I agreed the situation was sticky. Indeed, offhand it was difficult to see how it could have been more glutinous. -- P. G. Wodehouse, Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit

Lian had feared many things in his life. Mostly they had been things that might happen to him if people found out what he was and what he'd done. Lately they'd been things that might happen to Zi Yao. But even when he was afraid he always had a plan of what to do if his fears came true.

He'd never planned for this. He'd thought that if he faced trouble from any of his family, it would be from Abihira. Not from someone who had known him before and personally witnessed his rampage.

Aunt Jiarlúr turned as white as chalk. "Abihira," she said quietly, in a voice that shook despite her best efforts, "come over here."

Abihira didn't move. "Listen, aunt, I can explain everything."

Lian kept his face blank while he screamed internally. Don't try to explain! Don't let her know you know who I am!

It would only end badly for Abi if she gave their family any reason to suspect she was in league with him. She was already in trouble; no need to make it worse. Lian wanted to say something -- to tell Abi to go away, or to tell Jiarlúr that Abi didn't know his real identity. Maybe even to pretend he didn't recognise her and he was a random stranger who just happened to look exactly like her exiled nephew. But his voice refused to work.

"Abihira, this is not a joke. Get away from that thing this minute!"

Abi still refused to move. "Don't call him a thing! He's a doctor. He works here. His name's Lian and he's a friend of Mirio's."

Jiarlúr made a choking sound as if she was having difficulty breathing. Abi's words finally jarred Lian out of his state of frozen shock. He quickly went over his cover story. His name was Vieraneth Dimeniesilru, he was a shopkeeper's son from the city of Kashurë on the western coast and spoke the Tholvad dialect, he was just over three thousand years old, and he had never been anywhere near Eldrin in his life. Contrast that with Prince Imrahil Mihasrinsilru, who by now would be almost six thousand years old and who spoke the Eldrin-Savidar dialect. No, even if she investigated she would find nothing to prove he was really her nephew. That thought gave him the courage to look her in the eye and pretend he didn't recognise her.

"It's an honour to meet you, your Highness," he said politely in Saoridhian, bowing to her. After so many years of wandering all over the planet, the galaxy and beyond he knew his accent had changed beyond recognition, but he still took the trouble to use the most western Saoridhian accent he could manage[1].

Jiarlúr stared at him, her mouth a grim line. Lian didn't believe for a minute she was really deceived. But as long as he put enough doubt in her mind, she couldn't go to either King Shi Zheng or Empress Raivíth. What would she say, anyway? "There's a doctor here who looks like my nephew. Yes, I know we all believe my nephew is dead, and the doctor's age and background doesn't match up at all." She'd be laughed out of the palace. Nor could she accuse him of being Imrahil in front of Abi, who as far as Jiarlúr knew also had no reason to believe her long-dead brother might still be alive. She'd have to explain the whole sorry saga, and it would sound even less convincing than when he told it.

Her thoughts ran along similar lines, judging by her increasingly dour expression. She looked sharply at Abi and tried another tack. "Why are you talking to a doctor? Are you ill?"

Abi didn't hesitate before answering. On the one hand this made her answer more convincing. On the other, as became painfully clear a few seconds later, it meant she didn't think before speaking. "I'm not talking to him because he's a doctor. He's engaged to Mirio."

Lian would have been less shocked if Empress Raivíth herself had arrived and personally asked him to come home and let bygones be bygones. He retained enough control over his expression to keep from openly gawking, but he shot Abi a sideways glance that let her know exactly what he thought of this.

Jiarlúr folded her arms and glared at Abi. "Do you really expect me to believe that your foster brother, the son of an emperor and the nephew of a king, is engaged to a foreign commoner?"

Abi nodded. Astonishingly she managed to look as if she really believed what she was saying. "That's why I'm talking to him instead of Mirio. I'm passing messages for them so no one will suspect. They're keeping their relationship quiet until Mirio finds a way to break it to his parents. You know how strict his father is. He'll be furious if he knows Mirio wants to marry a commoner."

Good lord. If this continued she'd tell her aunt they were a modern Suafin and Dahayes[2], complete with feuding families, one of them having killed the other's mother, and an impending tragic ending if they didn't manage to complete some impossible task. Lian elbowed Abi in the ribs to make her shut up before she dug both of their graves.

On the bright side Jiarlúr no longer looked suspicious of Abi. On the less bright side she looked instead as if she was questioning everyone's sanity, including her own. "This is the most preposterous nonsense I've ever heard."

Abi gave her a look of exaggerated innocence that would be better suited to a toddler than a grown woman. Lian elbowed her again to get her to tone it down. Jiarlúr stared at the two of them. Lian continued pretending not to recognise her. He kept his face a mask of bland polite uninterest.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Eventually Jiarlúr "hmph!"ed and stalked away, muttering to herself. As soon as she was out of earshot Lian turned and glared at Abi.

"Of all the excuses you could have found, you came up with that? What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking at all," Abi explained, confirming his suspicions. "And it's a good thing I said that."

"...A good thing?" Had she hit her head on something? Lian resisted the urge to check her eyes for signs of a concussion.

Abi nodded. "It's so absurd that she'll never think it's a lie." She suddenly rolled her eyes. "Oh, be quiet."

"I didn't say anything."

"Sorry, I didn't mean you."

Lian tried to make heads or tails out of that sentence. He failed. "The first thing dear auntie's going to do is try to verify your story. That means she'll ask Mirio. What do you think he'll say when he hears that pack of lies? And when he finds out you've given him a fiancé and made us part of a ridiculous romance-novel plot?"

"He won't be happy," Abi acknowledged. "We'd better tell him before Aunt does. But don't worry. He's bound to be used to this by now. For years the gossip columnists have declared he's engaged to everyone he speaks to for more than five minutes."

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Siarvin took the news better than Ilaran feared he would. He read the letter and said nothing for several minutes. Then he looked at the map of Saoridhlém that was pinned to the wall. "Where is Elegravan? How far is it from here?"

"Somewhere around here, I think," Ilaran said, pointing to central Saoridhlém. "About nine hundred miles from us. I don't think she's likely to come all the way here for revenge."

Siarvin shook his head. "No, that's not her style. She'll go into hiding somewhere until she can sneak away. She won't do anything to attract attention, and coming all the way here would take too long."

"If you want I'll have wanted posters put up just in case."

Siarvin thought for a while. "No. Better not let Shizuki know. If I had to guess I'd say she'd go to some city far away from Eldrin where she has friends and can blend in. She has no friends here and would stick out like a sore thumb."

Ilaran unfortunately couldn't share Siarvin's optimism. He gave orders to the guards to be on the look-out for any suspicious foreigners lurking around the palace. Then he went to his office to compose a reply to the letter. Irímé and Shizuki were in the archive room -- Irímé had started work and Shizuki said he was helping, but when Ilaran glanced in the door he saw Shizuki happily making paper boats out of an empty notebook. Koyuki was out sightseeing, and Kivoduin was currently dealing with whatever new nonsense the mayor and politicians had dreamt up. Ilaran should be able to work without interruption for at least an hour.

He got as far as addressing the envelope before he was interrupted by Abihira's thoughts again. At once he realised something interesting was happening in Gengxin.

"Why are you talking to a doctor? Are you ill?"

That was Abihira's aunt. And if Ilaran was understanding the current situation correctly, she had just met Lian. He spared a moment to be thankful he wasn't in Abihira's shoes right now.

"I'm not talking to him because he's a doctor. He's engaged to Mirio."

Ilaran blinked. He didn't know either Mirio or Lian well, but he was sure that if they were engaged someone would have mentioned it before now. Telepathically he asked, What?

Be quiet, Abi hissed. I'm trying to save our lives here!

Unsurprisingly Abi's aunt didn't believe a word of it. Lian looked as if he was silently begging someone to kill him and spare him the embarrassment of this conversation. Ilaran listened in disbelief as Abi came up with something that sounded like the plot of a badly-written romantic comedy.

When Abi's aunt finally left Ilaran told her bluntly, That was the worst, most obvious lie I've ever heard.

"Oh, be quiet," she said aloud, to Lian's confusion.

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When it came to getting herself and other people in all sorts of unexpected trouble, Abi was a genius unsurpassed among Mirio's acquaintances. He wasn't surprised when she and Lian came to the Ninth Prince's Palace, Abi looking sheepish and Lian looking resigned. All he thought on the subject at first was, I hope she hasn't done something dangerous this time.

Abi began awkwardly, "Er, Mirio, you might hear some... odd gossip from my aunt. I mean, she might ask you... Well, I used you as part of an excuse."

Mirio groaned internally. "No need to go any further. What lie am I supposed to confirm this time?"

Abi opened her mouth. Then she closed it again. She carefully avoided meeting Mirio's eyes. For a moment there was an awkward silence.

Lian broke it when he burst out laughing. "This genius has decided that we're engaged and told her aunt all about it. She even told her that we're tragic star-crossed lovers."

"Shut up!" Abi hissed at him. "I didn't say it like that!"

"You most certainly did! Or did I imagine all that tripe about disapproving relatives?"

Funny. They met for the first time in millennia and within hours they were bickering as if they'd known each other all their lives. Mirio watched them argue for several minutes before they remembered what they'd come to tell him. By then he had a fairly good idea of what Abi had said.

"You told your aunt that I'm engaged to Lian so she wouldn't be suspicious of his real identity," he said wearily. "While you were at it why didn't you say Lian is the rightful Tsar of Yekatsheviya?"

Abi shrugged. "I said the first thing that came into my head. So if Aunt asks you, will you say it's true?"

This was a terrible idea. It was going to backfire on all of them. It would probably end with one or all of them getting kicked out of the palace. Common sense told Mirio to refuse to agree. If Princess Jiarlúr mentioned anything about Abi's lies, he would flatly deny them and Abi could find her own way out of the mess she'd gotten herself into.

Then Mirio thought of Zi Yao, and what would happen to Lian if his past was revealed. His resolve weakened.

Just think of what it would mean! he told himself. I'd have to pretend to be in love with Lian!

No offense to Lian -- in spite of his unique situation there was nothing truly wrong with him, and he was certainly one of Mirio's closest friends -- but Mirio had realised long ago that he was incapable of physically desiring anyone and probably incapable of falling in love with anyone too. He tried to imagine himself giving Lian the sort of sappy adoring look that his cousins gave their fiancées. He failed.

"I can't play at being in love with anyone," he said firmly.

"You don't have to! You just have to say you're engaged to him. Plenty of people are engaged to someone they don't love. I mean, look at me and Irímé!"

Mirio sighed and looked at Lian. "What do you say? Do you mind if I go along with this story?"

Lian shrugged. "As long as word doesn't get out to the rest of the palace. Especially not to the Noble Royal Consort. She'll use it as an excuse to claim I'm a social climber. But Aunt Jiarlúr won't gossip, and she's the only one we have to convince."

"...All right, I'll go along with it." He glared at Abi. "But please stop getting me into this sort of situation!"