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The Perks of Immortality
Chapter 3 Goblin Infestation

Chapter 3 Goblin Infestation

Kegan awoke in his cabin, but it was not the same cabin that had just been attacked by goblins. He was back in the spirit’s realm. Everything felt different in this realm. All of the minor sensations and feelings that you learn to tune out were numb and faint. His feet felt like they were floating barely touching the ground rather than the solid connection he was used to. The furs against his skin barely registered at all. His hearing and eyesight had a haze over them, the same feeling you get when you haven’t quite woken up.

Kegan moved outside. Technically his legs were making the same motions as when he walked, but it felt nothing like walking, instead he simply moved.

The floating blue spirit was outside as well as the same board where he had first seen the perks.

Kegan felt anger welling up inside him. The spirit had somehow tricked him, he had thought these perks would let him go out and live an easy life. Instead this swarm of goblins had murdered him in his own home.

The spirit pulsed as it spoke to Kegan.

“Welcome back Adventurer Kegan! I see based on your recent death report that you have decided to face the first challenge head on! Sadly, I can’t award you experience points for bravery alone. You get 31 points for the 31 days you were alive. You get 1 point for every 5 goblin babies you killed, and 1 point for each adult goblin you kill. So that is an additional 9 points of experience. A total of 40 points on your first run!”

Kegan felt himself getting angrier and angrier

“I don’t care about these … points! What were those goblins doing in my valley? They were never there before!”

“Aha, nice try Adventurer Kegan, but I don’t give out spoilers. You will have to investigate yourself why these goblins have shown up in the forest valley you call home. I can’t just tell you everything that is going to happen, and why it is happening. What would be the challenge in that?”

Kegan’s anger and frustration suddenly broke. What was the point of being mad at this stupid spirit? He just sat down in frustration and resignation. Even sitting down felt strange in this place.

“It wouldn’t be any challenge at all.” The spirit seemed to have decided to answer its own question after giving Kegan a few seconds.

Kegan looked at the board of perks. It was all the existing perks he already had. Kegan asked the spirit, “Can I get more of these perks?”

“You still have more perks to unlock, would you like to view the other pages?”

“Yes, I want to see all of the perks I can unlock. I think I know what 1/3 pages means and you were hiding some perk from me last time.”

“I was not hiding any perks, though I guess since you had forgotten how to read certain phrases might not make sense to you. I’ll change the display so that all available perks are visible.”

The list got slightly longer and the ones Kegan had already selected looked faded out.

Perk Name

Perk Effect

Experience points required

Achievement to unlock

Walking expert

Tripping, twisting your ankle, falling, and other failed attempts at walking are far less likely.

250

Spend 10,000 hours walking

Homeowner

Unlock the “Homeowner” series of perks. Homeowner perks apply while in your home residence (a place you have lived in for 100 days).

500

Construct and live in a shelter for more than 100 days.

Homeowner (home is where the heart is)

Reduce the required number of days to set a residency.

50 per day. Maximum of 75 day reduction (spend 3000 points all at once to unlock maximum reduction).

Unlock Homeowner Perk.

Homeowner (healthy)

Natural healing rate is twice as fast while at home.

500

Unlock Homeowner Perk.

Homeowner (well fed)

Calorie requirements are halved while at home

500

Unlock Homeowner Perk.

Homeowner (well rested)

Sleep requirements are halved while at home.

500

Unlock Homeowner Perk.

Persistence Hunter

Long distance running is made easier. Your legs will recover faster, you will need less air, and your body will control its temperature easier. This perk will effectively double your running distance.

400

Hunt down 10 animals by running them to death. (Requirement met more than 50 animals, point discount applied.)

Deodorant

You give off no scent.

250

Be tracked down and killed based on your scent. Or lose 10 prey because they smelled you. (Both conditions met, point discount applied.)

Man’s best friend.

Instinctively know how to send ‘friendly’ signals to wolves. Also changes scent to be pleasant to wolves.

500

Killed by wolves. (conditions met multiple times, point discount applied)

Potty Trained

‘Hold it in’ indefinitely without pain. (note: will not protect you from the negative health consequences of holding it in)

500

Take care of bodily functions 10,000 times.

Taming Fire

Create a small flame on your fingertip.

1000

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

Start 100 fires. (Conditions met more than necessary, point discount applied)

Inner Warmth

Generate more body heat for the same amount of energy.

250

Die from hypothermia. (conditions met multiple times, discount applied)

Thick skinned

Your skin is thicker and more resistant to cuts and scratches. It takes twice as much force to break your skin.

250

Suffer 1000 cuts in a life and not die.

Total experience points: 21201

“I’ll take them all.”

“New perks have been added you now have 15801 experience points left. Would like to respawn now Adventurer Kegan?”

“Yes”

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Kegan didn’t waste any time after he awoke on the shrine in the mountain. He quickly started rushing down the mountain. He nearly tripped a few times on his way down, but felt his walking expert perk activate and save him.

He was gathering any straight dry branches he could find on the ground. He had a rock at his cabin for sharpening these branches into spears and javelins. But he also needed a new weapon. The spears were great for hunting and could inflict bleeding wounds that would definitely kill or weaken an animal. However, he didn’t have time to wait for a bleeding wound to weaken the goblins. They kept attacking until they died.

His idea for a new weapon had come from the goblins themselves. Some of them had carried wooden clubs, and Kegan decided a club fit his needs best. With enough weight in the club a solid hit would send a wounded goblin flying away. He knew of some oak trees that might be the perfect wood for a club.

Next he needed to be better able to survive in a straight fight with the goblins. His new thick skin perk would probably help, but it probably wasn’t enough to rely on that. He would have to try some different things with the animal skins he had saved up. He knew certain conditions could make the skins hard and stiff, he’d usually considered those skins ruined, but he also remembered them being tough. He would also see if he could use the bones of any animals for some added protection.

If a fight was going to go badly he knew he could outrun the goblins, even if he was weighed down with some extra gear and weapons. He would have to avoid being cornered in his home like last time. He set up weapon caches and leaf bundles throughout the forest. The valley wasn’t too large so he could run around it in circles while hurling an occasional javelin back at any chasing goblins. That would have to be a last ditch effort though, with how many goblins there were last time, they could take turns chasing him or eventually surround him on all sides.

Finally, he wasn’t sure if he could beat the goblins alone, he would have to fight them alongside the wolves. The wolf pack that lived in the valley had been a constant danger in most of his previous lives. They’d killed him a few times when he had been caught sick and injured away from his cabin.

With his plans in place he worked tirelessly for the next 30 days. His homeowner perks were incredibly valuable during this time, allowing him time to figure out how to harden skins. He set up 8 different sites with some snacks and weapons stored at each site. He reinforced his cabin, and the front door.

He felt ready, but also nervous. He remembered back to the first winter he had survived. He had finally learned how to consistently survive in warm temperatures, mostly through painful trial and error. But he had never been planning ahead, he always tried to survive the winter in the same way he survived the warm months, by adjusting his actions on a day to day basis. It was a squirrel burying acorns that finally gave him the epiphany he needed to survive the winter. It was all about planning ahead, he could only survive winter if he started trying to survive winter when it was still warm out. These goblins would be the same.

Kegan headed towards the wolf den, but a day earlier this time. He figured he would just hide out and wait for something to start happening and then jump in and help the wolves. As he got closer he realized he wouldn’t have to wait, instead he might have to hurry. He could hear the wolves growling and an occasional goblin shriek.

Kegan started sprinting, tearing his way through the woods. He was slowed down a little with all of his gear. His club, three javelins, his regular spear, and pieces of leather and bone stitched together covering as much of his body as he could.

Up ahead he could finally see the goblins and wolves. There was a dead deer lying between the groups, clearly killed by and partially eaten by the wolves. The goblins were driving the wolves back though. There were about 20 goblins, but only a few of them had weapons. Fighting hadn’t broken out, both groups were just trying to scare off and intimidate the other group.

Kegan slowed a little to maintain the element of surprise. He circled around to the rear of the group of goblins. He got his javelins ready and got within 50 feet of the goblins. He quickly threw two of his heaviest javelins into the group of goblins. He wasn’t sure what kind of javelin would work best, but he would rather run around with his last lighter javelin.

They both worked perfectly. The weight was enough to drive them all the way through one goblin and into another. One had hit high on the back of a goblin and gone through the stomach of the goblin in front. They were both dying. Another had gone through the middle of a goblins chest and grazed the back thigh of the goblin in front of it.

Three dead and one wounded. If the goblins were clumped together the heavier javelins were worth their weight. Seeing their dying comrades seemed to enrage the other goblins. They were screaming in their shrill language at each other. A few had turned around and seen Kegan. There was a moment of group hesitation. Kegan knew this was the moment that this life hinged on.

They all screamed at the wolves one last time but then as a group all turned around and started running at Kegan. Kegan threw his last spear and started running. He didn’t see the results but he heard a goblin scream out in pain.

He sprinted away from the goblins for a couple hundred feet. He knew he could easily outpace them, the question was how they would respond. He turned around and was surprised to see that they had almost immediately given up on chasing him and were now running screaming back towards the wolf pack. The wolves had taken the opportunity to rip apart the deer and were trying to carry off some of the smaller chunks. So much for having help fighting the goblins Kegan thought. One of them at least must have killed the goblin that Kegan had wounded with his first two javelins.

The goblins were going into feeding frenzy mode, they started ripping apart the dead goblins and what was left of the deer and shoving it into their mouths.

It was time for Kegan to try something riskier, he knew it might come to this. But he had to know just how distracted they were in this feeding frenzy. He starts sprinting towards the group with his new oaken club out. He was able to get right up to the outside of the group without them noticing and take a big swing of the club into the back of a goblin. The goblin screamed in pain but Kegan wasn’t waiting around, he was already sprinting away. He could hear the goblins yelling and chasing him. After he got a good distance away he turned around again. Most of the goblins had gone back to feeding but 6 were still chasing him. They had gotten onto all fours and were actually moving much faster than he thought they could.

He started leading them on a chase through the woods. He could luckily still outrun them, but it would be hard to completely lose them. He headed towards one of his stashes in the woods. He got there and with the help of his perks felt like he could have kept up this pace for much longer. The goblins following him seemed exhausted. When they saw him stopping they clearly got very excited. He had 5 smaller javelins at this location. He threw the first one at a goblin about a 100 feet away. It would have been enough to seriously injure the goblin, but the goblin was smart and fast enough to dodge the javelin. He waited until they got to just 70 feet before throwing another one.

The first one in line dodged again, but this time he was aiming for the second one in line who didn’t have time to move out of the way. Since the goblin had been on all fours the javelin hit the lower back of the goblin, and probably lodged in its pelvis. It went down screaming in pain. The other goblins ignored it and kept coming. He hurled the third javelin, he nearly missed, but instead scored a lucky hit on the head of a goblin. Dropping it instantly 50 feet away.

The fourth javelin, he hadn’t been careful to line up the shot. It missed landing right between the arms and head of a goblin, but it stuck in the ground and tripped that goblin up. They were 30 feet now. His last javelin and he didn’t miss, right through the heart of the lead goblin.

Three goblins left. He got his spear and club ready. The first goblin was moving too fast to do anything other than impale itself on his spear. But the next goblin ran right around it. Kegan had backed up to give himself room to swing his club. The goblin saw the club coming and turned sideways sticking out its arms to grab the club and protect itself. The weight of the club crushed the goblins hands and arms and sent it to the ground screaming. But the swing had opened him up and the last goblin jumped at his chest.

They collided and went sprawling to the ground. Kegan got the wind knocked out of him as he landed on his back. The goblin had long sharp claws, and was trying to tear at Kegan’s chest. The armor he had made did its job though. Kegan grabbed its wrists, and since he was more powerful he was able to push the goblin off of him and roll to the side. He had the goblin pinned now with one of his legs over the goblins thighs to immobilize its legs.

He was kind of stuck now though. He couldn’t risk letting go of one of its wrists to free up his own hand, and this goblin was slippery and trying to slide out from his control. So he used his only free body part. He started headbutting the goblin. He had a bone and leather helmet on, so the headbutting was hurting the goblin a lot more. A few more headbuts and the goblin stopped struggling with a dazed look in its eyes and a bleeding gash on its head. Kegan got up picked up his club and brought it crashing down on the goblins head, smashing it open. He proceeded to finish off the other wounded goblins in the same way.

He collected all of his weapons, wiping as much of the blood and guts off as he could. He looked down at a corpse and shook his head. “It is going to be a long few days” he thought as he started heading back towards the other goblins.