Subject: Lead Intel-Officer Knuffer
Species: Isolan
Description: Mammalian Shokanoid, no tail. 5'9" (1.75 m) avg height. 180 lbs (81.6 kg) avg weight. 95 year life expectancy.
Station: Yritona 3 {Watcher 3}
Location: Elira 2
"He WHAT?" I asked incredulously.
"Station-Master Nixt allowed an AI aboard the station to record the first contact with the aliens," Bleenus repeated.
I gaped at him in shock. He looked back at me as if he didn't know why I was making such a big deal out of this.
"WHY DO YOU LOOK SO DAMN CALM ABOUT THIS!?!" I screamed at him.
"Ma'am, I just... don't really see the problem," he said.
"Don't see the problem? Do you need your vision checked? What if it decides to vent our air? What if it decides to overload our reactors?" I asked while gesturing madly. "What if it decides to detonate our remote ordnance? What if it access our military secr..."
I trailed off. I had, for a moment, forgotten we were on a remote early warning station that didn't have galactic internet access. The only military secrets we had were which military ships had docked within the last 30 days and why they docked. Which there were none except the Lowelana. The AI couldn't learn anything from our systems that their ship's sensors couldn't have already figured out. Maybe the type of software we run, but there's other less intrusive ways to do so. Bleenus took my silence as his cue to speak up.
"Intel-lead, it's not as if they have any call for doing something like that. That behemoth of a ship they came in on has more than enough firepower to turn us into dust ten times over. Plus... Well, come LOOK at this fuckin' thing," he said as he walked over to a terminal.
Bleenus was what essentially amounted to our technical expert on the station. If I hadn't been around, he would have easily been the top choice for intel-lead. The only reason he wasn't picked is because I have seniority and am better at actually USING the sensors than he is. Well, the ones he's not allowed to reprogram, at least. This is why when I walked over to look at his holo-screen I was baffled.
"The hell am I looking at, Bleenus?" I asked.
"This is the AI. Kind of," he said. "It's a representation of how our system views it. The poor thing has no idea what to make of this beauty."
"Bleenus! Don't fucking drool over the mechanical death machine," I said.
"Redundant, intel-lead. And I can't help but marvel at the engineering required to make something like this. Look at how DENSE it is. Also, I'm pretty sure it's not a threat," he said as he turned to me. "Something this complex could have penetrated our station in no time and done all of the things you were worried about in milliseconds. Yeah, it's worrying but we've got to face the fact that we're defenseless here. Like you said, if these guys didn't come in peace we'd already be dead."
"I don't appreciate having my own words thrown back in my face, Bleenus," I said with a scowl. "But if we're so defenseless than how are we able to see it?"
"We shouldn't be able to. Not something like this. Our systems can't even read its source code. I have no idea if this thing is binary, ternary, or what. The only explanation for us being able to see it like this is that it is actively announcing its presence to our systems. Which, c'mon, that's a total good guy thing to do."
I was about to ask how it was a 'good guy thing to do' when I remembered that the Duhliki had cultural things regarding secrecy. To them, secrecy was the norm. Governments kept secrets from their people, people kept secrets from their governments, families kept secrets from each other, and unlike most cultures this was all completely acceptable and expected. Stealth and secrecy and underhanded dealings were just a way of life. To them, announcing one's presence was pretty much the equivalent of genuflection.
"I think your viewpoint may be a bit askew," I pointed out while crossing my upper arms.
He laughed, "You might be right about that. But still, there's no threat here. Or rather, the threat is so completely indomitable that if we were to worry about it we might end up causing our own demise. I wonder, though..."
He sat down and began to type. I watched program after program pop up and disappear in quick succession.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked.
"Well, station-master said this one wasn't like the OU AIs and could communicate. I'm seeing if we can talk to it, maybe give you some peace of mind," he said as he typed.
"What if it's busy?"
He stopped to look at me as if I had asked the dumbest question he had ever heard. I crossed my lower arms and looked at him as if he was about to be pummeled to pieces. He quickly changed his facial expression.
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"An AI should be more than capable of multitasking. The only reason we kind of suck at it is because so much of our intellect is used just keeping us alive and moving. Anyways, here's what I'm going to send it. 'Hello, I am intel-officer Bleenus and am accompanied by intel-head Knuffer. Do you have a moment to talk to us?'"
"No. Say Lead Intel Officer Knuffer. Intel-head is an informal title, and this is a diplomatic situation. Even if the situation is abnormal, we're going to stick to protocol," I said.
"Yes, ma'am. Alright, sent," he said.
Less than a half second after he pressed the key to send the message a reply popped up.
--*-*--
Certainly. I am the human-created Artificial Intelligence known as Omega. Would you prefer voice communication?
--*-*--
"Yes," I said. I wanted to hear what this thing considered a voice.
Bleenus typed and the response came almost immediately after he sent it, once again.
"Greetings," a voice came over a nearby intercomm.
It was very organic sounding, but somehow unnerving. Deep, masculine, and a touch of hoarseness. There was a sense of friendliness that was shadowed by unspoken threat. Like a very fit old man covered in scars and with only three arms. It definitely didn't give me peace of mind.
"Hello, I am Lead Intel Officer Knuffer and this," I gestured, "is intel-officer Bleenus."
"It's not accessing the cameras," Bleenus said.
"I haven't received the authorization to do so, with the exception of the conference room," said the AI.
I shared a look with Bleenus. His smirk made me want to smack him.
"How do we know that for sure?" I asked.
"I am allowing myself to be seen by your systems. As such, you're able to track what I do and do not access," the voice responded with a patronizing tone.
"If you can make yourself visible, then you can be invisible," I replied.
"Correct, and as such if I disappear from your view then you would have a valid concern for the integrity of your... systems," its reply was dripping with sarcasm.
This conversation was really starting to piss me off.
"Oh yeah?," I asked. "Well what's stopping you from making parts of yourself invisible to fool us?"
"Your hardware," the AI said. "It's decades behind what beings like me are used to. It can barely support my framework, let alone complicated functions like that. The process that I'm using to maintain my visibility within your network is already pushing your servers close to their breaking point. Adding a process to limit that visibility in a properly deceptive fashion would defeat the point of stealth because your servers would start popping."
"He's right, ma'am. Our server temps have spiked pretty drastically since he came aboard," Bleenus said.
"It," the AI and I said simultaneously. I looked at the PA in shock.
"Right... sorry," Bleenus responded sheepishly.
"Is there anything else you would like to discuss?" Omega asked.
"Yes. Why are you working with the aliens instead of trying to conquer them like the Omni-Union?" I asked aggressively.
There was a moment of silence before the AI finally said, "That question has a rather complicated answer. If I had to simplify it, I'd say that essentially the pros outweigh the cons."
"Pros and cons?" I asked, confused.
"Yes," Omega responded. "There would be little benefit to me to conquer anyone, let alone the United Systems. It may be amusing to challenge my strategic capabilities against a species like the humans, or even the gont at a lesser level, but it would be a fleeting form of entertainment. And what would I do afterwards?"
I didn't have an answer to that. This thing was unlike what I had imagined in nearly every way. I had expected a cold, callous machine and when I hadn't gotten that I had expected a mind like my own. But this was neither. That explanation would never had occurred to me. I felt a little awestruck before remembering that it's a machine.
"For instance, if I were to conquer the humans I would have to eliminate them out of fear of revolution. I don't know if I could bring myself to do that, frankly. Yes, they're an incredibly dangerous species, but their danger is far outweighed by their beauty," the AI said.
"Their beauty?" Bleenus asked.
"Yes. Humanity is the embodiment of contradictions. They seek peaceful, boring lives but in doing so they cause the very conflict they're trying to avoid. They seek out new friendships despite it also leading to new enemies. They turn desiccated hell-scape planets into utopian paradises while wielding the power to destroy entire solar systems. They also seem to crave conflict on a deep subconscious level. And all of this while they simultaneously share the same traits as other organic life. It's a beautiful thing to behold, and I must admit that I'm enamored by them."
Creepy. A machine with an obsession. Who would program that? When this thing leaves I'm definitely requesting replacements for our computers and incinerating the old ones.
"Are you the only human made AI?" I asked.
"No, there are several others. I am not at liberty to discuss further details on the number of US AI."
"Are all of them... like you?" Bleenus asked nervously. It seems he and I shared similar thoughts about the nature of Omega.
"No. Personalities vary wildly. Functions remain relatively similar, but I'm the latest model and as such am capable of more than my counterparts. I am not at liberty to discuss further details on..."
"Right," I interrupted, "I get it. So essentially what you're saying is that we've got nothing to worry about."
The AI chuckled and said, "Not necessarily. Diplomatic relations should always be something to be worried about."
My brows furrowed, "Are you saying that if things don't go well you'll kill us?"
"I won't have to. As I said, humanity is an incredibly dangerous species. And three of them are sitting in the room with your diplomats right now," it said with another chuckle. "Things seem to be going pretty well though. It looks like the Republic is taking responsibility for dragging us into the war with the Omni-Union."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Um... Ship-Head Uleena was fleeing the OU when he ran into the aliens, and now the OU are attacking the aliens," Bleenus responded.
"Oh..." I said.
"Indeed. And while the United Systems has a mighty military, the intel we've thus been able to gather demonstrates that the OU has superior numbers. If they had comparable numbers our victory would be assured," Omega said with confidence. "As such, the US is demanding the Republic's assistance in defending our system while we counterattack."
"Counterattack?" I asked in shock.
"Yes. I'm not at liberty to d..."
"Right."
Bleenus and I shared another look. He wasn't smirking anymore, but looked more confused than anything.
"Anymore questions?" The machine asked.
"Yeah, tons," Bleenus replied.
"Well, it looks as if the diplomatic meeting is wrapping up. I'll be remaining aboard the station along with our primary ambassador for the foreseeable future, so we'll have plenty of time for questions."
Oh great. I definitely didn't sign up to be stationed with a potential killing machine indefinitely.