My world… was one of liquid fire. That’s all I could feel, all I could see, all I could think about. I was screaming, and yet there was silence. I was thrashing around, and yet my body didn’t move. My world became nothing but pain, only that feeling of pure magma pumping through my veins like a corrosive poison as it consumed me. That was my world.
I don’t know how long I was like this. It could’ve been an hour. It could’ve been years. The only constant I had was that pain, and when your entire existence is filled with nothing but pure agony, time loses meaning. There is no passage of seconds or minutes, only periods when you hurt, and periods when you hurt even more. I didn’t know where I was. Was this hell? It sure seemed like it. Had I died? Probably. Through the inferno that blazed within my body, I kept seeing the gun shot. It happens in slow motion. There’s the pissed, yet arrogant expression of my attacker as he sneers down at me. His finger slowly, so achingly slowly, coils around the trigger. I see the shell bounce out of the chamber, the miniature explosion as the gunpowder ignites, and the impact as the bullet meets my body. Everything after that is fuzzy. The only thing I can make out, the only thing I had to keep me sane in this… this hell, were four words. Let’s play a game.
Somewhere inside of me, I knew I deserved this. I knew I deserved every nanosecond, every decimal of time I spent in here, as the agony ripped me apart. I wasn’t a good person. It wasn’t as though I had been wrongly sent to Hell by God. I wasn’t confused by this outcome. Just by the fact that there was an afterlife after all. But I… I deserved this.
And yet, slowly, the pain began to lessen. It was only slight. Like if you were being crushed by 1000 tons of weight, and someone removed an ounce. But that fraction of a pound, that tiny spoonful less of agony, was like cold water given to someone dying in the desert. And soon, it lessened again, by another ounce. And another. And another.
I don’t know how long it took for the pain to end. I don’t even think I noticed when it did. It was just a sudden realization that my insides weren’t being ripped open and blended anymore.
“You can’t sleep too long, you lazy dumbo. Although I suppose it’s fine for a little longer.” A voice said, high and clear and melodious. It was beautiful. I recognized that voice. It had been my sole salvation during my centuries of suffering. I struggled to move, to open my eyes, to say something to the nameless voice that had managed to keep me sane… but nothing happened.
“Shhh.” The voice hushed softly. “Rest. You must be tired.”
And now that the voice had said something, I realized I was. Exhausted didn’t even begin to describe what I was feeling. There was a weight on me, different before. It was causing me to sink farther and farther into darkness, but I didn’t care. It was relaxing, like a heavenly bed crafted from only the finest of silk compared to what I had been going through until just recently. And then… Blessed nothingness.
My eyes slowly opened. For a long time, I didn’t know what I was looking at. It took awhile for the world - the real one - to come into focus. There was an aching headache that
pulsed just behind my my retinas, which certainly wasn’t helping. It throbbed in rhythm to a clock somewhere, the monotonous tock, tock, tock drilling into my brain like a wriggling snake.
I realized that I was looking at a white ceiling. It wasn’t a gentle white, like the snow. It was the cold, sterile white of a hospital… something which I had become all too familiar with throughout my life.
My entire body felt heavy. My arms felt like lead, and they were numb in a way that made it hard to move. When I tried to lift it, it felt like I was hoisting up a club, and I clumsily let it rest on my chest. I looked down to see an I.V drip slowly trickling fluids into my veins, making sure I had the essential nutrients while I was unconscious.
I felt like I had slept for a century.
My eyes ached, and they had crust on the outside of them, making it hard to blink. They also ached, obviously not used to the harsh glow of the bright sunshine and fluorescent light compared to the comforting darkness of my eyelids.
I slowly struggled to adjust my numb arms underneath me, doing my best to make them act like actual limbs instead of logs strapped to my shoulders. Every movement sent an ice pick stabbing into my frontal lobe and cranium, but it was manageable. Compared to the agony from before, it was like a mosquito bite, annoying but ignorable.
Finally I had managed to prop myself into a semi-sitting position. I don’t know why I forced myself to do this. I just felt the need to… move. To make sure that this was real, that this was my body. To make sure I wouldn’t return to that hellish darkness from before. Finally I found the remote to adjust my bed, and I raised it into an incline, until I could rest my back against it and look around the room. It took some work, as my fingers at the moment weren’t exactly their nimblest. I’m sure if someone saw me, they’d see someone awkwardly slamming onto the button with their palms. For a moment the thought amused me, until I realized that the person looking like an idiot was myself.
It was large. For a hospital room at least. The floors were clean - spotless, actually - to the point where the light reflected off of it almost blindingly. There was a mahogany table beside me, and on it was a large vase of large purple flowers. To the side was a door to a bathroom, presumably so the visitors didn’t have to leave. There was also a couch tucked against the wall, and I could see the button on the side that would extend it out into a comfortable bed, with mini-fridge beside it.
Money may not bring you happiness, but it certainly got you a nice hospital room.
I was alone, at least for now. The events leading up to now were a little fuzzy. Except for those last few moments. Those I remembered with perfect clarity, so clear that I could even see the individual molecules of perspiration on the alley walls. I could perfectly recall the ones who had assaulted me, down to the acne scars on their faces. I felt my fists tighten against my sheets, my knuckles turning white from the force. There was only one emotion in my body right now.
Rage.
It churned in my stomach like magma, radiating heat into the rest of my body. It bubbled through my veins, and I could feel the hatred coursing through me like poison, each beat of my heart giving me another dose. I knew, in that moment, that if I were given the chance, I would kill
them. They had shot me and left me to die. My jaw clenched so hard I thought my teeth would shatter. I was having a hard time collecting myself, something which was quite rare indeed.
I wanted to kill them. Slowly. As painfully as possible. I wanted to slowly skin strips of flesh from their bodies, pour bleach into the open wounds, and then let flies lay their maggots in the exposed flesh. I wanted to watch as their faces twisted up, as they experienced even a tenth of the pain I had, as their skin turned blue from poison. But I couldn’t. There was no outlet for my rage and hatred. Instead it simmered within me, festering. I felt like a volcano. I felt like I would explode if I didn’t vent this onto someone, or something. It was a greedy monster that I knew would rip me apart from the inside out, until I let it loose. But I had nothing to set it free.
“That’s a nice expression.” I nearly jumped out of my skin when this voice suddenly rang out beside me, snapping me out of my thoughts. My head whipped to the side to see the owner of this voice, whom I hadn’t even heard enter, and was shocked to see… a little girl.
Moreover, it wasn’t just any little girl… it was the one I had seen in my hellish nightmares for who knows how long. The indescribably, world destroying beautiful child whose eyes seemed to contain the entire universe within their depths. She was sitting next to me in a cushioned mahogany chair that seemed way too big for her. Her legs dangled over the side in an almost adorable manner, but despite that, I didn’t dare to treat her how she looked. This was twice now she had appeared seemingly out of thin air, and while I wasn’t of the superstitious sort - I was much too intelligent for that mess - even I had to admit she wasn’t quite normal.
She was staring at me, those awe inspiringly intelligent eyes of hers gazing at me as if I were the sole patch of color in a grey world. For a few moments I forgot how to speak. Finally, the words came to me.
“You’re here?” I whispered, almost in awe. Which said a lot, considering I didn’t view many things with respect.
She giggled a little bit, the sound more musical then wind chimes in the breeze. “Well of course I am silly! If I weren’t here, where else would I be?” She said in a teasing tone. I opened my mouth to try to continue our conversation, but she pushed her finger against my lips. “Not yet. A nurse is coming. We’ll pick up where we left off later. I’m sure you must have a lot of questions.”
And with that she disappeared. I had to blink a few times to register that it even happened. There was no flash of light, no poof, no sound. One moment she was there, the next she was gone, erased from existence. Even the chair had been moved back under the table.
“Maybe I really am going crazy…” I muttered. At least, until I heard the door handle click open.
“Alright Fitser, I hope you’re having a good dream. It’s time t-” The nurse, a petite girl with fiery red hair, walked in with a sunny smile, carrying a small tray. She may have been coming to administer my food, no doubt liquidized to make it easier for consumption in my unconscious state. But when she saw me not only awake, but propped into an awkward sitting position, she stopped short, her sentence dying before it finished. She blinked at me for a few moments, as if trying to take in what was happening, to make sure she wasn’t imagining things.
Than, her hair swirling into a ginger cloud through the air, she turned and practically bolted out the door.
“DOCTOR!” She shouted, and I saw her rush down the hallway, most likely towards the main reception area. To be honest, the way she had acted shocked me.
I wonder how long I’ve been unconscious. The thought both amused and terrified me. I wondered if anyone at my school had even noticed my absence. I secretly hoped they hadn’t. But I knew three particular individuals who definitely had…
I turned to the sound of rapid footsteps, 6 of them in total, two walking in perfect unison while the third was all but jogging to keep up. Almost immediately, I saw the owners of those footsteps step through the door.
Two of them were males, one African American, and the other Latino, although his skin was a bit lighter than I had seen before. And, trailing just behind them, was the fiery haired nurse who had no doubt been having a very calm, peaceful day before she had discovered myself to be awake.
Seeing me sitting up and staring at them, the Latino gave me a bright smile. He was handsome in a smooth sort of way, though he wasn’t feminine at all. His teeth were all perfect, and I could swear I saw one of them sparkle like in a toothpaste commercial. The African American merely blinked, his dark eyes registering my apparent perfect clarity with a glance, though he did look a bit surprised.
“Hello, Mr. Gerelda”. The Latino man said, that flawless smile twinkling in the bright room as he strode in with confidence, as if this weren’t our first time speaking, and he had in fact been coming to visit me every day since my admittance to the hospital. “I’m glad to see that you’re finally awake.”
I nodded at him, trying to glean as much knowledge as I could before I spoke. I had always lived by the rules of ‘speak less, listen more’. If you were unsure of a situation, say nothing at all, but take everything in. By the way the girl had reacted, I assumed I had been out for quite some time.
By now the doctor had reached my side, and had picked up a clipboard that was hooked to the back of my bed. He thumbed through it so fast I doubted he could register any of the information, until he reached a certain part.
“Fitser Gerelda, admitted to the hospital on May 29th, 12:07 A.M. An anonymous call came from the DownTown area of New York, requesting an ambulance for a critically injured person. You arrived to the hospital with two gunshot wounds, one to the back of the shoulder, the other to the stomach, as well as three fractured ribs, a dislocated shoulder, broken wrist and femur, and bruising throughout the body. CAT scans indicated heavy trauma to the brain, suspected to be by a blow to the head, resulting in a concussion and minor swelling of the frontal lobe.” He read off the information with gusto, as if he were instead glancing at the sports section of a newspaper, not the rap sheet for someone who almost died.
He continued to read other information, including past medical history, times spent to the hospital, times X-Rayed, so and and so forth. Occasionally he would glance at me, his eyebrows raising higher as he kept reading. Finally he reached the end, setting it down on the table next to me and shaking his head.
“You’ve lived an eventful life, Mr. Gerelda.” He said, flashing me that toothpaste smile once before his eyebrows creased together. “Forgive me, I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Toni Garcia. I’ve been the one primarily in charge for overseeing your treatment. The
gentlemen to my right,” He indicated to the African American, who was still standing silently to the side, watching me with rapt attention, “is my intern, Trevon Alexander. You’ll have to forgive him if he isn’t very talkative, he’s deaf.”
If he had expected any sort of reaction from me at this information, I must’ve sorely disappointed him. Instead I continued to look at the trio quietly. Quickly realizing that I wasn’t going to say anything, Mr. Garcia cleared his throat, before gesturing to the red haired nurse from before. “And this is the woman who’s been taking care of you for the duration of your stay here, Ms. Cassidy. She tends not to like me giving out her first name, I apologize for that.”
I gazed at the three of them, looking at them each in turn before finally speaking. “How long have I been here?” I asked, and Mr. Garcia nodded.
“A common first question. The date is currently June 30th, 2019.” He said it quietly, as if that would make the news any easier. Contrary to his expectations, however, I heaved a sigh of relief.
“So it’s only been a month.” I said, and it was as if a weight had fallen off of my chest. Mr. Garcia blinked in surprise at my optimism, before nodding slowly.
“Yes, it’s only been a month.” He confirmed, before pulling out a chair. The same chair the girl had been sitting in. “I’m going to be honest with you, Mr. Gerelda: It’s a miracle that you’re alive. By the time you had arrived at the hospital, you’d already lost a substantial, and in most cases fatal, amount of blood. The bullet had pierced your stomach lining, and acid was leaking out into the surrounding tissue. Those two issues alone, let alone all of your broken bones and bruised organs, would’ve been enough to kill most grown men, let alone someone with a meek frame such as yourself.” He peered into my eyes, as if what he was about to tell me was the most important thing I had at the moment.
“I don’t believe in God, Mr. Gerelda. I think he is something humankind has created as an excuse for our behaviour. But if there were one, I’d say that he held his hand over you. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had snatched your soul and crammed it back into your body. Your heart stopped once during surgery.”
The news shocked me. I had been aware that my injuries were severe, but not that severe. Although I had to admit, anything to put me into a coma for a month was no doubt much more than a light scrape. I processed the information silently, gazing into my hands, still clenched hard from before. I worked to relax them, before turning back to Mr. Garcia.
“When can I take my final exams?” I asked, and he stiffened. He just stared at me, shock freezing his facial expression into something that was nearly comical. Finally he started laughing, his shoulders heaving up and down from the movement. The nurse was staring at me as if I were crazy, and even Mr. Alexander was chuckling a little bit.
“I see, I suppose that you are a student after all. On a scholarship program, I believe. Very well.” He clapped his hands together, standing up and pushing the chair back under the table. He turned back around to face me, a warm smile on his face. “We’ll still have to keep you in hospital care for the next month or so, I’m afraid. That’s the earliest we’d be able to release you. Fortunately, your school has already arranged an administer to arrive as soon as you were fit to take the test. We’ll call him in a few days, see if we can’t get him down here. But before that, we’ll have to run a check-up on you. Make sure your condition for the most part is stable,
that the stress of waking up hasn’t re-opened any wounds. The police would also like a statement from you, see if they can’t catch the people who did this.”
As he talked he was writing something down, before he handed it to the nurse, who took it with a nod and left, though a little more relaxed than last time. He looked back up at me, his eyes crinkling. “I have to say, Mr. Gerelda, I am very happy to see that you’ve awoken. If I’m being perfectly honest, I requested personally to treat you.”
The words surprised me. Seeing my expression, his own turned into one of gratitude. Gratitude for something that I didn’t know I had done.
“You saved my niece from something horrific.” He answered my unasked question quietly. If I had been surprised before, I was shocked to my core. He winked at me. “Fate works in mysterious ways, Mr. Gerelda. You just happened to be admitted to the hospital where I worked, and just happened to have saved my niece. The ‘anonymous’ call was from her.” At this he lowered his head slightly.
“Truly, thank you for saving her, from the bottom of my heart.” He murmured. At a loss for what to do, I looked towards Mr. Alexander, hoping for some guidance. He simply nodded towards me, before turning around and walking out.
“Please, Mr. Garcia, don’t lower your head to me.” I said quietly, turning to look at his tall figure. “I… don’t especially like gratitude.”
He straightened, beaming me that perfect smile. “Even so, thank you. I’ll be back shortly. I have some paperwork to fill out, but once that’s done, we’ll run a few tests, just to make sure you won’t keel over and die on us when we’re not looking.” He chuckled at his own joke, turning around and walking out of the room.
“Playing the hero, huh?” I muttered to myself, looking at my hands, the small palms and spindly fingers facing the ceiling. It wasn’t a role I had been in for quite some time. I had lived the last few years of my life fading into the background. But in spite of the knowledge that I had done something good, that someone had just thanked me with all of their being, I wasn’t moved in the slightest. In fact…
An image flashed through my mind, golden hair swishing in the wind, a gentle breeze that seemed to tug at my clothes, as if hoping to guide me to the edge. And I heard someone calling my na-
I shook my head, the pain clearing away the memory before it could surface. There were some things that were better left unremembered, buried deep within the recesses of the mind. And that was one of them.
I silently gazed out of the window next to me, watching as a little girl was being wheeled away in a chair by a young couple, flowers clutched to her chest. From the looks of it, she had just been released from the hospital. I watched them walk along the long, winding pathway, trees rustling slightly in the wind, until they got to the parking lot. I watched as they lifted her into their car, storing the wheelchair in the trunk. One big happy family. The thought brought a slight frown to my face.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Gerelda.” A deep voice rumbled, different from the one who had been talking to me before. I turned to look at the owner, a stout black man that had an easy smile on his face, and glasses that seemed to fit him perfectly. He was short, possibly only a few inches taller than I was, which was by no means any sort of accomplishment. But despite
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his height, I could see his rippling biceps even through the bulky standard issue white coat of his trade.
Behind him was the nurse from before and Mr. Garcia, who was pushing an empty wheelchair.
The new doctor reached out a hand, so I took it, surprised by his gentle grip. “My name is Stanley Smith. You can just call me Stan, the rest of the patients here do.” He said, flashing me a white smile that was even more blinding than Mr. Garcia. Trying not to wince at the beaming headlights being directed into my eyes.
“Nice to meet you.” I replied, before looking at the wheelchair with a little apprehension. “You’re not expecting me to…”
He gave me an apologetic grin, nodding his head. “I’m afraid so. Your body’s too weak to handle strenuous pressure as of right now, and your legs been fractured in two different places. Walking, even with crutches, is an out for you right now. So…”
Mr. Garcia patted the chair, laughing. “You get a free ride. Think of it as the corinthian leather of a ferrari, it’ll help.”
I sighed, left with no choice but to accept my fate. “Fine.” I muttered, discontent already welling up within me. I fought down the urge to hiss as he picked me up, the sudden motion sending a knife into my brain and twisting. He set me onto the chair, and together, the four of us exited the room.
The rest of the day crawled by uneventfully. The doctors ran multiple tests, testing my cognitive speed, my reflexes, my physical condition in my conscious state. After that I was introduced to a psychiatrist, a thin man with a kind face who appeared to be in his late 30’s. They assessed my mental state, asking me generic questions that at first glance may seem to have major significance, but on closer inspection were just your run-of-the-mill psych evaluation problems. I, of course, answered what was expected of me. Which certainly wasn’t the truth, just lies that I had long since learned would placate humanity.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, I was admitted back into my own hospital room. Stan told me that the police would be here in the morning, wanting an official statement from me, as well as my account of things. He also said that I would have a few visitors, the thought of which I dreaded tremendously. The only visitor I could think of that would possibly want to meet me was my grandfather, and the image of that particular scenario twisted my stomach into a tight knot.
Just as he was about to leave, I mentioned my headache.
“It shouldn’t be anything overly serious.” He said, his expression one of mild concern. “But if it gets any worse, or it’s not gone by tomorrow, let us know, and we’ll prescribe some medication.”
And with that he was gone, and I was alone with the dim light of a lamp in the corner, the glow illuminating just enough to make the room entirely visible, but not so bright that I would have trouble sleeping, as long as I turned my back on it. I let the events of the day wash over me. The girl I had saved was Mr. Garcia’s niece. An odd coincidence, but nothing quite spectacular. I was, for the most part, healthy. With the exceptions of my broken leg and wrist of course, but other than that, I was doing much better than expected.
But still, throughout the day, I had been accompanied by a familiar, and very uncomfortable feeling: boredom. Life had begun to stagnate once more. These people weren’t unique or interesting. They were nearly the same as every other doctor I had met. They even told the same droll jokes that had long since lost their flavour. I had responded correctly to every question they asked, made all the conversation that was proper to be considered a “normal” human being. Throughout the day, I had been hoping for… something. Anything to recapture those few moments of excitement I had finally experienced that night. And yet, nothing happened. These people were exactly the same as all the others. This world, was once again...
“Completely, utterly boring.” A voice chimed in, finishing my thoughts, but my reaction wasn’t nearly so strong as it was the first time. Instead I looked to find the girl once again seated in the chair, looking at me with those startlingly bright eyes. She tilted her head, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Is what you’re thinking, right?”
I stared at her for a few moments, before a smile of my own tugged at my lips. “Indeed.” I answered, almost mimicking her own speech patterns. “I had been starting to find the day quite stale.”
“How interesting. I have to say, you’re possibly one of the most amusing humans I’ve met in a long time. Most others would be grateful that they had even survived, let alone be unsatisfied with the fact that their lives weren’t as action-packed as that moment.”
“Yes, you may be right about that.” I sighed, already tired of replicating her way of speaking, returning to my own default sarcastic tone. My eyes narrowed slightly as I looked at her. “I suppose I should ask the most immediate question: who are you?”
The grin widened just the tiniest little bit. “We’ve already had this conversation before. Don’t you remember?” She questioned, her gentle voice holding the slightest tone of teasing to it.
I shook my head. “No.” I replied, relaxing against the bed, and looking up at the ceiling. “My memory is a bit murky right now.” It was like a fog that even the strongest ray of sun couldn’t penetrate through. Every time tried to pry my way into my brain, the headache returned, slowly pulsing behind my eyes and making me wince. “I only remember you being there. I don’t remember our conversation, only… you said something to me. Something about a game.”
I turned back to see her beaming at me. “Well, there’s no helping it I suppose.” She said cheerfully, bouncing onto her feet and climbing onto my bed. I frowned at her, but didn’t say anything, as she sat down opposite of me indian style, her hands resting in her lap. Her eyes peered into my own, her mouth parting slightly, and she said her next words with deliberate care, pronunciating each of them slowly. “I am God’s Will.”
I blinked once, the words hanging in the air with a weight to them that wasn’t easy to accept. One part of me, a large part actually, was screaming bullshit. That there was no God, let alone a Will. And yet… here she was. Sitting across from me, her presence so natural that the thought of her not being here was honestly more odd, as if this were where she belonged.
“Are you the one who saved me?” I asked, and she brought her hand to her chin, as if in deep thought.
“Save is a relative term.” She muttered, her index finger softly tapping against her cheek with a slow, almost hypnotic rhythm. “Am I the one who called the ambulance? No, the girl you
helped escape did that. Did I keep your injuries from killing you? Yes, I am indeed the one who did. However… you’re not the same as you used to be.”
At this I frowned, straightening my back. “I’m not the same? Yeah, I’d assume being shot and beaten would do that to a person.” I replied, though my tone wasn’t angry or impatient in the slightest. In fact, it wasn’t even detached as it usually was. A word to describe it was… interested. Like a scholar who had found a rare book that held answers to most of his problems in life. This girl, I knew, was the key to everything I had pleaded for.
A cure for my boredom.
In just three meetings, she had thoroughly intrigued me. The mystery of who, and what, she was fascinated me. And then there was the fact that she saved my life.
She shook her head, snorting softly. “No dummy, I’m not talking about mentally, although that may come into effect later. I’m talking about… physically. On a biological level.”
“And that means…”
She paused, fingers once again tapping away. Perhaps others would have found it adorable. I just found it odd for “God’s Will” to have such an obvious quirky trait. “I suppose that explaining to you would be rather hard. Perhaps a demonstration would be more appropriate?”
She crawled up to me, moving quicker then a squirrel, so fast that I didn’t even have time to register what was happening. Her hand flashing out at a speed I was sure bullets would’ve had a hard time matching, she rested her fingertips on my forehead. They were warm, and unbelievably soft. But what she did next would quickly deter me from ever touching those fingers again.
“Initiate Beta-Tester.” The words came out softly, and yet they carried a weight to them that even the world itself seemed incapable of ignoring. For a few moments, nothing happened. And than…
“AAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!” I howled, instantly bucking my hips and thrashing around in my bed. My legs crashed against the side handles that ensured I stayed secure, rattling the steel in their frames, but I didn’t care. Because the only thing that had my mind occupied at the moment was searing hot agony.
It was so bad that it turned my vision into a harsh white, blinding me instantly. The dull throb that had been my constant ever since I had awoken was now a boiling cauldron of melted lead, frying my brain and boiling my eyes in their sockets. I felt my body roll over the handles and thump onto the floor, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except for the pain. It consumed me, hungrier than any beast alive. The only thing I had to compare it to was the Hell that had been my consciousness before I had awoken. I vaguely heard something crash down onto the floor beside me, but I didn’t care.
I rolled around, desperately trying to claw into face to dig out the source of my torment. I didn’t care if it was my brain, it had to get out. But before I could do any damage, I felt cool, yet firm hands grab my wrist, pushing them into my chest. I kicked out at my attacker. Their touch was ice, but it brought no relief to the heated iron boiling inside of my skull. Finally, all I could do was curl in on myself. I was sobbing. I didn’t care how I looked, I didn’t give a damn about my dignity. The only thing that mattered was the pain. It was just as bad as before I had awoken, the only difference being my body was reacting to it, instead of being forced to endure it in silence.
Each second was a decade, each minute a millennium. Finally, after what felt like eons, the pain slowly began to subside, and with it, control of my body returned. Soon there was nothing, only a gentle coolness that soothed my aching muscles. After a few moments, my eyes fluttered open, damp with my tears. I was vaguely aware of someone rubbing my back, like a mother would do for their sickly child as he fought an illness, or as a lover did after a night of partying as they threw up into the toilet.
I slowly relaxed my muscles, my body straightening. I was shaking, trembling in fact, and yet… I felt good. Weak, unbelievably weak, and yet somehow strong. There was a clarity in my mind that hadn’t been there before.
I blinked a few times to see my tormentor and saviour smiling down at me, both angelic and demonic at the same time. “You were the cause of my pain when I was unconscious?” I croaked, my throat sore.
She nodded. “It was necessary.” Was all the answer she gave, before helping me up back into bed. She was strong for her size. But then again, from now on, I would never judge her on her appearance alone. She had firmly placed herself as someone that was a very large threat to my life in my mind, and all of my instincts were now screaming at me not to anger this strange being.
I managed to crawl into my bed, and she picked up the mahogany table- which was what most likely had fallen to the floor - and rolled it back next to me. Thankfully the wood hadn’t been scratched too badly in the scuffle. The vase, on the other hand, was a different story. It was laying in shattered pieces on the floor, the water slowly oozing along the ground and the flower petals blanketing the ground with a gentle purple.
I was staring around the room, but with a focus I hadn’t been able to grasp onto, even before my incident. It was as if my mind was clear, devoid of the distractions it had been burdened with before, even the unnoticeable ones. Now I could see all the individual shards of pottery that sprinkled the pool of water. If I stared hard enough, I could make out the veins within the flower petals.
My head swiveled back to God’s Will. There was a change in how I viewed her, so drastic that even I noticed it. Whereas before I had seen her as a mere curiosity, an interesting thing that I wanted to study, there was now awe and reverence. She was no longer simply something akin to interest. Instead, the most accurate description was… a deity.
“What did you do to me?” I whispered, but there was no blame, no accusation. She smiled, her eyes sparkling in the lamplight, her beauty something even the most fantastical spots on earth would have a hard time comparing to.
“I have to say, I’m a quite impressed. It only took you 30 minutes to recover from your Initiation. Others take hours, sometimes even days… but you have officially been approved as a Beta-Tester.” She answered, and confusion caused my eyebrows to furrow.
“I don’t understand.” I said. “You keep saying Beta-Tester, but I don’t know what that means. What exactly are we testing?”
Her smile spread even further. Her next words were spoken softly, but they nearly caused my brain to short-circuit. “You are going to participate in a pet project I’ve been creating for a while now. I suppose, in simpler terms, from now on your life is going to be like an RPG.”
My mind froze. Even despite her display from earlier, I couldn’t comprehend it. My life was going to be a game? Was this some sort of joke?
“Could you elaborate?” I muttered, still in a daze, and she nodded.
“From now on, you will receive notifications from time to time. These notifications will range from quests, to messages from God’s Soul - I don’t have time to explain that right now, just think of God’s Soul as my boss - , but will mostly be quests. The quests will be ranked accordingly: Petty, Common, Uncommon, Extraordinary, Epic, Rare, Legendary, and finally, Immortal. Completing quests will provide varying rewards, depending on the type of mission, objective, difficulty, and rank. Of course, completing a quest will also provide you guaranteed experience. And, as with any game, when you gain enough experience, you will level up.”
I stared at er, wide-eyed, listening to her explanation although just barely hearing her. “So… what you’re saying is… I’ve essentially become a real life RPG character?” I asked meekly, and she clapped her hands, squealing.
“Precisely!” She exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with what could only be called relief. “You’re so smart. It took ages for the others to finally figure it out.”
To be honest, my reality was still being destroyed too much for me to care if she was being sarcastic or not, or to even process those words.
When she noticed my silence, she nodded to herself. “Right, right, I guess that words alone are hardly convincing. No helping it.” She paused, then lifted her hand slightly. “Show Status Card!”
In reaction to her words, a little purple box, no longer or thicker than a standard sheet of paper, sprang into the air with a little ding. She let her finger rest on the edge of it before flicking to the side, causing the floating box to swivel.
I could only stare down at it, wide-eyed and breathless, as stats, actual stats, like rpg style STATS, greeted me.
God's Will (Nickname ???)
Rank: ???
Level: ???
Skills Perks Titles Stats ??? God's Will ???
After reading over it, I looked back to her, licking my lips, almost afraid to voice my thoughts in case it wasn’t true. “Do I have one as well?” I whispered, my voice so quiet even I could barely hear it.
She giggled, rolling her eyes. “Of course you do silly! Why wouldn’t you?” She asked, as if the answer were the most obvious thing in the world. “Honestly, you guys ask that every single time.”
As she was talking, I was already raising my hands, practically trembling from eagerness. “Status Card!” I shouted, just a little too loudly. I was typically in better control then this. But RPG’s had always held a special place in my otherwise empty heart, and even the slightest possibility of one becoming my reality had me shivering.
In response to my command, a purple box, just like the one from before, popped into being. The key difference, of course, was that it was mine. I looked over it hungrily, my eyes greedily absorbing the information.
Fitzer Gerelda
Rank: 1
Level: 1
Skills
Perks
Titles
Stats
Analyze: lvl 1 (0%)
None
Blood of the Old Gods
Beauty: 17
None
Curse of the Banished
Vitality: 14
The Beta-Tester
Endurance: 13
None
Physique: 10
Agility: 13
Charisma: 9
Intelligence: 42
Wisdom: 41
I frowned at my stats, eyeing them with distaste. Although I had nothing to reference it comparatively to, I had the feeling they weren’t exactly astounding. But then again, considering how I compared in reality, I figured it wasn’t a stretch by any means.
But that wasn’t what really garnered my attention. What really intrigued me were my three Titles and my single Skill.
As if reading my mind, God’s Will spoke up. “You can select a specific stat or category by clicking on it with your fingers.” She said, and I nodded absent mindedly, maneuvering my spindly digits to delve deeper into my own profile.
Blood of the Old Gods and Curse of the Banished were both extremely powerful sounding Titles, but I had no idea of what they did or how they affected me. When I clicked on the window, I was surprised to feel a solid surface. It felt smooth, like glass, but it was pleasantly warm. Unfortunately, clicking on either of these titles proved a waste of time. The only things listed under them were question marks. My third title, on the other hand, was a completely different story.
The Beta-Tester Description: You have been selected to be a part of God's Beta Test. As to what this is or what it means, you have no clue. In fact, you're not even sure how you got invited. But who cares! You're in! Woohoo!
Grade: Origin
Requirements:
Encounter God's Will
Earn her approval
Effects:
Bonus 2 Stat Points with every lvl up
Earn +100% more exp than normal from slain enemies and completed Quests
+50% Chance of item drops
+30% Gold Dropped from monsters
Unique Instances, Dungeons, and Quests available
???
???
“This…” I grumbled, not quite believing what I was seeing. I felt my eye twitching, whether out of disbelief or anger at this injustice though I didn’t know. Wasn’t this a little too broken? God’s Will, apparently having guessed what I was looking at, only chortled.
“We’re very partial to our Beta-Testers. They are tremendously important to the development of our little pet project.” She said, and I couldn’t help but give a bitter laugh. So it turned out even God had favourites…
Exiting out of that category, I instead looked at my single Skill. What I saw depressed me a little bit, but that was fine. At least I had something to work with besides two useless Titles and a completely OP one.
Analyze Description: The skill to look at things and see through even their most innermost secrets lvl 1 (0%)
Requirements
Base Intelligence: 35
(If base intelligence is not met) Skill Book
Current Abilities
View the name of an object or player
View the level of the player
View their Stats
View the Stats of a weapon
(Increase in level will increase effectiveness of abilites, as well as add new ones)
Cost
Using this Skill consumes 5% of stamina. Stamina consumption will decrease with lvl.
Should you try to Analyze something with a higher level than the Skill, stamina consumption will increase, and Analyze may not be fully effective.
I shrugged, deciding to test it out. “Analyze.” I said, my command hovering in the air. I paused for a few moments, waiting for something to happen. Finally laughter rang out, the kind one would hear someone give when they saw their friend doing something really stupid.
I glanced at her, slightly annoyed. “What?” I demanded, impatient.
“You have to think it, not say it. And you have to have a specific target in mind. How dumb would it be if everyone shouted out what they were going to do before they did it? It’d be pretty redundant right?” She asked, shaking her head with pity, as if I were a dog she had seen chasing my tail. I ground my teeth in annoyance, but decided not to say anything.
Instead, I kept my eyes on her, making sure I kept a mental image of her in my mind as clear as I could. Analyze I commanded, and instantly there was a click, something inside of me resonating with the thought. Instantly a green bar appeared in the corner of my vision, so natural that after seeing it I knew it belonged there, it had belonged there all along.
But what happened next was nothing natural at all.
I watched in alarm as that green bar rapidly depleted, going from ¾ full to empty in less then a second. Instantly exhaustion overwhelmed me, making my body sag into itself and my vision to go hazy at once. A message popped up, a clear contrast to the quickly darkening world around me.
Attempt to analyze God's Will failed. Could not determine lvl. Could not determine Stats.
Due to difference in level, stamina consumption has been increased to 100%.
“D’aw, you just tried to Analyze me, didn’t you?” I heard her say, but her voice was distant, faint. It was muffled as well, and my foggy mind was having trouble deciphering the words. “I can’t blame you for your curiosity, but you really should’ve known better.”
I struggled to speak, to do something, anything. But the fatigue was dragging me down into unconsciousness, the exhaustion like iron chains that were slowly pulling me down to the bottom of the ocean. By now the only thing I could see were vague shapes, the edges of my vision starting to grow black. But even still, through that, I saw her sitting over me.
“I know that you still have a lot of questions.” Her voice was so quiet now that I had to strain to make it out over the sound of my breathing, which was gradually getting deeper and more even as the seconds passed. “Unfortunately, our time has been cut short. We’ll resume our little chat tomorrow. But for now, just rest. You’ve earned it.”
And then… dark silence.