"Behold!" Wiesse shouted, taking on a dramatic persona and theatrically presenting his find "the greatest pair of tits in the land!" The buxom lady giggled with a practised shrill that failed to hide her disdain, but for the most part the brothel worker played along as Wiesse presented the breasts to his friend like a merchant peddling his stalls goods.
Ross raised his head from its stupor for a glance before wearily returning it to the table with an exaggerated sigh of sadness "I'm familiar with the best tits in the land Wiesse, we've been travelling with them for a turn now" with a thumb he pointed at two of their comrades, the oiled up Troit who seemed to take the near naked ladies of the establishment as an indication he could strip down to a furry loin cloth; the tall muscular dimwit had a number of ladies pawing at him and running their hands through his long blonde hair. The scrawny Yerin however, much his counterpart bundled beneath his thick cloak, and actively trying to hide his warty face, had the attention of only one lady, who he was paying substantially large amounts to. Luckily for their troupe Yerin only ever spent stolen or forged coins. He could bankrupt a person while trying to pay for affections.
"Oh, sugar what's got you down?" The woman persisted as Wiesse slipped a silver into her hand and sent her towards his gloomy friend with a pat on the bottom.
"I have lost my love, fair lady and with her the want for another’s touch." Ross said, adopting a similar brand of grandiose theatrics as his childhood friend Wiesse "for when my fair maiden learnt of my passion she scorned me, and left me by the wayside where I may as well still be, dead, for that is how I feel"
"Nice" Wiesse chimed in mockingly, the pair had grown up together in theatre troupes and Ross had never quite left the dramatic persona behind.
"Oh, how terrible" the lady said, somehow mispronouncing every word whilst her eyes scouted the room for other, paying customers, she didn't try to hide her bored expression.
It was then that their only other companion joined them, the table bent at his weight as he took up the majority of the remaining space on the attached bench. Subtlety was not Lichter's strong point, but for a Kkyrunnig, one of the animal folks from the Eisenweld, it was far from surprising. The nine-foot crocodile man lumped a hefty hand on Ross's shoulder and leaned his impressive mouth into the conversation.
"forget his whining, fine wench, he's just pissed off that the three locals he's been screwing knew each other" Lichter’s voice was gravelly although surprisingly high pitched, and each sentence he speaks gets punctuated by the smacking together of his large jaws.
"Busted!" Wiesse added, enjoying the banter, while Ross groaned and returned to his tipsy slumber
"Now lemme see these titties" Lichter purred as his eyes tried to work together to centralise in front of him, the abnormal pupils lit up as he finally found them
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
"Oh yes!" He proclaimed when he finally focussed on them and he scratched at his wide belly while his feet skittered about, a strange habit that Wiesse had seen him conduct for both whores and food, and he wasn’t entirely sure that Lichter didn’t see them both in the same way.
The lady for the most part kept her cool, though her face was contorted in horror at this near alien presence to these lands, rare for Kkyrunnig to travel so far without being part of a circus, this was the first one she would have to speak too
"You like what you see umm sir?" all the shrill practiced allure to her voice suddenly absent.
"I want to lick them" he responded giddily further worrying Wiesse
"Are you even anatomically capable of appreciating breasts Lich'?"
"They're like big old eggs" a loping tongue wetted Lichter’s sharp teeth “It reminds me of a birthing!” The idea made Wiesse wretch as he suddenly remembered the one horrific instance when he walked in on the man-croc ‘going at it’ with a whore, anatomically capable he remembered and also disgusting.
"Ok, ew" the lady chimed in "you want to touch them you got to pay but these ain't no eggs sugar pie"
Lichter pawed at his long jaw "Wiesse my boy, gimme some coin"
Wiesse flipped the Kkyrunig off "where's your purse fat boy, eaten it again?"
"Yea"
Even Ross lifted his head to add a 'What?' To the chorus of confused voices
"Some grunts nabbed it while I was having a shit out front" Lichter stated matter-of-factly
"Eurgh, we got toilets!" The lady said disgusted and stomped away
The Kkyrunnig eyed up her retreating backside with one of his eyes "Anyway, I ate him, but forgot to get the purse off him first" he said with a chuckle, turning his attention to a jug of ale, pouring all its contents into his gaping maw and smacking his lips together contently, “I’ll get it again soon, just give it a while” he chuckled and patted his rotund stomach.
“You never cease to amaze and disturb me Lichter. Well you can wait till your next bowel movement, ‘cos I ain’t paying for you” Wiesse chimed, giving a sceptical look into his own drink. He took a swig and spat it out, dousing Ross as he did “Wait a damned moment, did you say you ate someone?”
“Well, only a small one” Lichter said, continuing to chuckle and feel around blindly for another ale, his head tossing from side to side his eyes barely aiding him, he settled for Ross’s untouched beverage “Oh and a half”
Ross flapped away his stolen pint disinterested in more ale “How do you eat half a person?”
“Well my eyes always have been bigger than my belly!” With this Lichter slapped at his girth and bellowed a roaring laugh which got most of the building’s attention. Troit, oblivious to proceedings raised a glass to his friends’ laughter, eliciting giggles and shouts from his collective ladies.
Ross bewildered, shook his head “I mean what did you do with the other half?”
Lichter shrugged and tossed his now empty drink jug behind him “I threw it into some bushes”
"You idiot, did anyone see you?" Wiesse said, but the sentence was concluded with the sound of the door being kicked open and all of a sudden, a terrified local, flanked by town guards, was pointing a shaky hand at the nine-foot crocodile man.
“Guess So” the Kkyrunnig said
"Shit" Wiesse spat and a shout rung out from behind as Troit declared “No one arrests my friends!” then all of a sudden, from the corner of Wiesse’s eyes a well-oiled mostly naked idiot was throwing himself at the troops, wielding a table leg.