*via shitty black and white web cam*
Nic: so what’s with the eyepatch?
Eliza: don’t want to talk about it
Nic: what do you mean, are you okay, you wont be blind right? How will you enjoy my humble abode with no depth perception when you come over? My house is all depth perception.
Eliza: they said I might be able to see, I get to take it off in a few weeks. My grandma was fighting a cougar and it had a poison arrow in it, I pulled it out and I got culling poison and glass all over and in my favourite ocular organ
Nic: ho jeez, all the best, you will be okay.
Eliza: I hope so
Nic: but seriously what really happened, boyfriend hit you?
Eliza: ha ha ha no no, he wouldn’t be able to do this from where he is.
Nic: oh, so you are with someone...
Eliza, well not really, he had to move away, I get a letter from him every now and then, but the military only lets him send a few letters a year.
Nic: ahh, well that’s romantic if he still sends you letters, means he cares.
Eliza: mmm yeah...maybe
nic: so when do you want to meet?
Eliza: I just met you like two months ago, I dunno, I don’t like the city hub, it’s a bit much.
Nic: when was the last time you went?
Eliza: few months ago to pick up an old IRM 9100
Nic: you have an IRM 9100?!?!
Eliza: what do you think im using to talk to you?
Nic: you USE it? Its like meant for a museum, even the broken ones are worth thousands, there are so many better machines to use for internet stuff, why that piece-o-junk? Its practically an antique.
Eliza: well someone I was related to died and left me a bunch of stuff, this was one of the things, I admit I cant get any new sites, but a lot of the ones running the old codes are pretty good, even if its all I can get.
Nic: how many other people do you speak to on that thing?
Eliza: just you and a few others, they aren’t important though, they are weird anyway.
Nic: you have no idea who you could be talking to, I’m different, cause I run a custom emulator for old code so I can trawl databases for cool info from before the wars. YOU just use it like any old PC...be careful, the security on those things is dangerously low.
Eliza: yeah, yeah whatever, it works fine.
Nic: not the point but whatever, don’t sink too far in to the past girl.
Eliza: xp
Eliza: nic....niiiiiiiic, its been a few weeks, where are you
Eliza: why don’t you answer your messages?
Nic: oh hey, I didn’t mention I do this sometimes
Eliza: what? be a jerk-ass? We talked every day for a while...
Nic: no, wasn’t trying to be, sorry
nic: I take down the machines a few times a year for cleaning, among other things.
Eliza: machines? Do you work at a factory? Why couldn’t you have messages me?
Nic: craps girl, my systems, my towers, my computers, despite your position in a town that probably doesn’t know what a phone is, I happen to live in a well established data hub
Eliza: sounds complicated
nic: only to you
Nic: I should take this time to say good bye..
Eliza: wait what?
Nic: heh heh, well there are some people who like me, and there are some that don’t, it seems all the people that don’t like me know where I live, and all the people that do, have no idea what I even look like
Eliza: are you in trouble? Gaaahhh niiiiic telll meeee
nic: its prolly not gonna happen for a while, and its not that bad, trust me
Eliza: you shouldn’t do this to people ;(
nic: Eliza?
....
Opening with Eliza lugging an awkward box thing from her barn and setting it in the middle of her room then pressing some crap on the side, then leaves the room
when she returns there is a figure standing in her room peering at her ship in a bottle.
He has light greenish hair and washed out blue jacket and orange pants.
Eliza: bout time you got here
nic: I was here the minute you turned it on, but you couldn’t see or hear me till it warmed up
Eliza: creepy...and the red eyes don’t help.
Nic: the old holo machines were a source for scandal when they came out and people tampered with them, one tampered machine in a girls change room...or corporate office whatever...yeah it’s a recessive gene, I haven’t met anyone else with them.
Eliza: good to know I have a piece of perverted history
nic: always
nic: so this is your room eh? Its...charming
Eliza: what are you smirking about?
Nic: oh nothing, the mauve walls and decor remind me of somewhere I frequent
Eliza: you mean someone out there has a room that looks like mine? *rapture in eyes*
nic: uh, kinda, you kind of remind me of someone else I know, only completely different
Eliza: what’s that supposed to mean?
Nic: she’s...ahead of her time *laughs* but if she found out someone else’s room might look like hers the first thing she would probably do is tear down the walls, change the shape of her room, and use a spectrometer to find the EXACT OPPOSITE of the colour it had been, before painting it said opposite colour.
Eliza: she sounds like a neurotic freak
Nic: Im not correcting you
nic: I’ve seen these lamps before too, very classy
Eliza: they’re Geislingen table lamps!!! I found them in a burned down old house. I had to clean them though, and maybe preform a slight rewire.
Nic: they are pretty and green
Eliza: heehee, they ARE!
Nic: yer room almost looks like a neat little museum, you seem to have crap from across the ages strewn about as if a big obsessive compulsive tornado swept through the Vally dumps and stopped right here in yer room
Eliza: ha ha wise guy, I know what you look like now, better watch it
nic: what are you gonna do? I have much bigger problems than yo–
*audio cuts out on nics hologram, he looks distraught for a moment, before the power goes out and all is dark*
Eliza: how unexpected...Metathesiophobia for the win....one, two, three, four, five, six, aaaaaannnnd, panic attack *hyperventilate hyperventilate*
the next day
Eliza: grams, im worried about Nick, we used the holo-machine so he could see my room, earlier he alluded to being in trouble with someone, then he had a weird look on his face before everything went out.
Gram: did you manage to find any candles this time or did you just go hide in your closet
Eliza looking embarrassed and annoyed: I found them! I did!
Gram: did you manage to LIGHT the candles? Your hands probably shook too much and you ended up burning yourself.
Eliza: not funny grams, phobia, therefore legitimate mental disorder *said almost sarcastically*
grams: yer getting over it, however about your friend, im sure he’s fine *quick scene to him dangling by his arms seemingly unconscious* sometimes boys will play tricks on girls to get them to worry.
Eliza: I don’t think he’s that kind of person.
Grams: you might not know him that well, you’d be surprised
Eliza, I hope he’s jus kidding
meanwhile nick is unhinging himself from the device in to the care of two beautiful women
Nick: that really helped that pesky vertebrae! I feel great, you guys really know how to take care of the people who owe you dangerous amounts of favours, do ya suppose you could work on this shoulder, it’s a real pain, sorry about the pun there...*the “massage therapist” rub nics shoulders*
nic: aaahh, this is nice, kinda feels like im at the last supper for a reason, hey girls do you suppose you could end that shoulder rub with a nice happy e–
a large scary man interrupts
Scury guy: Techie...the boss will see you now
nic: thank you cave bear, tell him I will just be a momen– urk!
Scury guy: alright come with me *man-handles nic* how many fingers do you have?
Nic: uh ten?
S.G: ooohh *winces* the boss don’t like to see someone this far in with such fresh hands.
Nic: what does that mean? Does he not like soft supple programmer hands, unblemished by a single work-a-day-in-your-life calluses?
SG: he hates them like people who don’t pay him
Nick: oh dear...im both of those things...
the first thing nic notices in the office are two hands rested lazily on the desk in front of their owner, seemingly in their own ray of light in the gloom of the office, the light glinted of lavish rings and the absence of a few digits,
Giovanni: Nick, my boy, good to see you, however I had hoped I wouldn’t have had to meet you in here this way, on a work day. *lots of hand gestures*
Nic: yeah, hey Mr. Boss, I am here for a reason, but in my utmost ignorance I have forgotten what that is
Giovanni: hmm, now that I think of it, I have no idea either. *retrieves file, his eyes go dark* hmmm, I remember now. *eyes come up to meet nic in a glare* I gave you access to this account because I trusted you, I trusted you to produce results...the way I see it, it seems to me you drained the account almost two quickly, not before hacking two more of my corporate accounts. Im angry nick. You know what happens to people that I am angry at?
Nick: you give them a stern, and authoritative warning, and refill the accounts, im pretty sure.
Giovanni: *shaking his head and getting up from the desk* hold him. *thug grabs nick and hold him down*
nic: okay okay, hey now, careful, I get it I get it. But you don’t get it, I have made progress, I wasn’t trying to jip you guys honest, why would I have stayed at the address I gave you if I was trying to hide.
Thug: he has a point boss
giovanni: I dunno, you could have been preparing *boss produces the cigar cutter*
nic: okay, hold it, where you going with that? Not cool, here just gimme a chance, look, just look in my back pocket and things will make sense.
Thug looks at boss, boss nods, a small folded ribbon of paper and some photos are produced, the boss looks over them, and nods again to the thug, who releases Nic.
Nic: see things are going well, but I wouldn’t mind an account refill *nick places hand on desk*
Giovanni; I admit, you have done well nic, but you still fucked up *suddenly produces knife and impales nics hand on desk, nick goes pale, eyes wide* those corporate accounts were not attached to the same name, if anyone traces you between the acount I gave you and my business fronts, im ruined. Think before you act boy. Good day. *boss leaves nic in dark office*
nick: El?
Eliza: oh, its you, mmhey!
Nick: worried?
Eliza: about?
Nick: some stuff happened, did you hear me?
El: no the audio cut out
nick: damn, was hoping to really mess with ya
el: the power went out too, it was the worst part of the evening, sudden environment changes startle me in to full case of the cant-do-nothing-hebbie-jebbies
nick: wait what?
Nick: the power went out there?
El: yeah why, something wrong?
Nick:.. not at all
nick: hey guess what?
El:?
Nick: I got a new knife
el: knives? Knives are pretty, I like knives, how many knives did you get? Can I have one? I can pay you
nick: I only got one kife...I said I only got one
nick: like three lines ago
el: sorry whatever...outburst, got distracted, you will have to show me, where’d you get it?
nick: I pulled it out of a desk in an ally...I was really tired, so it took me a while
el: sounds like the guy really hated the desk, musk have been in deep
nick: you have no idea
el: nope! Oh hey, were friends right?
Nick: ...yes?
El: can I tell ya weird stuff that happens to me sometimes?
Nick: uh didn’t your parents, uh...teach you about that, or wasn’t there some class you had in school that sorta showed you...how everything worked...
Nick: n stuff
el: uh..
El: no, jackass, I mean like
el: weird head stuff, like sometimes lately, my gaze will land on certain colors in addition to corresponding numbers, like a purple seven on a building today, and a three on a yellow background...I get emotional for no reason too...
Nick: your schizophrenic, we should talk more
el: no no, im not finished, its always a number with its color
el: like one: red; two: orange; three: yellow; four: green; five: blue; six: indigo and seven: purple
el: one color is ALWAYS with its numerical counterpart
nick: have you seen a therapist lately? They can help poor disturbed young females such as yourself
el: gaaaah, be nice, I know there a part of you that believes this stuff, like whenever I see a six or indigo or them together, even as random flashes in my mind sometimes when im not really paying attention to anything
nick: when yer spacing out
el: I do not space out!
El: much
el: im not an airhead :(
nick I know, go on go on
el: k when I see a six, or indigo, weird stuff happens..
El: like all the dogs in the neighbourhood suddenly all start barking as if responding to something that couldn’t be heard, birds suddenly change direction in the air, sometimes I can feel a strange...pulse afterwards, it always seems the six is a warning, or signal
nick: could be you slowly slipping in to the ever entertaining, and yet lonely embrace of insanity
el: nick, the dick, stop being a____?
Nick: jackass I know, okay, suppose I can relate to a level, I say just try to ignore the weird signs from demons
el: nick
nick: alright alright, just ignore them
el: I will try...but they are soooo distracting, like im pulled in to noticing it without me realising what im being pulled in to, it doesn’t feel bad, it just feels like some one announcing something but with...I don’t know, not words and in yer head
nick: if it gets to be too much, and they don’t stop, just go with the flow I guess, I dunno, you might be a seer
el: ha ha ha, first im crazy then im gifted, quite the thread that splits the two so evenly.
El: your crazy, good night, ya goof
nick: my hand hurts
el: stop masturbating
nick: interesting notion, ciao
opening a platinum haired wild looking young man in a lab coat with large pale eyes
nic: Holy shit renford, how and why the fuck do you have a several hundred gallon pool in the middle of the living room
I had to knock out a few walls, *kinda talking to self quietly*
are you sure this apartments architectural integrity is able to hold this god awful thing?
I snuck in to the guys apartment downstairs to reinforce his ceiling/ my floor for this project
he didnt notice you?
He was out, however he did notice me on one of the other occasions I was in there...
why the frak were you there on “other occasions”?
One does not reinforce a practically balsam wood basket weave of a floor in order to hold a 3600 gallon incubated algae orgy tank in a day m’boy, I had to sneak in the next evening, after calling in the apartment board to let them know some scheduled maintenance was due for that evening and they may hear a few sombre hours of soothing circular saw music and friendly banging.
...with hammers
how in the name of hitler’s ghost did you not wake the bastard up?
I had to drug him
renford!
....mmsorry sorry
this isn’t the military anymore, you cant just drug them, and modify their home to suit your moronic escapades
gaaaaaaaah! But I have to show you! Look the algae!!! don’t worry I was dry-waller at one point!
I made it look like no one was ever there...like a magical surgeon, slip inside and never know hes there...
\
Creepy man,
but..
Fuck...
you’ve gone to all this trouble, what..
Oh my god, im gonna fucking ask
I hate asking you things
go on treasured friend
fuck, what are you doing with the algae?
What algae?
HOLY FUCK AND A HALF, THE SINGLE-CELL. ORGY SOUP OVER THERE
ah...mine bebes *renford breathes in deeply closing his eyes* I was informed, that when I play certain frequencies to this particular algae, it makes very alluring patterns. HARK
hark is listen by the way, not look...what do you mean by particular?
I found this particular strain as a cute blue stain under a rock I found in the desert
charming...*the algae pulls some crazy cirque de soleil shit*
Balls, yer right, that green slime is gettin down ta boogie, looks really weird
im crying Nick
crap dude why?
Its beautiful...so beautiful, I wish to jump in and frolic with thine aquatic micro creatures
I’ve run out of ways to express my discomfort...
However, your discovery is rather prolific, I consider you a friend, your secret is safe with me
I was gonna phone the newspaper again and see if they would publish this one.
The “how to pull mid-sized rodents properly inside-out without breaking any of the bones” wasnt a hit eh?
*sigh* no, the secret was a nice strong acid...no bones to deal with *straightens self, clears throat* I admit it was fun, us spending such intimate quality time with each other, but surely youve come on business.
*nick, not really looking hands a covered cage to the doctor* her name is Thyme, I found her on the other side, just sitting there, she practically doesn’t need that cage, I just didn’t want anyone to see her, shes...different.
*Renford, lifting the cloth*
you have made me the happiest march hare on this rock *eyes wide* shes beautiful
nick and eliza
Holy moly eliza, you dress like forty years ago
and you, like a homeless person
thank you, I slaved for many an hour to meticulously craft the illusion of worn cloths with sand paper and coal dust
did you?
No, lets just say I kill many, many homeless people in pursuit of the perfect imperfect outerwear
classy *eyeroll*
anyways, im so glad ya finally made it out here, did the bullet out here cost much?
Oh you know, I get a discount sometimes...
How mysterious, your going to have to let me in sometime Mr. Shady
haha, maybe one day, but first you need to explain to me why you have this enormous...uh, I wanna say warehouse, but there are horses over there...
It’s a barn, its where Grams lets me keep all my Cider
uh, do the people here drink much?
Look at this catacomb, filled as far as the eye can see with barrels of the sweet apples fluids, partially fermented to include the gasses and metabolic waste of tiny yeast creatures, and ask yourself that again
yes, the quaint people of this small town are obvious raging alcoholics
raging fun-aholics, more like
alcoholics
enough with that
hee hee, anywho, I barely turn a profit with this stuff I sell it so cheap
what’s the point of that?
Duh, hobby, numb nuts, I like doing it, not to mention if I sold it any more expensively, the big companies would come it and ruin everything. They have tried a few times before
really?
Yeah, the set up shop a couple times in the past few years, but since I didn’t give a bats left eye about making money, I always outsold them, and still managed to make a few bucks too
not a good business scheme
its not about the business, its about loving what you do, and I like cider
are you an alcoholic?
I like apples 0-o
careful now you only have one liver, and if you break down the word ‘liver’ you know that it’s a live-er, meaning it is intrinsic to your survival.
Yeah yeah yeah, whatever Doctor stick-up-his-dick
quite the unlady-like mouth there, where is the curtsey and bow and fine elegant movements?
Probably got shovelled with the rest of the manure in my younger days working at a FARM/ORCHARD
the world need more females of your variety
Gram: youve been spending a lot of time with that nice boy from the city, I barely see you, I’ve had to fight all the cougars myself
Eliza: gram, stop sounding like an old lady
but I am an old lady, and fighting cougars is not an old lady thing
you haven’t fought a cougar since the last incident
yeah yeah, hows yer eye doing?
This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.
It doesn’t hurt anymore, and they said I would be able to see, the poison didn’t do TOOO much damage, just the mild breaking down of my inner retinas proteins and pigments.
War wound *lifts pant leg, wood* we can have our purple heart *fist bump*
word
hey guess what? Nic invited me to a place called the weasel lounge, down on the east end.
The weasel lounge? That’s still there? I went there all the time when I was your age! I remember there was this guy there one night, wearing nothing but his leather socks...
Okay, no, enough of that Gram, kinda...not cool
bahh! shut yer trap missy! You will be fine! Im sure its kosher now!
That’s what im afraid of
hey kids! Its time for that random segment about nothing with characters you’ver never seen!
Presenting: squid face hand man, and a box of stools (the poop kind)
SFHM: I have a horrible medical condition *tentacle squoodle*
BOS: I am square and filled to the brim with faeces
BOS and SFHM in chorus: gaaahh why are we here, please, put us out of our misery!!
Thanks for tuning in to this profligate squandering of your one true value: time. You shan’t get it back. Next time on “fuck why did I watch that” sweet miss mouths-for-eyes’s face argues with its self three fold while I attempt to resuscitate this blue ham *obvious dead pig*
Nick and Jasper
nick, nick nick nick nicnk cnnicnk cnik
k im here, what do you want dude? You spelled nick wrong like fifty times...
Need...vent...
K shoot, boiling text fury
I was purchasing a used anime series, and like, when the guy went to put it back in to the case he snapped in two, of the THREE disks...
Okay, so, you finished this story by telling me you reached over the counter to fix the awry disk in its case
no nick, not at all sweet chum o mine
I feel a burning sensation
its my brain gnawing on your face
we are very far from each other
distance is nothing to my MIIIGHT
yeah whatever so what happened?
I stood there, in completely rational disbelief and shock, at his complete insubordinance to the measures he should have taken to ensure my disks were right and aligned in their neat, protective cradles
the bastard then proceeded to heat seal it in plastic, so I could hear the disk rattling around in the box.
So? No reason to go ape-shit nuts,Take it out and fix it.
No you fool, you don’t get it, I would have to break the plastic to right the problem (which I sadly had to do) and it wasn’t new to begin with, therefore I feel cheated in my acquisition of something new
but it was used
*twitch-haemorrhage* GEH, NONONONO IT WAS MY NEW THING, AND IT WAS WRECKED BEFORE I EVEN GOT IT
do the disks work?
FURTHURMORE, I HAPPENED TO– well yes actually, im finished them actually
what does it matter?, you own them now. And you can put them in the case as you please
but, the plastic...
Forget the plastic, you can plastic wrap it yourself, just get a machine that plastic wraps stuff, then everything can be ‘new’ in your house every day and you can get up every morning and pretend its Christmas and open all your useless shit and single handedly destroy the environment one false sense of fulfilment a time.
when you say it like that it sounds like no fun
the point, was there anything important you wanted to talk to me about?
No not really,
im going now, im late for something important
yes....
...wait, there was something, I was supposed to tell you something really really important, it was from Dorean..
HOLY SHIT BOY, you need to fucking remember what the fuck that was, I haven’t heard from Dor since he left six months ago, he owes me some answers, and you’re the only one he keeps any lick of contact with (jihad knows why the fuck he picked YOU)
simmer down there gumbo...
You didn’t just say that
k dude, just chill, I have it written down here somewhere, he made me write it down, I just lost it since I cleaned up
you fraking call me the minute you find that paper, and you better start lookn’ now
kk whatever, go to your stupid shit-meeting or whatever
it’s a date you slab-headed neanderthal
we’ve been over this, my IQ is technically higher than yours
yeah, we’ve been over this, it doesn’t show.
Shut ap man.
eliza and gram
gram: Eliza *walks in on Eliza meticulously painting a miserable face upon a tiny man aboard a ship...in a bottle*
yeah? What’s up?
You’ve become a woman now, and I need to talk with you
oh god, no, I’ve had this talk...in school, oh god no, not from the elderly, that the worst place to get that talk from
shhh, silly girl, no, you are a strong member of the clan! Now you must take your skill out in to the world and open your soul!
Uh...liquor production and distribution?
Exactly my girl! You have the power, now all you need is an entity to take up your name and shout your products to the masses!
A company and advertising?
Sure!
Uh, grams, I need a place and funds. Plus we already have our place at the market.
That’s MY place though, for apples and pies and other baked things, with an allotted slot for your wares. You have more than enough to start a shop. It would take you ten years to sell off the stock you have from that tiny shelf in my store.
Your thinking too big gram, this is overwhelming, I don’t know the first thing about owning a business.
You know more than you think you know. Here take this. *hands Eliza a briefcase and envelope*
what’s this?
Starting money, and a deed to a little shop me and your aunty used back in the day, bless her horribly vaporised corpse.
How dismally melancholy, what happened?
She was always playing with isotopes, and that degree only encouraged her, got herself blown up.
Tragic.
She was smiling when she went, well the piece of her head they found was twisted in a crooked grin, and she only ever got that when she was really,really exited about something. Like if puppies were involved, or if a new facet of the universe were decoded..
She sounded like a real character
she was she was, oh and by the way, I put a geiger counter in there too, just for precautions, just check around the premises to see if there’s any fallout left
uh, why would there be fallout? It say this place was right in the middle of this city, why would you and your crazy sister be fiddling with bloody radio-actives in the middle of a crowded city.
It wasn’t as crowded back when we used it, and the laws were a little more lenient toward possession of high class isotopes.
How much of the crazy did you give mom?
Well, she was always pretty sane, however I hear insanity likes to skip a generation, I will ask my friend Walter, the purple bear.
Thank you grams, im not sure if this is what I want to do, but it feels right..
Go for it kid, you only live once!
giovanni: Nick! Good to see you! Hows that hand of yours? Sorry about that
nick: oh not at all, good sir! you see you stabbed in nice and lengthwise with the bone, so all I’ve got to show is a perfectly functioning hand with a cool scar.
*the old man pauses for a moment* you did well. We pulled a lot.
What do you wish for in turn? I have a guess, but im hoping you wont be stupid enough to ask that again.
Oh im more than stupid....reckless, I havent touched the rocker in quite some time.
every man I send through that accursed “door” is another man I never see. You however, were the only one to come back.
Yeah im also somewhat lucky on top of those other rather self-destructive traits.
You want to go through again don’t you? What make you think you will be lucky a third time
in theory, the third time is in fact the luckiest
fine, if you find anything of value on the other side of that thing, you tell me right quick, or if any of that junk you bring back starts making money. And nick?
Yes sir
if I find that you and your head-case friend in the lab coat are double dealing and screwing me, the both of you will be permanently swimming in that pool he installed.
Ya saw that did ya?
I have eyes everywhere nick.
Good to know, I will be sure to be as naked as possible, and invite plenty of hideous people to all do the same
I don’t look at the tapes, I just hear about it
take care boss man
nick and jasper
jasper: the mall, an out house, my mothers house, in your own filth, curled in a corner: irradiated
what are you doing?
Sorry, I was listing sad places to die
dude, you’re a depressing fuck
wedged in to something with your own head occupying where your ass should be
alright thats enough dude, cut the doom and gloom
the sudden horrible numbness, and that last moment where you realize something is terribly wrong, and your finished
seriously dude, your depressing me now
oh...sorry
any dreams lately?
Oh, yeah actually, I was sitting in this purple room, with like, a green/turquoise fountain thing in the middle, and when I got close to it, it began to flow with blood, and the longer it flowed with blood I realized that I felt weaker and weaker, and I looked down and saw my own shrivelled hand before I died and woke up.
Brutal dude, don’t end up in any waiting rooms for shit, and don’t rely too much on what you perceive to be an abundant source of something, it may in fact be a clever ruse to trick you in to sacrificing something.
Dude, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Beats me, I only interpret them...just, I know its weird, and I only partially believe them, but you know how markus is, just keep my words in mind...they are important
you sound like your having your doubts, like, you just winced when you said that.
Its just cause im still having trouble believing the shit they get me to do
heh heh, they tell you one thing all your life, and the minute you happen to be employed by someone of any influence and power, they say otherwise...and ta keep yer trap shut
you’re a smart guy Nick, you just need more information, just trust markus and go with it
I guess I don’t really have much of a bloody choice, im kinda entombed in the walls of their operation..
But think, even rats escape if a building collapses, always slipping through the cracks during times of chaos
I hope im still small enough to be considered a rat, ever since they got me, I’ve had to out code two federal units that had me tagged when I was trawling ‘hidden’ yet ‘public’ databases
weird, what’s the stuff they get you to find?
Heh heh, well the basic shit is pulling up old maps of long dead hubs.
Hubs you mean like entire blocks of off line data? Like corporeal pieces of the lost network?
Yes, the underground ones, so far the oldest one we found was five hundred years old, and it had some really cool stuff on it, prolly pre industrial, mechanical designs, metallurgy, trade routes for an ocean that doesn’t exist anymore, and enough porn to sate the thirst of several all male planets
I’ve heard interesting rumours on some of the older sites that suggest the coming of a block that is far older than any we’ve seen.
How old what do you mean?
Were talking in the few thousand
impossible, the invention of storable data wasn’t invented until about seven hundred years ago
yeah, probably, we wont know till we see one
haha, that will be the day, if they ever find one, I will go on a shooting spree at work.
Doesn’t that happen a lot there?
Yeah but for once, it will be me firen the shots.
At elizas house with nick
El: I’ve been seeing more moths lately..
Yeah? What do you think of that?
I don’t know, I like them, they are my favourite insect
im not sure if I have a preferred living thing.
I wouldn’t say they were a preferred living thing, I just happen to think about moths more than I think about other animals, possibly cause I always come out here on my porch and watch them around the lights
before we used closed bulb plasma for light, we used fire..moths would frequently fly to close killing themselves
yeah, its kinda sad, but its different for everything, the moth flies too close to the flame, he dies, man flies too close to knowledge, he changes, then again maybe he dies too, or becomes something he can no longer comprehend
perhaps, then again knowledge is power and with power, one can make a difference
don’t look too far in to it, power corrupts
hey, by the way, I kiiinda might be moving closer
wow really?
Like the city!
Yeah! I there is an old building my grandma had sitting aside, im finally opening a store!
Well if ya need anything, don’t be afraid to ask
no problem!
Am empty street late at night Eliza walking alone
Eliza: worst time ever to catch a train, and the streetlight keep going out when I walk under them
and I keep hearing footsteps behind me, just offset from mine
disheveled looking woman appears: lucky, I never get to hear the demons
holy crap ya ol’ bag, you scared the bejesus out of me
the crazy looking woman seems not to hear: be weary young one, the demons be a gatherin’ their collective, enough to strike in the physical
what’s this nonsense woman? What about demons? Why are people talking about demons?
The old woman is gone.
eliza at nics apartment
eliza: huh, I thought your apartment would be a little messier and filled with more computers
it is, you just cant see it *lifts curtain to the flashing infinity of tech*
good lord you are like some sort of machine god
BWAHAHA that’s what they called me on the old forum, yer perceptive, any more schizophrenic episodes my favourite little crazy?
Be nice or I wont tell you
you know I kid
strangely enough, no, there has been sort of a radio silence for the bothersome numbers, its really inconsistent
well if it was a bad case of crazies, you would probably be constantly bombarded with horrible visions of hideous deformed things and you’d prolly live in a nice comfy pillow room
here’s hoping, I was going to stay at the shop my grandma left me for my first night here, but the living quarters seemed to have been burned by something...radioactive *facepalm* she wasn’t lying
what? Really?
Yeah, so the floor is practically a layer of cigarette ash held up with cobwebs and dreams, put my foot through it and damn near fell to my death..
Death? Really? More like twisted ankle, then I would have to come save your ass
I didn’t have a phone, so I would have rotted
why so gloomy? Your rather dark today?
Sigh, when I leave hear, I will be all alone in that huge shop, I wont even have the barrels, they are delivering them tomorrow...if one splinter on one of my children’s heads is harmed the moving company will be shitting through a tube and eating through a smaller tube
your more than welcome to stay hear tonight
are you sure? I dun wanna take up space..
Space? I have much, much space...we will talk.
What do you mean?
Well there is a spare room at the end of the hall with a bed
wont the landlords care if I stay there?
I don’t think they will mind, they trust me, I have the key to it, *hands eliza the key*
thank you nick, you’re a swell guy, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
oh they do, and a lot, but okay, sleep well
eliza and nick, hour later
there was a barbed horn-crab on my wall, I am officially staying here tonight.
Haha, okay, those things are like an inch long, why not trap it in a jar and be done with it, you know they cant burrow through glass
I did, I just didn’t like the look it gave me when I was trying to sleep. Every time I dozed off it would slide its several sets of eye lids loudly...waking me
jeez, you have really good hearing
alright, whatever, do you like it boiling lead hot when you sleep, or Swiss river in yer jimmies cold?
...k, none of those things, ever...isn’t there like a tepid cold place that isnt too hot
ahh, a double subtle cold reference *nicks gaze shifts slowly from her eyes to a lonely hammock in the rafters amid the sea of blinking towers below* only accessible with a rope.
The best seat in the house. The perfect temp, for if you were to sleep in your present clothes, you would achieve the perfect brain temperature to ascend to sleep heaven: the delta/theta pulse. I usually sleep there, but if you are sensitive to tempur–
*look of exasperation* k no, I will sleep on the couch
its not like I will be in the hammock with ya, I prolly wont sleep, I have nerd stuff to do. Unless you’d rather me there...*teasing grin*
pfff, in your dreams bud, the couch is beckoning
not afraid of heights are you?
No, not in the slightest
well im not using it today, so if things get too warm or whatever you know where you are welcome.
Kk, thanks anyway, night nick
Eliza finds herself unable to sleep. She switches positions over the room several times, and eventually she looks with dark circles and a look of annoyance to the dimly lit hammock, swaying ever so slowly in some sort of well described breeze
she sighs.
Climbs the ladder precariously almost slipping several times before finally falling right in to the embrace of the strange hammock structure. It was much larger and more rigid than she expected, like a basket-netted bed-hovering in the cavernous rafters.
She falls asleep almost instantly.
-eliza thinking to herself: it smelled like him, I kind noticed it last night, but I don’t anymore.
*”damn-it” face*
the next day nick and Eliza make their way to her temporary room
nick: so, do you want me to dispose of the bad crab?
Eliza: it would be nice, I cant lift the jar
ahaa, wait what? How big is the jar?
You will see, *Eliza opens door* where’s the light?...oh here it is *flicks light revealing huge glass drum with a fully grown, 100 pound spiny horn crab inside*
YEEE, holy balls girl you never mentioned it was this bloody huge!! No wonder it kept you up! Look at the size of ‘im! How the frak did you get him in the jar?!
Not too hard, I just put the jar under him while he was on the wall and knocked him in with a broom...*the creature clicks irately*
doesn’t huge hideous crab creatures bother you?
Not really, its just loud when he blinks, I think he was doing it on purpose when he saw me dozing...crustaceous bastard.
Well, lets lug him out of here *nick and Eliza roll the hug drum out of the room*
where are we gonna put him?
Well I assume if we put it on the side of the road, the collectors will take it and destroy it
destroy him?!? *worried clicks from the horrible monster* I thought we were going to release him in to the wild!
We arn’t animal control for pete’s sake, do you really want to roll this thing all the way to the wastes just to let it go? I don’t even think they will let us on the train with this guy...”uh yeah excuse me, three passes please, two concession and uh...one crab, its small, it could count a s a child right?”
We could...*Eliza make a hopeless face*
what do you want a pet? These things are incredibly poisonous...and violent
I dunno, he could be kind of cute...bugs don’t bother me
*nick sighs* maybe we can figure out somewhere to put him, I know some people that MIGHT want him...watch out up ahead there is a sharp corner coming up and a low hanging ceiling before the elevator
what? Where– *Eliza cant see cause of her eye patch and bumps her head, releasing her grasp on the drum, nick looses control of it, and it tumbles out a nearby window, where it smashes on the pavement, and the crab escapes*
fuck and a half squared...its gone...
See! Not our problem anymore! Yay! But, gawd damn this stupid eye patch, im sick of it! *Eliza rips off the patch* there!
Uh...eliza?
What, is there something on my face? Hows my eye look, I can see out of it...but...I see weird..
Uh, its green...like icy crystal green
whaaaaa? *Eliza runs to the washroom and gasps* im not sure what to think of this...I mean im glad im not blind, but..now my eyes don’t match! One brown and one creepy green one! Im going to have to get a contact lens...
Hahaha, well whatever you want, it kinda looks cool, you know how many people would kill to look like that?
No? D:
never mind, it actually almost looked like a horn crabs eye...
Fuck, I think they distill the venom for the border guards cull arrows, it usually kills everything it touches.
Well now you are crazy and a mutant
NICK, BE NICE!
I had to.
nick and jasper:
jasper: doofus..
Hey, fuck-face
...I will hack your motherfuckin’ sound system, and blast you awake if you don’t respond
nick
nickkk
cnicnicnicnnicnic
FUUUUUCK, thats it, don’t say I didnt warn you *mashes keyboard, sounds like machine gun*
*nick is awoken by the thunderous ninth symphony*
nick: the next time...I see you in person...I will ensure the funeral will be closed casket.
Guaranteed
you donkey- phallus, son-of-a-deficatory sphincter
whoa whoa, simmer down there Stew-art Tussle-pot
shut your god damn mouth, what in the thirty hells do you want
ass-hat
look look, I know your were busy last night, and didn’t sleep much,
and I don’t usually like poking the hibernating bear
but dude
right from the horses mouth
we found something, well my guy found something
wait wait, you mean your shitty little team of Scrounges actually turned up something of value? Right from under the archeologists noses?
Thanks, I will be sure to tell all forty three of them how shitty they are
daahhhiii, uh, when did you get That many?
Scrap collecting from the desert wastes is big business if you know what to do, I’ve been collecting, repairing and reprogramming for five years now
I know things, and places
and my intuition is never wrong
any who, my petulant insults aside
I need to know
what did you find?
I was actually hoping to ask you
but now I am reconsidering due to your POOR behaviour
my behaviour is as wealthy as any, if anyone’s temperament is in need of a bowl of soup and low-income housing...its your ratty excuse for a human social interface
smart words coming from the guy who FAILED BASIC CODING IN COLLAGE, I memorized the language (among other programs) perfectly, im practically the machine whisperer. I can reprogram a toaster to make coffee, and a coffee maker to genetically engineer seeds, grow wheat and process it all in to bread before torching it in to a perfect slice of cooked bread. If I wanted to, I could even make that coffee maker a rather seductive companion...
its called toast you moron.
Also I don’t EVER want to know of you reprogramming ANY of yours (or anyone else’s) appliances for the purpose of sexual gratification.
Never speak those words again
whatever, you know I can communicate with the machine...
Don’t disappear too far up your own butt, you may have all the keys, but do you know which doors to use them on?
Well of course I–
May I remind you of that fiasco at the border where yo tried to sneak in to their system so you could present yourself as an important foreign dignitary so you could sneak through without them checking your trunk?
Well kinda, it was sorta–\
yeah, im pretty sure you had the computer in your lap, and the image of the dignitary changed to your ugly mug...AS THEY WERE LOOKING AT IT
okay okay, I was a little dumb there, I could have thought ahead.
Could have? You didnt even program veils on to your access point, so they could see which port you went through...you may be good, but your raw power is best put to other uses, and with people sweeping up after your ‘smash and grabs’.
By they way, has your new cleanup guy killed himself yet with stress?
....NO!
Things have gotten better, after the first few guys were telling me the same thing I caught on,...I use veils now
good show champ, now fuck, before we argue our selfs out of reason, you woke my ass up and ruptured my eardrum for a reason, spill it.
Sorry
uh
k, well, we found what we think to be an extremely old data block
k well, why don’t you just date it? You should be able to run a spectrograph on it to determine the purity of the materials, pre war blocks usually run at 98.2% silica, while some of the ‘newer’ ones run at 97.8% silica
k thats the fucked part, we ran it, and it was 99.8% silica–
impossible, check again–
look, we did, there are some strange things out there, you cant just dismiss this as impossible. I know it seems strange, and I know there are no known methods of distilling data-grade silica past the ninety eight-and-a-bit average, but we found something. Im not even finished yet, if you shut your sceptical chew-hole for one nanosecond, I can tell you the other intriguing bits.
For two, the structure of the block doesn’t seem to be moulded, or flame generated.
It appears to be grown, almost crystalline
the other fun part, is you know that last couple percent in ‘newer’ blocks?
Yeah? Its usually just impurities, like iron aluminum and oxides from the distilling and moulding process.
no no my friend, the last 0.2% was a hyper-mixture of mostly tungsten and gold, with about twenty or so other trace elements.
What ever kind of data is on here...its some seriously heavy handed ancient shit.
How many people know about this?
Just me, and three of my guys
keep an eye on them, you may have a workforce, but how close are you to them?
Don’t worry about it dude, I trust each and every one of them with my life
maybe like half of them
a third
k maybe I would trust them with a leg or something...a life’s a pretty big thing
you are not easing my anxiety, we could be potentially sitting on a multi-trillion dollar artifice here, and we are debating if your hired goons (previously produce mongers) are trustworthy enough not to put a long, slender sharp thing through the back of us in to out blood-beater...
Okay okay, look things are under control, I will get the block to you as soon as possible and we can try to make heads or ass of it
heads or tails you porn-breathing fester boil
whatever pretty boy.
I will be there to pick it up asap
bring gold...
You get cookies
fine, they better be good cookies
I put a trillion dollar crystalized Data block in your hand...
For cookies...
If you wernt my bff...
Your not selling it to me numb-nuts, im borrowing it cause I know people who might be able to help
it’s the idea, this is the equivalent of exchanging a diamond the size of ones head, for a length of an unknown animals half-decomposed entrails
stop being so dramatic
*jasper scowls*