“It is an honour to meet you, King Alfonso.” Ado managed, finding it remarkably difficult to speak suddenly. There were many things she had been prepared for, upon entering this meeting, and on that long list of nasty surprises and jarring offsets, somehow a man’s bared cock had failed to appear. Her mind was slowed, churning by as she tried to blink back her surprise and simultaneously recall all the carefully woven plans it had scattered from her thoughts.

If the King’s intent had been to cause her distress, he did not seem to extract any satisfaction from the obvious sign of his having succeeded. He merely sat there, legs, if anything, widening slightly while she spoke.

“I am here on the behalf of Silenos Shaiagrazni.” Ado pressed. “It is his desire to establish diplomatic relations with your people, and perhaps even have you join him.”

Alfonso seemed more amused than thoughtful, which was never a good result when offering a proposition.

“Really?” He mused. “Interesting, and why would I accept? I’m quite well off now, you know. I don’t suppose Shaiagrazni has mountains of gold, or jewels, hm? No secret trove of riches or ancient relics?”

Ado felt her irritation bubbling up, it was bad enough that she be forced to prove herself the superior of her idiot brothers- bad enough she work with the fear of being replaced by one hanging over her neck like a guillotine blade- she just had to get the stupid pervert as her first task.

“No,” She replied, “But he has- oh my God.”

There was really nothing more to be said, the sight of King Alfonso peeling back the skin around the tip of his cock, scratching the flesh under it and sniffing the fingers involved just about shook all the coherence from Ado’s thoughts. She scrambled to get them back, even as he got to his feet and walked across the room.

“You know, I receive a lot of these offers.” The King noted. “They’re never very appealing, though. Odd that. Everybody would like my assistance, but nobody is willing to pay for it. That’s just poor negotiating if you ask me.”

Ado barely heard him, he’d started smearing some strange jelly from a bowl onto his nipples and moaning.

“Can you take this seriously?!” She snapped, temper flaring. “Perhaps you’d get better offers if you didn’t act like some…Some…”

He eyed her, smiling still.

“Oh, no, don’t stop on my account. By all means, speak your mind.”

Ado blinked, trying to pick through the confusing mess her mind had become, vividly aware that she’d somehow lost control of just about every facet of the conversation within the span of a single minute.

It was Collin Baird who regained it for her side.

“You know, as impressive a display as this is, I’m afraid it’s really not going to carry you very far here.”

Ado frowned, eying him, confused. Alfonso just tilted his head fractionally, seeming more intrigued.

“I beg your pardon?” He asked.

“I mean,” Baird pressed, “That I know what you’re doing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fine strategy. Nobby nobs are plenty squeamish, and if this one was on her own I’m sure you’d be running rings around her while she tried not to screech the word “degenerate” as loud as she could. But I’m a Kaltan, and my dad was a peasant. I’m a bit less…Prim. I know what it looks like to use that against an aristocrat because it’s one of my favourite tactics too, though with a bit less…Skin.”

The King met his eye, staring long and hard while the dreamy smile remained plastered across his face. Then he sighed.

“Ah, bugger, very well then. It was worth a try.” He shrugged, pulling his robe closed without a moment’s hesitation and clapping his hands. A wash bowl was brought through, complete with soap. He used both liberally on his hands.

Ado was too stunned to say anything, but King Alfonso was far more talkative all of a sudden.

“Well then, let’s just cut to the meat of things. I know why you’re here. The Dark Lord is approaching and you’ve realised that you need more meat for Shaiagrazni’s monsters, and you figured the best way to get it is by absorbing a nation already proven to be morally flexible in terms of allowing such evil magics. And if that leaves the Dark Lord with one less ally in the neighbouring regions than he expected upon arrival, all the better. That about cover it?”

She nodded, guard raising. He was sharp, very sharp, and well informed. Ado was far more used to dealing with that sort than the perverted sex fiend she’d walked in to first meet, but she knew it was far more dangerous too.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

“I think you’ll find Silenos Shaiagrazni is the better choice, diplomatically speaking.” She noted. “You’ve already heard of how effective his grotesqueries have been in crushing the Dark Lord’s forces.”

“I have, and have you heard of how defensible a location this is?” The King grinned. “It’s perfect for running interference in other conflicts. Say, between Kaltan and Arbite. Breaking up supply lines, for instance, and starving the former out when they’ve just gotten through a siege already. That sort of thing brings a lot of favour and rewards. Why, General Venka was made one of the Dark Lord’s commanders for less.”

Baird’s face twitched at that, a grin plucking at his lips.

“And have you been doing much reading on the General, lately?” He asked.

The King shivered.

“I admit, your master may have the Dark Lord beaten out in cruelty, that much is true, but the test of military might still remains against him, and by no small margin.”

“But that’s assuming you succeed.” Ado noted. “Do you really want to risk drawing the ire of Arbite on top of everyone already against you?”

The King sighed. “My dear, half the world turned against me the moment my nation joined the Dark Lord.”

“And the Dark Lord will be rewarding you only if you manage to disrupt Kaltan supply lines.” Baird countered. The King frowned.

“And?”

“And,” The mudboot continued, “I think you should consider the practicality of doing that very, very carefully. Most of our Knights died in the purges, know who we have left? Sneaky fuckers, like me. Rangers. Fast, stealthy, accurate bowmen who can take a head off from one thousand paces and have recently started developing quite a disturbing fondness for Shaiagrazni’s strange blasting-fluids.”

The King swallowed, thoughtful now, but not backing down.

“Are you suggesting that it’s somehow impossible to interfere with Kaltan supplies?” He sounded cocky again, amused. It all bounced off Baird like arrows against steel plate.

“I’m not suggesting anything.” The boy replied, smiling now. But not smiling like a man. His grin was too wide, with far too many teeth. Too hungry. Like a wolf staring at the sheep pen. “I’m telling you that if you move against Kaltan, we’ll send some nasty, horrible Rangers to break into your city. We’ll kill you, then we’ll go looking for your family, all the women, all the cute little kiddies, and we’ll cut their fucking throats in their sleep. Start on us, and your entire fucking family dies. Maybe we lose after, but you lose first.”

It was there again, the hatred. Like a blast furnace with its door left open, Ado had to resist the urge to wince and turn away from the glare of human malice on display before her.

“Are you threatening me, boy?” King Alfonso asked, sounding caught between the twinned extremes of fascination and fury. Baird just shrugged.

“I’m telling you my boys’ll kill all your children if you move on us, you can consider that a threat if you want. It’s meant as a promise.”

Silence, silence so thick it might have stopped a trebuchet stone. Ado felt a chill run down her spine, found herself half-certain she was about to watch one or both men charge at each other in a maelstrom of sharp edges and violence. But nobody moved.

“Fascinating.” The King breathed, at last. “I’d heard that Kaltans were a contentious bunch, heard your father called a butcher, but from all my actual research you always seemed a fairly cautious, even moderate group. More concerned with survival and sustaining your new little republic than actually killing your enemies. You, though…You seem to be something different. What do you suppose the great Finlay Baird would think about you now?”

“Doesn’t matter what my dad would think.” Baird replied. “He’s dead and rotting, and dead people don’t know what the living ones are doing. If you think my father’s memory is something I’ll hesitate to cross then you’re dumber than the brainless moron who killed him.”

More silence, which Ado reckoned was fair enough given the horrific exchanges that continuously interrupted it.

“As intimidating as you are, Mr Baird, I really must refuse. It’s not that I’m not afraid of your people, you understand. I’m just a great deal more afraid of my own.” Alfonso seemed downright chirpy, despite everything, while Baird looked at him the way a cat might a cornered mouse.

“That’s your final answer?” Baird asked. Ado didn’t even bother speaking more, finding herself entirely lost and suddenly devoid of control in the conversation. This wasn’t diplomacy, it was a threat of violence, and that was something she had no business in bolstering with her own tongue.

“I’m afraid it is.” The King replied, solemnly. Baird just kept staring.

“Then it’s war.” He replied, and Ado sensed no small whisper of relish in his voice. “I’ll see you soon.”

Ado half expected to be ambushed on their way out of the castle, and then again as they made it through the streets. They were not, but her anxiety was barely abated by the fact. It wasn’t until they were almost at Ironbane’s outer wall that she finally felt confident enough to actually speak, and her fury was too great to be hidden as she did.

“What the fuck was that?!” She demanded, glaring at the damned caveman she’d been assigned to. For his part, Baird seemed to consider her displeasure as important as he did everything else about her, meeting it with no more than a blank, level gaze that spoke of tedium and irritation more than regret.

“I saw things weren’t going well, you were cocking up the negotiation, so I moved things into easier territory. That didn’t work either, but it was worth a try.”

“You threatened him in the middle of a diplomatic meeting!” She snapped, and he shrugged.

“Some people need a bit of threatening, didn’t pan out this time but you’d be surprised how often it does.”

“Not with Kings!” Ado almost snarled, they were past the gates now, and her need to control the volume of her lungs was diminishing with every extra step. “Never with Kings!”

Baird eyed her, shrugging again. He seemed no more concerned than if he’d been told he ate with the wrong spoon.

“Now I know.”

For one long moment, Ado found herself staring at him. It occurred to her that Baird’s rage had been altogether too big to remain buried, and that now he had exactly what he seemed to have wanted from the start. A massacre with the Dark Lord’s men on the other side.

Was it all on purpose? Had she been sabotaged by the bloodthirsty thug? She couldn’t say, and that was more disturbing than a definitive answer.

They continued on their way, reaching the carriage soon after and taking off at the ridiculous pace which had carried them so quickly to the city. Ado found herself unable to appreciate it, suddenly. Unable to appreciate much but her own failure.