Guardian Calyx was swearing in every single language of the two thousand seven hundred and sixty two languages he was more or less fluent in. The fuckers had done it. Whoever had kludged together the framework for the System Initiation on Planet Earth had been either lazy, criminally incompetent or downright malicious. The fact that neither he himself nor quality control had picked up on the fact that the base package had been copied from a punitive implementation of the Games Protocol was also inexcusable.
Nor was the fact that this particular package assumed at least a basic understanding of the Interface System and possible Development Paths by the Player helpful, the provided Help Menu thus severely lacking in functionality with several functions missing entirely. All in all one colossal clusterfuck of an Initiation that would severely impact Humanity’s survival rate and negatively affect their predisposition to the remainder of the galactic community. A problem that would eventually be laid at his feet if he knew anything about the process of finding the perfect scapegoat.
Which meant, that he would need to address at least the most glaring flaws in the provided package and patch the system to the extent possible before requesting further assistance from his superiors, which in turn meant he was coding. Which in turn meant that he had to do the one thing that the lack of among the professional duties of a Guardian had made him chose the profession in the first place.
He had first become aware of the issue when Player John John Johnson, what a hoot, had managed to lodge a complaint regarding System functionality with respect to the Skill Menu. Investigating the complaint had him puzzled. Why the hell was every single action possibly eligible as a Skill listed in the tree, it wasn’t part of the usual system initiation protocol but reserved for administrative analysis. Discovering that Stats were divided into sub-stats was a further red flag, it was an advanced function and usually gated behind Player Level 150. Full interface log was enabled, also a high level function reserved for administrative personnel. Every single new discovery painted an increasingly darker picture. Nonsensical distribution of Ascension Obelisks, mutation of wildlife set to aggressive, trade functionality for Ascension Obelisks disabled, information in Help Menu gated or restricted, basic skill package lacking and many more discrepancies and mistakes were added to his lengthening report on the issue.
Eventually he decided to investigate the source code of the initiation package, and then the swearing really gathered steam. Whoever had set up the package had copied the base code from the punitive system patch used to punish the Gaur, a notable historical incident. The Gaur had been an advanced civilisation who committed genocide against its nearest galactic neighbours after initiation into the System, an action which the council had voted a galactic crime and which resulted in their near extinction as a result of the punitive games protocol patch applied to their local area of space. The resultant games had been widely streamed and several fortunes were gained and lost betting on the survival of individual Players and the race as a whole.
Together with the prohibitively wasteful quantum energy based deactivation of electronics, petrochemical combustion and nuclear fission and fusion the punitive aspects of the package meant that Earth really got shafted. He now estimated survival rates to be in the single digit percentages. Which definitely hadn’t been the plan according to the estimates he had been provided with originally.
He would need to do everything possible within his limited scope of authority and competence to mitigate this disaster. By the time his report would have been analysed by the System Administration and an appropriate remedy discussed and decided on, Humanity would be nothing but a memorable footnote in galactic history. Probably used as an example to describe the effects of gross incompetence in system initiation design to educate future system coders in training.
Which explained why he was swearing continuously while trying to patch the local system, recording the changelog in patch notes that should be comprehensible to a majority of the barely literate human population.
Dear Humanity
The System Administration has fucked up and kindly wishes to convey their sincere apologies to the eventual survivors of the accidental apocalypse. Please take note that the System Administration does not accept any liability for their actions or lack thereof, although suitable compensation may be voluntarily awarded to Humanity should the System Administration magnanimously decide to do so. In order to address the issue of lower than projected number of survivors the System Administration has implemented several changes to improve Humanity’s odds and will monitor the situation more closely in future.
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
The following changes to the Interface and local System Functionality have been made for Version 1.01:
1. Skill Menu has been revised and will only show relevant Skills, the plethora of sub-skills, side skills, life skills and a majority of instinctual actions have been condensed into their relevant trees, detailed analysis of skill trees will remain available for those who wish to have a headache.
2. Skills have been divided into autonomous (passive) and non-autonomous (active) Skills.
3. Skills have been divided into Spells, Skills, Abilities and Auras
4. Existing Ascension Obelisks will be redistributed, all major population centres will receive one Ascension Obelisk, not one per 50 000 people.
5. The remote trader functionality has been unlocked for Players Level 10 or above.
6. Ascension Obelisks now have an area of effect with a 15 kilometre radius for the Remote Trader and Class Selection functionality, Ascension to the Exodus Worlds remains a contact based functionality.
7. Resources freed by removal of extraneous Ascension Obelisks will be reallocated to spawn System Obelisks in locations where more than 20 Level 10 Players reside outside the area of effect of an Ascension Obelisk. System Obelisks will be able to perform all functions of Ascension Obelisks save for Ascension to the Exodus Worlds and lack an area of effect.
8. A special basic Skill package* has been unlocked for all Players and will activate 12 hours after the Patch goes live for Players within the Area of Effect, please prepare accordingly and find a safe location.
9. The Profession Scavenger has been added as an additional fourth Profession, Players will again be able to choose any three eligible Professions.
10. Help Menu has been improved, additional tooltips are available for unlocked functionalities of the Interface.
11. Tooltips are now simplified to their base form, please select “Advanced Tooltips” in the tooltip menu should you wish to restore tooltips to their default complexity.
12. Party functionality has been enhanced, party leader will be able to send short telepathic commands to entire party within a limited range. Party size now limited to 25 Players as a result of this change.
13. Experience is now divided evenly between all members of a party, irrespective of contribution to ensure that non-combat members of groups have an increased chance of survival.
14. An additional Tooltip in respect of Cultivation has been added for all Players, irrespective of their eligibility.
15. Achievement has been added: Apocalypse Survivor, unlocked for Players initiated on Earth when System arrived and who reach Level 25 despite their low odds of survival.
16. Recording function has been enabled.
17. Quests System has been enabled.
18. Identify (Epic) can now write and read information to sub-database Earth.
19. As per System directive 3687.1a2.Ver0185 information on the rarity of Skills, Classes and Professions will be locked for Players. Function reserved for System Administration.
In addition, the System Administration wishes to convey the following information to Earth’s Players:
Sapient beings, as per Prime Rule 37, only grant a fifth of the Experience of an equal level non-sapient being. Earth’s fauna will continue to aggressively mutate, aggressive mutations should be exterminated on sight as their power will grow quickly. System Administration suggests that Players group up to eliminate dangerous targets, please use the enhanced Party functionality. Kindly be advised that aggression of mutations on earth is triggered specifically by loud noises. Act accordingly.
Power helps the Player survive. Classes provide a major initial boost in power, strive to reach Level 10 as fast as possible to unlock Classes and increase your chance of survival. Cultivation of Energy will provide an incremental boost to a Player’s power over time, please see new tooltips regarding cultivation and avail yourself of the functionality, every little bit helps.
The Special Basic Skill Package consists of the following free Skills:
Scavenger: Deconstruct (Rare), Absorb (Epic), Scan (Rare)
General: Forager (Common), Suppression (Rare),
Special: Analyse, Inspect, Scan, Survey and several other related Skills have been merged into Identify (Epic).
Special: Crystallise (Common)
Changes will go live 30 minutes after this notification. Please expect temporary suspension of system activities for approximately 15 seconds.
His limited authority didn’t allow him to make many changes, but the clearly incompetent coding gave him a lot more leeway than he had initially expected. Nonetheless, he would eventually need to stand up for his decisions and probably rationalise his unilateral actions before an enquiry. Good thing then that no-one could reasonably expect him to have known about the possible interactions of the Skills he made available as a package to the entirety of humanity. His way of compensating them for the truly shitty cards they had been dealt so far. Also his way of assuaging his guilty conscience. No sir, no guilt here.