Light flashed and suddenly I'm floating, feeling a tugging in my gut as my heart drops. Am I falling? I can't tell, nothing but void around me. Black and pitch dark. I can't even see my hand if I hold in in front of my nose. Do I even have a body? Suddenly a storm and torrent of color surround and I am blind. The falling feeling intensifies and I try to scream but nothing leaves my throat. A buzzing sound starts to stir in my heads, almost in the depth of my skull, as if thousands of beetles were swarming me. My brain feeling like it's about to explode. I feel it. The ground, the bottom, of whatever this mess is. I feel it nearing and bile rises in my throat as I begin to panic, my nerves taking over. I try to reach out to grab something passing when suddenly- *BAM!*
I jolt awake, drenched in a cold sweat and shaking as if I was just dunked into negative waters. My heart beating so fast I thought it was gonna leap from my chest. I freak out and turn my head so fast to look at my clock that I thought I would get whiplash. The clock read 2:36AM on Saturday. I sigh with what may be relief or frustration, I would never completely know. I throw my damp blankets off my sweaty and chilled body, heading to the bathroom. I wet my face and take deep breaths before undressing and hopping in the shower, rinsing off the sweat with the warm water. I relish in the warmth a bit longer before shutting the water off and drying myself off with a towel. I walk back into my room, going to grab clothes but pause when I catch myself in my full length mirror. I flinch with disgust. My body was not mine. 'What could you mean by that?' you may ask me? Well, exactly that. It's not mine, but I know it is mine because here I am. My legs are too large with muscle and fat, my arms hold not enough muscle to be seen as a man but not thin enough to be a woman. My shoulders are too wide yet too delicate and my neck too long yet well muscled. I don't look like one or the other and it not only confuses myself but mostly other people around me. Yet I know know I am and there are days I am not confused at all. I am both and I am neither. I sigh and turn away from the mirror, going to slip into a pair of baggy camo cargo pants and throwing a black shirt over my head. I grab my car keys and the hoodie off my desk chair, tossing it over my shoulder and silently walking out of my room, leaving the house and hopping in my new-old, 1990 Miata. The Miata has a gorgeous, rich red coat of paint and soft, faux leather seats because I hate the feeling of the old fabric seats. The vehicle has an old, retro stick transmission that was professionally carved from cedar wooden. I am so proud of her, and she was only $15,000 at a retro car dealership I found. I drove from my little town house into the big city of Vancouver. I live on the outer edge of the large city so the inner city is only a 10 minute drive. I'm driving and relishing the beautiful lights that glow on the water soaked roads. The city is always beautiful at night, especially during rain season or just after a rainstorm. I drive around the city, adoring the lit up buildings and gazing with longing at all the night shops that I would love to wander into and get lost in till the sun rises and they would have to kick me out because they're closing their shops for the day. I sigh as I turn up my custom stereo and feel the rumble of the bass. I have NF blasting throughout my vehicle as my little Miata beats every red light. I get lost in this ecstatic feeling that makes me feel so euphoric. Basking in the dark yet bright and colorful lights.
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
**After an hour and a half of driving around central Vancouver**
Glancing at my little stereo clock, I decide that it is late enough so I start mapping my route back home. I enjoy the scenery of glossy city buildings around me, the slight light from the sunrise peaking around the buildings, as I make my way back to my tiny town house. I park my red Miata and quietly slip back into the house, and enter my room, quietly shutting my door behind me. I throw my keys on my desk and sigh as I throw myself onto my bed.
"Fuck this man." I mutter before finally falling asleep at 5:10AM.