Most mothers do not have the time to bake a great deal but, I have found a way to make the perfect cake.

First, find your recipe that grandma always used to make.  It's probably buried in an index card box in the attic covered in dust.

Once you have discovered this artifact, dust off the your recipe card. Try not to breath in the dust to prevent sneezing and getting a head rush.

Return to you kitchen and begin to locate all of your ingredients and put them on the counter.  While you are at it, grab a pen and paper to make a list of store items that you do not have.  Most likely the kid’s science experiment went array with the last of the baking soda. 

Next find your large mixing bowl with the pour spout. It's probably buried in the back of the fridge with your husband's last salsa attempt, that is now growing its own forest.

During your hunt for a mixing bowl, the three year old will grab the flour container and throw it around your kitchen.  The white powder foot prints throughout your house will give you a trail to follow to find the child.

Add flour to your list. 

The seven year old will try to help by getting the eggs from the fridge and will “accidentally” drop the entire carton on the floor. Maybe one will survive the fall.

Add eggs to your list.

The nine year old will be in the living room nagging and saying that you should have let her help you. Not to mention, the sing song of "I told you so..."

Send your husband to the store for the missing ingredients as you attempt to disinfect your mixing bowl and relocate the mini forest to the back yard where the dog can't get into it.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Your husband will return in about an hour with the eggs, flour and some outrageous snack that he had to have. He'll drop the supplies on the counter and break at least three eggs.

Take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, you can do this.

Begin to measure accurately and place all your ingredients in the mixing bowl.

Next, you will have to dig out your whisk from that drawer that has every utensil tangled into it.  If you don’t have one, a fork works also. 

Stir all ingredients vigorously together for two minutes.  Make sure to stretch your hand because it’s now cramped up. 

Grease your pan, sprinkle some flour to keep the cake from sticking to the pan and preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  During the 10 seconds that it takes to do that, the fifteen month old will sneak up behind you and grab the whisk/fork, which, will douse him and the floor with the mixing bowl contents.

Roll your eyes and groan.  Next you will try not to pull your hair out. After that you will yell out to your husband that you are going to the store and that he needs to wash the baby. Tell the kids that they can’t come with you.  Ignore the screaming, crying and whining as you proceed to grab your keys and run to your car. Quickly but safely drive to the store; pick out the perfect cake that fits your budget. Get to the register and realize that you have forgotten your purse. 

Now, rush back to the house, sneak in and grab your purse. Avoid all eye contact with children. Carefully rush back to the store, apologize like a fool to the cashier.  Smile and try to not look like a crazy person.

Take your cake to the vehicle.  Look for your bank card and make sure you didn't forget it in the card reader....

Now go back into the store again and get your bank card.  Apologize again to the cashier. Don't be embarrassed, it happens to the best of us. Carefully drive back home and take the cake inside. Don't trip over the now clean, fifteen month old running around your legs, as you place it on the counter. 

Proceed to remove it from the package. Make sure that the plastic lid doesn’t take off the sides of the cake.  Forget any extra decorative things except the little spiral candles that burn down faster than you can light them.

Place the cake on the only clean spot on the table that is surrounded with all the smiling faces of your loving children and a few neighborhood kids that snuck in while you were at the store.

Ta-Da!

You have a beautiful cake that someone else baked and you still end up with the mess of the kitchen. *Sigh*

Don't worry, next time you will have the husband take the kids to the park so you can bake in peace.