Anna wasn’t floating. You would need something to float in for that.

She also didn’t feel like she was falling, as you would need the ability to feel for that.

She didn’t think either because one would need a brain to do that too.

So, Anna just kinda... existed for a time… maybe. It’s hard to say, what with time being a mental construct and all that and without a brain, mental constructs are kind of hard to understand.

That’s the whole ‘mental’ part of it, ya know?

“Oh, let’s fix that.” A voice spoke.

Suddenly, Anna realized that she could think again, and perceive! Though, there wasn’t much to perceive…

Just An all-consuming void in which no light can shine and nothing can return. An endless abyss that stares back and slowly drives sane minds into its deepest depths. A place of nothing and no one, not meant to be viewed-

The voice sighed. “Guess I should fix that as well…” the voice grumbled.

A place of clouds filled the void. A beautiful blue sky appeared above and a flat cloud stretched out below, as far as the eye could see… if one had eyes that is.

“Why did I make you guys so high maintenance?!” the voice boomed, shaking the haven it had presumably created. “There, fine!” it stated as a body took shape around the consciousness that was Anna.

Anna took a moment to look over her naked body and the ‘sky’ that she was floating in, before she took in a deep breath.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!”

The voice seemed to pull back for a second. “Well… Ahem, Mortal, I have-” it stuttered a bit before collecting itself and trying to portray a more serious attitude. This was completely overshadowed, however, by the being that was currently screaming its lungs out.

“Mortal, I-” It tried again, only to be ignored as Anna continued to scream in existential terror.

“ENOUGH!”

The haven seemed to break and crack in places, showing the nothing that was behind it, before repairing itself. This did not help Anna’s disposition at all, of course, but as she tried to draw in more breath to scream again she discovered that she no longer had a mouth.

‘What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck! What the-’ she repeated as her mind started to break down.

“This is not going as I had planned…” a defeated voice suddenly said from behind her.

Flipping around, she saw an old man. He was dressed in an oversized white robe and carried a staff. Wrinkles covered his face and his hands. He had a kind face, though, currently, it was distorted in annoyance and… disappointment?

The appearance of the old man startled Anna out of her breakdown and shocked her brain back into actual thought. ‘Who is he? Where am I? What's going on? What was that voice?’

“Well, in order, your answers are, God, Heaven… kinda, I was getting to that, and God again,” he stated simply while leaning forward on his staff. That was impressive, seeing as he was currently floating in empty space.

‘Wha- did this old man just read my mind?’

“Yes.”

Anna paused for a moment, her brain stalling before she came to the best conclusion she could think of. ‘I’m dreaming,’ she thought with finality.

The old man groaned as he face-palmed. “I mean, yes? Kinda…” he said, his words muffled from the hand over his face. “But that’s not what’s important right now…” he continued as he removed his palm from his face...

‘-that means all of this is a dream and that I can-’ …only to realize that Anna had turned her back to him and was currently just mumbling things to herself. Well, mumbling as much as one can in their own mind.

The old man’s palm found his face again.

This was not how God had envisioned this going. He’d imagined a heavenly chorus, a divine light, a peaceful passing of the torch to his successor. Not a woman rambling in her own head and completely ignoring him.

“Ahem,” he coughed, putting a bit of divine power behind it.

Anna found herself being forcefully dragged out of the rabbit hole her thoughts had been going down and returned to ‘reality.’ She was spun back around and placed in a chair that materialized beneath her. Still floating, by the way.

Trying to get out of her chair, she found that her limbs seemed to be chained to the chair by an invisible force. She struggled for a few moments before she saw the old man glaring at her. She sat staring at him, then looked away, then looked back, then looked away again. ‘Soooo, how was your day?’ she thought towards him.

“Not great, if I'm honest,” he sighed. “Look. I need to explain a few things to you. You need to calm down until I'm done and pay attention. When I’m done explaining things you can ask questions. Ok?” he finished, looking at her to see if she understood.

Anna quickly nodded.

“Wonderful. Now, to get the basics out of the way. I’m God and we’re currently in heaven… kinda,” he wagged his head back and forth. “Heaven as you humans think of it doesn't actually exist. What actually happens is that your souls are sent into the multiversal reincarnation pool. To be, you guessed it, reincarnated later.”

Waving his hand he got back on track. “Your body is currently in a coma after you got into a wreck that I orchestrated. The reason I did this is that I needed to talk to you and I can't do that if you're alive. Of course, you’re useless to me if you're dead, so I needed to make it so that you were neither alive nor dead. Thus the crash and subsequent coma,” he once again checked to see if Anna was following.

She took a moment to think then nodded her head again.

“Now the reason I needed to talk to you is really very simple…” God took a deep breath and let it out. “I'm leaving,” he said with finality.

‘... what?’

“I created humans a long time ago when I was still a young celestial and I made a lot of mistakes when I created you. You’re brash and greedy. Short-sighted and prideful. Worst of all… you’re self-destructive. Your capacity for compassion is great, but your desire for destruction is even greater.

“Long ago, I had the support of the other gods to help curb your suicidal patterns and evil tendencies. It was even enjoyable saving you from yourselves. However, I’ve since lost their power and have had to manage you on my own since... and… I’ve grown tired.”

God slouched on his cane and turned away to look out over the endless sky. “So very tired,” he murmured.

“Tired of your endless war. Your selfishness. You pray to me, wishing for the chance to enter heaven but don't realize that you could create heaven on earth if you only tried.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

“I’ve seen so much suffering, so much hate and anger. I’ve seen mothers and children slain for no more than having a differing belief. Brothers killing each other for an abstract concept like ‘nationalism.’ You’ve divided yourselves so much that you discriminate against something as silly as skin color.”

When God turned back around Anna was shocked to see the despair and grief on his face and the tears running down his cheeks. He wiped his face. “But I've seen so much compassion too,” He continued as he smiled.

“Good men laying down their lives for the lives of others. Ideas like ‘freedom’ creating nations that go on to save millions of lives. Heroes going to war knowing that they won't come back. Saints saving people in the streets for no reason other than their own; never having heard of the ‘word of god.’ Yes, I've seen so much good…” He looked down with pride and Anna followed his gaze.

Below them, Anna saw the earth in all of its magnificent glory and she saw its people. All eleven billion of them.

She saw the sick in southern Africa dying in their beds and the doctors that were trying desperately to save them. How each one of them knew that they couldn’t save everyone but how they still tried anyway.

She saw the civil wars in China where brother and sister were fighting each other. Some for their freedom, others for their countries, a couple fought for no other reason besides money; killing for their greed.

She saw the corruption taking root in the governments of the world. How the rich were paying to stay rich and to keep the people poor. The immoral experiments they were running in their private laboratories made her want to throw up.

She saw the evils of the world... and the kindness God had spoken about. Mothers singing their daughters to sleep. Fathers comforting their sons. She saw children being born and the joy that they brought into the world.

She saw the good that was almost drowned in the bad, like a diamond shining desperately in a swamp of muck.

When she finally looked away from the earth she saw God watching her with a slight smile. “I love humanity,” He spoke, his eyes never leaving Anna’s. She saw the eternity that lay within them. “I really, truly do. Never doubt that, but I cannot manage humanity. You are too wild and uncontrollable.”

He shook his head in exasperation. “I cannot understand how the common man thinks anymore. You’ve all evolved past what I expected and planned. And if I cannot understand humanity how could I possibly protect humanity from itself?”

He leaned back, a chair appearing, and looked back towards earth. “So I’ve made a decision,” He declared resolutely. “I’m leaving and in my place, I will leave a successor.”

It took a bit of time for Anna’s shell shocked brain to understand what God was saying. “Wait you couldn’t mean…” she trailed off, surprised to find that her mouth had returned.

“Yes,” God cleared his throat before speaking in a voice that shook the heavens. “Mortal, I have chosen you to lead humanity into the future. To guide and protect them. To be their shepherd and their sword if need be. You will be my successor and will inherit my powers.” He turned his head toward her and Anna saw that his eyes were burning with divine light. “Do you accept?”

Gulping, Anna hesitantly asked a question. “W-why me? There must be others more suited for the role.”

God smiled and allowed for the light and power to fade. He cocked his brow and smirked. “And how does one decide if someone is suited for the role of a god?”

“I...” Anna was stumped. ‘That's a very good question actually.’

God laughed at her thoughts. “I had six criteria that you had to meet to become my successor,” he said before holding up a finger for each reason.

"One, you couldn’t be in a leadership position as that might create an allegiance towards a specific faction. Two, you had to be at least moderately intelligent for obvious reasons. Three, you couldn’t have had emotional baggage, I’ll be giving you the power of a god; can’t have you held back by past events. Four, you couldn’t be famous as that might’ve created an allegiance of sorts to your fans. Five, no world-conquering ambition, trust me it never turns out well. Six, you must’ve wanted the world to change. I’m not going to give this power to someone who wants to maintain the status quo, humans are too chaotic for that to last long.

“You meet all of these qualifications and then some. That is the reason why I have chosen you.” When he finished Anna noticed that his left hand had grown another finger to fit all six reasons on it. She shivered at the weirdness of it.

Anna then contemplated the criteria God had set out. ‘I guess it makes sense. You want a god to be impartial at the very least. Intelligence is also a good thing to have for someone that’s going to be managing an entire species. ‘Can’t be held back,’ huh? I guess I can understand that. Can’t have the new god going on a revenge murderous rampage…’ Anna then realized that God never addressed morality. ‘That seems like an important part of being a god after all.’ looking up she questioned him.

His answer caused her to think. “Who decides what is good and bad? What is morality? No, the bigger question is this: Why would I want a saint to lead the world?”

“But-but wouldn’t they guide humanity towards a better future?” she asked confused.

God frowned. “I’m afraid not. Tell me what do you think a saint would do if he gained god-like power?”

“Well… he would use it to help people most likely.”

“Yes, yes, but when would he stop helping people?”

Anna understood. ‘A saint would use his godly powers to help someone, to give them heaven on earth, but this is reality, not a fantasy novel. By helping that person he would be hurting other people and if he tried to help those people he would just end up hurting more. The only way he could artificially create a world without suffering would be to rule over it and create a utopia himself. However, that would break one of God's criteria, therefore those saints weren’t an option anyway.’

“Exactly,” God said with a nod. “Humans aren’t capable of creating a utopia themselves, not yet at least, and trying to force them into one usually creates a dystopia instead. Trust me, it always ends up this way. Whether it be god or man who tries to force its creation, artificial utopias never last long.”

Anna just sat there thinking. While wars raged below her, people died of sickness, and siblings killed siblings, she contemplated. She thought about life and death and she had a question. “Can I bring people back from the dead?” she asked innocently.

God’s expression grew darker. “No.”

The thunderous appearance of the being responsible for her creation dissuaded her from asking any more about that topic. She perked up a bit when she thought of another question. “Why can’t you just go - I don’t know - manifest yourself or something? Get a bit more hands-on with things instead of just sitting up here.”

God sighed as his face shifted from MURDER to annoyance. “I-I just can’t,” he said debating on how much to tell her. “There are rules that I have to follow and that’s one of them.”

“Will I have to follow those rules?” Anna asked with concern.

“No, you shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

God groaned as he slouched back in his chair before he leaned forward suddenly and started explaining. “It’s like this. I have certain rules I have to follow because I’m a god. We can’t do certain things, one of which is to explain this to you in too much detail. However, you,” He said as he pointed towards Anna, “won’t have these issues as you won’t be an actual god-god. Instead, you’ll be more like a pseudo-god.

“There are these things called ‘champions’ that gods can use sometimes. Champions are basically, in their simplest sense, people blessed by gods. Now the idea is that a god will bless a person, making them into a champion, and the god will send down a divine message telling that champion to do a thing. That champion does the thing, all is well, the world is saved. Blah, blah, blah.

“But! I checked the rules and there’s a loophole,” God said with excitement. “There are no limits or rules on what the type of blessings I’m allowed to give. So, technically, I could make you into what is basically a mortal god or a pseudo-god, if you will. You’ll still be able to die, but unless you willingly throw yourself into the sun, you’ll be, in all practical sense, immortal. I can then pass off management to you and go take a well-deserved vacation,” God finished with a happy grin.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Anna cut off his fantasizing. “You’re telling me that the fate of the human race is being left up to some sort of cosmic loophole?” she asked incredulously. “Doesn’t this seem like this might come back to bite us in the butt if other… I don’t know, ‘cosmic beings’ find out?”

God shifted uncomfortably. “Well, when you put it like that...”

“This all relies on a cosmic legal grey area. Is that what you’re telling me?”

“...yes.”

Anna sighed and threw up her hands. “Fuck it. I’ll do it.”

“...what?” God asked flabbergasted.

“If you’re so desperate to get out of this job that you're willing to risk some sort of god-like punishment then I guess I’ll have to. I can’t do a worse job than you have, plus it’s not like I was ever going to turn down the opportunity to become a god.”

“Pseudo-god,” he corrected.

“Whatever.”

God jumped up out of his chair in happiness, ran over, and hugged Anna. Still floating by the way. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” He said while tears ran down his face.

Anna just looked down in shock at the old man hugging her. “Y-yeah, don’t mention it…” she responded, shocked at his behavior.

A few moments later he seemed to regain control of himself and stepped back. “Ahem,” He cleared his throat no evidence remaining of his brief breakdown. “Now for the final time…” his body filled with divine power and his eyes started glowing as he spoke with a voice that shook the heavens.

“Mortal, I have chosen you to lead humanity into the future. To guide and protect them. To be their shepherd and their sword if need be. You will be my successor and will inherit my powers.” A faint smile could be seen on his face. “Do you accept?”

“I do,” Anna responded with a grand smile on her face.

And then she exploded.