the nest of broken clamshells and then darted out of the dirt cloud and went in search of other things to eat—things that wouldn’t remind her of humans or of Elsa.
"I'm so stupid," Ariel growled. "How could I ever think a human would be any different than Eric? They all start out nice, but then their terrible secrets come to fruition and they all end up the same."
Of course, she only had experience with one human, Prince Eric, but that was enough for her. She vividly remembered the times that he would yell at her and make her feel useless and unwanted; or the times he beat on her just to see another bruise or a "trophy mark" as he had put it. He had stopped touching her intimately about a year and half into their relationship and looking back on it, perhaps it had been for the best?
Recollecting the horrible memories of her past as a human, Ariel thought about swimming, nonstop, until she returned home, but something subconsciously stopped her. "I don't need Elsa. I don't need any human!"
Ariel swam on trying her best to vent her anger. As she spotted a school of mackerel glimmering in the setting Sun's warm, orange glow, she rose toward the surface. She darted into the school of mackerel and grabbed a fish with each hand. They squirmed and begged for her to let them go, but she would have none of it. Her sharp nails dug into their scaly bodies as her teeth dug deep into one of the fish’s flesh. She yanked its body from her mouth, a stream of warm crimson flowing from its severed body. She spit the head in the water, it sinking into the abyss, and then proceeded to decapitate the other fish in the same savage manner. When both fish were dead in her hands, Ariel tore into their bodies with her sharp teeth—devouring not only flesh and bone, but scales as well. At this point, she didn't care what she was eating as long as she was satiating her anger by being the ruthless, carnivorous predator that she was.
When she finished with one fish, she threw what remained into the water and began tearing into the other mackerel's body. Scales glittered amid the orange water as Ariel chewed each bite with her mouth open, blood spewing from the mackerel's twisted remains. As Ariel finished, she again threw what she didn't want into the water. She darted off again, heading back down into the dark abyss, her stomach sloshing with raw fish and raw clam meat.
As she moved through the dark, quiet sea, her pulse slowed and her fists loosened. The seafloor was covered with sea slugs trying to occupy conch shells of all sizes; octopi had settled themselves in the seabed and were patiently awaiting stray fish to come along so they could grab them and eat them; starfish were hanging out on algae-encrusted rocks; an entire civilization of guppies were hiding amongst a large garden of sea anemones that surrounded a lush, green meadow grown almost entirely from lively seaweed.
She didn't want to admit it to herself, but the longer she swam, the slower she had moved. Ariel shook her head, trying to rid the thoughts of the blonde witch from her mind.
I don't want to think about you, Elsa, she growled in her thoughts. Her jaw was clenched shut and her eyebrows were nearly knitted together. You lied to me. "You lied to me!" she shouted, her voice quavering as she made her way into the underwater meadow. She twisted in the water and dove into the seaweed, landing in the soft, lush meadow.
With her anger fading, her jaw began to loosen and tremble. Ariel sucked in a deep breath of water and exhaled slowly, a stream of bubbles escaping her gills. Her heartache was returning, and while she didn't want to feel it, she had completely exhausted her anger. "Why couldn't you have just been a normal girl?" sniffled Ariel, laying belly-down in the soft seaweed. “We were so wonderful together.” She buried her face in the crook of her elbow.
Her shoulders trembled and she wept softly to herself. “You were perfect in every way. You were caring, smart, kind, beautiful, funny, adorably innocent, and you had to ruin it all by being a witch.” Ariel lifted her head from her arm, her upper lip curled in disdain, as she said the word ‘witch’. The memories of her Aunt Ursula returned briefly, but faded as her expression softened as she thought once again of Elsa. I don’t want to hate you. I can’t hate you…
Ariel rolled over in the meadow, and yelped as something hard and pointy dug into her back. She arched her chest and reached under her back and pulled a small conch shell from the seaweed. She sighed and frowned as it reminded her of Elsa and the conch she had found in Mantis Forest and had given to the blonde witch as a gift. She put the shell to her ear hoping the sea would whisper to her and let her know how to solve her problem.
At first the conch was silent of all whispers, only the dull humming of the sea being heard. Ariel sighed, ready to throw the conch away, but then the hum softened and the shell whispered, "She's the Queen." Ariel held the shell to her ear hoping it would elaborate, but the hum of the sea returned.
Ariel sighed. The same message as before. "I don't know who the Queen is," Ariel muttered. "You're whispering secrets to the wrong mermaid." She tossed the conch shell away and inhaled another slow, deep breath of water.
The soft, slimy seaweed surrounding Ariel tickled her back and her tail. Her red hair floated above her head and she couldn’t resist a smile as she remembered Elsa touching her hair for the first time earlier in the day. She said I have pretty hair. I always thought it was bland, but she likes it. Ariel scooped up a large handful of her hair and covered her face with it. She likes my hair and I like hers. I like her smile and her voice. I like her icy blue eyes. I like her company.
I like her…
Ariel rolled over on her belly again, her arms crossed in front of her. She lowered her forehead to her forearm and sighed. "I can't like her," she muttered. "I can't like another human. Father will never allow me to be with another human." Her fingernails grazed the soft dirt beneath the seaweed. "I can't like her. I can't."
Ariel’s bottom lip trembled. She lifted her head and stared toward the surface, toward the stars. With her voice shaky and quiet, she asked, "What should I do, Mother? What would you do?" Waiting for an answer she knew she wasn't going to get, Ariel hung her head low with her tail slowly whipping through the seaweed. "I should just go home," she muttered, her head falling back to her forearms, her jaw trembling. "What was I thinking, swimming away from Atlantica in the first place?"
"The surface is no place for a mermaid."
There it was again, Father's voice reminding the young mermaid that she was in fact wrong for believing that she could make a life for herself on the surface. Ariel closed her eyes and wept quietly, admitting defeat. Her adventure and exploration for a new life was over. Atlantica was her home and it was time she returned.
I wasted my time.
As she wept to herself in the quiet, open meadow, images of Elsa flashed through her mind. Even though she had only met Elsa two days ago, she couldn't get over just how much she had grown attached to her. There was something about Elsa that made Ariel want to go back to her, despite the magic.
Elsa had been grateful to Ariel for having saved her life. She had eaten raw fish for her even though she preferred it cooked. She had listened to Ariel talk about her mother and the Floating Stars and what happens to merfolk when they pass on. Elsa had given more of her time to Ariel than anyone else had in years, except for Sebastian. She even used the seaweed blanket that Ariel had put together so she would stay warm at night, and Ariel had trusted her enough to let her hang on to her satchel—
Ariel's eyes suddenly shot open. “Wait, my satchel… Where is it?” Ariel lifted herself from the seaweed meadow and twirled around looking for her satchel. “It’s not here. It’s not here!” She stopped, her body floating in the water, and covered her mouth with her hand as she gasped once more. “Elsa…
“She still has my satchel. I left it and all of my belongings on the boat.” Ariel darted back and forth in the water. “What do I do? I could always ask her politely to give me my things, but what if she doesn’t want to see me? I mean, after the way I acted, who would want to see me again?”
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Ariel pondered her thoughts quietly as she drifted back into the lush meadow.
I could always wait until nightfall when she's asleep and then go and get my stuff? That’ll prevent her from having to see me and that’ll prevent me from having to deal with her magic. Ariel shuddered at the thought of magic. She used to always love magic when she was younger. Incantations were always fun to learn and to use, provided they were the safe ones taught exclusively to merchildren, but ever since her Aunt Ursula had cursed her with an incantation of her own, Ariel had had a hard time getting over it. She even avoided using the safe incantations, such as Song of Glee which could make any mermaid feeling upset or dejected feel temporarily happy and cheerful, ever since that fateful night seven years ago.
Nightfall it is, Ariel decided.
She rolled over on her stomach and crossed her arms out in front of her, resting her chin on her hands. The bottom of the sea was dark and calm. Being a mermaid, she knew she had little to fear laying out in the open meadow. She closed her eyes in an attempt to let sleep whisk her away to a world that was only accessible behind her eyelids. She turned her head slightly and inhaled a deep breath of water through her nostrils. She slowly exhaled it and before long she was asleep, only the sound of her soft snoring disturbing the otherwise silent, underwater meadow.
[. . .]
“Elsa, look! It’s snowing again!”
Ariel’s smile stretched from one ear to the other as she looked to the heavens. White snowflakes trickled down from the cloudless sky above. They glimmered in the Sun’s golden light. Each flake that hit her skin, her tongue, brought back a peaceful memory of her time in Flowerhaven before Eric had changed, before he had become physically and emotionally abusive to her.
Ariel, still gazing upon the falling snowflakes, leaned forward and shook Elsa’s shoulder. “Look!” Ariel noticed the boat shift a bit as Elsa turned to face her. “It’s snowing,” said Ariel, excitedly.
“I know.” The voice was distant, but Ariel recognized it as belonging to her new friend, Elsa. “I did it. I made the snow.”
Ariel furrowed her brows. She lowered her gaze from the falling snow to meet Elsa’s beautiful, icy blue eyes and noticed that they were red and puffy, her cheeks wet and glistening in the sunlight. Ariel reached forward, placing her hand on Elsa’s cheek. “What’s wrong?” Why was Elsa crying?
“I did it,” Elsa muttered, her voice quavering. “I caused the snow.” Elsa lowered her head tucking her chin into her chest, her lips curling down into a frown. Ariel gazed down into Elsa’s lap and saw what she meant.
In Elsa’s lap rested her hand and in the palm of her hand was a small ball of ice being formed by five streams of ice coming from her five digits. Circling the ball of ice were tiny flakes of snow. Realizing that magic had to be the only answer as to how Elsa was doing this, Ariel jolted away from Elsa—her peasant, her friend.
Fear enveloped Ariel and she lashed out in the only way she knew how. She shrieked.
Elsa’s breath hitched as a sob escaped her lips. “Ariel, pleas—"
“You! Y-You’re—”
“I’m a—”
“Witch!” roared Ariel. “You’re a witch! You tricked me!”
“No,” Elsa cried. She reached for Ariel, no doubt wanting to use her magic on her. “I didn’t trick you. I swear! I was just scared—”
Ariel searched the boat quickly and picked up the closest thing she could find. Her fingers curled around the smooth, fuzzy thickness of the conch shell and before Elsa could say another word, Ariel launched herself at the blonde witch. Elsa shrieked and the boat capsized, emptying both Ariel and Elsa into the warm, salty seawater.
Elsa thrashed about, trying to keep herself afloat. Ariel, feeling superior in her element, grabbed Elsa by the ankle and yanked her under. Elsa flailed her arms trying to free herself and shot ice all around her. Parts of the sea froze, but Ariel managed to avoid the magic. She raised her arm and brought the conch shell down hard across the blonde witch’s face. Blood spewed from Elsa’s ripped skin and she let out a gargled scream. More ice shot from her hands which Ariel managed to avoid. She twisted herself behind Elsa and grabbed a handful of blonde hair. She yanked it hard, nearly snapping Elsa’s neck. Elsa stared up at Ariel, her eyes wide with fear and betrayal. As she began to murmur a plea for Ariel to stop, Ariel curled her upper lip and brought her hand high above her head. "Witch," Ariel growled. Her grip tightened around the conch as she brought it down hard at Elsa.
[. . .]
Ariel's hand twitched. Her eyes were clenched as was her jaw. Her tail whipped frantically and suddenly she jolted awake, screaming, “Elsa!” Her body thrashed, disrupting the calm seawater around her. Some of the seaweed where her tail had been had been uprooted. She gasped for water, her gills working double time at providing her with oxygen. Her heart was pounding, threatening to rip through her chest. She clenched her eyes shut and pulled at her hair as she screamed, trying to rid her mind of the awful dream she had just had.
"No! No! No!" Ariel cried, as she shook her head in protest, trying to erase the memories of her dream. “I won’t hurt, Elsa! I won’t! I won’t!”
Her voice trembled as she screamed again. The seaweed and surrounding anemones rustled in the rippling, dark water as a large school of silvery-scaled minnows darted out of the tranquil, underwater meadow. Ariel lifted herself from the soft seaweed bedding she had fallen asleep in and darted off into the darkness, heading back the way she had come in search of her friend, in search of Elsa.
"I won't hurt her,” she cried.
# # #
As Ariel made her way to the surface, the water gleamed with the silvery glow of the Moon. Amid the water's surface twinkled the reflection of the surrounding stars as if the very souls of the merfolk before her were encouraging the young mermaid to make her way back to her lost human friend.
Don't worry, Elsa, I'm coming.
As Ariel approached the area in the sea where she had left Elsa, she noticed the boat was still in the same place or thereabout. Elsa hadn't rowed away. Elsa had stayed put and for Ariel to have abandoned her over a little display of magic, her heart shattered.
What have I done, she thought as she finally reached the boat. I promised her I wouldn't leave her and what did I do? I left! I abandoned her.
Ariel placed her hand gently on the bottom of the boat. She paused, unsure if she could return to Elsa. What if Elsa wanted nothing to do with Ariel? Ariel had already made the mistake of abandoning Elsa; if Elsa's decision was to never see her again, then how could Ariel blame her?
Ariel didn't let doubt cloud her mind, though. She made the decision to go ahead and see Elsa. She gently whipped her tail up and down as her head broke through the surface. The cool night air hit her skin and she took in a deep breath of air, her lungs expanding in her chest. Her red hair plastered her face and she brought her hands forward, removing her hair from her eyes. As she lifted higher and higher out of the water, her breasts floated on the surface. The cool air caused her nipples to harden beneath her bra. Ariel peered carefully into the boat. The sight before her elicited a gasp from the young mermaid.
Elsa was laying in the bottom of the boat wrapped up in the dry seaweed blanket and clutching Ariel's satchel in her arms as if it was a sponged animal—soft, animal-designed sponges that merchildren were often given by their parents as a sort of security when sleeping alone.
"Oh, my gods," Ariel murmured, transfixed on the site before her. "Elsa..." Ariel's voice trembled. "Elsa, I'm so sorry."
Ariel didn't want to disturb the sleeping blonde. Though her cheeks glistened with recent tears, Ariel could hear the soft sound of snoring escaping Elsa's slightly parted lips. Ariel did her best not to shift the boat too much as she propped her arm up on the side of it. She reached in with her other arm and slowly and carefully stroked Elsa's wet cheek with the backsides of her fingers. She wiped away the recent tears, lowering her head in shame and regret.
"What have I done?" she whispered, her voice quavering. "Elsa, I'm so sorry. You're not a monster. You're not a witch. You're just... you." She gently stroked Elsa's cheek again. Her skin was cool and soft to the touch. Ariel backed away and just stared down at her beautiful friend, or at least she had hoped they could still be friends. Her chest swelled with the fluttering of her heart. "I'm here for you," Ariel whispered. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll get you home and I promise I will protect you."
It was as if Father telling her that mermaids don't belong on the surface just wasn't true any longer. Maybe not all mermaids belonged on the surface, but for as long as Elsa was stranded out at sea, the surface would be Ariel's home. Ariel gently rested her hand against Elsa's wet cheek again. Though she said nothing, her heart beat with every caring word in the world for the sleeping blonde.
With that, Ariel submerged beneath the water, holding the palm of her hand against the underbelly of the small, wooden lifeboat. She didn't want to let go as she felt she was close to Elsa as long as she kept her hand on the boat. But, knowing she had to sleep, she parted ways from the boat and drifted down to the seabed.
Unlike the soft meadow she had fallen asleep in earlier, this part of the sea was sandy and grainy. There were vacant shells all over the seafloor and in order to get comfy, Ariel had to dig up the dirt in order to make a palatable place to lay. When she had made her place at the bottom of the sea, she curled up, wrapping her arms around her green tail, her tailfin covering her face. She took comfort in pretending that it was Elsa beside her instead of her own tail. She nuzzled her face into her tailfin pretending it was Elsa's soft, platinum blonde locks and pressed her lips against her tail.
"Sleep peacefully," Ariel whispered to her imaginary Elsa. "I've got you."
# # #
The next morning, Ariel had awoken to the warm, golden glow of the Sun beating down on her through the still water. She was still holding her tail and smiled and hugged it extra tight upon remembering that it was supposed to be Elsa. "But, you're not Elsa," she whispered, letting go of her tail. Ariel rolled over in her small patch of soil and faced the surface. "Elsa is up there."
Staring up at the surface, Ariel furrowed her brows. Something was missing. She sat up and then pushed herself into the water, her body floating idly. She swam to the surface and realized what it was that was missing.
Elsa!
The boat was gone. Elsa had paddled off all alone. Ariel's eyes widened and her jaw hung agape. Not again... "Elsa!" she screamed. Her voice echoed but there was no reply. "Elsa!"
As Ariel turned in all directions trying to spot anything that looked remotely like a boat, she noticed something glimmering on the surface, like a dinglehopper when aimed just right in the sunlight. Ariel darted off, hoping it would be a clue as to where Elsa had gone. As she grew closer to the glimmer on the surface she was awestruck at the sight. It wasn't a dinglehopper, but rather ice—a long stream of ice that continued on north for as far as Ariel could see.
This has to be her doing, Ariel thought. I have to find her! Ariel submerged and followed the long stretch of ice in hopes that it would lead her to her friend. After about an hour of nonstop swimming, Ariel's hopes had come to fruition.
Ahead, Ariel could make out the rounded underbelly of a small, wooden boat. She narrowed her eyes and beat her tail as hard as she could, her body ripping through the water at insurmountable speeds.
As she caught up with the boat, she resurfaced and yelled Elsa's name. Elsa paid her no attention and kept her arm outstretched at the back of the boat with a continuous stream of ice flowing from her hand. She faced forward and Ariel yelled her name again.
With Elsa getting away from Ariel, Ariel had to swim again to catch up to her. Ariel beat her palm against the side of the boat trying to get Elsa's attention. "Elsa," she screamed. "Stop, please!" Elsa just kept facing forward with her arm outstretched behind her, ice flowing from her hand.
Ariel submerged and did the only thing she could think of doing to get Elsa to stop. She beat her tail in the water and swam ahead quickly, reemerging in Elsa's path. Ariel watched as the boat grew closer and closer to her, seemingly not about to stop. You can hit me, because I'm not moving. The boat raced toward Ariel and in an abrupt stop, a small wave of water cascaded over Ariel's head knocking the young mermaid back.
"Get out of the way,” Elsa growled. Ariel’s throat bobbed. That beautiful voice Ariel had come to love was replaced with disdain and Ariel winced.
Ariel gathered her courage, parting her hair from her face. "Elsa, I need to talk to you."
"Get out. Of the way." Elsa's voice was coarse and demanding, a voice Ariel definitely didn’t like since it was her fault that Elsa was speaking to her this way.
"Please, I'm sorry. Just hear me out, okay? I'm sorry I freaked out yesterday."
Elsa was silent. Ariel stared up at the boat, her heart pounding in her chest, wondering whether the silence was good or bad. The boat shifted and Elsa came into view. Her eyes were narrowed. Her lips were straight and pursed. Her nostrils flared. Ariel wanted to shrink back under the surface.
"You're sorry," Elsa muttered. She rolled her eyes. "You're sorry," she reiterated, her voice louder and growing sterner and more agitated. "You don't get to say you're sorry," she shouted. "If I scare you so much, then leave! Forget me!" Ariel noticed Elsa’s eyes turning glossy with tears, whether from anger or sadness, she couldn't tell. Maybe from both?
"I don't need you to get me home." Elsa’s voice quavered. "I don't need your company." She sniffled. "I don't need your friendship." Her jaw trembled as her voice cracked. "And, I don't need your—" Elsa sobbed, unable to finish what she was about to say. "I'm sorry you had one bad experience with magic,” Elsa cried, “but my entire life has been one bad experience with magic."
Elsa sat back in the boat, disappearing from Ariel's view. Ariel moved forward, lifting herself up onto the boat. Her lips quivered and her voice shook. "Elsa, wait."
"No," Elsa said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I waited for you last night to return, hoping I could show you that I'm not a monster, but you never came back. You left me." Elsa's eyes showed what she was thinking and Ariel knew what was coming next. Ariel braced herself to the best of her ability at that moment. "You broke your promise," Elsa whimpered.
There it was. It ate at her last night and it ate at her now. Her shoulders slumped and her heart broke. "I didn't mean to," Ariel sniffled. "I was scared."
"Everyone's scared of me," Elsa shouted. Ariel flinched. Elsa buried her face in her hands and wept. Ariel climbed in the boat and positioned herself next to Elsa. She wrapped her arms around the petite blonde, holding her for the first time since pulling her out of the sail the night she had almost drowned. Elsa wrapped her arms around Ariel and held her tight, her shoulders heaving as she wept. "I'm tired of people fearing me," she cried softly.
"I don't fear you anymore," Ariel whispered, her voice still shaking. "You're not a witch. You're not a monster. I was wrong. You're you."
Elsa cried softly. “I just want to go home.”
"I'll get you home. I promise," said Ariel. "This time, I truly promise."
Elsa's arms tightened around Ariel as she buried her face in the crook of Ariel's neck, letting out a small whimper. Ariel gently ran her hand up and down Elsa's back, offering silent reassurance. The sensation of Elsa's cool body pressed against her own felt undeniably right to Ariel. Whatever her feelings for Elsa were, Ariel knew she was willing to embrace Elsa's magic if it meant staying close to her.
"Shh, I've got you," Ariel whispered. "I've got you."