Part 1
Fairytales and storybooks didn’t often have confessions, which both intrigued and puzzled Yuuko. It wasn’t as if they didn’t talk about the feeling attached to the act, but the feelings his books spoke on were different from what most people had, at least beyond a surface level.
He did, however, imagine that if they did have confessions, the scene would look much like what appeared before him. Distant hum of background noise— cars, people, crickets, footsteps, murmurs, advertisements— played quietly in a world he wasn’t a part of at the moment. The exception might’ve been the soft lapping sound of water bouncing against the thick concrete beside them. The river itself gave off a certain glow he couldn’t help but stare at ever since he arrived, an almost ethereal blend of soft white and vivid turquoise. It beautifully matched the lights of the city standing behind the girl, who bathed in its colors made all the more lucid against the darkness of the night.
The girl.
Ai Hirawa.
Long coffee brown hair flowed in waves down her cheeks and neck, stopping only when reaching her upper back. What little he understood about fashion from having spent so much time around Yui was that her outfit was made to emphasis her natural features: loose hair that framed a thin face, a large bust made prominent by a sleeveless tucked in shirt, and slender legs laid bare against the fabric of her skirt that swayed with what little wind could reach beneath the bridge.
“Yuuko—” she repeated once more, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. It was a useless gesture, since it fell right back again in front of eyes that sought an answer. “—would you like to go out with me?”
His storybooks didn’t have confessions.
But they did talk about love.
To his surprise, he found it difficult to put one foot in front of the other, but if Ai had noticed, she didn’t say anything.
“This really is a nice place,” he said, standing beside her to look at his oddly clear reflection in the water. “How’d you find it?”
“What a sadistic man, changing the topic like that~!” she said with a playful grin. Yuuko’s eyes followed her as strode behind him to sit on the wooden bench leaning against the stone. Crossing one leg over the other, she spoke. “I wasn’t the first one to find this place, believe it or not.”
“Someone told you about it?”
“No. But if the engraving here is anything to go by, a couple had long since used the place for themselves~”
“Engraving?”
Ai motioned next to her, and Yuuko followed to inspect.
“Yu…Hi?” he said, reading the long since worn vandalism with some confusion. “The first part of the names of a couple it sounds like.”
“Ufufu, I think so too.”
“Is that why you chose this place?” he said, taking a seat beside her. “You felt a connection to these people?”
Yuuko thought it was incredible how little her expression changed at hearing his words; exactly like the day he purposely crashed into her on the street, her face changed by millimeters, if even that much. No one could have noticed such minute changes.
Except for the one who looks for them in people everyday.
Though it only served to raise the question—why would such a young girl have so much experience in masking herself?
“A connection, huh…” she stood up, taking long strides towards the river with arms behind her back. Her dampened expression was quickly overwritten with one that looked more like curiosity. “I knew there was a reason it was you…to ask a question like that……”
He stood up, staying a few arms length away from the girl, but his words approached her without such hesitation.
“Ai,” he said with a cautious tone, “why are you confessing to me?”
“Ufufu, what a cruel way to phrase it~”
“O-Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it to sound—”
“It’s okay,” she said, turning to meet his eyes. “This is the first time we’ve had a proper conversation; it’s natural you’d be curious.”
“So there’s a reason.”
“Do you need a reason to like someone?”
The question caught him off guard. Of course, fundamentally speaking there’s no need for a person to have a reason to love someone else. Or rather, there can be so many that one can label it as loving the person themselves— was that what she meant?
Yuuko scratched the back of his head. “Maybe not. I guess I was just wondering since I don’t think I’ve done anything noteworthy, especially to get your attention.”
As he spoke, the girl reached for a small box inside a crevice by the river’s side; he recognized it immediately.
Ai clutched the gift tightly to her chest.
“It’s the first time anyone’s given me anything in return.” she spoke in a lulling voice. “Everyone always accepts it with gratitude, but no one has ever taken the time to get me something.”
“I wanted to show you the same kindness you showed me.”
“There’s more than one way to show it.” Yuuko’s eyes widened, he hadn’t even finished processing what Ai said until after she was pressed tight against his body. He felt her breath melt through the fabric of his shirt, warming his chest. Her arms latched tightly around him as she buried herself in his chest.
“Ai…?”
They stayed that way for many moments— Yuuko could feel the study beats of her heart against himself.
Has she really confessed just because he gave her something as simple as a gift?
“I…I’m sorry,” the words were heavy leaving his throat, “but I don’t think I’d be able to go out with you.”
He could feel the words clinging to his body, to the very air around him, with palpable weight. He hadn’t expected something like this, and yet as the silence continued, he was surprised to feel that weight disappear. As if he’d never spoken in the first place. They faded into the quiet that had already covered them.
“Say.” Yuuko let out a small gasp of surprise as the fabric of his clothes were tugged upwards, letting him meet the eyes of the girl who now stared up at him. “Can you tie this gift around the cuff on my wrist?”
“Your…ribbon?”
“I’ve never worn one before.”
“They…usually go in your hair.”
Even in the situation he was in, he couldn’t help but note that Ai’s pouting face looked much like someone he knew, it was cute.
“Is there a rule over where ribbons need to go?”
“Well, no, but normally—”
He was interrupted by the girl shifting her weight away from him. Opening the box, a small, peach-pink ribbon could be seen inside. It wasn’t long before the girl gently folded it over her pale skin, presenting the thin cloth to Yuuko.
Her face didn’t have any traces of registering what he just said; had she not heard him? Did he simply imagine telling her? He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it; it wouldn’t do him much good to repeat himself right now. She would return to the question again, and his answer would be the same.
He reached out, tugging on her delicate arm to bring it closer as a small yet audible gasp escaped her lips.
“S-Sorry, did it hurt?”
“No, just…”
When she didn’t say anything more, he took it as a sign to continue. The small cuff matched her outfit flawlessly, complimenting the pink of her blouse that hugged her frame so well; he did his best to focus solely on the bare skin touching his fingers.
“All done,” he said, tying the final knot. The ends were a bit lengthy, but the excess fabric gave a certain charm to her already appealing figure.
“I don’t think it—!”
His voice caught in his throat as a warm sensation suddenly and forcefully wrapped itself around his hand; on instinct his fingers curled inward, almost forcibly fitting into the smaller hand of the one who reached for them first. He said nothing as she strode within centimeters of him, bringing both their hands to the sides of their faces.
“Ai what are you—”
“Mhm,” she nodded, eyes fixed to their fingers. And yet, her gaze was distant, speaking almost as if to herself. “I knew I felt something here.”
Her glowing coffee eyes traced their way to Yuuko’s and back again, flipping his hand around and spreading it to have an unobstructed view of his open palm.
“I wonder why I couldn’t feel these the first time.”
He didn’t need to ask what she was referring to. Even in the faded turquoise light, the thin bands of white were visible to both their eyes— it was the first time in years someone noticed.
Under normal circumstances, the scars lining the inside of his palms would blend into the natural creases every person had, moreover, the scars faded with time. They were still visible to a discerning eye, but no one would notice such a thing in the first place.
“I’m surprised you were able to catch that.” he said, genuine in his compliment. “How’d you notice?”
“Your hands gave off a different feeling than others.”
“A different…feeling?”
“How did you get them?”
He faintly smiled to himself, recalling the decade old memory.
“I was in kindergarten..or was it first grade?” he began, the timeframe of the memory having become fuzzy with time. “Either way, I was with a group of boys in an alley and we found a dog there. It was aggressive, but didn’t attack us, not that it stopped one of the boys from attacking it with a stick.”
“Poor thing…”
“It was a happy ending,” he said reassuringly. “I got in between them, so the kid that was attacking the dog turned his attention to me.” he tugged his hand inward, inspecting the faint silver lines covering the skin. “I did my best to cover my body but still held my hands out. I guess some of the wounds went deeper than I thought.”
“And the dog?”
He closed his hand with a fist, returning it to his side as he gave her a faint smile. “I ended up adopting him.”
“That is a happy ending!” she said, putting her hands together and pressing them against her cheek. “What a hero~!”
Yuuko scratched the back of his head at hearing her words. “He started following me, I didn’t have much of a choice—”
“Little Yuuko was a hometown hero~! Ahahah!”
Even as his embarrassment and her laughter faded with the echoes that stretched out to either side of them, he couldn’t help but smile at seeing her laugh at his story.
He looked at the inside of his palms once more. Having had the scars for years, they were easily noticeable to him—
“What a hero~!”
—and now, she took notice of them as well.
“Ai, what did you mean by my hands feeling different?”
As she moved to stand above the reflective waters, a strand of curly hair slipped from behind her ear, adding to the ones that delicately covered her pupils.
“Did you know people have different tints to them?”
He was about to respond, but her tone made it feel like one wasn’t needed; sure enough, she continued.
“Your hands don’t match your tint. In class you’re quiet, but not shy. You’re right in some questions, wrong in others.” She turned to face him. “Your hands shouldn’t feel as burdened as they do, with scars and semi-coarse skin beneath your fingers. Your life doesn't reflect it.”
“My life?”
She returned to face the water, though still spoke loud enough to where he knew she was referring to him.
“What’s most important is that you really understand people, don’t you?”
Yuuko too began staring at the waters, though stopped after only a moment. “I guess that answers my question as to whether or not you’ve seen me writing in my journal,” he said with an amused sigh. “That must mean you really understand them too, don’t you?”
“And even knowing that about me, you decided to come here.”
Yuuko’s eyes widened at hearing her voice, at the implication it carried. Before he knew it, she was close to him again— it was the second time she managed to close the distance without him even having registered it. This time, however, she kept her arms behind her back.
“I learned something recently,” smiling at him with an expression that was difficult to discern, “when a person becomes excited, their blood becomes faster. At its peak, it can travel ninety-two point one centimeters per second.”
Her face inched closer to his own. “I wonder if that’s why I feel so warm around you. I wonder if that’s why I confessed to you.”
She was close enough that her breath tickled his neck, and close enough that he could smell the fragrance of flowers in her hair.
Even so…
“Ai, I—”
“I know,” she interrupted with a whisper, “but that wasn’t what I was going to ask~”
For the third time Yuuko was caught off guard. Ai put some distance between them before speaking, though not as much as before.
“Yuuko…you feel different from others……so if I asked you, would you come with me?”
“…Ai……?”
“It’s part of the reason I confessed……if I asked you to come with me, would you?”
“Go where…?”
“A place without the world…” she admitted with a wistful, melancholic smile. “…somewhere far away.”
With those words, he understood.
“This is about your work…isn’t it?”
Her same forlorn smile answered his question, but there was a tint of something different behind her eyes. One that didn’t match the expression she wore.
“If it’s with you, I think I can find it again. I thought I could get it by doing something as simple as giving gifts to others, but now I think the way I feel about you is how I can find it again!”
The desperation in her voice translated through her body, as she pushed against him, desperate to be even a centimeter closer to the boy in front of her.
“H-Hey, Ai, hold on!”
“Please, please say yes! You don’t even need to respond right now, and we don’t even need to start off as lovers!”
“Ai-you’re pushing me too much!”
“So long as we can be alone, so long as you let me go somewhere with you to find what I—!”
“Ai!”
With a surprising amount of force, Yuuko held Ai by her shoulders firmly in front of him; her eyes were wide, though whether from shock or another feeling he didn’t know.
“We almost fell.” he said, lowering his arms and motioning behind him; to her lack of surprise, he was right. Had she kept pushing, they’d have undoubtedly fallen.
“O-Oh, Yuuko, I-I’m sorry I- hmph—!”
Even in the brightness of the turquoise and white waters, a scarlet red color spread through Ai’s cheeks, and across her nose.
“Please don’t worry about it,” he said, removing the finger he placed over her lips, “we’re both okay, that’s all that matters.”
“If…you say so~” she said, trying for her normal, teasing tone. Yuuko simply nodded in response as the two stood centimeters away from the still water.
The world felt unnaturally still to Ai, a result that came from letting the lingering feelings in her body speak to the boy in front of her. In a way, it was embarrassing; it was the first time she’d acted in such a way, even amongst her clients.
And it made her smile.
She pulled a closed fist to her chest, feeling the blood pulse throughout her heart and body— to be embarrassed is a symptom. And if she has symptoms, perhaps then, she wasn’t wrong in believing the boy in front of her to be her answer.
“U-Umm, sorry again.” she said, speaking more to the bricks beneath her than the boy. “Like I mentioned, you don’t need to give me your answer right now but…I would really like for you to think about it.”
She didn’t dare meet his eyes, but her curiosity got the better of her. She blinked her gaze up towards Yuuko, moving by a fraction of centimeter each time before finally seeing his face.
And to her surprise and admitted disappointment, he wasn’t looking at her.
“This really is a beautiful place,” he said with his eyes on the stone bridge above them, “but I don’t really like it.”
She tried blinking the confusion away.
“Why…is that?”
“You can’t see the sky.” He said, golden eyes finally fixed on her own. “Somehow it makes it feel like you can’t connect to the world around you.”
“……………”
“Ai?”
“……you’re right………um, I should get going.”
She made her way towards the stone stairs, tucked away against the wall, before something reached out and took hold of her arm.
“Oh my; Yuuko if you wanted me to stay all you had to do was ask nicely~”
“Where are you going?”
“Back to my dorm, silly~” though she tried, it was the first time since she began compensated dating that her words and tone didn’t match up in the slightest.
“Before you go, do you have some time to spare?”
Her expression spoke for itself, downcast eyes telling him he was allowed to continue—
“You said you wanted to go someplace, so let me take you there.”
—until her gaze was wide in disbelief.
“Let me take you somewhere far away.”
Part 2
“Are we almost there?”
“We are,” he said, pocketing his phone after touching the screen a few more times. “Sorry about that, I honestly haven’t had a great track record with directions.”
If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.
“Oh my, the type that gets lost easily, how cute~”
He let out an amused sigh. “I’m not bad with directions, but finding things isn’t my speciality.”
“No, that would be people wouldn’t it?”
The silence answered her question as the boy walking next to her grew another one of his smiles. Yes, that’s something she’d always observed about him— he wouldn’t ever smile the way others did. Smiles are an expression of joy, of happiness. But those weren’t the kind he wore. If anything, it seemed like his was simply a response to show feeling, empathy maybe? When she saw it, it didn’t feel like the tint of a bright summer noon like most people wore.
Instead, it was more like an early autumn sunrise, where the world was tinted in a color between the fading blue and dawning yellow.
“Ai, could you do me a favor?”
“Of course I can!” she said louder than she intended. She bit her lip, embarrassed at having been caught off guard. “I’m sorry, I was just thinking about something.”
He smiled in response. “Could you walk over on this side please?” He gestured to his left, the area between himself on the many shops that lined the shopping district they were walking through.
Though it was nearly ten at night, a large number of people were still roaming about the area, coming and going from restaurants, stores, or like them, heading towards a destination. Ai was shocked at first to see such a thing, but with time it became a natural state to her, and though the street they were cutting across wasn’t particularly heavy with foot traffic, keeping to the sidewalk could still prove a small challenge.
“Hmm~? Could it be you’re afraid of losing me in this crowd?”
“Aah, I actually hadn’t thought of that, but that side is closer to the street so…” he trailed off, scratching the back of his head with a wry smile.
She didn’t understand his meaning, but obliged, happy that it at least sounded like he cared for her well-being.
“Is there something bad about being closer to the street?”
“Not exactly, it’s just something I was taught when I was young.”
Soon, as with their small conversation, the crowd around them faded away, leaving nothing but small brickwork and quaint homes to replace the bustling stores and bright advertisements.
“Say, you still haven’t told me exactly where we’re going.”
“It’d be easier to show you, since calling it my dorm might be confusing.”
“Your…dorm?”
Her steps slowed to a halt as Yuuko approached a rustic two story apartment building; though calling it a building might’ve been too generous. It looked as though it were only recently renovated to a bare minimum standard; how long had this been here?
“You live here?” she asked, following the boy inside. To her relief, the inside proved to be in much better shape, not to mention how everything looked cleaner and more organized. Soon, however, she found herself frowning at her thoughts. She didn’t particularly mind dirtier places, she cleaned quite a bit at home after all, so maybe it was the shock of seeing him live so far away from school?
“It’s a bit of a long story, but I was accepted into Mirror kind of late and in an odd way.” he said, taking off his shoes. “All the first year dorms were already taken, and this was the only place they had left.”
“Oh……ooohhhhh!” Ai said, bringing her hands together and rushing towards the unprepared boy. “Yuuko, you must be pretty amazing for the school to have made an exception this big, that’s so cool!”
“N-No, it was more…”
“What did you do?! Are you like some kind of super genius? HUA!”
“Are you alright!?” he said, panicking from her sudden and loud gasp.
“Th-That makes sense! When I read about body language, I also read that super geniuses are observant of their surroundings— that must be why you’re always writing in your notebook!”
“Ai, I think you’re convincing yourself of that more than anything.” he said with a defeated expression.
“Ehhhh?” she cried, waving her fists up and down at dangerous speeds. “But you being a super genius sounds so much cooler! Can’t you pretend to be?”
“I really don’t think I could pull that off.”
“Hmm……be a lot more fun if you could~~” she pouted, following him into what looked like a bedroom.
He offered a dry smile, unsure if she was complimenting or teasing him. “Everyone here attends through some sort of scholarship right? You have to do pretty well academically to get one, so I don’t think I’d be able to pull it off.”
“Oh……you too?”
“Hmm?”
“No-Nothing! Nothing at all, ehehehe~” She quickly rose, ignoring the studious eyes that followed her as she walked around his room.
She didn’t know what to expect from someone like Yuuko, but somehow his room didn’t surprise her in the least. A small wooden desk sat in front of the unusually large window, letting in faint traces of the lights from across the street. The walls were hung with nothing but the paint left from its original creation, and besides the twin-sized bed and dark wooden wardrobe, there was almost nothing left to call her attention.
Almost.
“Your ‘dorm’ is more than a ways from campus, Yuuko.” Although she said his name, it felt more like she was speaking to the air, or more accurately, to the single bookshelf that lined the entire wall in front of her. “Is it possible this is where you wanted to take me~?”
Her eyes narrowed dangerously as they met his own, and for the first time since he met her, for a single moment he felt it impossible to meet her gaze.
He walked to her side, tracing his finger along the spines of the worn books nestled comfortably in the chipped bookshelf.
“You read a lot, don’t you?”
He was thankful he was able to catch her off guard enough that her lulling gaze broke, replaced by surprised eyebrows that soon turned into a defeated smile, finally paving the way for legitimate laughter.
“If you were to tell anybody else about their habits, you’d be accused of being a stalker little Yuu~”
“Little Yuu?”
“Hmm…you’re right, it doesn't fit well. I’ll keep thinking of something else to call you~”
“I’d rather you didn’t,” he sighed, “but more importantly, you mentioned it earlier; about body language, and about heart rate.”
The lack of an answer caused him to turn towards her.
“Oh my,” she said, hands to her cheeks, “to think you were paying that much attention…”
“I guess it’s all in the observation.”
“Should I call you my stalker~?” she said, poking him in the ribs, “that seems much more appropriate.”
“That’d cause more than a handful of problems so I’d rather you didn’t.”
She covered her mouth with both hands, furiously giggling into them.
“Th-Then why do you read so much Mister Not My Stalker?”
Her spouts of laughter gradually disappeared upon seeing the warmth coming from Yuuko’s face. It wasn’t sympathy, nor pity, no.
Longing?
“I wanted to ask you the same thing.”
But longing for what?
“Oh……I see………”
The same thing she does?
“Shouldn’t………you already have an idea though?”
“I need to hear you say it…I think.”
She couldn’t meet his eyes, or look anywhere else in the room. She already admitted it by the river, what was the point of him hearing it again? To remind himself of what it is she actually does at these hours?
She felt something warm trickle down the side of her lips, but in trying to wipe it away, the only thing she felt was dry skin. She felt an urge in her stomach that wanted to make her heave.
“I-I’m sorry Yuuko—” she said, brushing past him, “I should go after all. I don’t belong—!”
Warmth. Burning warmth spread throughout her left hand, travelling up her arm and calming the senses in her that wanted to make her spastic.
“I’m sorry if I’m keeping you,” he said with that same warm look. “I know it’s selfish, but if you don’t mind I want to show you the reason I brought you here.”
Her brown eyes revealed the discomposure she felt when, after some tens of seconds had passed, she realized he was waiting for her response.
“T-That’s okay I……I don’t need to be anywhere else.”
“So you agreed to come on one of your only days off?” he said, slightly tilting his head. “I see, it means a lot to me you’d do something like that. Thank you Ai.”
Her face burned at the sight of his gently smiling face, on top of stumbled through a retort while being led away, back to the bookshelf.
“Do you know what all these are?” he asked, finally releasing her hand.
“O-Of course not,” she said, crossing her arms and refusing to meet the boy’s eyes. “I haven’t seen any of the covers, and the titles on the spines are too small.”
“What’s your favorite fairytale?”
She blinked once to process the sudden words, then twice more as she met his gaze— face still flushed with color. Her tone in asking, however, was sincere.
“Fairytale?”
Yuuko nodded. “Did you ever read any as a child?”
“Fairytales……actually I………I remember reading a few as a kid, but most of the ones I know come from reading them to my siblings.”
“Like bedtime stories?”
“They’d sometimes want me to read them the same story twice in a row,” she said, recalling the memory with a smile. “It’s funny to talk about now, but so frustrating back then.”
“Hmm, I see,” he said, leaning his head to one side. “What a kind older sister.”
“Are you making fun of me!?” she said, straightening her arms beneath her. “Is this payback?! Is this payback for calling you a stalker?!”
“More so the ‘Little Yuu’ part.”
“Why do you remember everything I say!?”
“Because I’m your stalker.”
She reached out, standing on her toes to verbally berate him, close to his face. He raised his hands in defeat, repeating an apology that didn’t quite register within her.
He feels……so warm.
The closeness the two of them had in that moment…she felt a spring of lightness in her chest……joy? But beneath that, for the first time in years, she felt instinct claw its way through her muscles. She was close, terribly close to him already.
She wanted to be even closer.
“……Ai?”
“HUah! N-Nothing, umm…sorry……”
“No no, I should be apologizing, I didn’t mean to tease you so much.”
“No it’s………don’t worry about it.”
“So..what was it?”
“Hmm? What was what?”
He smiled awkwardly, as if expecting her confusion.
“Sorry, I guess you didn’t hear me with all the teasing. I asked about your siblings,” he said, putting a palm to the spine of the books. “Did they have a favorite story?”
“Oh, right right,” she said, breathing in to regain her composure. “Umm…between the three of them, they all liked different things so it’s a little hard to tell…”
“Aah, that makes sense. In that case, were there any that all three enjoyed?”
“I don’t think……actually, thinking about it…” She stared at the ceiling with a finger to her lips, blinking slowly, as if afraid to interrupt her thought process. “Hmmm…they all really seemed to like the story about the Ugly Duckling.”
Yuuko couldn't help a faint smile. “I can’t say I expected that. How come?”
A familiar red began tinting her face as she ran her finger across the wooden shelf. “It’s embarrassing to say out loud, but—” Turning to meet him, Yuuko could see her downturned eyes. It didn’t match the smile or blush on her expressional face. “—they said it’s because they want to grow up pretty like ‘their big sister’.”
He crossed his arms, the faint smile on his face growing just a little clearer. “You don’t seem that embarrassed about it.”
“Isn’t there a saying about appearances being misleading?”
“Adages— and there are quite a few.”
Whereas the air between them was heavy with feeling not a few minutes prior, it settled into a warmth Ai couldn't quite place. It was as if they’d been together for a long time. Familiar with one another’s company.
With her clients, it took her the better part of six months to properly learn how to create an atmosphere— whether seductive, peaceful, or professional. Just as there exists tints created by the sun, so too, are there different atmospheres, tints, people could feel. While there wasn’t any worrying tension between the two, it was still their first time having a proper conversation.
And because of that, the fact this boy knew how to create such an aura, such an environment, such a tint, despite the two never having properly spoken before……how did he learn such a skill?
“Do you have a favorite?”
“A favorite story?” he asked, browsing the myriad of books. “There are a lot I really like, but if I had to pick one……”
He pulled on the spine of a book thicker than all the others. Turning it around and handing it to her, she was immediately struck by how old it looked. The pages were soft on the sides, the years having caught up with them, while the art on the cover appeared faded, especially near the borders. Yet, she could still clearly make out the art, children on a snowy landscape, a witch behind them, and a lion overlooking them all.
“It’s about a group of siblings sent to another world to save it,” he said, having seen the puzzled expression on her face. “I’ve had it since I was young, so I’ve read it a few times.”
“Only a few~?” she said, raising a suspicious eyebrow at a tear that went down at least half a page.
“Guilty as charged.” he said, raising his hands in defeat, causing a laugh to escape Ai’s lips. “When I was little, if I was having a bad day, I’d try reading the story.”
“And it made you feel better?”
“It made me feel like I was somewhere far away,” he explained to the girl whose mouth was slightly agape from his response. “Somewhere I could be better. Somewhere the world didn’t hurt so much.”
Ai was silent for some time, hugging the book to her chest while looking at the hardwood floor; Yuuko was surprised to see she didn’t break her silence with words.
But with a smile towards.
“I see.” she nearly whispered. “What a wonderful way to confront the world.”
“……Ai…?”
“Yes?”
“Why……are you always smiling?”
Her eyes strained to match the smile on her lips. And they just couldn’t seem to reach.
“One day, about six months after I started seeing people, I broke down crying” she began while moving towards the bed, taking a seat on the very edge. “It was a…difficult day. So I did the only other thing I knew how to do well— reading up on fun little facts.”
As she spoke, Yuuko took a seat next to her, careful not to take up much room on the already small frame.
“Yuuko, did you know that physical reactions can have an effect on your mental and emotional reactions?”
“I’m…not sure I understand.”
“For example,” she said, slowly placing the fantasy story still in her arms onto the floor below. Her hands were now free to point to either side of her face.
Specifically, her lips.
“Did you know that by smiling, even if you’re angry or sad, you can trick your brain into thinking you’re happy?”
“I—”
“Your brain feels your body smiling, so it thinks you must be happy. Because you’re smiling.”
Using the pinkies on both her hands, Ai slowly lifted up the corners of her mouth.
“Is there any reason I shouldn’t smile, Yuu~?”
“If you’re not looking for happiness……there is.”
For a moment, she did nothing, her posture unmoving alongside her gaze. And slowly, unlike the corners of her lips, her fingers fell to her side. “There you go again, saying things like that” she said, eyes narrowing dangerously. “I must be a very lucky girl if you’ve watched over me enough to tell I’m always smiling~”
She inched closer to him, which on the already small frame of the bed, was a dangerous amount of distance.
“Ai, I—”
He didn’t finish speaking before a small gasp forced its way out of her, not a surprised or painful one, but one that came as a result of her hand colliding with the plastic cover of a tall rectangle.
“A book?”
“Aah, sorry about that. I was reading it earlier and forgot to put it up.”
“Is this…a rabbit?”
A sigh of relief escaped Yuuko, which he hoped the girl examining the book didn’t hear.
“It’s called ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’. It’s not a popular story in Japan, but the more I’ve read it, the more I’ve come to like it.”
“What…is it about?”
“A boy who receives a velveteen rabbit as a gift.”
He slipped the book out of her hands and into his own, more than aware of the girl clinging to his side as she peered into the pages of the story opening before them. Sounds of turning pages filled the room with Yuuko’s voice, adding detail and life to the pictures drawn along one side of the printed words.
In a way it was soothing; somehow Yuuko could tell the girl was absorbing every word from the page, spoken through his voice.
And it was that very same reason he was unnerved— she was silent, not making a single comment, not letting a single breath of laughter escape her lips. He could only feel the warm and delicate skin that touched his arm, moving with the rise and fall of her chest.
As he read, Yuuko’s head filled with thoughts that it must’ve been because of her distaste for the story. He’d only begun reading, not asking her whether or not she wanted to listen: his habit of reading fairy tales, his lack of sharing with all but one person, backfired. They’d reached the point in the story where the rabbit’s tear struck the ground before he considered stopping.
Until she told him too first.
“Ai…?”
“Yuu…” she spoke, barely audible. While her body clung tightly to his own, her eyes remained unmoving from the pages. “Why did the rabbit cry?”
“………”
“ …Yuu……?”
“……………I think he loved the boy. His owner. I think the rabbit wanted to stay beside him for as long as he could.”
“As a toy?” she asked, still staring at the book. “Or as a real rabbit?”
“Even if he was a toy, the velveteen rabbit was real.”
“Only to the boy. Because the boy was the only person who loved him.”
Yuuko could feel his body react with volatile calm. He could feel his pupils dilate, letting in as much light as possible to react to the girl who’d lifted her gaze, brushing her cheek past his own to speak directly into his ear.
“Yuu…why is it that you’ve been watching me?”
Showers of cold swept up his stomach in waves.
“I-I wanted…I wanted to……”
“Why is it that I feel so warm around you? Why do we know so much about each other despite never having spoken?”
His breath quickened as a small amount of force tugged at his arm, receding only for a moment when Ai pulled back to stare at him.
“Say, Yuu……”
He couldn't form any words. He felt the words drill into his mind, wrapping themselves around his throat.
“Am I real to you?”
Real?
The only reason she would ask such a thing……for the past two years, she hasn’t felt human.
To feel that way…something precious must have been taken from her.
But he couldn't focus on that, not for the moment. Because that wasn’t what her tone implied.
“Ai…I have……”
“Why is it that you’ve been watching me, Yuu~?” Her hands crept up his arm, gripping tighter as she spoke with lulled words. “Even if you’re a people watcher, there must’ve been something about me that called your attention. Tell me, what was it~?”
“More than once I saw you—”
“With men?” she said, momentarily stopping her body. “Yes…you’re absolutely right. I let them take me for money. But you already knew that…”
“Ai…”
“And even so, you watched me. Made notes. You didn’t advance on me nor did you spread rumors. You didn’t even report me to the teachers or the student council~”
He took a sharp breath inward as she hugged his arm tight enough to slow his circulation. His arm sank into the warmth of her soft chest, forming a noticeable impression.
“Why did you decide to meet me tonight, beneath the bridge?”
“Even if you ask me…”
“Could it be you though I would reward you the same way I do others~? Beg you to keep staying quiet in exchange for as many nights as you wanted?”
“Of course not!” he said, trying to pry his arm away from her. But that only made her cling tighter.
“No,” she said, forming a distant smile he recognized all too well, “I didn’t think so either.”
“Then why—?”
“Did you want to make me pure again— change me from my unclean ways?”
He didn’t have a chance to respond before a sudden force to his arm yanked him backwards onto the bed. His head hit the thin wall, but it didn’t hurt in the slightest. No. Instead, he blinked away the daze, clearing his vision until his eyes fluttered open to see a girl in a skin tight blouse standing at the foot of his bed, looking into his eyes.
“Did you want to save me?”
“………”
“…………”
“I……don’t know………”
Her eyes narrowed into that sultry gaze. Only this time, there was no smile.
“You don’t know hmm……but maybe I do need saving.” she said, reaching for her back. The faint sound of a zipper turned deafening in the deep silence of the room. “If it’s with you…I might be able to feel it again.”
“Ai, you’re making a mistake! I—!”
Her blouse, the pink shade of cloth that defined and hid her body so well, dropped to the floor.
What lay beneath it was now in full view to Yuuko— a light pink, floral lace bra that covered the deceptively large bust.
“Oh? No comment~?” she asked, tilting her head to the right. Her bangs slipped forward from place, covering one of her hazel eyes. “Most men would offer a compliment, it makes a girl feel better about herself you know~”
Yuuko tore his eyes away from the sight while a playful laugh reached his ears.
“Ai, put your clothes—”
“Aww, but you never answered my question Yuu~”
Yuuko’s eyes were glued to the small desk beside his bed, but that didn’t stop him from hearing the sounds of a buckle being undone, and the soft *thump* that came shortly after. He dared move his eyes from the desk to the floor, and saw a dark black skirt crumpled alongside light and dark shades of pink.
“Oh my oh my oh my~!” she giggled, “you have the mind of a boy after all~!”
He closed his eyes, furrowing his brow while quickly standing up to tear his attention away from it once more. “Ai, I’m telling you— fuaH!”
A sharp force to his chest suddenly pushed him back, causing him to land uncomfortably on the sheets and pillow behind him. He hurriedly shook off the daze, only to make eye contact with the girl who was now a breath away.
“Could it be that you’re so tempted because you’ve already felt them~?”
Goosebumps covered Yuuko’s arm at remembering the sensation, but more so because she lifted her neck up and to the side slowly after having spoken, giving him an uncensored view of the fullness of her body. She traced a finger across her milky white skin, up the side of her ample hips, her thin and delicate stomach, purposefully circling her belly button, before finally—
“Ahh~~A-aAAhHH~~!!”
“Ai—ah, s-stop! That’s-!”
“It’s okay to be nervous at first, Yuuko!” she said, gripping the hand she moved up and down, forcefully fondling her chest. Beneath his palms was the feeling of lacey fabric and plush, warm softness. Flashes of pink danced across his vision; he didn’t know if it was the bra. “You’re nervous because you don’t want me to have a child, right? Don’t worry!”
Yuuko ripped his hand away with all his strength, unsteadily pushing himself off the mattress in a rush to escape. But he didn’t have enough momentum. He found himself nearly thrown back down by the girl who threw her body at him, knocking them both onto the bed as she gripped the sides of his head.
“You don’t need to worry about a thing Yuuko! I take contraception pills— it’s why I earn as much as I do!” she pushed her bust further into Yuuko’s body— her pheromones forcing their way into him, “so feel free to use me as much as you want~! There’s no risk to either of us!”
“Ye-s, there—is!” The entirety of her body weight made it difficult for him to move— even so, he managed to retrieve a small device buried deep inside his right pocket.
And as a consequence, pushed against a very warm— and very wet— part of her body.
“aa..aHAaHH~!”
The smile on her face dissolved, replaced with an expression Yuuko wasn’t familiar with; her eyes shut tight, teeth grit together in an attempt to suppress her voice as her fingers turned into fists atop of his chest.It was at that second, for a single moment, her strength faded— pants and breaths of hot air tickled his skin— and her grip loosened.
His mind rushed a thousand miles a minute, only registering he had mere seconds to take this chance; he violently tapped the screen on his phone before a sweet scent thrust its way into his body.
And the girl on top of him looked at him with a smile.
“Cl…Close…but that was my thigh~”
Bangs messily decorated the front of her eyes as she huffed through her words. It reminded him of a girl whose dark black hair was sprinkled with sand last month— a girl whose hair also covered her eyes. Because she’d tried to catch him and fell.
“Move your hand a little to your left next time and you’ll hit the spot Mr. Stalker~~” strength returned to her limbs as she gripped the wrist holding the phone. “Oh~? I didn’t know you were so lewd, wanting to record a girl when she makes such a sound~”
With sloppy, yet surprisingly accurate, movements, she scooped the phone away from his hand, tossing it over her shoulder as it crashed onto the ground.
“Make me do it again and I might reconsider~”
“Ai, enough.”
“Hm~?” She covered her lips with the back of her hand as she dangled herself above him. He could feel curly strands of hair tickling his skin; in a way he was thankful for it, the sharp sensation helped ground his thinking.
“I don’t feel the same way about you. I’m sorry if I caused a misunderstanding but I…I already have feelings for someone.”
He sat there, unmoving as the hair continually brushed against his skin. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't avoid the scent of flowers and thick pheromones assaulting his sense of smell.
It smelled…good.
“Is that so?” she said, eyes narrowing. “She must be very lucky.”
“I—”
“But that’s okay~”
Yuuko couldn't hide the surprise reflected in his vision.
“What…do you mean…?”
He felt warm, gentle hands wrap themselves around his head, fingers running through his scalp as she gently adjusted his head, forcing him to look at her.
“Yuuko I……” Her lips were parted— ready to speak…or at the distance they were, something much different.
And to his surprise, she broke into a smile.
“I’m no stranger to the men I see, my clients, having another girl in their lives.”
“Is that really the reason..?”
“No.” she nearly whispered, holding her smile. “Why is it that you’ve been watching me so closely? Do you want to know what I think?”
She asked, placing a finger to his lips to prevent an answer.
“I think it’s because you must’ve felt something. Whether you know it or not.”
“That…isn’t why I made notes about you.”
“You made notes to study me,” she said, returning her grip on him while running her fingers through his hair once more, “in the same way I studied everybody in our class. I even started studying people in our grade, the entire first year building.”
“Why—?”
“I’m looking for something…was, looking for something.”
Bright, reflective brown eyes scanned him up and down. Her tongue slowly, tenderly, moistened the pink of her lips, wanting to continue.
“Do you believe in fate, Yuuko?”
“I…do.”
“I don’t. At least, I didn’t. But I’m starting to question that now.” her grip on his head slowly tightened with every word she spoke. “Why is it we’re more alike than we would've ever thought? Why did you pursue me so relentlessly, and I you? Why is it……that you showed me that book?”
He registered those last words, and Yuuko could feel the electricity coursing through his nerves.
“You don’t…feel loved?” he asked in a tight voice. “You feel like a toy?”
“Love…love is a strong word, Yuu~” she teased. “That’s why you’re wrong, it isn’t love.”
She brought herself closer to him, brushing past his cheek and blowing into the inside of his ear.
“I don’t feel like a toy…but it’s also true I don’t feel real, just like the toy.”
“Then—hnng!”
Hot air slipped into his ear, a way for Ai to tell him he wasn’t permitted to speak. Not yet.
“The Velveteen Rabbit had something with that boy,” she said, moving her head to speak softly into his other ear. “And I think, just like the two in the story, we’re meant for one another!”
“Ai, I already told you…I have somebody!”
“Then could you tell me why you’re so red in the face~?” she said, running a finger across his neck before slowly tracing it down his body. “……or why I feel something incredibly hard beneath the place you brushed moments ago?”
“That doesn't have anything to do with it, I like this girl!”
“Feelings, love, can change, Yuuko~!”
“I disagree!”
“Then let me prove it to you.” she said, parting her lips— but this time, her smile wasn’t there. A rabid look overcame her as she moved from place, a small, damp circle darkening the pants of Yuuko’s thigh. Ai ignored it, however, as her hands worked to remove Yuuko’s belt— before he could even protest, her expert movements had already flung it to the side, causing a loud *crash* as it hit against the bookshelf.
“Ai, wait—!”
“Love can change Yuuko, I’ll prove it to you!”
“Stop!”
“I’ll prove that there can exist something between us, I’ll show you a place you can go to together!”
“Enough!”
It was in that exact moment, when Yuuko pushed against her shoulders with all his might, pushed her away from him, that a loud crash came from the front of his dorm.
Small chips of wood could be seen flying into the kitchen, as something that sounded like metal dropped to the wooden floor; and sure enough, a shining piece of silver slid across the floor into sight.
“Is that…a hinge?” asked the girl whose grip was tight to Yuuko’s clothes.
Footsteps echoed from the doorway and into the room both were in.
They belonged to a girl with incredibly long, black hair, shining turquoise-green eyes, and a red ribbon tied around her wrist.
“You have until the count of three to let him go—”
She spoke eerily calm...but her eyes.
Her eyes were everything but.
“—or I’ll put you down like the rabid dog you are.”