Diplomacy by Other Means
As dawn broke upon the fair city of Unicornia, a regal-looking unicorn mare with a light lavender coat and shimmering platinum mane trotted through the city’s center with a purpose. The day’s first light shimmered upon the silver crown upon her brow.
All was quiet and peaceful, a perfectly tranquil day upon the hallowed halls of Unicornia. That is, if one were to ignore the full throng of nervous and prattling ponies hounding the mare’s every step.
“I assure you, everything is well in hoof. There is no need for undue worry,” Princess Platinum lied through her teeth to the throng of worried nobles who seemed keen on asking her the very same questions everypony had been repeatedly asking her for the past few days, as though doing so one more time would magically make her now have the answers they so desperately sought when she hadn’t five minutes before! “Now if you could excuse us, there are important matters that need our attention.”
Sadly, several nobles seemed to simply not get the hint that that was their cue to take their leave from her august presence. Much to the contrary, they appeared to be preparing themselves for a new round of pointless questioning. However, thankfully, as the armored unicorn soldiers escorting her closed ranks around her person while glaring at the annoyances, they promptly seemed to remember they also had urgent matters elsewhere and scattered.
For a blessed moment, once more all was quiet on the dawning morning. Nothing but the sound of her own hoof-steps and those of her guard breaking the tranquility of the early day in her beautiful city.
And yet, only her long years of lessons in proper conduct and decorum allowed her to hold back the very tired and aggravated sigh she could feel lodged in her throat. Or prevented her from massaging her brow with her hoof in a vain attempt to fight back the headache she was currently sporting. But, alas, she was in public. And, as heir to the unicorn throne, she had an image to maintain.
No matter how much she wanted to toss the stupid useless annoyances that refused to accept that she didn’t know what the buck was happening as an answer from the top of the Celestial Tower!
While highly therapeutic, as heiress to the throne that would not be a proper way to conduct herself.
Taking one very deep breath, Princess Platinum tried to center herself before continuing on her path. Her escort followed her every step while keeping a keen eye on their surroundings. Normally she would scoff at such brutish measures, especially at the heart of Unicornia. Normally the mere thought that anything could be a threat to her here would be a ridiculous proposition. But these were not normal times. And with Hurricane and a whole platoon of pegasus warriors currently within the city… well better safe than sorry.
She did not believe that Hurricane and his lot would be so boorish and barbaric as to violate guest rights. But everypony knew that pegasi were a volatile lot more often than not, ruled by their emotions and prone to brash actions at the best of times. And so, here she was, being escorted everywhere by ten fully armed soldiers, which in turn meant that her alone time and chances to drop her royal visage and relax had long since disappeared.
Oh, how she wished she could smack some sense into her younger self! How eagerly she had wanted the crown! Only, soon after her father’s passing did she discover that the very shiny circlet was a near-constant source of headaches! And that was before the world had decided to go mad!
The weather was changing without the brutish touch of the pegasi. The celestial spheres were moving without the masterful touch of the unicorns! What next? Plants growing without the steady hooves of the earth ponies? Madness, pure madness!
Nothing like it had ever happened in recorded history! And yet, somehow, the entirety of the court believed she should have the answers to said madness!
Fighting back another aggravated sigh, Princess Platinum watched the sun rising higher into the sky. A hint of relief made itself known as nothing seemed to go wrong with the celestial spheres’ movement on this morn.
Re-centering herself, she continued towards the plaza that contained both Star Swirl’s and the Celestial Council’s towers. Her eyes locked upon the arch mage’s home. Her destination.
With any luck, she would have some answers soon. Star Swirl had been locked away researching the situation for the past couple of days. And while the old arch mage’s manners left much to be desired, nopony could deny his skill and intellect. Star Swirl would certainly have some answers by now!
He had to have some answers by now!
Crushing the part of her mind that questioned what she would do if he didn’t have any answers, she gave the briefest of nods to the guards standing at their posts by the tower’s entrance. Once more, she noted, with quite a bit of annoyance, that the normal honor guard of a mere two unicorns that used to stand watch upon the arch mage’s tower was now a full score of soldiers. The same had happened for the Celestial Tower.
Truly, these were brutish times.
But before anypony could announce her presence and her reasons to visit the arch mage, as was correct and proper, a blue flash made itself known right next to her group.
She had a moment to take in the white-coated mare with a lustrous golden mane that had appeared but a few hooves away, before her very high-strung guards surged into action. The two closest unicorns immediately rushed towards the unknown with weapons drawn while the others closed ranks around her august self in a defensive formation.
For a brief moment, she fought the nearly overwhelming urge to facehoof, as her far too overeager guards caused a scene by attacking a mage that had simply teleported to the plaza not knowing the Princess and her entourage were there at that exact same moment. But shock replaced her annoyance as with a lightning quick flash of blue magic both charging guards were on the ground snoring, clearly unconscious.
“What?” she found herself muttering, taken aback by the situation. But alas that moment of confusion was all that was necessary for the situation to devolve even further. For, without any orders from their Princess to say otherwise, her remaining guards alongside the ones guarding the entrance to the tower surged forth to neutralize the unknown mare that had just downed two of their number.
The urge to facehoof grew by the moment, she saw a full score of highly trained unicorn soldiers both charge and unleash a hail of mana bolts against a single mare who appeared to be carrying but a simple if odd sword upon her side, acting as if this was a full-blown attack by an entire pegasus legion.
Making a mental note to get a healer to see to the mare’s health afterwards, and perhaps get her a fruit basket as an apology, Platinum fought to keep the mask of her regal visage intact as she waited for this stupidity to come to an end, as the very overeager guards contained the unlucky interloper with a show of excessive force that would make that brash oaf Hurricane proud.
Only, that was not what happened.
Weaving amidst the mana bolts with incredible grace and poise, an annoyed frown on her muzzle the only sign of any kind of exertion on her part, the mare dodged the magical assault as if it was nothing. The next moment, the mare appeared amidst the four guards that had chosen to close in instead of attacking with magic. And before Princess Platinum could even blink, four more of her guards were on the floor snoring.
As shouts resounded amidst the plaza, and the score of soldiers guarding the entrance to the Celestial Council tower rushed to the aid of their brethren trying and failing to deal with the unknown mare. As could have been foreseen, she was now amidst their number and swiftly rendering them unconscious one after another with startling swiftness, despite the continuous magic barrage her now heavily panicking guards were unleashing. Unfortunately for them, there was no apparent effect save heavily destroying the beautiful plaza as small craters started forming all around.
A golden glow appeared by her side and her trusted aide all but shoved her into the arch mage’s tower, making her, very confused and perplexed, royal-self stumble in a most unseemly manner. As Clover slammed the doors closed before she could speak a single word and with a golden glow the locks were firmly shut, leaving Princess Platinum suddenly alone upon the entry hall of the tower.
As she simply sat there on the polished marble floor, Princess Platinum, ruler of all unicorns, succumbed to the urge to face-hoof as she decided that the world had, indeed, gone mad.
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Shaking off the annoying snowflakes that kept falling upon his muzzle, Ganondorf watched as the large group of earth ponies kept trudging down the road towards Unicornia. His keen eyes searched for any issue or trouble that would have to be dealt with, an irritated frown upon his visage.
Nothing of note made itself known, but that did little to calm his fraying temper.
“The caravan is making good time, if we keep this pace we should be able to reach the walls of Unicornia by sunset.” The voice of Old Oak reached the Wielder of Power’s ears. The old stallion calmly climbed the small hill Ganondorf was using as a lookout platform. The pale light of the sun made the purple gem he was wearing as protection against the cold tinge his light-brown coat in a myriad of colors for an instant.
Ganondorf, for his part, merely grunted in agreement. The earth ponies were in fact making pretty decent time. The sturdy equines pushed and pulled loads that would make even Gorons nod in appreciation as if it was nothing while keeping a steady mile-eating pace. In fact, normally Ganondorf would be quite pleased if one of his armies made such a showing.
And yet, he couldn’t help but inwardly glower. Things that normally wouldn’t even faze the Wielder of Power were now prickling him as if annoying bug bites, poking and probing at his temper.
“Pardon me if I’m intruding where I’m not wanted,” Old Oak calmly stated, standing by Ganondorf’s side as his eyes watched the large exodus of earth ponies passing by. Most of them either carried loads themselves or pulled massive carts filled to the brim with preserved foodstuffs. “But if you would allow this old one some words?”
“Shouldn’t you be making sure your ‘senators’ aren’t doing something stupid instead?” the large stallion gruffly questioned in lieu of an answer, also not looking at the old stallion by his side.
“Hardly, you cowed them far too efficiently for that to be needed at the moment. Give it a couple of days before they start forgetting the lesson and then ask me that again,” Old Oak jovially replied with a laugh, before turning his eyes towards Ganondorf. “And I do note you did not answer my question. If you desire solitude instead, all you have to do is say so.”
For a long moment, Ganondorf considered doing just that, telling the old timer to simply scram and leave him be, so he could keep trying to manage his temper in peace. But in the end, the fact that Old Oak was one of the most reasonable and world-savvy ponies he had met in this land made him reconsider it. Who knew, maybe the old timer wanted to ask something actually relevant or that Ganondorf had missed.
Always allow your minions to report fully. That was something that Ganondorf had learned personally through some humiliating defeats to the Kid that could have been easily avoided if he had just listened.
“Fine, what is it?” he brusquely stated after another moment, turning to face the old stallion properly.
“Do you need some assistance?” Old Oak casually asked, as if simply asking about the weather.
“What?” Ganondorf asked in befuddlement, eyes blinking in surprise, caught off guard by the sincere question by the old earth pony.
“It is clear to these old eyes that there is a heavy load burdening you as of late, Ganondorf,” Old Oak stated with a small smile on his muzzle. “You may be able to hide it from the others, but I can see that you grow more restless and your emotions quicker to ignite with each passing day.
“There may be nothing I can do to help. But on the off chance that I can, why not ask?” Old Oak continued in the same calm tone of voice, giving Ganondorf a small smile before turning back to face the moving crowds down the hill. “After all, simply sharing what troubles you is already a way to lighten the load.”
For a moment, Ganondorf simply did not know how to react. And before his growing temper could make him snap an answer, a bouncing yellow blur appeared between him and Old Oak, distracting his thoughts.
“Are you having a problem? If so Old Oak is right and you should allow us to help you!” Singing Blossom happily questioned, an adorable look of worry briefly appearing on her muzzle before being banished by a beaming smile as she bounced all around the two ponies. “I really should have noticed that you were having a problem, what with how your face is all scrunchy like when you are all by yourself! Big sis always makes a funny face just like you are doing right now when she is having a problem!
“And she also does silly stuff like that and refuses to share her problems too! Which is really silly, because how can we help her with them if she won’t tell us about the problems in the first place! So if you’re having a problem you should really tell us!”
For another moment, Ganondorf simply stared at the happy yellow filly looking at him with her big adorable eyes as she bounced around. It took a moment to shake off the part of his mind that noted that the little one was getting really good at using the Kid’s little tricks for moving around unnoticed.
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Taking a very deep breath, Ganondorf leashed his anger and annoyance with the ease of long practice and answered to his attentive little audience. “I’m doing fine, Squirt, don’t worry about it.”
“Are you sure, because you don’t look fine. Or if this is you looking fine, then you were looking better than fine before. And since that is better than how you are now, shouldn’t that be you being fine? Though, I could be wrong, so I don’t know,” Singing simply replied, actually stopping moving around to rest a hoof under her chin as she thought about it.
“Yeah, I’m sure little one. Just had a restless night. Nothing for you to worry about.” And he was even telling the truth! In fact, his new norm was pummeling Demise’s Curse into submission night after night.
It was just an annoying time waster. Nothing to be worried about.
“Okay then! But if you suddenly feel less than fine let me know! Old Oak showed me last summer how to make this herbal tea that really helps you feel filled with energy! It is a really great way to feel better than fine! It is really, really neat! Though for some reason both mom, big sis, and Old Oak said that I couldn’t have any more of it after I tried it once! It was really odd!”
“I’m sure it is, Squirt,” he simply replied with a small smile, his mood actually improving a bit due to the little one’s antics. That was helped by the fact that upon hearing the filly’s words Old Oak acquired a slightly haunted expression. The Wielder of Power heard the old stallion mutter the words ‘never again’ under his breath.
“Well, I’m off then! Limelight may need some more gems, so I’m going to check with him! But do remember to tell us if you really have a problem so we can help! See you later!”
“Ah, the eagerness of youth,” Old Oak happily mused as they watched the filly hurry downhill. Then he too started to follow after her. “But there is something to be said about the sincerity of the young ones. I will stop bothering you, but please do keep it in mind.
“A burden shared is a burden halved,” the old timer stated without looking back, leaving Ganondorf to his peace and quiet.
As they disappeared amidst the throng of ponies, so did Ganondorf’s smile. With an aggravated scoff, he inwardly grumbled about the damned Curse. The thing was really acting up these past few nights. And while it was nothing he couldn’t handle, spending most of what should have been his rest time pummeling the idiotic annoyance into submission night after night was a very aggravating affair.
Demise’s Curse was the stupid demon god’s hatred made manifest. That was all that the thing was. Fury, wrath, and anger given form and a semblance of a mind. And as such it was simply impossible to coerce or cower the thing into submission. It simply is not possible to frighten something that is only able to feel anger, and as such the only way to keep the thing down is to restrain it with force.
And that was easily said than done, for the very spiteful unlamented demon god had pulled no stops upon creating his very final fuck you to existence at large.
Sharing the burden, what nonsense. Ganondorf scoffed at the notion as he decided to go down himself in order to make sure nothing was amiss.
And yet, even as he dismissed the words, the fact remained that a seed had been planted deep within his mind.
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“It is clear the phenomenon is caused by an external magical source, residues of said magic being amply evident to the trained eye upon close inspection,” Star Swirl the Bearded clearly dictated to the floating quill grasped within his silver magical aura. It continued writing down his thoughts as he examined the readings several unicorn mages had taken of the unusual cold weather plaguing Unicornia’s surroundings. “And it’s also clear to the trained eye that said source is completely different from the usual weather magic employed by the pegasi.”
The fact that said point had to be noted down was quite disheartening. As far as the Arch Mage was concerned, a half-decent magical practitioner should be able to tell that was so at a glance. The fact that over two-thirds of the mages he had sent to collect said readings hadn’t been able to do so said quite dire things about the level of skill of this new batch of mages.
Huffing in annoyance, Star Swirl shelved his disappointment with the younger generation for another day and refocused on the task at hoof. It was clear that his expectations for what passed for magical practitioners nowadays would have to be lowered even further, that was all.
“This magic is unlike anything recorded within our libraries, creating the strong possibility of a hitherto completely unknown species being its cause,” he continued, setting aside the scroll he had been perusing and activating a crystal aetheric recorder that had been used to record the unique magical wavelength of the unknown magic at work. “What can be concluded is that the magic seems to have two main objectives: To lower the surrounding temperatures, and to create a channel that seems to be carrying some form of magical energy towards the north.
“The magical energy is also something that has not yet been recorded within Unicornia’s hallowed halls of knowledge.”That last part particularly irked him. The largest gathering of lore and knowledge in the known world, and all it could tell him about the current situation was the equivalent of a shrugging of one shoulder and saying it was magic.
He could have gotten the same result in a fraction of the time by asking a common farmer the same question. Quite irksome.
“The reason for said channeling of magical energy is yet unk-“ the grey-coated unicorn continued to say, only for the door to his studio to be slammed open. The loud banging noise caused a long uneven line to appear upon the scroll as the quill wildly slid to the side, marring his perfectly taken notes.
“Star Swirl, you have to do something!” the grating and quite unwelcome voice of the heiress to the unicorn throne shouted as she invaded his up to this point peaceful study. The old mage let out an aggravated sigh as he lifted his eyes upwards in search of strength.
Those useless idiots that called themselves soldiers of Unicornia planted at the entrance to his tower like silly ornaments had one job! To stop people from barging into his residence unannounced! And yet here Platinum was doing just that. Clearly, he had been giving them far too much credit, which, considering how useless he considered them to be, was quite a depressing thought.
“Greetings your Highness, what reason have you to harm my door hinges this lovely morn?” the Arch Mage ‘cordially’ asked, inwardly bemoaning the fact he had promised King Bullion he would keep the position of Arch Mage and aid his daughter after the old king’s passing.
Lowering his eyes to take in the lavender-coated form of his monarch, Star Swirl couldn’t help but blink at the princess’ disheveled appearance. Normally the very picture of poise and grace, the usually perfectly immaculate princess looked instead as if someone had forcefully shoved her around. Her mane was in disarray with strands poking in odd directions, the royal mantle was covered in dust, and her platinum crown rested askew upon her brow.
Quite odd.
“Arch Mage, are you even listening to my words!?” the mare screeched, looking quite incensed as she had taken the time he had been gathering his thoughts to cross the distance between them. And Clover was nowhere in sight to serve as an appropriate distraction, what a bother.
“But of course your highness,” Star Swirl lied through his teeth without missing a beat, calmly fixing his hat and making the bells upon it merrily jingle in a cacophony of noise.
The light eye-twitch on the princess’ visage was quite gratifying. Placing the myriad of bells on his magician’s hat on a whim a few decades back had been one of his best decisions to date, for they never failed to annoy several nobles at court with their constant jingling.
“Star Swirl, there is an unknown war mage soundly trouncing several of my idiot soldiers right outside your tower. And now Clover has gotten involved with the mess too! Do something!” Princess Platinum slowly and clearly enunciated each word, before simply shouting the final part. Which, rude. They were standing but hooves apart.
Yet, now that the silencing wards around his studio were no longer working properly due to the slammed open door, Star Swirl could indeed hear quite a ruckus coming from outside his tower. Though, while there were quite a few yells of frustration and shock, and plenty of noise correlated to magic being cast, there were no accompanying noises of pain to indicate a ‘trouncing’ was happening.
His curiosity now piqued, and now having a ready-made excuse to not linger around the very annoyed-looking princess, Star Swirl teleported outside with a silver flash. His wards allowed him through with no hesitation. And besides, even if it was nothing of interest, at least by the princess’ words Clover was there too. So, at the very least he could shove dealing with Platinum to his faithful student.
“Well, that is not something you see every day,” Star Swirl mused as he appeared at his tower’s doorstep to a scene of controlled chaos and carefully curated violence.
Dozens of unicorn soldiers were on the ground, unconscious and snoring. Dozens more were attempting to engage a white-coated figure weaving between their pathetic attempts at spell casting with the skill and grace of a true war mage. The unicorn mare deflected, blocked, or negated every single spell that would hit either her or any of the already downed unicorns with exquisite skill. Her golden mane fluttered upon the wind, all the while she kept negligently adding more of the sorry lot to the number of their slumbering brethren with precisely controlled bursts of a beautifully crafted sleep spell.
The only pony to give her pause was his faithful apprentice. His own white-coated form was doing a passable job of dodging the mare’s sleep spells with short golden bursts of teleportation. And while the myriad of restraining spells he was shooting at her were not proving very effective, at the very least he was making her slow down for a moment to deal with his spells. The fact she also didn’t have to stop any of Clover’s spells from hitting the downed soldiers also showed that his apprentice was putting the lessons of situational awareness he had forced him to endure to good use.
As three more soldiers were knocked unconscious, Star Swirl kept watching how his apprentice dealt with a real opponent. After a few more moments, and five more downed guards, the old mage nodded once in approval.
Good, Clover’s spell work was faster and more tightly focused than it used to be. Clearly, his apprentice had been following the spell drills Star Swirl had bade him to do. However, as always, there was much room for improvement. But then again, that was always true for those who followed the path of the arcane.
To stop improving was to stop learning. There was no greater sin.
He watched the two young ones briefly trade a flurry of spell work, the exchange ending with Clover having to hastily duck with a funny noise as a spell passed inches above his green mane and four more guards ended up snoring on the ground.
Heart slightly uplifted by this proof that not all of the younger generation were an utter disgrace to the path of the arcane, Star Swirl decided it was time to intervene. The mare had been quite merciful and restrained so far, but it was a matter of time until some idiot annoyed her enough for her to take the foal gloves off. Better to prevent that from happening.
Quickly grasping and forming the necessary mana into the appropriate spell matrices, Star Swirl fired five spells in a near-instantaneous spell-chain. A teleport-blocking spell to limit her mobility. Two deflection spells to redirect his apprentice’s restraining spell the mare had just dodged back at her, and the sleeping spell she had just fired at his apprentice right back to the mare. A sleeping spell of his own to further box her in. And a little something he had recently cooked up that amounted to an explosion of light and sound that was highly disorienting but caused no real damage.
Their opponent had been courteous enough to cause no lasting harm, there was no reason not to answer in kind.
The next moment, Star Swirl found himself smiling in appreciation. The mare had promptly fired a spell-chain of her own in retaliation. Two counterspells to nullify his final spell and Clover’s restraining one. Two redirecting spells to guide the sleeping spells right towards a few of the still-standing guards. And a very interesting twist in which she altered his anti-teleportation spell so that it would focus directly upon Clover and Clover alone.
Quite well done.
Excitement pumping through his veins, Star Swirl started casting properly. Spell-chain after spell-chain were fired and countered. Redirections and reflection, counter-spells and nullifications. All of it flew through the air in the time most spell casters would take to fire a single fireball.
With a smile firmly on his muzzle, Star Swirl upped the ante even further, showing to all and sundry why exactly no one had bothered to even attempt to challenge him for the position of Arch Mage in over two decades. They both continued until the air itself was so filled with magic one could almost taste it.
And yet, the mare was still keeping up.
While quite enjoyable, the utter saturation of mana in the air was reaching a point where it would become detrimental to proper casting. Deciding it was best to ‘clear the air’ so to speak, Star Swirl started flooding raw unshaped mana into the whole mix of spells flying around, intent upon overloading and collapsing the myriad spell matrices and turning the whole convoluted mess moot. Of course, the fact that the blowback as it all imploded into inert mana would stun any spell caster still connected to any of the spells was also a nice bonus.
Only, midway through his actions, he felt the mare’s raw mana also rushing into the spell matrices. With a blink of mild surprise, he realized that she was doing the exact same thing he was intent on doing.
A smile on his lips, the Arch Mage of Unicornia stared at this unknown mare, all the while as if by a signal both of them allowed all their spell work to stop and fade. As he took in the blond-maned and white-coated mare who barely looked winded after trading spells with sublime skill and control with him of all ponies, Star Swirl felt an emotion that he had not been able to associate with another spell caster in decades.
Respect.
“Sublime work on the reflection matrix, the way you transitioned from a decahedron to an octagonal spell matrix in order to better encompass my spells was quite well done,” the grey-coated stallion conversationally stated as he fixed his cape and hat, making sure there were no wrinkles or dust marring his visage.
“Likewise, your mastery of counterspells and the intricacies needed to properly interact with varying aetheric wavelengths to best effect was quite impressive,” the mare answered in an equally cordial tone of voice. She fixed the odd sword at her side for a moment, before giving an appropriate head bow between peers. Star Swirl found himself not minding it when coming from this particular spell caster. “But where are my manners, my name is Zelda. A pleasure.”
“Star Swirl, the Bearded. And the pleasure is mine,” the old mage stated, bowing his head an equal amount. The fact there were actually still competent war mages in the younger generations, something he had all but given up hope of existing, put him in quite a good mood.
“Most excellent, for you were precisely the pony I was seeking, Arch-mage,” Zelda replied with a small smile as she started calmly trotting towards him. “I bring grave and time-sensitive news from the north, and trustworthy sources have led me to believe that bringing the information to your attention would be the best way for it to be dealt with appropriately and in a timely manner.”
“Truly? Well, let not me be the one to disappoint such a talented young one,” Star Swirl stated with a solemn nod. “What news do you bring?”
“Master, you can’t be serious!” his apprentice interjected, reminding Star Swirl that his green-maned apprentice was with them at the plaza. Turning his eyes towards the white-coated pony, Star Swirl tutted in mild disapproval upon seeing his apprentice’s disheveled form as he took deep heaving breaths, his mane in complete disarray and cloak tattered in several places.
How slovenly. In addition, apparently, the rest of the guards had fallen unconscious at some point during the invigorating spell exchange he had been having with Lady Zelda. But that was the younger generation sadly, always finding new ways to disappoint. Oh, well, since Clover was here he could at least be useful.
“You make a perfectly valid point, my young apprentice. What am I thinking? Conversing with a guest like a brute outside my tower instead of offering her proper hospitality!” the old mage harrumphed at his social faux-pas. “Clover, do be useful and prepare some tea for us. We will be in the azure lounge.”
“Master, she just knocked out over half the celestial guard!” Clover pointed out the obvious, as if Star Swirl’s eyes could not see the sorry appearance of the numerous snoring unicorns littering the plaza.
“Yes, and? Good for her!” he simply stated, turning around and leading the mare towards the tower’s doors, the bells upon his hat merrily jingled. “Do you know how often I have felt like doing so myself?
“Ah, and do fix your appearance while you are at it. As my apprentice, you have an image to maintain after all!” he firmly stated, his horn briefly flashing silver to open the doors before he gallantly gestured for Lady Zelda to enter.
“Now chop-chop, the tea won’t brew itself. Heavens knows what a disaster my last attempt of making a self-brewing teapot turned out to be, after all.” He grumbled, remembering how that attempt ended up nearly flooding half the tower.
“Self-perpetuating thaumic cascade resulting in out of control production of the desired end result?” Zelda politely inquired, making Star Swirl blink in surprise and then smile at the fact she knew what he was talking about.
“Precisely! Have you encountered the same issue before?” he asked, making small talk as they entered his abode, leaving a gaping Clover behind amidst the snoring guards.
“Unfortunately, yes. It seems to happen due to the necessary aetheric process needed for replication of matter interacting oddly with organically-derived products, which in turn leads to-“
As he had what he felt was the first truly stimulating conversation with an intelligent being he had in far too long, as he led this stunningly regal spell caster into one of his lounges and pulled a seat for her, and Star Swirl couldn’t help but bemoan the fact he wasn’t fifty years younger.