Kazius and Damon were both surprised to hear the details of Azanor’s family. The distrust from Zelphar, Ratier, and Thimdur would almost seem less outrageous due to it… But at the same time, they knew Azanor well… On paper, this fact was terrible, but it did not change how Azanor had betrayed his people for the sake of mortals.
“I suppose I should talk about things in order… For starters, I was almost Demon King… Not because I was the oldest, but because I was winning the competition. Anyone with even a drop of royal blood is allowed to participate… You are even allowed to kill each other if you wish. Anything goes… But my brother, Valos, and I wanted to compete fairly with each other. It was about getting strength… Through any means necessary… And enjoying every bit of it by trying to outdo each other with our cruelty. Due to that, we got along more than siblings in our position typically do.” Azanor began, looking as if with every word, the load on him got lighter… But at the same time, his face only looked more and more miserable.
It was strange hearing someone speak so casually about The Demon King… Usually, his name was followed by curses or disdain, not regret.
“The fact that we are both unique also helped… The way every Demon devours souls and gains strength depends on the type of Demon… Their nature… Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, Lust, Pride, and Wrath. We Demons embody the worst in living creatures… We exist as the reflection of their worst attributes… And so, our methods are divided by those sins, they embody the kind of Demon we are. Take Succubi and Incubi for example… What Mortals call Lust Demons, their method of acquiring souls… Is… Self-explanatory. I say all of that to explain what makes my brother and me so unique. Valos is the only Wrath Demon and I am the only Gluttony Demon… No other Demons like us have existed.” Azanor continued.
“Most Demons have to acquire the RIGHT to take a soul. Contracts are an easy and the most common way to do that… But what makes Valos so terrifying is that he doesn’t need any of that. He can just take as many souls as he wishes… Due to that though, the amount of power he absorbs from a soul is very little… As for me on the other hand, I am a Gluttony Demon… When I eat a soul, I absorb every bit of energy that I can… But that comes with a side effect… I end up absorbing the memories of the souls of the people I eat… The amount is random… Sometimes it is only a second… Sometimes it is a minute… And even rarer… One time I ended up absorbing an entire lifetime.” Azanor admitted with a grimace, gripping his cane for dear life, as if he were an old man who truly needed it to walk.
Kazius was beginning to understand why Azanor acted so much like a normal person… He always warned them about how they should not trust any Demon except him… But now it was clear that he truly was different from them… And why. Worse yet, Kazius was also starting to realize why Azanor did not want to eat any more souls. He found it to be wrong… But also it slowly changed him… Kazius could imagine how disorienting it would be to suddenly have the memories of someone else’s entire life.
“At first… I started to grow curious about mortals… I didn’t understand why they ever bothered to do anything… With such short and pathetic lives… I only saw them like cattle, food to eventually eat. All Demons think that way… We are normally incapable of feeling a lot of emotions that Mortals feel… Yes, we have feelings… But things like empathy… And even love, as in actual unconditional love… They can’t understand it. Back then, I did not understand it… I was crueler than my brother and enjoyed torturing Humans the most… Back then… Valos admired me… He wanted to eat as many souls as possible to get as strong as me… And I edged him on to try to catch up to me.” Azanor continued, sounding disgusted and even guilty. It was clear he blamed himself for how Valos had turned out… And what he had done as Demon King.
“Then one day I got bored and decided to just do some Human watching. That was when I noticed me- a simple old man named Victor.” Azanor began, it seemed that sometimes he confused himself with him, but then made sure to correct himself.
“I saw him walk from his home to the woods every day and chop wood to keep his home warm. Sometimes he had help, sometimes he did not… But even though he could not walk on his own… He did it without fail… I didn’t understand him… Why he tried so hard… He was old… His wife was just as old… They were about to die… Why bother? Why… Pick flowers on his way back… When he could barely carry the wood on his own… Why give them to his wife? She was already his wife and she wasn’t even beautiful, she was old… She was bedridden and unable to even go outside… It… It made zero sense to me back then… What bothered me most was how I was so strong, yet this miserable creature looked so satisfied with his life… When I was not… I was jealous and angry… but also… Curious… So, I decided to offer him a deal.” Azanor admitted, even now it seemed he remembered his frustration quite clearly.
“I wanted to know what someone like him would wish for… At my full power back then I could manage a decent amount, nothing crazy, but I figured he would ask for wealth, something short-sighted that he wouldn’t get to enjoy since I would be taking his soul…. But instead, he asked me for the most beautiful flowers in the world… So, he could give his wife the most beautiful bouquet she had ever seen…” Azanor continued, showing his pure disbelief from back then in his tone.
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“That man had one of the candidates of Demon King in front of him… Back when I was at my full strength… And he wished for some fucking flowers for his wife, at the cost of his soul. He knew she did not have long… And he wanted to make her happy… It… It pissed me off more than you could ever imagine. I granted his wish… And then I gave Elanor- Then he gave his wife the flowers.” Azanor explained, showing just how confusing those memories were for him, forced to correct himself… And even emphasized that he was not Victor, likely more for his own sake than theirs.
“Once he got to see her happy face, he came back out and accepted his fate without any disagreement… No kicking and screaming… No begging… None of any of that… It made me angrier… And I took it out on him… I… changed to my true form and ate him as slowly as I could… I wanted him to beg for his life… But I never got what I wanted… Instead, he begged me for a swifter death… But I-I… I acted petty… And refused to even give him that.” Azanor’s voice began to tremble as he spoke, showing fear and disgust at his actions.
“That was when it happened… I-I… I saw everything that made Victor… Victor… I … I got to see how loving my mother was… How… How much I loved being picked up by my father… How he taught me to hold a sword… How I helped at the family farm… How sad I was when I left home to become my own man… How shy I felt when I first met Elanor… How beautiful she was… How much she meant to me… I-I…” Azanor shook, gripping his cane tighter. He was shedding a few tears, showing just how moved he was by the memories. As if they were his own.
Damon was shocked to see Azanor cry in such a way, but both Kazius and him understood the number of emotions that he was dealing with right now. Damon began to pat him on the back to try and reassure him.
“It is alright, we are not judging you.” Damon assured.
Kazius nodded, after all, sure what Azanor described was terrible, but Kazius decided a long time ago that he did not have a moral high ground on anything. Not to mention, Azanor was his friend. The fact that he was telling Kazius all of this… Meant a lot, Kazius knew that Azanor was worried about being distrusted… And that is why he kept his origin a secret.
“You are our friend… You know I am not so innocent either… It is okay…” Kazius assured, waiting for Azanor to calm down.
Eventually, Azanor did, before he loosened his grip on his cane a little.
When this happened, Kazius studied the cane closely, realizing something he had not noticed before. The old cane was certainly well taken care of… For it to last so long… There likely had to be magic involved… The source of the cane was obvious now, considering that right where Azanor removed his hand, Kazius realized the name ‘Victor’ was carved into the cane.
“Thank you… I… I can finish… It is alright… I… The last thing I saw… Was how sick Elanor had gotten… How Victor made sure to keep the house warm for her so she would not suffer… And then… I saw myself… And I experienced every bit of what I did to Victor… All of it… I was able to see… What a Monster I was… How horrifying I looked in my true form… I… The first thing I did when I came back to my senses was throw up… And then I cried… I was so confused… About who I am… I was so scared… Alone… I… I did not want to be a Demon anymore… I hated everything about the existence I had… I didn’t want to steal souls anymore… But I also felt the urge to. I loved suffering, but I hated causing it at the same time… I felt like my mind was broken.” Azanor finished.
“Before leaving, I checked on Elanor… And realized she had passed… Just like Victor suspected she would… I buried her and put the flowers Victor wished for on her grave… And then I went home… But… I wasn’t the same… I… I surrendered my right to the throne… I wanted nothing to do with a competition about eating souls… Valos was so angry with me… He called me every name in the book… He cursed at me…. Everyone called me a disappointment… I told them I would leave… And then come by every now and then… My brother only got angrier… He swore he would become King… And that he would prove to me how foolish I am… Once he got all the power he wanted.” Azanor sighed, guilt returning to his voice. Now Kazius was understanding why Azanor seemed to blame himself for the war… It seemed like Azanor leaving was some sort of catalyst for Valos to become who he was now.
“I wanted to be away from everything… But the longer that passed, the less I could accept myself… I gave up on life… One day… I just broke down while I was in the woods… I felt like there was no place for someone like me in this world… But I also feared death… I… I curled up and just refused to move. I could not act like a proper Demon… But I was not a Mortal that could be accepted by them… This was before the war… But even then Demons had a dubious reputation at best. I had no idea what to do… But then… Evesorane found me… ” Azanor sounded sad at first, but then his tone shifted to one of so much love.