"To find an answer we must have the courage to ask a question and then find the motivation to try to understand. This is why we study and why we continue to improve upon our understanding. We will endeavor to understand how things change and we will create predictive models to that end. We will learn to control the material world together. Welcome once again to Calculus!"
The professor ended her lesson with excitement but Alanna just wasn't feeling all that excited. It had been a relatively calm day to any that may observe her. Yet her mind was being a bit to active for her particular liking. She wasn't wholly convinced it was her mind any more. She had spent most if this last class just trying to ignore the memories of the last kiss he shared with her before leaving to fight in someone else's war. Her soft lips pressed frantically against his own seeking comfort and assurance. Her warmth against his skin fading quickly as they separated yet the moment was so deeply ingrained into his being that Alanna could almost still feel her as the memory faded.
Alanna's cheeks were flushed and her heart was racing. Her emotions were all over the place. She felt a deep sorrow and regret for having to leave behind his love. She felt a duty to a cause that she had never been a part of. She felt a love so deep it almost hurt. However, she mostly felt confusion at the deep feelings she had of someone else's life.
It was not the first time she had an episode like this. It certainly wouldn't be the last. She wished more than anything that her mind would be her own but these ghosts of the past demanded she give them their due. Alana inhaled deeply and released a shaky breath. Then collected her notepad and textbook, tossed them into her bag, then left the building. She rushed to the residence hall and and closed herself into her dormitory room. Alanna breathed deeply and sat on her bed. It was too much. It was all just too much. She had a solid 3.2 GPA but this was a failure if you asked her ojiisan. She had preferred her daideo if she were being honest. He tended to dote on her and not demand nearly as much. She rarely got to see her grandparents as the paternal set lived in the small village of Corrandulla in county Galway of Ireland and the maternal set lived in Nikko, Japan.
Alanna lived with her mother, who was an executive for a Japanese car manufacture, in a small Ohioan town in the United States. Her father had died when she was young but her paternal grandparents demanded to be involved in her life. Family was everything to the Kirwans and even if she held only half their blood she was one of the tribe. She spent nearly every summer in county Galway where her daideo and maimeo would take her through her history. "Your blood is of this land Alanna." Her maimeo would say. "Our gods may be dead but the land remembers our pact and our blood is always drawn back to the land." It was weirdly true. Alanna was drawn their far more so than she was to Japan. Her fiery red hair and emerald green eyes may have had something to do with it.
After a few more deep breaths she calmed down and picked up the phone. She had to let her mother know of the episode she did not want to fall further behind in her studies and perhaps the campus environment was not helping. Her latest batch of meds certainly weren't. She prepared to dial when another memory overtook her.
The fog was thick across the land and the ground was damp. A hound was baying in the distance and whirls of fog pushed into her visual spectrum like the ghosts of the land seeking her warmth. The hoof beat of the horses was slow and the metallic clamoring of the barding added to the eerie ambiance. "Were almost to the lough." A masculine voice sounded next to her. "Please let us be on time." Alanna heard herself whisper. Except it wasn't quite her voice. It was huskier and she could feel an ache across her body that could only come from age. The red hair she could see in her peripheral was fading into grey and was far more curly then Alanna's own. The fog thinned as the elevation increased slightly and Alanna could hear the cries of despair. Her group crested the ridge and froze as they beheld the horror. The great tree lie broken and a fat priest with his golden crucifix held above his head screamed about the inevitability of his God's defeat of the pagan gods. A cohort of the legion surrounded the coven. Alanna could feel her heart breaking and tears flowed freely from her eyes. "No." She cried. She could see the other druids corpses and while that was sad it was nothing compared to the pain she felt seeing the tree cut down. The sorrow turned to anger and she let it out in an anguished and terrible cry. "Maraigh iad go léir!" She screamed and her retinue charged down the hill.
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The hobelars crashed into the metal clad legion and began hacking with axes and swords creating chaos in the ranks. It took several minutes for the legion's cohort to regain order but when it did it had there were fewer than a hundred remaining. Unfortunately for the Tuatha they had only fifty fighters still alive. The tribe did not care. "Our blood for our land!" They cried and charged the now prepared cohort. The blood flowed into the land but they were overwhelmed by numbers. Alanna lay dying on the ground her sickle covered in blood. She breathed slowly and held her hand over her abdomen trying to keep her insides where they belonged. She stared at the fallen tree and tears once again fell. She could not save her lands and these converts kept invading and bringing with it new ideas and a new belief. The old places of power were drying up and the land gods were retreating with the rest of the Tuatha De Danann to the realm beyond. She heard foot steps approach her and the fat priest stood above her his zealous gaze piercing her. "It appears my God is stronger than yours pagan." He spat in vitriol. "This land will become the kingdom of heaven and your filth will be purged with the other demons." The blood flowing from her wound seeped into the land and Alanna felt her hands fall away. The blood pooled into her open palm on the ground and in it a thorn was formed by the land. She looked up at the priest and smiled. Her teeth was stained in her own blood but she had a look of peace. "The old ways may be gone but you will not live to see this kingdom of your god." She thrust the thorn into his inner thigh and fell back to the ground. She laughed as the man screamed the thorn turning back into blood and flowing into his wound. Within moments it turned black and pushed through the man's circulatory system. Black blood flowed from his mouth as he screamed then he fell to the ground and burst into vines of ivy that spread around Alanna and lifted her into the sky. The few remaining of the cohort fled from the coven and into the fog. Alanna stared out over the hill and stared into the dark waters of Lough Corrib. Tears still fell as did her blood but the ivy held her firmly. Her breathing became shallow and her heart beats slowed. "My blood for my land." She whispered then slumped in death. The ivy gently laid her to rest and then consumed her and every other corpse left behind.
Alanna stared blankly at the phone screen in her hand. Tears fell freely from her eyes. She took a deep shaky breath and reached toward her night stand where a bottle of pills sat opened and waiting. "Why does this keep happening?" She cried as she clasped the bottle. Before she could take a pill her phone rang. She looked at the screen to see who was calling "Daideo" was written on the screen. Alanna paused and took a deep breath before answering. "Hi grandpa." She said. "My little one, my Alanna. Mamó told me to call you. She said it is time to come home."