“…and so today will be your last day with the company,” said Julie, a smirk on her face. I was sitting at my desk in the open space floor plan at the office, looking at the screen where she was coming through over a Zoom call. She hadn’t even booked a conference room for this meeting. Why did I have to come into the office? The “I’m here for you” virtual Zoom background was flashing its sickeningly friendly corporate colors at me from behind her. She must have selected it on purpose for this call. “This will be short,” she said when we started the call. Who ever heard of being fired so publicly?

“I’m going to pause here to see if you have any questions,” she said.

I was breathing hard, trying to get myself under control. I grabbed Squeezimodo, my stress ball, off the desk. This was my first job out of college, the place where I learned about great advertisement campaigns. This was where I created award-winning slogans and designs and helped companies achieve brand recognition. The day started so normally. I was working on a campaign for a client, trying to portray for the umpteenth time how their energy drink was so much better than everyone else’s, how it was unique, and how it stood out. I’d just finished doing this on a campaign for a new brand of chips as if their potatoes walked on water. Come to think of it, the campaign before that was for water. So many years of my life down the drain.

Compressing the ball so hard that my fingers turned white, I looked at Julie and said, “Fuck you! This is what twenty years of service gets me? You’re so spineless you couldn’t come down here and talk to me face to face?” The few people who came in on Wednesday looked over.

“I’m very busy. I just wanted to let you know personally.” There was that smirk again. She hugged herself, her thumbs extended. Zoom took that moment to identify the gesture as two thumbs up and celebrated with virtual fireworks.

Squeeze. I slammed my other hand down on the table. Even through the Zoom call, Julie’s face retreated from the camera, her large earrings bouncing around her cheeks.

“Amy will walk you out, Joe. We will ship your stuff over, so you don’t need to pack. Goodbye.” With that, she ended the call.

I stared at the blank screen. Amy, who had been hovering over my shoulder, was thankfully silent for the moment. The human resource specialist’s reflection on my screen seemed as lost as I was. I tried to digest what had just happened. My life in marketing at BBM had come to an end. I looked around the desk, trying to think through the blood hammering in my head. I had Squeezimodo in one hand. It was going to get its money’s worth of exercise today.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

I grabbed one of the trophies I received for past ad campaigns and threw it as hard as I could at the wall. They could take the cost of the paint off my last paycheck. The trophy bounced off the wall and slammed into a window. Glass shattered, and I saw the base of the trophy stick halfway out the window.

I walked towards the elevators, not caring if Amy followed behind me.

“I’m so sorry, Joe,” she said in a soft voice as she caught up. “I’m sure you’ll find a place that’s a better fit for you.”

“I’m going to drink myself to oblivion, then sue the company, Amy.” My hand was still squashing Squeezimodo violently. I could barely hear her over the sound of the thump thump thump in my ears. I forcefully slowed down my breathing, just like those anger management classes had taught me.

Knowing I was going to meet Julie today, I wore the pair of pants I’d constructed so painstakingly over the years. The ones I’d patched all over. I knew she hated them. They’d been the cause of a number of our special meetings. The fact that we had met over Zoom meant I was robbed of a last chance to rub them in her face since she only saw my face.

We were passing by the intern area, where Jaxon just-like-Jason-but-with-an-X was just getting in after clearly playing a morning bout of pickleball. He and his new AI mumbo jumbo were the reason I no longer had a job. What he could do with those AI tools replaced me and a few other marketers and still gave him enough time to play around. The asshole. Jaxon waved at me.

Squeeze.

I felt eyes on me as we walked, but I just stared ahead and ignored everyone. We quietly waited for the elevator. Amy’s pitying stare bounced off the polished door at me, but I just concentrated on not blowing up. Not blowing up further. Anger Management 101. 102. 103.

The elevator was playing Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Getting Back Together.” It deposited us into the lobby, where Amy took my badge. “We’ll send everything over this afternoon,” she said.

I exited the building. The morning traffic had subsided, and the street wasn’t too busy. Stepping out onto the sidewalk, I reached for my phone to call for a ride home and remembered it was still on my desk upstairs. I tried to walk back in but no longer had my badge. The front desk was empty. Where was that damn security guard? Amy had already gone up.

Squeeze.

Squeeze.

I would have to walk. I hoped they would send my stuff over later. I was not looking forward to the empty apartment. Crossing the street, it occurred to me that I should have said, “Julie, my years of service entitle me to special benefits.” She clearly set this up so that I get upset and just leave. Fuck. My left hand squeezing Squeezimodo, I raised it to the sky and screamed, “I SHOULD HAVE SAID…” I heard a car horn chime in, and then the screech of tires on asphalt joined our railing against capricious corporate powers.

I turned my head and saw a car coming at me. It swerved at the last minute to avoid making me roadkill. I jumped back to the sidewalk. Thanking the powers that be that I did not also get fired from life, I sat down. Not moving for a few minutes was a safe option right now.

The sidewalk was littered with broken glass. I wondered what idiot had broken a bottle in the middle of a busy street when I heard Jaxon’s voice yell, “Look out below.” I just had time to glance up and see my trophy coming at me, and then everything went dark.