In his first life, Cal played far too much D&D. He usually played wizards or sorcerers, with the occasional warlock for variety. Always chaotic, sometimes chaotic evil.
And then he’d died.
For his second life, Cal had been asked what he wanted. He’d answered almost before the half-deaf deity had finished asking: he wanted to be the most powerful necromancer to have ever lived.
And so, Cal had been sent on a series of quests. The first few had been boring, mundane stuff. Find clothes. Find a place to live. Get a job at a trout farm. Get his own trout farm. Build a cellar and enchant it to always be cold. Learn spells to turn things warm.
With dedication and perseverance, Cal completed his quests as quickly and efficiently as possible. He didn’t know what trout had to do with the undead, but a steady source of income was never something to sneeze at. Learning spells took money, and the farm provided that. A cold cellar was the perfect place for storing dead bodies. And he was sure warmth was a component in a number of reanimation spells.
The only problem he had was a herd of stray cats that kept trying to move in. They’d probably been attracted by the smell of fish at first, but one of his daily quests became feeding them. They did keep away rodents and goblins, so Cal tolerated them.
Finally, one cold winter morning, he got an Important Quest. One of the quests that would move him farther down the path of his destiny.
Important Quest 1/2 Learn this spell: Vente aquí michito porfaaaa Note: spell must reach lvl 10 before any effect is seen. Departing before then is not recommended. Inform your workers of your departure, prepare them for your absence. Fill wagon with:
Bedroll
Three pillows
Firewood for four nights
Cooking utensils
Provisions for yourself, two cats, and one horse for one week
Sword, dagger
Waterproof tarp
Clothes appropriate for snow/rain for one week
Items required to complete the quest:
Three glass bottles, filled with reduced Nepeta Cataria tea
Two cats
Travel to this location for next half of quest: image [https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/562759807350603840/1006360766976360468/Capture.PNG]
Cal spent a night repeating the new spell over and over again. By dawn it was up to level 12, but nothing seemed to be happening. At about four in the morning one of the cats figured out how to open a window, and the whole herd had wandered in. Rather than kick them out, Cal chose to ignore them.
It took all morning to gather everything the quest said he’d need. Instead of heading out at noon, Cal decided to wait until the next dawn.
----------------------------------------
Bright and early the next morning, Cal tossed two random cats onto the cart and started his journey. A part of him was worried about neither of the cats being black. After all, black cats were associated with death and evil magic and stuff. He wasn’t sure what orange tabbies and fluffy grey cats were normally associated with, but it probably wasn’t necromancy. But then, none of the dozen or so cats that inhabited his land were solid black. The closest he could get was a tuxedo with a white spot at the end of its tail. Cal instinctively felt that that cat wouldn’t work.
Besides, that one had the habit of falling out of trees into the middle of ponds. He’d dragged it out, half-drowned, more than a handful of times. Cal didn’t know why he needed two cats, but he wasn’t going to spend a full week with that idiot as a travel companion.
The first day passed peacefully as Cal made his way up the mountain. He enjoyed the change of pace as much as the scenery. When night fell, he set up camp and fed the cats. After dinner he fell asleep.
Cal woke up at dawn to find a half-eaten squirrel and a regurgitated lizard at his feet. Thankfully, neither of those things were touching his bedroll. The cats were sleeping on top of the food basket, waiting for breakfast.
The second day of travel was slightly less peaceful, but more scenic. The road became a stone trail, winding out of the forest and up the mountain. Cal could tell he was being watched, but nothing made itself known.
The sun set, and with it went all warmth. Wind howled around him, destroying any hope of a fire. After eating, and feeding the cats, Cal curled up inside the cart. Clouds covered the sky, the first drops hitting his tarp as he drifted into sleep.
Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!
It was drizzling when he woke up, a chill in the air promising to turn the rain to snow. When he climbed out of the cart, Cal found the cats casually not watching a terrified goblin. It was cowering in the small space between the cart wheel and the side of the mountain, limbs scratched and clothes torn. The cats were laying on either side of the wheel, tails twitching every time it moved.
Cal didn’t particularly like goblins, and he did think of himself as evil, but… He opened the food basket. When the cats ran over, he grabbed them by the scruff of their necks. He looked at the goblin, motioning for it to go.
It ran. The cats tried to go after it, but Cal held them back. As soon as it was out of sight they lost interest, turning their attention to the basket.
After a cold breakfast, Cal checked the map. He wasn’t far from his destination, only an hour or two away.
Twenty minutes later it started snowing, making the trail treacherous. He found a shallow cave and decided to leave the cart and horse there. Being evil did not equate putting innocent animals in danger.
After some trial and error, Cal managed to get a harness and leash on both cats. He put the bottles in a satchel, fastened the sword to his belt, and walked back out into the snow. The cats didn’t like walking. The grey one climbed up to sit on Cal’s shoulders, while the orange one seemed perfectly happy to be dragged along like a dead fish.
Finally, finally, Cal saw the entrance to a cave. He’d reached his destination.
image [https://c10.patreonusercontent.com/4/patreon-media/p/post/99833784/70c4ae29c71a474bb5ecff5fb6afbfdb/eyJxIjoxMDAsIndlYnAiOjB9/1.png?token-time=1710979200&token-hash=zSpZFn9CxFkvJa6ybiBqddde1M80Ary8IfRsGfggKKk%3D]
Important Quest 2/2 Take cats inside cave Find altar with three bowls at the base Pour the contents of each bottle into a bowl Allow the cats to drink while reciting the spell learned earlier Await judgment
Cal wasn’t sure what he was going to be judged for, but he felt confident.
He walked into the cave, grateful to be out of the snow. The cats woke up from their naps, the orange one running in front while the grey one climbed to the ground. They explored as much as the leashes allowed them, excited and attentive.
Cal made his way into the darkness, seeing carvings on the walls. He’d expected carvings or paintings, but he’d expected them to be of people. He’d expected skeletons or zombies, armies of undead following great and powerful leaders.
All the carvings here… were of cats. Cats playing, hunting, sleeping, eating. Nothing but cats.
The cave grew too dark for him to see. And yet, as his eyes adjusted, he saw something. A single ray of sunlight was shining down, deep in the cave. The cats stopped their wanderings, almost dragging him towards it.
When he got close enough, he saw it was the altar. A raised plinth had three silver bowls set into it. And on top… was a cat. A four-foot marble statue of a cat, with sapphire eyes and a silver collar and tail cuff, but it was still a cat.
Cal got the feeling something was off here. Not that he didn’t like cats, well really he preferred dogs, but he wasn’t sure how cats were going to help him raise an army of the dead.
Still, he had a quest to complete. He poured tea into the bowls, dropped the leashes, and recited the spell.
The cave came alive. Translucent blue cats leapt from the walls, stampeding towards the bowls. They congregated around the side bowls, leaving the center one untouched.
Before Cal could seriously wonder why, the statue moved. It blinked, yawned, stretched, and knelt down to drink. Cat spirits rubbed against it, filling the cave with their rumbling purr. It drank until the bowl was dry, a ruby tongue licking the dish clean. The living cats watched the statue, staring at it intently. The cat spirits scattered, jumping back into the walls.
The statue sat up, looking directly into Cal’s eyes. Its gaze pierced his soul, trapping him there. This was the judgment. He was being judged, and he was terrified.
Suddenly it stood, arched its back, and started heaving. It hacked, coughing something out of its stomach. With one last hurk, a stone ball flew out of the statue’s mouth, landing at Cal’s feet. It cracked apart, something glinting at its center. The statue sat back on the plinth, licked its whiskers a few times, flicked its tail around to cover its front paws, and grew still. Whatever life had possessed the marble was now gone.
Cal… knelt down. Feeling only mildly disgusted, he picked the shiny thing out of the upchucked rock. It was a ring; a gold band with a sapphire on top. The metal around the stone had been made to look like a cat, front and back paws stretched out to circle it. On the band itself were etched four letters. Cal turned the ring, trying to see them in the dim light.
N…
E…
K…
…O
Oh.
Oh.
----------------------------------------
It is said the Great Nekomancer Cal sat at the entrance of the cave for hours, pondering the enormity of the gift he’d been given.
It is said the Commander of All Felines put the ring on and learned its potential from Merp the Grey and Skeem the Orange.
The Liberator of Goblins then returned down the mountain, filled with purpose and determination.
Cal, Underminer of Armies, lost no time in building a devoted following.
Cal, Advocate of Universal Education, became known as a man who never agreed to something unless it was in writing.
The Whiskered Wizard never again felt fear or doubt.
The One and Only Understander of Cats, once bestowed the Ring, was destined to change and rule the world.
…Although whenever anyone mentioned the undead he’d go to a private place and yell at the sky for a while. Odd, but nekomancers are known to be eccentric mages. Even the greatest among them…