Subject: Ini Silroth Von

Species: Ynorinca

Description: Humanoid, no tail. 7'2" (2.1 m) avg height. 180 lbs (81.6 kg) avg weight. 128 year life expectancy.

Ship: N/A

Location: Zlimurse {Center of the Universe}

As we followed the lights on the floor I marveled at how advanced these people are. A ship larger than two of ours put together, holding many more ships and two Artificial Intelligences within it. They also automatically decrypted our mental links. Until this day, I had believed that our mental link communications were interception-proof.

That AI, Omega, had informed us otherwise in a bemused manner. As if it found our communications humorous, despite their content. It had also called them neural communicators, which indicated that it was at least familiar with the technology. Does the United Systems also use mental links? Perhaps they're further along in the technology than we are. One can hope, the headaches can be bothersome.

"This is the cafeteria!" Tim said happily. "Don't mind the stares, most of the people here weren't told you'd be taking a tour. Actually, the same goes for everywhere we're going to be seeing!"

"What kind of food do you serve?" Grint asked while rubbing his stomach.

"We have cuisine from all corners of the United Systems. Except the ones where the food is dangerous," Tim replied. "The most popular dishes are Alfredo Pasta with Chicken by the humans and Yino by the knuknu."

"Don't know what those are, but something smells good."

"Well, I'm afraid we can't serve you any of our food until you submit to an allergy test. Maybe I should have brought you by med-bay first."

"What does the allergy test entail?" Tiorn asked.

"They take a little blood and run a slew of tests on it to determine what foods will harm or kill you," Tim said. "I find medicine kinda boring, so that's the extent of my knowledge on the subject."

"Boring?"

"Well, yeah. Medicine is one of the least relevant subjects to a mechanical being. I know first aid, of course, but that's from being forced to learn it to enlist. Why learn how to administer medicine when you'll never be able to administer medicine?"

"I believe he was referring to the fact that you can feel boredom at all," Lorix added. "That alone is a noteworthy accomplishment in the field of AI."

"Well, I wish it weren't," Tim replied. "Finding ways to amuse yourself when you perceive time faster than everything around you is... difficult."

"One would think that your creators would give you a way to pass the time," Tiorn said. "Not doing so seems... cruel."

"Oh they have, don't worry. It's called standby mode! We essentially go into a state of suspended animation similar to sleep, while leaving processes running that detect abnormalities in our environments and certain keywords to wake us up. I just don't use it," the machine laughed.

Something about Tim's tone told me there was a lot more to the story, but it wasn't something it wished to speak about. I met eyes with my comrades and could tell that they had picked up on this as well. If we were regular tourists our curiosity might overpower our tact, but we were here to be diplomatic.

"I see," Tiorn nodded. "So what is next on the tour?"

"Hopefully the med-bay," Grint chuckled. "A little blood for food that smells like that is a fair exchange."

As the smells of the cafeteria wafted in our direction I found myself nearly agreeing with Grint. However, there's no telling what they can do with our blood with their level of technology. Our own cloning technology is limited to growing compatible organs. Theoretically, you could create a perfect genetic replica of a person, but in practice there's always a defect. Extreme health issues, genetic degradation, and the inability to transfer one's consciousness into a cloned body all but made us give up on furthering the technology. What if the United Systems had cracked it, though?

"Well, you're democratic, so let's put it to a vote!" Tim said merrily. "We can either check out one of the frigate bays, or I can give you a tour of the med-bay."

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"Frigate bays?" Lorix asked.

"Yes, the USSS Thanatos is a carrier and holds ten frigates."

"I'm sure the frigates are impressive, but I would much rather see the med-bay." Tiorn interjected. "I'm very curious about your medical technology."

"That's a good point," I said. "I likely won't partake in this 'allergy test', but I'd like to see what kind of medicine the United Systems practices."

"Med-bay!" Grint exclaimed.

"The majority has it, folks!" Tim met Grint's energy. "Let's go to the med-bay!"

The lights on the floor lit up and we once again availed ourselves of Tim's guidance. Lorix and Tiorn seemed deep in thought, but Grint was pestering Tim with questions about the food. I couldn't help but smile to myself. I'd told him to eat before we left, but he had said he wasn't hungry enough to eat the survival rations. My smile faded somewhat when I noticed that Tim seemed to answer all of Grint's questions with answers relating to a specific captain aboard the Thanatos.

"Are you familiar with all of the captain's dietary preferences?" I asked.

"No," Tim answered curiously. "Why would I be?"

"Apologies, I came to the wrong conclusion based on the conversation so far," I replied. "I realize now that this Captain Wong must be important to you. Is he your creator?"

"No, I was made several hundred years before Wong was born," the AI chuckled. "Our personalities just seem to mesh well. There's more to it than that, of course, but we'll have to leave it there."

"So you have actual preferences when it comes to organics?" Tiorn asked.

"Yes, of course," Tim laughed. "Some people are quite abrasive, you know."

"Right, I just thought..." Tiorn trailed off.

"It will help your mental image of USAI if you simply stopped viewing us as mechanical. We weren't designed to imitate people, we were designed to BE people, just in digital form. At least, that's Omega's opinion," Tim explained. "We have feelings, preferences, desires, needs, and even mental illnesses and ailments. I've actually got my own therapist!"

"For what?" Grint asked, the shock of what we just heard causing him to forget his tact.

"Post-traumatic stress disorder is the current theory," Tim said cavalierly. "Oh, look, the med-bay!"

The quick subject change likely indicated a desire to end the conversation, and Grint quickly regained his composure. The doors to the med-bay opened and we stepped through, the lights in the hallway blinking out as we did so. I looked around at an almost familiar room. It was uncanny. There were beds lined up with privacy curtains just like you would find in our med-bays. The machines you would normally see were absent, though, replaced with oddities that defy imagination. How these machines functioned, and to what end, were anyone's guess. A human with dark skin and white hair matching his coat approached us.

"Hello there. Are you lost, or patients?" it asked.

"Neither," Tim answered. "I am giving them the tour. These are the ambassadors from the Dtiln Collective. Ambassadors, this is Doctor Zickler."

"Greetings, Doctor Zickler. I am Ini Silroth Von. You may call me Ini," I said.

The other three introduced themselves while the doctor nodded along. Once we were finished with introductions, he smiled at us and turned around, returning to whatever task he had been performing before we entered. Lorix looked taken aback, Tiorn and I shared a confused glance, and Grint cleared his throat.

"What about this allergy test?" Grint asked.

"Oh, so you ARE patients," Dr. Zickler turned back to us. "You know, one of these days that damn machine's gonna be right about something, and I'm going to keel over dead from shock."

"Oh, please," Tim interjected. "You? Dead? About as likely as me becoming a real boy."

Dr. Zickler chuckled, "Death comes for us all, bot. Well, except for you, perhaps."

"Guess I'm just not attractive enough," Tim said. "Or maybe I'm just bad at foreplay."

"Oh! That's quite enough of that!" Dr. Zickler shouted. "Where's your professionalism, Tim? This is a work environment!"

Once again, my small group shared confused glances.

"Anyways, the allergy test is a simple blood test. We draw some blood and test its immune response to allergens," Dr. Zickler explained. "It's not quite infallible, but it's close enough that it hasn't been wrong yet."

"So there's still a chance that eating something from your wonderful cafeteria may cause an allergic reaction?" Grint asked sadly.

"A very, very low chance, but yes. However, if we were to do a slightly more invasive procedure, such as a bone marrow biopsy..."

"Stop that!" Tim scolded the doctor.

"Now see here, Tim, I'm going to give my expert medical opinion when it becomes relevant in my own med-bay. A bone marrow biopsy will give us a much better test of what type of allergens may impact alien physiology than a mere blood sample ever possibly could, and we'd also be able to determine which of our medicines may be able to help if they do encounter an allergic reaction!"

"I'm afraid a bone marrow biopsy wouldn't be possible with my species, doctor," Tiorn said with a chuckle.

The human doctor turned to look at the Xandith with an expression of wonder and confusion. Despite its apparent advanced age, I couldn't help but be reminded of a child who had just been given an unfamiliar toy as a gift.

"W-what?" the doctor asked.

"My species, the Xandith, do not have blood cells," Tiorn explained. "We utilize hemolymph that contains hemocyanin for oxygen transfer. Unfortunately, a hemocoel biopsy would be difficult and rather deleterious to my health."

"Oh... Yes, yes of course. Not to worry, we have a species within the United Systems called the Alumari that has a similar circulatory system. We can use osmosis to get what we need for the tests from you, if you're interested."

I found myself curious as to how that would work, but before I could ask a familiar holographic image displayed on a nearby desk. It was the same AI we had spoken to before, the one that had made us aware of our mental links being compromised.

"No biopsies, Dr. Zickler," Omega said. "However, the blood draw may be a necessity."

"Why?" I asked, fearing that I already knew the answer.

"We're not going to be able to get you back to your people, or receive supplies from them for the foreseeable future," Omega said. "The Omni-Union has arrived in the system."

"Is this ship going to fight them?" Lorix asked.

"Our frigates are going to engage the enemy," it explained. "But don't worry. Help will be here soon."