Everyone dies one day, some sooner than others, but nothing could prepare you for the day that it actually comes. Whether you’re anticipating their death or it was tragic, you never know how you’re going to react or what life will be like afterward. 

Six months ago my parents and sister got into a fatal car accident on their way to visit me in New York, and I can say that nothing truly prepares you for that. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I had talked to my mom that morning and she told me they would be here by noon. When it was two in the afternoon I still hadn’t heard anything so I tried to call her, then my dad, and lastly my sister, and all went to voicemail. 

Four in the afternoon was when I got the call.

“Is this Miss Ward?” the voice on the other end of the line said.

“Yes,” I replied not knowing that what he would say next would change my life forever.

“This is Officer Adams, I’m sorry to inform you that your parents and sister got into a car accident.”

“Are they okay?” I remember asking, not ready to prepare myself for the answer. I knew before he even told me. If they were okay one of them would’ve called after the accident, but that call never came, this one did instead. 

“They were pronounced deceased at the scene. I’m sorry for your loss.”

I hung up the phone and sat down. Tears threatened to reach my eyes, but they never came. I had refused to believe what the officer was telling me. I had told myself that my family was okay and that the call was just a prank. Macee had just walked through the door excited about the A she had gotten on one of her papers. She saw me and immediately knew something was wrong. She came over and hugged me and that’s when the tears came. 

My parents were my best friends and were always there when I needed them when my sister and I needed them. If I ever needed to talk or help with something my parents would drop everything to listen or to help. My sister was two years younger than me, twenty, and had so much life left to live and now she won’t get to. Her dream had always been to be a teacher and I knew she would’ve been the best damn teacher in the world. 

I can’t help but blame myself for their death. I mean they were in the car on the way to New York to visit me. Macee tried to tell me that it wasn’t my fault and that car accidents can happen anywhere but it doesn’t make me feel any less guilty. 

Now six months later I am sitting at my desk staring at the document on my computer that only has ‘Chapter One’ written on it. I had just signed a deal for my third novel when my parents were making a trip to New York. They were coming to celebrate with me. Now I can’t bring myself to write the first chapter of the novel. I haven’t done much of anything these past six months. I haven’t left the apartment Macee and I share. I took a semester off school. Macee tries her best to get me to get out more but I just can’t do it. I just can’t. 

Macee was close with my family too, like a third daughter to my parents and a second sister to my sister. When my parents first died we were grieving together and I didn’t feel so alone, but Macee has moved on with her life. I’m sure she’s still grieving but unfortunately, life doesn’t stop when bad things happen. Why can’t I? Why can’t I move on too? I know there is no timeline to grief, but I can’t help but be angry at myself and the world for not moving on with my life. It’s like the day my family died was the day the world stopped. 

I sigh as I close my laptop. I’m not getting any writing done and I don’t know if I will get any done today. I head to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, I have started eating better and taking care of myself more mostly because Macee has been pushing me to do so. 

“Are you hungry? I can make you something?” Macee asks from the living room. 

“No thank you,” I say as I grab a glass from the cupboard and fill it with water. 

“Your agent called,” Macee says as she gets up from the couch. I haven’t been on my phone much and I know I should be, with being in the middle of a book deal but I don’t want to talk to anyone. We have a landline and that must’ve been where Blake Marcus, my agent, had called from. It’s not unusual for Blake to call. He has been calling every day to check up on me and see how I’m doing. I know the publishing company is breathing down his neck about my third novel since the release date has already been discussed, but he always tells me to take as much time as I need. I know I need to get my shit together. I need to work on my novel and start living my life again. 

“What did he say?” I say as I put the glass back on the counter. 

“He wanted me to let you know that he is only a call or text away if you need him. He said he knows you’re still going through a rough time, but that he and the company have an opportunity for you. He wants you to give him a call back when you get a chance. He wouldn’t tell me the details over the phone.”

“Thank you,” I say as I pull my phone out of the pocket of my sweatpants. I dial his number and hold the phone up to my ear.

“Julie! How are you doing?”

“I’m okay. Macee said you called.”

“Yes. The publishing company called me today. They have an opportunity for you. Sally’s bookstore has this thing where they want local authors to come in and do book signings. They are also announcing a book contest on social media where people can send their stories in and we will review them. Whoever wins gets their book published by our company and has a chance to write a novel with you if you’re up for it,” Blake says. “I think it could be a good opportunity for you. Give you some inspiration for your novel and allow you to connect with your readers and other authors.” He is right. This would be a good opportunity for me and it may be what I need to pull me out of this funk I’m in. I’ve never done a book signing before and I think it would be fun to interact with people who enjoy my book.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

“Let’s do it. I think it’s a good opportunity too.”

“Perfect. It’s tomorrow. I will give the company a callback and let them know.” 

“Perfect,” I say through grit teeth and he hangs up. Ah, that’s the catch. It’s tomorrow. Fuck. Now I really got to pull myself together. 

“Well, what did he say?” Macee says.

“Book signing at Sally’s Bookstore and they’re doing a writing contest.”

“That’s exciting! Wait, why aren’t you excited?”

“It’s tomorrow.”

“Oh.”

“Oh is right,” I say with a sigh as I sit down at the kitchen table. How the hell am I going to pull myself together enough in twenty-four hours to make myself presentable in front of an unknown amount of people?

“It’ll be okay. You get to meet your fans and Blake and I will be there. Besides, I love you, but you need to get out of this apartment at some point.”

“You’re right,” I say and she is. I do need to get out. I’ve been confined to the space of our apartment for the past six months. 

✰ ✰✰ ✰ ✰ 

Macee and I arrive at Sally’s Bookstore at seven-thirty in the morning. 

“It’ll be okay,” Macee says reassuring me. I nod as I take a deep breath as we walk inside.

“Julie, Macee. Glad you could both make it. This is Sally the owner,” Blake says with a smile when he sees Macee and I. 

“Hello,” I say, putting on the fakest smile I could manage. “Thank you, Sally, for having us.”

“Thank you for being here. Business has been slow these days and I hope this will bring more customers,” Sally replies. 

“I hope so too,” I say. Blake leads Macee and me to a table that is already set up for me. It has copies of my first two novels on it. Both of my novels are lesbian romances. I look at my first one and smile. My first book is my favorite. It highlights what coming to terms with your sexuality is like and how scary it can be. My main character is a lot like me when I was in high school; closeted and scared of the world. I’m not as closeted anymore but I keep my sexuality private although I’m not sure it’s as private as I think considering the types of books I write. 

“So, people should start coming in around eight. This is your station to sign books, Julie, and Macee if you don’t mind helping out with restocking the piles if she runs out,” Blake says.

“Of course,” Macee replies.

“And the rest of the team and I will be in charge of handling the book contest submissions. The event should only last until around ten and if you guys have time we will start going through the admissions and announce the winner by the end of the week to get things rolling.”

“Sounds good,” I say as Macee nods. We still have a few minutes so I walk over to the rest of my publishing team. 

“Julie. How are you?” Mark, the CEO of the company, says as he goes in for a hug. 

“I’m good,” I lie as I return his hug. “How are you?”

“I’m great. I’m glad you’re here and I hope writing is going well.”

“It is. Thank you for this opportunity.”

“Of course. If you’re hungry or need a drink there is a refreshments table over there,” Mark says pointing to a table that has donuts, a coffee station, and bottles of water. I say my goodbyes and head over to the table. I make a cup of coffee for myself and grab water for Macee.

“Thank you,” Macee says. “How are you holding up?”

“Good so far. Ask me again in ten minutes when the event has started.”

Macee chuckles as we prepare for the customers. 

As promised the event ends at ten. The event went well and I actually had a good time. It was nice to be reminded of the amount of people who enjoy my writing and me as an author. I signed a hundred books, some for Sally’s bookstore, and took lots of photos. I gave twenty signed copies to Sally in hopes that it would improve her business. 

“I think the event went well,” Blake says to Macee and me. 

“I agree. The turnout was better than I expected,” Mark says as Macee and I nod in agreement. 

“Ready to start going through these submissions?” I say ready to leave as soon as possible. I had a good time at the event but I would be lying if I said my anxiety levels weren’t at an all-time high and have been all morning.

“Let’s do it,” Mark says as he grabs the stack and we head to a table in the back of Sally’s bookstore. I looked and there appear to only be twenty submissions which I am surprised about. I figured there would be more but I’m not complaining.

“So, there is a lot of reading here, which means Julie all you have to do is read the summaries and decide which one sounds more appealing for you. As for reading the novels themselves in their entirety, the rest of the team and I will do that,” Mark says. Sweet. Less reading for me. Although a part of me feels like I should read the whole novel to see who I’m writing with, but I’m not going to complain. For me, this whole thing seems rushed as it is Tuesday and they wanted a winner by the end of the week, but I think they made this process appear short for me so it wasn’t so much on me at once. 

I looked through all twenty summaries and found one I think fits my style more. I try to look and see who wrote it but author names are blurred out for the summaries. 

“We had the contestants block out their names on the summaries in case you knew any of them,” Blake says as if he read my mind. Weird but okay I guess.

“I like this one,” I say, handing him the summary.

“I figured you would choose that one. Congratulations we have our book contest winner,” Blake says as he takes the summary from me and picks out their book out of the stack. 

“Can I know who wrote it now?” I ask. 

“Ana Grant,” Blake replies as he continues reading the submission he is on.

Ana Grant.

Ana Grant.

Why does that name sound familiar?

Ana Grant.

Oh. 

Oh.

Oh fuck.