White. That was all I knew for… Well, I actually don't know. When I was just floating around it felt as though eons passed by when I thought back to the first moment I was there, it seems like only a few moments passed. All I am is a modicum of thought, I think so anyways that could just be an illusion too and nothing could be real. Well I'm pretty sure it's real and since this is all I know, I just assume that it's reality.
I guess that is not completely one hundred percent true, I have this vague awareness that there was something before the white. That I was less than I am now, and yet more. Occasionally I would bump into other awarenesses a lot of them were scared and were trying to get back… somewhere? I don't remember though it seems important. Everytime I bumped into another thought form, there was a pin prick in my mind, and a new word or idea would enter my mind. Whatever came before this left me empty of everything, thought, ideas, memories, everything.
Anyways I use to bump into them a lot but I drifted away from the bright spot where they were huddle around and went towards the darkness. The closer I got the harder it was to move. After eons or moments I met an awareness from the other side and all I felt from them was content calm. It was stuck in the grey between the light and the dark. Strange a part of me expected evil, but as I ventured further into the black I realized what it was. It was acceptance. It was neither good nor evil, it made everything seem okay. I stayed in the grey not wanting to face the darkness of accusation or the light of praise.
Over time I felt the awarenesses around me come and go, some vanished, some moved to the dark and new one filled the gaps, but no matter how long I stayed nothing happened to me. I would have been upset, but I liked existing and who knows if I would still exist if I vanished.
I was content with where I was and then suddenly I was ripped out the space and I was suddenly alone with only one presence. There was joy and recognition from the other. Then the next moment the were gone and for the first time in my existence I heard a voice, deep and calming.
“Hello, and well meet my dear. I'm sure you have many questions, but listen well and many will be answered.” The voice paused seeing if I would interrupt, but since I didn't know how to speak I stayed silent. “ Good, this will be easier without interruptions. You are the soul, or the magically embodiment, of a young girl who died more than 15 years ago, but no longer. A deal was made, by a man claiming himself as your brother. He exchange his body and soul for yours, to bring you back to life.”
The voice stopped allowing me to digest all of the information, most importantly the realization that I was dead and would soon be alive. Pain jump through my soul, as an ice pick that was a memory came back to me. I remembered walking through the forest with my brother laughing together and playing. It was pleasant and filled me with a longing to be alive again.The voice had an upward lilt, that made it seem like it was smiling when it next spoke.
“I see you are starting to remember life and why so many desire it. Before I let you go I need to give two gifts, some advice, a warning and a job offer.” Before I could even try and question what it meant the voice continued, “My first gift is something all reborn receive, a true sense. It will allow you understand the world better than any around you. I give you what I like to call true sight. In this world there exists many types of eyesight magical and otherwise, I give you this so you may see even without eyes. Next is a gift just for you, an ability that I call scavenger. You body is in great peril where it is right now, at least if you remain unequip. Scavenger will let turn nearly anything into equipment, be that weapons, armor, tools, or even a blanket.”
If I knew how important any of these things were I'd probably be blown away, at least I hope I would. What? I don't want shitty gifts. But I have no idea what sight is, so I guess I'll just act pleased and hope for the best.
“Don't worry you will understand their importance upon waking.” Shit I guess I shouldn't have doubted the voice, I think it reads minds. Quick think grateful thoughts at it.
“Since you have died, you will always have a connection with the soul field. This connection allows you to send souls directly to me. My advice is to always accept knowledge of the dead if want to live longer. Many will try and kill you since you are a reborn, an just because you were brought back once doesn't mean I will do it again. That is my warning to you. Finally my job offer”
The voice let of a long sigh and for the first time sounded weary.
“There are many being throughout your world that have become twisted and vile abominations to avoid death. They are known by the Eternals. These Eternals, are cowards many flee this world because it is dying, bring many servants with them under the guise of saving them. These Eternals and their displaced servant, have started to drain the magic from the world. So if you are willing find every Eternal you can and end them. If you get the chance tear them out of the other worlds and bring the magic back to Spektis. This is an open offer, and I will reward you for every Eternal you slay.”
The voice sounded so sad and hollow at these final words that I could almost feel it. Something began to boil in my soul as the words sank deep. Before I could identify the emotion it felt like my awareness was shackled. What used to be a sphere of influence that was all I was now had shape clearly defined boundaries. I tried to push against it, not enjoying the feeling of being all couped up, and found that instead of expanding like I wanted it too, it moved. Like all of it at once moved, I could move it without shifting my core. The more I moved it the more boundaries I became aware of and learned that I could feel another boundaries touching my own. This was super cool I wonder what else I could figure out. That was when I finally paid attention to the whole of myself and I began to feel like an idiot.
I was in my body so of course I could touch things and feel the floor. It was exhilarating, and embarrassing. I can't believe that I was touching things, and those things had texture to them. I also can't believe that I was that excited about touching the floor. In my defense I have no memory of touch anything ever, but still embarrassing. The more I touched my surroundings the more words that finally had a place for me, and a place that made sense. Before the words like cold, rough, and down didn't make sense there wasn't any context for me and they poked at my mind, each other a pin prick of annoyance. As though they wouldn't fit because they felt wrong to me, they always stuck out to me.
As I moved my arm I realised that I was laying on the other. Wanting to free the other I sat up, and immediately regretted it. My head swam and my body hurt. For the past 15 years I had no sense of gravity, but I definitely do now. Feeling a wall behind me I gently lead into it going as slow as possible. Remembering that legs existed I extended them, it hurt, but it felt too good to stop. My chest began to flutter remember glimpse of memories that went along with words. I wanted run, and jump, to climb, and most of all I wanted to be fast. To move like a blur and sing with the wind.
Oh more word click now, I didn't know I could want something so bad. Desire, aspirations, and dreams. The motivators to take certain actions. I always understood the meaning of those, but not how the could be so powerful as to dictate actions. I guess it's just visceral here, I'm not detached from it either.Well if I want to run with the wind, I have to leave this cave. Step one open my eyes.
After getting over the fear of what I might see, and not because I forgot that I had them; cut me some slack okay, I'm new to this whole body thing; I opened my eyes to see, nothing. I tried again, fearing that they might not be working even though the voice told me I'd have special vision, I opened and closed them. Still nothing. I thought again about the vision the voice had called true sight. As I did I felt a warm spot in my mind towards the back of my head and I focused on it. Something felt different so I opened my eyes again to see if I could see. I sucked in a breath at what I saw.
Where ever I looked dim beams of light illuminated the world around me. With a thought I could change how light was produced, so obviously I tried to make it as bright as possible. I couldn't feel it before, but as I did I could feel the spot near the back of my head draining something from inside me in a panic I cut off the light. The interesting side effect was that the shapes of everything lingered in my vision. I moved my head and the image moved with it. This didn't make me feel nauseous, so I began shaking my head back and forth. All of a sudden I started giggling and then full on laughing. Discovering my voice and ear simultaneously. Having a body was so much fun! I know that whole fate of the world stuff was important, but right now I couldn't do anything about it so I'd just enjoy this while I can.
After my laughter died down I shut my eyes trying to clear my vision. Instead of darkness greeting me when I next opened my eyes I could still see the outlines of everything but different. Instead of just the outlines everything looked rather grey, I could make out the edges shapes extremely well better than normal sight that is, but fine details at the center of something were lost to me. I could also feel the slightest pull upon whatever was inside me. I was tempted to follow it to see where it lead, but I wanted to stand up.
I wanted to see what moving was like, totally not because my ass had gone numb from the cold hard cave floor. Nope. As I was getting up my hand brushed a small stone and my head was assault by light and pain. I learned several things very quickly, firstly seeing any kind of light while using what I shall call edge vision really sucks. The adjustment really hurts if you aren't ready. Secondly the stone I touched wasn't an ordinary pebble it was a memory stone. New ideas and thoughts sprouted in my mind, but most importantly a figure appeared in my mind's eye and spoke to me.
“Hello I know that you won't know me, but my name is Rom and I'm your brother. You are my twin sister Kirin. I gave my life, and soul so that you could return. 15 years ago you died, well more accurately you were murdered, and replace with a doll who was given all your memories. Nobody knew you were dead, well except me. The moment you died our magical connection broke and I knew. When I could no longer accept the imposter I fled the clan and started my search for the gates of death. It took 14 years of searching before I found the gates and could ask me question and make my deal. I to be certain, before making the exchange. There is so much I wish to tell you, but this stone is of low quality and I can't fit much more into it. Since I have already loaded several memories into it, I'll end this message and leave you with the location of our village, hopefully you can regain all of your memories when you return home.”
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Suddenly I was looking upon a memory, I was my brother and I was looking with crackling grey energy surrounding her from head to toe. The memory relayed fear, apprehension, and awe with a touch of jealousy. It quickly shifted to the girl and my brother working in tandem with near flawless teamwork. My brother was the forward attacker and the girl… No, and I was was supporting him while also launching magical attacks at an unidentified foe. These memories were supposed to show me what I was like before death. Before I could digest anymore, another memory played before my eyes.
This time my brother was climb up the side of a building in the rain. Riding along as passenger of the memory I felt a warm lump hidden beneath his shirt. When he finally reached one the highest levels of what must have been a manor he made a bee line for a specific window and knocked. A startled younger version of me appeared at the window, she opened the window and it was easy to see she had been crying. Wordlessly my brother handed her a small kitten from under his shirt, at the sight of said kitten the young me tired to smile but only ended up crying harder as she pulled my brother in for a hug.
Faintly I was aware of the location of my home, and it's name, Nadeen village. I was still drowning in the raw emotion from that memory, it was the first time I felt, happiness that intense, and also love for another living thing. It was nothing like what I had felt when I realized that I had a body. Also I have a strong secondary goal of owning a cat because it was so soft, and cute, and adorable, and fluffy and and *sigh* pull it together Kirin. Remember your purpose is to stay alive, then find home, regain your memories, and then you can find a cat to love. Well maybe revive brother before cat, but that may take awhile so we will see.
After the memories of my brother standing, fighting, and climbing using my legs for the first time was, well, a let down to say the least. In my brothers memories his legs were strong and his footing was sure. Mine are neither, weak and shaky is the best things I could say about them. It was like was like using a sword of fae metal and then realizing that you can't afford it and then you have to settle for one of rusty iron. The difference between us was unreal. Especially since after a few steps, I slipped and fell on my ass. If it turns out that I'm a klutz I will never forgive my brother for bringing me back to life. Well to be fair it I die from being uncoordinated, it wouldn't be completely my fault. It will totally be his for wasting his life, and I will not feel bad. Nope, not at all… Okay, I would feel awful, but that's just one for reason to stay alive I can't be a failure in the eyes of my brother.
Shuddering at the idea of dying because I managed to slip and bash my head on a rock or fall on a sword. Realizing that I had slipped and hadn't tripped over air foot. I lifted up and examine the bottom of my foot. It felt wet but when I looked at it I didn't see anything that out of the ordinary. I set my foot back down, I could feel a small puddle of something, but when I pulled my foot I saw nothing on it. Wiggling my toes as I set my foot in puddle, I then lifted it up for examination once more and I still saw nothing. I ran a finger over the bottom of my foot and it definitely felt wet and I could feel it on my finger now too. Then I realized that I was a complete moron.
I mean I'm like ten minutes into this life thing, okay I feel like deserve some slack, but at the same time this doesn't bode well for the future. Maybe more experience will lessen my moronic episodes. Fingers crossed. That actually raises an interesting point. Is hindsight a type of magical sight I can acquire? Food for thought.
Of course I couldn't see anything on my foot I could only make out the edge of things clearly and the inside of everything was grey. In my defense I had gotten used to my edge-sight and forgot that there was more substance to the world. Which, I might add, is easy to do when you have no memories of your own. That's excuse and I'm sticking to it.
I shut my eyes and thought about my need for light, to see in detail and color, while pushing on the bump in my awareness that lay at the back of my skull. When I opened my eye low level light pour out of them and on to my surroundings. The beam of light follow where I was looking, so obviously I tried to look at edge of it. Purely to know my limits, not because I wholeheartedly enjoyed seeing the light dart around the cave like it was chasing my gaze. What a ridiculous, and rather satisfying notion.
After I finished my testing, I stared at the sole of my foot and finally saw the elusive liquid I slipped in. It was purplish, but as I watched I saw the blue specks of light leech off of it and leak into the air. Leave only red liquid that was drying into a rusty brown color. Suddenly one of the senses I had yet to use click on and I could smell the stuff, and that is what cemented it as blood for me. It wasn't a color that matched up with any of the pin picks of memory I had, but the smell I recognized from a hundred battlefields I'd never know, a thousand injuries that I'd never feel, and countless fights in taverns that I'd never go too. There would be one person with all these memories. Nobody except me, even if they weren't originally mine. Every time I called upon one to help me place something new it would begin lie flat, and find a new home in me. They would become a part of me no longer apart from me, sticking in my mind like a thorn.
After scraping some of the congealing blood off my foot. I look at the puddle of purple blood on the floor and noticed, the blue specks were coming off this too, but far slower. So larger amounts of the blood hold the stuff for longer, I guess. I tried to grab one of the motes of light, but it passed right through my hand. Instead I did the next most logical thing and drank a small amount of the blood. I swear I had a good reason for the bout of moronic behavior. So if I could touch the energy directly, and if the only way I could interact with the motes was through the blood. Then if I wanted to learn what this energy was capable of I'd have to consume it. Meaning I had to drink the blood. See seems totally reasonable now.
I now knew first hand how blood tasted so that was one less pinprick to bother me. Sidenote blood is not my favorite drink, not that I've had anything to drink before, but I know that this isn't going to be one of my top hundred. Aside from learning just how much I disliked blood, I also shifted focus inwards to watch my body for any changes. Slowly I found a small blob of blue that was new to my system and watched as a single speck separated itself from the whole and began to drift away. When out of nowhere the speck vanished. That was certainly unexpected, but easily solved with more focus.
Tightening my mental bootstraps, I watched as a second mote separated, and was suddenly ripped away. Gritting my teeth in slight frustration, I sharpened my focus even further and waited. This time as the more separated I latched my attention to this singular mote and I was rewarded when I saw it shoot upward lightning fast. The mote traveled up towards my brain and then went through a, well I don't know what to call it. I want to saw hole, but it wasn't a bad thing. I'd call it a doorway, but it wasn't something that you opened. Like a curtain that blends with wall perfectly until you brush up against it, and suddenly it's there. It had always been there it wasn't hiding it was just rather, inconspicuous.
This enty, let's call it, lead to my mental landscape which was a projection of my unconscious mind. Well that was before I discovered now I could shape it at will. More pinpricks, or what I shall now call memory thorns, told me that this space was vital to mental defense. Unsurprisingly with my extraordinarily long life my mental space was empty. My unconscious mind has had unsurprisingly little time to propagate in my mental landscape. Being alive for less than a day will tend to do that. Thankfully that made spotting a racing blue speck super easy and I caught up to it quickly. Mental travel was definitely my preferred mode of travel, even if I didn't end up going anywhere in the end.
I followed the mote until I saw what I can only describe as an ocean of blue. It was a perfect and immense sphere of blue, just below the center of my conscience self. Which was also just above the center of my unconscious self. These weren't places I could go in and explore it was more like they were two priceless paintings that I had to keep intact at all cost. At that metal plating encased both points of my self. In the seconds it took to encase I remember the real reason that I was here and began frantically searching for the mote once more. Fortunately the mote was still hanging about the sphere.
I expected the mote sink into the sphere, but the sphere distended and completely engulfed the mote. I immediately realized that that my physical body felt more hale then just moments ago. So maybe if I got more of this energy stuff walking wouldn't be so disappointing. New
short term goal.
Snapping back into its original position the sphere rippled before dimming and blending with the rest of my mental landscape. If I hadn't seen it I wouldn't have known it was there and even now I could only barely make it out. Acting on a hunch I split my focus, half of me was watching the spot I knew the sphere to be in and the other half activated my edge-sight. A tendril of energy threaded itself from my mental landscape towards the warm protrusion in the back of my skull. I felt deeply satisfied with my discovery, it wasn't anything major. After all this was probably where magic got its power from so not a groundbreaking discovery I know, but damn. It felt good.
It felt like I had traveled miles in a few moments, which is why I was extra disappointed to find I was still in the same cave that I had woken up in. Originally it was a delight to just see the cave wall around me, now it was slightly irritating. Noticing more puddles of blood on the ground I decided to follow them. Something about them screamed that something was dead or dying. Hopefully it would be a dead creature that I could test my Scavenger ability on.
The tunnels in this cave system were rather small and it was a fair bet that whatever left all this blood had to have been relatively the same size as a human. Hopefully this thing would only be about twice my height and weight, and given how long I spent lollygagging in the first cave, it possible it had bleed out by now. Well that is if only got stabbed right before I woke up. So it's probably dead right? Fuck it, going for optimistic here.
Following the blood was easy if not a bit tedious thanks to my legs and poor balance. Even with the slight infusion of strength it still sucked ass. I thought about drinking more blood, but the thought of more blood in my mouth made me gag. I still wasn't fully adjusted to have a body, so my motor control might get better with practice. Unfortunately for now that means I have to keep close to the wall and lean into it at times to avoid falling down. It wasn't exhausting or anything just getting the coordination, and strength down was tedious.
Trying to keep the frustration at bay, I watched the blue specks as they seemed to boil out of the blood incredibly slowly. The longer I watched the clearer it became. When I first started watching the motes I could only see them if they were directly in my eye beams. I knew that the energy was still there, but in edge-sight I couldn't see anything of it. Meaning that while both used energy the eye beams actually projected something outward which caused the energy to react. So if I pour a whole bunch of energy into and focus the beam I might be able to cause an effect on physical things, or it could just make a really bright light. Who knows, but I'd like for this to be a sign that I can be clever sometimes, even if I'm new at it.
After doing my best impression of drunk who didn't know their way home, I found a easily ignored crevice which lead to a den. Well what I assume was a den there was piles of bones and shells everywhere and in one corner was a humanoid monster curled up in a pool of its own blood. I took in a sharp breath, I realized just how dumb I had just been, and I couldn't help but berate myself aloud, “Sure Kirin walk in to the den of a monster while you are still trying to master the act of walking, without even thinking twice about it with your glowy eyes. I'm sure it won't notice. If it wasn't dead already you would be right now. Am I doomed todo smart things immediately followed by moments of complete incompetent. I really hope not.”
For the first time I realized just how dangerous it was down where ever I was. I had nothing to defend myself with, but even if I did against something like this I might as well make a sign that said free meal. I have nothing going for me right now. Well I had a vague notion of weaponized eye beams, but that was the shittiest fall back plan ever. I wasn't afraid of dying because I knew what lay beyond. I was afraid that I wouldn't get to experience life for more than a few hours before I'd be sent back and that might make me explode. Experiencing and making my own memories was just so nice, I'd hate to give it up so soon.