Lin’s perspective
Part 1 – A hero must always be needlessly flashy!
“…Princess, I love you! fight!”
As soon as I sang the last line of the lyrics, I ran. To preserve what little remaining pride I had, I ran leaving everything behind me.
Damn it!
Damn it all!
I can’t believe I actually just did this. That song and dance routine has got to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever had the misfortune to perform in my life. Well… actually there was that time in real life when my friends forced me to– No, that’s not the point! In this case, the culprit of this event is Kaze.
That crazy power ranger freak!!!!!!!!!
I swear that end reward that he’s offering better be worth it or else someone is gonna get hurt! Kaze! Compensate me or I’ll sue you!
Huff! Puff! Huff!
My breathing is getting erratic, I must erase this from my memory!
Hey subconscious! This event never happened you got that?!!
It’s just like those dreams that you forget as soon as you wake up.
Yes! That’s it, think happy thoughts!
Like the time you got the Creature Shard drop which a certain friend spent 4 hours farming for on the first kill.
Or when another friend lost faith in humanity because he stacked it and no-one helped him.
Or that time you dodged a thrown half-eaten apple and it hit someone else in the balls .
Ah, those were the good times….
And above all! You must… I must, remain optimistic!!!
I ran without a destination in mind. I simply ran until I could no longer run any more. Eventually panting for breath, I slowed down to walk.
But my mind is calm now. Physical exertion can do that you see…
Like a lake of still water nothing can disturb me.
Hime Hime song what’s that? That incident has been completely erased from my memory. Lalalalalalala, this doesn’t bother me at all.
I’m not traumatised by bicycles now or anything. That doesn’t shake me at all. I’m like a lake of still water now, wait I already said that didn’t I?
“Come on you say it! Fight on!”
“… I love you! Become my princess and marry me!”
WHO SAID THAT?!
I reacted to the words “I love you” “princess” and “fight”, but immediately calmed down when I realised that the source of these voices were just some random strangers. In other words, the topic of their conversation had nothing to do with me. Having concluded that, I calmly continued on my way.
Hahaha it’s not like I’m overly tense about the matter or anything. There’s no point crying over spilt milk. My mind is as calm as a lake of still water. I absolutely don’t care about the rumours that will sprout–
“Hey did you hear about that that player who started singing–”
WHAT! WHERE! MORTAL! WHAT IS THIS EVENT YOU SPEAK OF?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“–Ah yeah I did. It happened uptown didn’t it? That girl had a nice voice, apparently the bard class exists. ”
Oh so the bard class exists huh? Hahahahaha False alarm.
As I walked pass another random group of gossiping players, I finally resigned myself to the fact. I cannot hide the truth from myself any longer.
I have become overly paranoid.
I probably also have a mild trauma against power rangers and bicycles as well now…
Cha! Cha! Cha! Cha!
Ah, speak of the devil. I heard a bunch of strange sounds nearby which could only signify the arrival of one person.
I looked around and saw a certain man dressed in a red skinsuit and red glassy helmet beckoning me by continuously making strange poses from an alleyway.
This guy… How long has he been there? Actually, how did he find me?
Resigning myself to my fate, I join Kaze in the alleyway.
“Look out!”
“Wah?! Ow…”
Before I could speak, Kaze suddenly pushed me, sending me falling on my backside.
Plop!
Something dark green and wet dropped from the sky. It landed with a sickening splat right where I would have been standing if Kaze hadn’t pushed my away. The state of the art 99% realism of Royal Road allowed me to perfectly appreciate the accompanying horrible smell that assaulted my nostrils.
I look in the sky and see a giant bird flying.
Did… Did that bird just try to shat on me?
I turned to stare at Kaze. He seemed to be trembling with rage. Kaze pointed at the giant bird and yells with anger evident in his voice:
“You… Not only do you have the nerve to trespass into a human city but you also went as far as defecating on the streets as well! Not only that, you almost hit me! Roc! As a hero I cannot overlook your actions!”
“Squawk!”
The giant bird, the roc, squawked defiantly back at Kaze. I hadn’t almost been crapped on by that roc I might have thought that this was quite a comedic situation to be in. However, right now, I won’t deny that I also hold anger against that roc. (For being almost crapped on that is.)
“----fy!”
Kaze bent over and muttered something I couldn’t hear.
The roc’s… excrement suddenly gained a golden glow and compressed into a ball.
“W–What are you doing?”
“A hero’s presence is always purifying!”
With a nonsensical answer, Kaze picked the ball off the ground and appeared to glare at the roc (Since I couldn’t see under his visor this was all my assumption).
“Squawk!”
As if sensing danger the roc starting flying away, however Kaze didn’t seem at all troubled by this. Kaze cocked back his hand and balanced on one leg making a stance like a baseball pitcher about to throw.
“Certain kill: Go shit in your own home Hero throw version 3.0 Lite!!!!!!!”
“What kind of attack name is that!!!”
With a pitch so fast that I couldn’t even see him move, Kaze threw the bird poop back at the roc.
Bong!
With a strange sound the roc started falling as if it were hit by a rock then–
A random series of consecutive explosions erupted around the roc!
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
“I…That… How… How is it exploding?!!!!!”
“A hero’s attacks final attacks must always be accompanied by non-lethal explosions!”
That… That’s certainly true but…
He threw poop right…
How?
What?
What?!
I don’t even...
Taking advantage of my shock, Kaze turned to me as if he just remembered something.
“Good job! You have now brilliantly started your career in announcing yourself to the public!”
With a thumbs up and a brilliant smile, those were the first words which Kaze said to me after his ridiculous display of monster hunting.
“…”
I really want to punch this guy now. No, that’s not right. I’m calm right now. Since he just saved me from being crapped on, I must forgive Kaze.
Just pretend everything with the roc never happened. After all, a wise man once said: “Bills are like cancer, if you ignore them they’ll go away”. From now on, I will just his antics and continue talking normally.
“I did the task you wanted me to. Was it up to your expectations?”
“Hmmm? Oh course. You did everything perfectly. Actually, even the great me was slightly surprised by your choice in fluffy teddy bears. With such strange taste you have the potential to become a great pervert in the future. Just make sure I don’t catch you if you do! As a hero, I will be forced to apprehend you and confiscate your collections!”
I’m the pervert?! Coming from the one cosplaying as ranger red who throws poop at people?!!!
I struggled to control myself as Kaze’s words stabbed into me like arrows. With great difficultly, I swallowed down a retort and replied:
“I’m glad you thought so–”
“Oh, it looks like I’m running out of time. Keep the change from the money I gave you earlier. Unless you do something really stupid, it should last you a week.”
Kaze cut me off before I could finish as if he noticed something. He grabbed a notebook and a pen from his non-existent pockets and started barraging me with a rapid series of questions while taking notes.
“When you performed that task how did you feel?”
“Huh what–”
“Did you not feel any shame or embarrassment… no? I see… Freemen are shameless beings.”
“Oi! I think you’re mis–”
“What led you to choosing that particular teddy bear? Oh? I see… Freemen like being tied up…Your answers will be very helpful in answering these research topics….”
….
….
….
….
After Kaze finished this one-sided interview, he finally flashed me a wide grin he asked:
“Your name?”
“I… You can call me the great Lin-sama”
Flustered by Kaze’s rapid change in pace, I was slow in my response. By the time I responded, Kaze had started to once again demonstrate his immense physical prowess by bouncing off the sides of nearby buildings at high speed laughing madly.
How should I put it? Kaze is a strange person. I can’t decide whether or not to like him or to hate him.
Well, at least I got the last–
“Hahahahaha! Lynn’s a girl’s name you damn pervert! Hahahahaha!!!!”
“…”
Damn it! This guy won’t let me get the last word in either!
Part 2 – Gale Titenflame
I turned around sighing.
Royal Road has got to be the most stressful game I have played in recent times. Considering the fact that I have only been playing for about an hour, that’s saying something. Well at least no-one I know is aware of what I’m doing through–
I froze.
Standing behind me was one of my real life acquaintances.
“…”
“…”
Could this world please stop fucking with me?
Seriously, why now? Moreover, why did I have to be this guy?
Out of all my friends, this guy is one of the few which I need to be really careful around since I never know when he’s going to stab me in the back.
How much did he see?
Depending on the answer to that question, I may have to end his life…
Well, jokes aside, the vibes of an aspiring mastermind who would pose as an information broker and shamelessly declare “I love humans!” could certainly be felt from his character. Though, he actually hasn’t done anything malicious in a long time, you could never be too careful around this guy.
“Was that a power ranger I just saw?”
Guh… The first question he asked me was the one I wanted to avoid answering the most. That being said, if our roles were reversed I’m pretty sure I would have asked the same question.
“–That…”
My thinking process was still somewhat jumbled up by my conversation with Kaze. Nevertheless, I quickly forced myself to switch mental gears and give a coherent response.
“…There’s a perfectly good reason for this. But no matter what you will never get it out of me!”
Seeing that I didn’t want to talk about it, my “friend” immediately changed the subject of the conversation.
“Well that aside, I did not expect to meet you in-game so soon.”
“Yeah. What are the chances? I pick a random city but I still end up meeting you here.”
Hearing my reply, a sinister smile split across his face.
“You were wearing a very evil expression just now. Just what were you thinking of?”
What is he scheming? Just like when dealing with Kaze, I need to play full attention to whatever this guy says or else I might regret it in the future.
“What’s with that look? Have some faith in me well ya! I’m definitely not thinking of how to frame you and get a large bounty on your head…”
“Thanks… If I ever get in that sort of situation I know who to blame then I guess.”
“Oh so you get it then! I’m innocent! By the way if you ever get in that situation call me. I’ll be the first person to hand you in.”
“Hey!”
…
…
…
…
My conversation with my friend, “Satoshi”, continued onwards in the same light-hearted manner for quite some time.
After exchanging information and speculating a bit about the game, we added each other to our respective friend’s list and went our separate ways.
We actually had considered exploring the town together and probably would have done so if this was another game, but Royal Road was so vast and there was a conflict of interest so we decided against it.
After Satoshi left, I took a moment to look up and appreciate the feel of the city. Yes. That’s right, take deep breaths and enjoy the fresh air…
Deep breaths.
Deep breaths…
Okay now that I have calmed down, what should I do next?
Currently, I don’t know where I am on my map so finding that out should be the number one priority on my to-do list.
After that, I should go and investigate places where I could get my dream class.
In case you don’t remember what that was let me give you a refresher.
My ideal class is something that can use both magic and melee combat. A hybrid if you will. A balance between offense and defence would be nice as well.
To learn magic one needed an intelligence stat of over 300 or to have a magic based class. However, magic classes can’t equip heavy armour so close combat seems to be a no go for them.
What happens if I chose a magic based class, learnt some spells and then switched to a warrior class then? I should still be able to use magic right? The spells will be weaker but I can still use them right?
If I need to learn more spells then I’ll just temporarily switch back to a magic class, learn the spells and then switch back.
Switching classes might cost something but according to Satoshi public services are free. I trust Satoshi’s information but if class changes are not considered a public service there’s still no loss for me. Of course, if this actually works I plan on abusing that flaw maliciously…
And there you have it. That is my method of obtaining my original class.
To do that I should probably go and visit the Warrior’s Guild and the Magic Guild.
Anyway, according to my map the Warrior’s Guild should be the closest from the town square.
So in the end, my objectives are:
1. Find out my current location
2. Visit the Warrior’s Guild
3. Visit the Magic Guild
Okay, let’s do this!
In the end, performing objective 1 and 2 too much longer than I expected. Objective 1 was simple enough but actually getting to the Warrior’s Guild was surprisingly difficult.
The map I had was slightly out of date so some of the paths that I tried to take no longer existed or were blocked off. Some new buildings which weren’t on the map also made it a great deal harder to use the map than it should have been.
But eventually I found it. The Warrior’s guild was a large stone building which seemed to be the norm for the buildings in this city.
The entrance of the building lead to a small waiting room with a line of clerks at a counter. Posters covered one of the walls on the side.
Entering the building, I spoke to the clerk and discovered a problem with my logic.
My theory was valid. It would probably work if I tried it.
However in this game, classes were something like an occupations. There also seemed to be some mild enmity between warriors and mages.
Switching between the two professions continuously was looked down up because it was viewed as lacking the drive or passion for the role.
In the world, conflict with monsters was commonplace so lacking drive could be fatal. Well, for NPCs anyway. Since I’m a player I will revive upon death but since most of the world’s population were NPCs I should probably conform to their standards.
To make a long story short, it seemed like it would be difficult for me to switch continuously. And in the end my evaluation would drop with both guilds.
Additionally, performing my method might cause some problems with class advancements in the future apparently.
Thus my hopes and dreams were crushed before they even began.
Nevertheless, I asked about the requirements for the warrior class.
“What do I have to do to become a warrior?”
The answer the clerk gave me was complex and broadened my perspective on warriors.
“It actually depends what warrior you want to become. There are different variants of warriors that you can chose to become however the most common quest is to kill 10 foxes and bring their fangs back as proof. Of course you will need to get the appropriate quest from here first.”
“What do you mean by different variants?”
“The variants of warriors depends on what they chose to specialise in. Collectively they are called warriors but they are actually spilt into different specialisations. For example, a warrior that chooses to specialise with a sword is a swordsman, a warrior that specialises with a spear is a spearman. The bonuses given by each specialisation of warrior is different from the next. For example a shield-bearer will have better [Shield Mastery] bonuses and growth then compared to an axeman who uses a shield.”
“I see.”
If I chose to a warrior then I will have to pick a specialisation and stick with it.
Well, I already know what I want to pick. The hero/main protagonist always uses a sword after all! Okay, not always but 99% of the time.
However, I am a perfectly normal youth in a peaceful country who has just finished high school. With no prior history in martial arts or swordplay, in my hands a sword would be no different from a club.
I could try self-learning from practice, the internet and youtube but there’s a limit to that. This was a world in a middle age fantasy setting after all, I should probably ask to see if there are willing professionals before going to such measures.
“Is there place where I can learn sword play?”
“Rather than a training facility, the Warrior’s Guild handles the administrative tasks of this fraction so we do not provide such services.”
It seems there was no such luck coming my way.
Thanking the clerk, I moved to leave but stopped as I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Wait!”
I turned around.
The one stopping me wasn’t the clerk, but rather the man who had been waiting in line behind me.
Blond hair, piercing blues, handsome features and a solid build. But despite these ikemen-like specs this person seemed to be lacking in presence.
The man seemed to be approaching his late 30s and wore plain looking armour. This man was not a civilian. Even I could tell that much. Judging from his armour and the air of confidence around him, he was not a player like me.
“If you’re looking for a place to learn swordplay, I can recommend a few places to you.”
Those words sounded very suspicious. Just like the sort of thing a con-artist will say.
“Before you try and scam me, I let me say this. I have no money on me!”
The man raised an eyebrow and looked at me with doubt.
“Did you do something stupid and lose all your money?”
“No! I just arrived in this world recently so I have no money.”
That’s a lie of course. I still have the week’s worth of money that Kaze gave me.
“Is that so? Anyway, I’m not trying to scam you. My name is Gale Titenflame and I am affiliated with the Information Guild. In exchange for you answering some questions about you freemen, I will recommend you some places to go. How does it sound?”
Affiliated with the Information Guild.
This phrase sent alarm bells ringing in my head.
Moreover, he was Gale. Another meaning for wind…
Kaze was also affiliated with the information guild.
Moreover, when you spell it out, Kaze could also be pronounced as wind in Japanese…
So, Kaze = Gale??!!!
“What’s with that suspicious look? I’m telling the truth you know. You can check with the Warrior’s Guild right here and now.”
“Ahem! Gale, are you going to conduct your business here or not?”
The clerk interrupted Gale irritably. Judging from the clerk’s familiar tone it seemed that Gale was known the to Warrior’s Guild at least.
“Ah right. Sorry. Please wait a bit. You too… freeman, please wait for me.”
As Gale profusely offered his apologies, I waited and tried to evaluate my impression on Gale. Gale’s personality seemed completely different from Kaze’s.
Kaze was more flamboyant, more energetic. He had more of an impact to his presence. Attire and antics aside he was someone reliable.
Meanwhile Gale seemed sort of… how should I put it? Pitiful? No, lacking seemed to be a more accurate description of him.
No! This could all still be an act to catch me off guard. I must deal with this man with great caution!
After he finished his business, Gale brought me to a corner of the Warrior’s Guild and started asking me questions. At some point of time, Gale had gotten a notebook and a pen.
Déjà vu?
I feel like Kaze asked me the same questions. When I asked Gale about it he explained:
“The Information Guild gave us all a template of questions that we could ask freemen to learn more about them. If you have already been questioned by another member of the Information Guild then it simply can’t be helped if I ask the same questions as them.”
It was a steady and logical explanation. Whenever I had questions, Gale would patiently answer them.
I’m starting to have doubts about my theory. Kaze was more… how should I up it? Random and all over the place. A hero must always been needlessly flashy after all.
Compared to that, Gale seemed to prefer using methods with are boring but work compared to risky and flashy assaults.
It took almost an hour of questioning until Gale was satisfied with my responses. After that we left the Warrior’s Guild and Gale started to explain about the sword dojo’s he was recommending to me and marked their places on my map.
“Since I have some business with three of the major sword dojos in this town today, I will guide you.”
Saying that, Gale started lead the way to the dojo closest to the Warrior’s Guild.
Looking at my map, I suddenly noticed something.
“Isn’t it faster if we just go forward on this path to get there?”
The path which Gale was leading me seemed to be more roundabout and convoluted.
Was this guy trying to lead me to some alleyway and mug me? Was he really a con-artist after all?
“Due to personal reasons I do not want to go anywhere near the church which is down that path.”
“Eh?”
Gale’s answer went contrary to my expectations. Furthermore, he also gave me a warning.
“You should probably stay away from them as well.”
“Why is that?”
“About 3 months ago the Holy Seer sent simultaneous oracles to all religious orders about the arrival of you freemen. These oracles gave detailed information about you freemen such as how you revive upon death or have the ability to learn skills and abilities faster than the average native. That’s all well and nice but the Holy Seer also ordered for your Free General Service event. Since it was a god that ordered it, the churches couldn’t disobey. However, the money for all this had to come from somewhere and in the end, the churches were forced to foot the bill for all this. They probably hold some hostility to you freemen as a result of that.”
Oh so it’s like that.
If Gale has personal reasons of not wanting to go near the church then I shouldn’t dive deeper into that. Though that fact does make me curious though.
Perhaps Gale’s profession is darkness based or something and that’s why he doesn’t want to go near.
Another question came to my mind.
“Why do you call us freemen?”
Freeman this, freeman that. Ever since I logged on it was like all the NPCs were calling me that.
“Because you are beings who are not tied down with any nation and are free to travel to different kingdoms without causing problems in national security. Hence, you are the freemen. Do you have another term for yourselves?”
“I think most of us would refer to ourselves as players or users.”
“Is that so…”
Eventually we reached the first dojo. After talking with the instructor, I basically enrolled in the school.
Rather than enrolling it was more like gaining membership to the dojo. There were no real drawbacks to it and I was free to drop out at any time.
Of course there was a fee for all this… luckily, this fee was put on the churches’ tab for now.
Apparently, these details were the same for all the other dojos in the city. Hooray for freebies!
“This dojo teaches a sword style that places emphasis on offense over defence! It focuses on simply striking before your opponent does. Welcome to the dojo of the Strike Assault style!”
After the instructor gave me that introduction, he turned and started to discuss something with Gale. It seemed to be about Gale’s business at the dojo.
Statistics on supplies, the number of new disciples, the progression of old members, basically their conversation was about the administrative side of the dojo, stuff the Information Guild would be interested in.
During that time, I watched the disciples practicing. Since I have more stuff to do, I think I’ll leave the sword practice for a later date.
Conversely, the hottest topic of gossip amongst the disciples seemed to be about a shrine which increases luck if you pray to it.
When Gale finished his business we left the Strike Assault Style dojo and headed to the next dojo.
Out of curiously, I started asking Gale about his own fighting style. Since he was wearing armour, Gale must be a warrior of some sort right?
Gale didn’t seem to have any weapons on him though. Maybe he fought barehanded? That doesn’t seem to fit his character though.
Well, there’s no point beating around the bush.
“So what specialisation do you think is the best, Gale?”
“Any weapon is dangerous in the hands of a master. It all just depends on the situation, compatibility and luck. However, there is no such thing as the ultimate weapon. Being fixated on things like “my sword is invincible” are the words of someone who never got anywhere in life.”
Gale’s response had a surprisingly bitter tone to it.
“Swordmasters can brag but when faced with a spearmaster of the same level of skill in an open plain they will lose due to shorter range. However, if the same battle was conducted in the spiralling staircase of a castle tower then the spearmaster will lose due to not being able to use the full potential of their weapon.”
Battles were influenced by things like situations, compatibility and luck. It seems that even if this was a game the rules of reality still applied.
“Another example would be a bowmaster fighting a dagger user in an open plain. Obviously the bowmaster will win. However this same battle was conducted in a dense forest the bowmaster would lose.”
Listening to Gale’s explanation, I asked the real question which was on my mind.
“What weapon do you use then?”
“Personally, I use a sword.”
“Strike Assault Style?”
“No, my sword style is something different. Although there are many variants of it, my specific style branch will end with me.”
It seemed like Gale wasn’t willing to have any students any time soon.
Before I realised it, we arrived at the second dojo. After talking with the instructor, I also enrolled in this school as well.
Well, it never hurts to learn too many new things.
There’s always the option of dropping my membership in this dojo if things don’t work out.
“This dojo teaches the Flow Assault Style. This style focuses on parrying to create openings and counter attacks. It’s style that places emphasis on defence over offense. We look forward to you joining us.”
Hmmmm…. Is it just me or are these sword styles starting to sound familiar?
Coincidentally, the disciples in this place were also talking about the so called “lucky” shrine. Apparently you have to donate money to get the god’s blessing though. What a stingy god…
Gale started having a conversation with the instructor much about the same things as with the Strike Assault Style dojo.
After he finished we left to the Flow Assault Style Dojo.
By now, morning had passed and it was now midday.
We stopped to have lunch at a nearby restaurant with Gale generously footing the bill for some reason.
During this time, I finished my re-evaluation of Gale.
Kaze relied on brute strength to fight opponents. The so called power-type fighter.
On the other hand, Gale seemed to be the type who relied on experience and knowledge. In other words he was a technique type.
If Kaze was the sun, the Gale would be the moon. They were opposites.
In the first place I only suspected them of being the same person because of their name. On closer observation, their voices were nothing alike.
Thus this is the verdict of the Lin productions truth detector: Gale is not Kaze!
I am 80% certain that is not the case.
After we finished eating we went to the last dojo.
Like the previous times, I talked to the instructor and enrolled in the school.
“Rather than focusing wholly on attacking or defending, this combat style is more like a philosophy on making the most of differing situations. This dojo teaches the North Assault Style!”
“Okay you’re not even trying to hide the reference this time! What’s with this blatant ripoff of the North God Style?”
In retrospect the previous sword styles were also part of the three major styles in the world of Roxyism. Isn’t this a copyright violation?
“What is this North God Style you speak of? I’ve never heard of it.”
The instructor looked at me in confusion at my outburst. Gale seemed to be writing something on his notebook again. “Freemen are… mentally unstable…”
“It’s a sword style that’s basically the same as your North Assault Style.”
“Oh that sounds interesting. But the North Assault Style is applicable for more weapons than swords you know.”
“Exactly– Wait really?”
I lost stream at the instructor’s words. North God Style only had swordsmen right?
Basically this meant that these three Assault styles were similar to the Three Major Styles but also had fundamental differences.
Damn, now I feel like an idiot for flipping out so easily.
Ignoring my outburst as if it never happened, Gale started to discuss his business with the instructor.
Using that time to cool off, I observed the disciples practicing in this dojo as well. Eavesdropping on their conversations it seemed like the so called lucky shrine was a topic of conversation here as well.
That does it.
I’m going to pay a visit to this shrine as soon as possible!
After Gale finished his business we left the dojo.
“This is where we part. I need to pick up my niece around about now.”
“Ah right, I should go and do my own things now.”
Bidding each other farewell, Gale and I went our separate ways.
Part 3 – The “Lucky” Shrine
After hearing all the rumours about it, I decided to go visit the so called “lucky” shrine.
After spending the entire afternoon trying to ask for directions about it, I finally found the shrine. Coincidently, it was on a large hill on the west side of the city. There were two ways that you could get to the shrine.
Firstly, you could walk up slope of the hill and needlessly tire yourself out.
Or you could just take the stairs that led to the entrance of the shrine.
Being the super energetic person who has not just walked all over the city that I am, I decided to go via the easy path and take the stairs.
Thus, I began my slow ascend to the top.
Each step I take seems more difficult than the last. My stamina is falling… but the top… it’s only a bit further on!
Arriving at the top, I took in the view. At the top of the hill was a tranquil sight.
Surrounded by dense bushes and blossoming trees was an old yet proud looking shrine. In front of the shrine was well which was presumably used for donations.
What a peaceful atmosphere. I feel healed by just being here.
Encountering all those weirdos today really took its toll on me. But this! This place heals me!
Look at that! Not a single abnormality in sight! No giant birds trying to crap on me, no crazy power rangers, just simple, peaceful nature.
I took out my money bag and approached the well.
Now, how much should I donate?
Rustle! Rustle!
I heard a sound behind me and quickly turned around.
From one of the bushes jumped out a half-naked man wearing a grass loincloth and a large oval shaped mask.
Fuck. I knew this wouldn’t last.
With the glint of steel in one hand, the man ran up to me screaming:
“This is a mugging! Give me all your money!”
“I refuse!”
The man’s sudden appearance was intimating but looking closely, the object in the man’s hand wasn’t a weapon.
Rather, it was an eating utensil.
A spoon.
Defensively, I faced the man who then laughed at my actions and proclaimed:
“Some murders take seconds, some take minutes while others take hours. However, I am the Spoon Killer and my murders take years!”
“Are you trying to mug me or kill me?!”
I tried to look for an escape route.
There was none.
The Spoon Killer was blocking my only way out.
“Ooroooorooorooooooooooororoooorooorooooooooooor!!”
With the Tarzan scream, the Spoon Killer charged at me.
In the resulting scuffle I accidentally dropped my money bag into the well.
You have donated all of your money to the Felix shrine. You have received the god’s blessing.
+ You luck has greatly increased.
Duration: approximately 4 weeks.
“…”
I stared at my money in the well with a sense of loss. I can just imagine Kaze yelling at me for losing all this money on the first day.
“Tch. You’re worthless.”
Seeing that I was penniless, the Spoon Killer left shortly afterwards losing interest.
“…”
Shit. I want to cry right now. I kneeled on the ground staring longingly at the well.
“If I jump down the well I can probably take it back and climb back up…”
My money…. I didn’t mean to part ways with you so soon…
“Don’t. The shrine will curse you. Even if the god is dead, the shrine still operates. The operations of godly creations are interesting are they not?”
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
“Wah!”
I hurriedly turned around and fell on my backside. There was someone behind me. But when did this guy get there? I didn’t even hear any footsteps.
Were more people hiding in the bushes to mug me?!
Well sorry to disappoint but I have no money.
Actually, let’s look at this seriously. This is a game in a fantasy setting.
So perhaps this fellow is a ghost? Or maybe this guy is a familiar of the god here of something?
You know the sort of plot where the butterfly god ditches his fox familiar to watch over the shrine for 20 years while he goes and plays around and then passes on his land god essence to a normal girl who saves him from a dog. That sort of thing–
“Wait. What do you mean the god is dead?”
As I ask, I take a closer look the person.
A male youth younger than me. Messy dark hair. Black eyes like a bottomless abyss. Attire consisted of a white robe with a red overcoat over it.
In his left hand he carried a sheathed longsword with a silver serpent pattern on its scabbard.
Chills.
My heartbeat suddenly went out of control when I saw the sword. What was up with this horrifying pressure? I feel like I’m staring down the barrel of a gun!
My teeth chattered. Cold sweat trickled down my back. My limbs trembled uncontrollably. An uncontrollable sense of dread washed over me.
I–I can’t move…
“Dead is dead. It was being nosy… so I killed it. That aside, I’m more interested in you freemen…”
Saying something outrageous in a bored tone, the youth started to circle around me, watching me curiously. From my perspective, these innocent actions felt like a lion glaring down an impala.
“Hmmm… Lin, Human, level 1, no class, 100 Health, 100 Mana, base stats are 10 strength, 10 intelligence, 10 agility, 10 wisdom ………………………. Wow you really suck. You’re multiple times weaker than a slightly talented six year old girl.”
Just like that, the youth started to list off my status information.
“Oi, this serious feels like a breach of privacy right now! Randomly scanning someone you just met, isn’t that just plain rude?!”
Oh shit, I’ve said it now… I didn’t mean to say anything but because of all those weird people I’ve met today, I reflexively let out a retort.
I braced myself to face this youth’s wrath but it never came. Instead, the youth showed me a curious expression and asked:
“Is it? Well that’s news to me. Is this some sort of freeman logic? Tell me more!”
“It’s common sense!”
“What’s common sense? Can you make a living out of it?”
“Are you an idiot?”
T–this guy… I thought he might actually be someone dangerous because of his weird sword but it turns out he’s also an oddball. Then were the words he said before just a joke?
“It wasn’t a joke. I meant what I said.”
“!?”
Did he just read my–
“Yes, I did read you mind. Mental magic isn’t really that difficult once you get the hang of it, though there are countermeasures to block it.”
Then… this guy really is dangerous after all!
As my heart started pounding in my chest again, I desperately tried to find a way out of my current situation.
“Relax. Unlike the gods, I am not some petty savage who would lash out randomly at the slightest wrong someone has done upon me. If I was, the world would have ended by now.”
“Ha…”
Was that his attempt at humour? I should laugh right?
“In fact, you can spill drinks on me, you can even spit on me. I’ll just laugh about it. As long as you are not my enemy, I mean you no harm. I only fight to protect those close to me. Be warned, if you make me your enemy I will massacre you, your family, your friends and your friends’ families.”
Although his words starting off sounding like something from a certain pirate manga, the youth looked at me straight in the eye.
But to say such a thinly veiled threat with such a straight face… there is something wrong with this guy. Instinctively, I felt that it would be a very bad idea to become this person’s enemy.
As I tried to control my shaking, the mysterious youth asked me another question.
“What about you freemen? What does your kind fight for?”
I observed the youth carefully. Since he didn’t seem like he was going to attack me out of nowhere, I proceeded to ponder on his question.
Freemen referred to players right?
Well, for us players this is only a game so in the end there are many reasons for us to want to fight.
We fight to level up. We fight to get better equipment. We fight to get more money. We fight to get more fame…
The youth’s question invoked a mixed jumble of feelings from me that I couldn’t explain with words.
“I see. You fight to enjoy the thrill of it. You fight to live, not to survive.”
With a hint of melancholy, the youth turned to look at the sky.
“…”
“…”
Since the youth had stopped talking, the situation had developed into an awkward silence with both of us standing in front of the shrine. Well, the youth as standing, I was still on my backside from the time I time I turned and fell.
Uhmm… Can I leave now? This position is starting to make me feel sore…
“…”
The youth gave no reaction to my mental pleads and simply continued cloud glazing. Was the mind reading a bluff then? Ah he moved! I’m sorry for doubting you! I’m sorry!
“…”
An awkward silence later…
“…”
“…”
We were still in the same situation! By that time, I was seriously considering whether or not I would be able to simply walk away in this situation.
Would this mysterious youth allow me to do that?
This has got to be the first time I have felt so intimated by someone who looks younger than me…
How should I put it… this mysterious youth has a dangerous vibe around him. And I’m not just saying that because of his weird sword– Well, actually, I think that the sword has a huge part in that impression.
On the other hand, he is definitely an oddball, though compared to Kaze, Satoshi and the Spoon Killer he seems… relatively calmer? Not to the level of Gale of course, but he seems… more approachable?
He must be insanely strong though. Is he stronger than Kaze? Maybe? Probably?
My mind suddenly flashed as I remembered Kaze’s [Certain kill: Go shit in your own home Hero throw version 3.0 Lite] attack. Could that even be called an attack? All he did was throw bird crap at a giant bird…
Realising that I was using the wannabe power ranger Kaze as my measurement of strength, I fell into depression.
The youth suddenly stirred.
Wait he can read minds can’t he? Did I just think something that could have offended him?
Kaze?
Is this your fault again Kaze?!
“I see… If that’s the case then…”
Muttering something, the mysterious youth turned to look at me again.
“Freeman, could I trouble you in fulfilling a simple request for me?”
“… Er Sure. I don’t mind. As long as it is within my power to do so.”
If a friend requests me for help I won’t refuse. Then again, I’m not really friends with this guy. I do feel that we would be able to get along with each other... Maybe… I hope… Please spare this impudent player...
The youth retrieved a wooden whistle from his robe and held it out to me. The whistle looked new. It looked like he was only just recently carved.
“Then please…”
Suddenly I get a flashback of the first request that I arrived in Royal Road. Kaze’s experiment… Princess Princess… instantly I felt regret. This better not be some ridiculous request again.
“Find a child named Aria and give this to her.”
Ding!
Quest: Whistle Delivery
This mysterious youth needs to give a certain whistle to a child named Aria who is somewhere in this town. It does not matter what methods you use to complete this quest as long it gets to the correct child. This quest can be shared.
Restrictions:
A relationship with someone acquainted with Aria.
Difficulty: F
Penalty: None
Reward: None
“That’s surprisingly normal!!!!!”
“…Of course it is. Just what were you expecting me to make you do? So do you accept?”
While I was shocked by how normal the youth’s request sounded, I suddenly thought of a problem.
“There’s bound to be more than one child with the name Aria in this town. How am I supposed to know which is the real one? ”
“Tell them it’s from me?”
“Great, tell a child that a shady person with a dangerous atmosphere around them wanted to give her a present. Are you trying to make me seem like some creep?! At least give me your name!”
Ah crap, I snapped again at him.
Why is it that I can’t control my inner thoughts around this youth? This guy’s lack of common sense makes him frustrating to deal with in a different way from the other oddities I have met today.
“On second thought such a thing won’t be necessary. That child will recognise my aura on the whistle. I think… Wait, did I even teach her that?”
“Aura?”
“Hmmm I’m pretty sure I didn’t teach her anything about aura yet. In those 5 weeks, all she ever asked about magic after all… it’s been 2 months since then… Oh well, if it’s her, she should have picked it up somehow by now…”
I tried querying the mysterious youth when I heard an unfamiliar term but he continued muttering to himself, ignoring me.
Coming back to himself, the youth looked at me and asked again.
“So, do you accept my request?”
“Err… Sure.”
“Really? There’s no reward for this you know.”
“I don’t mind.”
I had no hesitation in my response. The youth made an expression of great surprise.
“Shocking truth! And here I was thinking that all freemen were untrained pets who can’t do anything without getting rewarded.”
“Oi! That was really rude you know!”
“Why are you doing this request for me then? I am curious.”
“… Out of pity I guess?”
“Pity?”
“Yes, pity for the child if I left the task up to someone with no common sense like you! Who knows what will happen! Think about the feelings of the child you’re giving this a present!”
The youth made a conflicted expression.
“Well… rather than a present, it’s more like a last resort measure.”
“What?”
“You don’t need to know. Well, I’ll leave this matter in your hands then.”
After the youth whispered those words, I suddenly realised he wasn’t in front of me anymore.
I looked around the shrine.
He wasn’t there.
I look at the sky. I look at the ground.
Nothing.
The mysterious youth had completely vanished…
Or was he never there in the first place? A real ghost?!
No, calm down, the whistle he gave me was still here. It was proof that he existed. I looked at the whistle in my hand.
It too…
… was still in my hand.
I mean of course it was. It’s not like it could just vanish right?
Part 4 – At the water fountain
Night had fallen by the time I returned from the shrine.
Currently, I was in the town square sitting with my back to the side of water fountain at lost at what to do next.
I just got a quest from a mysterious youth to find a girl and give her a whistle. However, the only lead I had was the girl’s name and the fact that I knew someone who was acquaintance to here.
That sounds like a big hint but I have talked to a lot of people today, most of them I don’t really know and will probably never meet again. Aria could be related to anyone of them but I would never know.
It’s like finding a needle in a haystack.
My second problem would be securing living expenses. I lost the money Kaze gave me so I need to secure a source of income quickly.
For food I currently have 10 units of rye bread which should last be 3 or 4 days. As for water, the water fountain looks drinkable so I’ll probably make do with that.
I also have to visit the dojos to learn sword play as well…
Damn things are getting complicated.
It looks like I’m off to a rough start.
“Whatcha thinking about?”
“About how I suddenly had so many problems thrown on to me today.”
“Is that so… I guess its business as usual for you then.”
“Oi! Don’t make it sound like I’m someone sort of oddball handler– Wait! When did you get here?!!!”
“I was there the whole time.”
I jumped with a start as I realised who I was talking to.
Satoshi lay inside the water fountain staring at me lazily. Half his body rested across the rim of the water fountain and he was dripping wet from head to toe.
“Y–You! I was going to drink that water you know!”
“Hmmm? You can still drink it you know.”
“Like hell I can!”
“That’s not what I meant. This water fountain seems to have a special property that dissolves impurities in it. Its effects are actually quite amazing now that you think about it. Dead insects can fall in it, birds can crap in it, people can spit in it, but the water still remains crystal clear.”
“I’m afraid to ask what you dumped in it now.”
Satoshi made a sinister smile.
“Hohoho you don’t want to know…”
I really don’t. They say ignorance is bliss.
Let me enjoy my bliss.
I am curious about what he has been up to since we separated though.
“So what did you do today?”
Satoshi thought about my question for a moment before answering.
“I went to the Adventuring Guild, did a test and then proceeded to play in this water fountain. Afterwards I wasted a lot of time finding the Information Guild to get a map before going to the Magic Guild which unfortunately was closed by the time I arrived.”
This guy… why does it feel like he got needlessly side tracked throughout the day?
Come to think of it, I was going to visit the Magic Guild today was well. I completely forgot about that. I ended up going to the “Lucky” Shrine instead.
Right now I’m more interested into the warrior side of this game though. Oh well, I’ll visit the Magic Guild someday.
“So what did you do?”
As Satoshi asked, I started telling him about all the stuff that happened to me today.
He way he started laughing at me when I told him about losing my money to the Spoon Killer made me what to jump in the water fountain and drown him…
When I told him about my quest he frowned and uttered words which were like a beacon of light for me:
“I know a child named Aria.”
“Really?!”
“I don’t know if the one I know is the same one in your quest but I could try asking her about it if you want.”
“Please do!”
I passed Satoshi the whistle and shared the quest with him without hesitation.
Although Satoshi had many questionable traits, he was always reliable when the situation required him to be. Basically he would be the only one to do the homework which everyone else forgot about or the person you would go to if you were absent and needed someone’s notes to copy.
“Don’t get your hopes too high though. I could be wrong. If that’s the case I’ll just give the whistle back to you then. Now, tell me more about that power ranger. I noticed you purposely omitted him from your recount.”
“W–What are you talking about? That person doesn’t exist! It’s all your imagination! ”
With a wry Satoshi damped my spirits. Our conversation continued on throughout the night…
Part 5 – The Polar Bear Cafe
Okay!
It’s morning now. The sun has risen and there is work to be done!
After logging out to obtain a few hours rest from gaming, I came back to Royal Road. I actually forgot about the time acceleration in the game so it’s a bit later than I thought it would be.
I am at the town square.
Satoshi was nowhere in sight, but according to my friends list he is online so he must have left without me.
The town square was more crowded than it was last time I was there. More players must have started.
Oh well. I have a busy day ahead of me.
I need to go to the one of the dojos and practice. I also need to find way to obtain a source of income. Perhaps if I ask Gale about it the next time I see him.
But then again, I don’t know how to contact Gale. Should I just camp at the Warrior’s Guild to ambush him when he comes there?
Shaking my head clear, I made my way to the dojo which was the closest to the town square. In this case, it was the North Assault Style dojo.
Navigating my way through the streets still too me longer than I would have liked. If I didn’t have my map I would have gotten lost countless times.
But that’s because I’m still new to this city and this world. Everything seems so foreign to me here. In the first place, I’m more of an indoor sort of person. I don’t travel outside unless I have to.
Ding!
Quest complete!
The mysterious youth’s whistle has been successfully delivered.
With a sound, a system message window popped up in front of me.
Judging from the message it seemed that Satoshi had done his job. Now that I think about it, it was actually quite lucky that I meet Satoshi right after I got the quest.
It’s nice to see all the money I blew on the lucky shrine didn’t completely go to waste.
Anyway, that’s one less problem for me to worry about.
Now I better hurry to the dojo. Otherwise, I get the nagging suspicion that I’m going to run into something troublesome–
Cha! Cha! Cha! Cha!
“…”
Fuck! It seems I was too late.
I stop when I hear the slightly echoed sounds which could only mean the arrival of one person. I contemplated about trying to run away but stop when I remember Kaze’s insane physical feats. There’s no way I can out do that.
I look forward. Not there.
I look to my left. Not there.
I look to my right. Not there.
I look behind me. Not there.
Where the hell is he?
Suddenly the street manhole cover in front me was flung upwards and somersaulting out from the depths below was a man wearing a red power ranger suit.
“It’s a hero’s duty to purify the messes of other people!”
The one making such a ridiculous entrance in public was, of course, Kaze.
“…”
I silently watch this spectacle wishing I was somewhere else. I want to comment on these actions… but the moment I do, I feel like I lose…
“Oh! You’re awfully quiet today aren’t you? Luckily, today’s request does not require you to speak… that much. ”
I’m getting a bad feeling about this again.
“Just spill it out. What do you want me to do?”
“Just a simple delivery. You can do this much right?”
Delivery.
For some reason this word felt so much more ominous when Kaze was the one who said it. Kaze held out another strip of paper out to me.
I accepted it but couldn’t help but ask:
“Do I get paid for doing this like last time?”
What? I’m low on living expense right now.
I need money!
“I gave you a week’s worth of money yesterday. You can’t get too greedy now.”
To my dismay, Kaze simply wagged his finger at me. Then ask if he just noticed something, Kaze directed another question at me.
“Did you happen to do something stupid and lose it all in one go?”
“…Of course not! I am not that incompetent!”
Shit… in the end lying only hurts me but for some reason I don’t what Kaze to find out about this.
Avoiding Kaze’s glaze, I skimmed through the strip of paper Kaze wanted me to deliver. My expression changed instantly.
Are all of Kaze’s requests going to be like this?!
I swear the knowledge Kaze is offering in the end better be worth it or someone is going to get hurt!
In retrospect, that person is most likely going to be me… I can’t go against Kaze… please forgive this imprudent player.
The strip of paper had the following text:
Love Love!
Ever since I first saw you,
My heart has been going super love love! Tee-hee!
As if there were eternal cyclones and never changing typhoons,
My heart is swirling with the winds of LOVE!
I want to meet up with you in Noah’s Ark ~noda! ~Noda! ~Noda!
In other words it was a love letter…
I can now think of several scenarios on how this is going to play out…
Kaze orders me to deliver this to give this to someone nice. They accept. Happy ending.
Unlikely considering my luck and Kaze’s personality.
Kaze orders me to deliver this to a random stranger. They reject. Bad end.
I mean who would accept a confession from a random stranger?
Kaze orders me to deliver this to a kid. Bad end.
I do not what to have a reputation as some sort of pedo.
Kaze orders me to deliver this to someone’s wife. The husband attacks. Bad end.
I’m only level 1… And apparently several times weaker than a slightly talented 6 year old girl at that…
Kaze orders me to deliver this to a macho man. Bad end.
I don’t think I need to expand on this one…
Hmmm? Why is it that I can only see bad ends with this request?
I’m scared…
“Ummm…”
“Harhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“J–Just where are you planning on making me deliver this?”
“hahahahahahahahaha – cough *splutter* Ahem.”
Clearing his throat, Kaze pointed to one of the cafes on the street.
“Give it to the manager of that shop.”
I look closely at the cafe.
It was one of those buildings which large windows at the front so you could see the insides easily.
All the waiters were dressed in clothes which would be normally out of place in a café. If Kaze were to walk into that shop he would be able to fit in just nicely. It was that kind of shop.
In other words, it was a cosplay café of some sort.
Wait, those things exist in Royal Road as well?
I get that this game’s main selling factor is its realism but isn’t this just too much?
The top of the café building had the words [Polar Bear Café] painted on it. The white silhouette of a bear was also painted next to those words.
On the front of the shop was only of those foldable chalk boards which had a list of all the special dishes for the day.
The owner of this sort of shop is a woman right?
Maid café owners are always forever 18 women right?!!!!
Right?!!!
I refuse to believe in the other possibly!
“Well, I will be watching you! Go get ‘em! Hahahahahahahahahaha!”
With a light push, Kaze directed me to the café. Afterwards, he took a mighty leap and landed on the roof of the building opposite to the café where he stopped and stood staring at me.
This… I want to leave…
~stare~
I don’t want to do this!
~stare~
I can just walk away right now right?
~stare~
I will do the request but I doesn’t have to be right now right?
~stare~
“Alright! I’ll do your bloody delivery request!!!!!!!!!”
Mustering my courage, I entered the Polar Bear Café.
“~Welcome Master~”
Guh! Lin took critical mental damage!
The first person to create me was a female waiter wearing a maid uniform. She was quite cute actually but I think that just made me more nervous about what I’m about to do.
After I told the waitress I wanted to talk to their manager, I was directed to wait next to the counter.
The waitress then disappeared into a curtained off room behind the counter. I could hear the sounds of conversation.
Well, that girl was cute. I hope the manager is as well then…
That will lessen the pain and humiliation I feel…
Wait? Why am I assuming I’m going to fail from the get go? There’s always the chance of success.
That’s right!
I must stay optimistic!
I also have high luck because of the shrine right?
Come on please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute. Please be cute.... Oh and please be a girl as well!
“Alright which young chap wants to raise a complaint with me?!”
After a minute or so, the waitress came back with an old lady who had the [Manager] tag stuck on her.
Guh! Tears of blood.
That shrine is a sham….
“… Rather than a complaint, I am here to deliver this to you.”
With trembling hands I handed the old lady the paper. Before looking at it, the old lady stared at me intently.
“Oh… Aren’t you the young man who was looking for Kaze?”
“Eh?”
“Did you forget? I was the one who called him out for you.”
Oh yeah… there was that old lady in the alleyway. If I recalled she had a loud voice… Is she going to yell at me?
“Actually is this also from…”
I trailed off as the old lady started to read.
There is no way this is going to work.
I’m probably going to get scolded here and maybe even banned from this café. It’s a shame really, the workers were cute but I don’t think I would visit this sort of place unless I had to though.
But on the upside, that’s another one of Kaze’s requests down… and goodness knows how many left…
No I must remain optimistic!
Something will go my way in the future! I just know it will!
The old lady suddenly blushed and looked at me shyly.
“If you’re fine with me then how bout we go at it in the back room right now? You’re less than one third of my age but what the hey! It’s been years since I had a good session~”
…
……
……………
……………………
……………………………
……………………………………….
….……………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………
…………………………………………………………………………………………
“…………………………………………………………………………………………………………..Eh?!”
“My partners are all reluctant at first but afterwards they all say that gums give them the best feeling they’ve ever had~ I’m much better than those young teeth you know~ Tee-hee~”
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was a sucess???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is creeping me out… I need to get the fuck out of here!
“S–Sorry I have piano lessons so…”
I slowly started to back away.
The old lady noticed this and commanded the maid waitress.
“Restraint him!”
As the waitress clung onto me I felt myself assaulted by a flowery smell and a soft sensation– but I had no chance to properly enjoy these sensations because of the looming threat approaching me!
“What’s the rush boya? You’re even acquainted with Kaze. You must have the same hobbies as him then. Look at it! We’re practically made for each other! You know back in the day everyone said my voice is amazing!”
Shiiiiiiiiiittttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I struggled relentlessly but it was all in vain.
A level 1 player was still weaker than a fulltime waitress it seemed.
Shit.
I didn’t want to do this to an old lady but I have no choice now.
Super Deadpan Snarker mode activate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Hang on a second! Think about this logically will you! First of all, I just met Kaze yesterday so there is no way we have the same hobbies. In fact that letter was something Kaze made me deliver! Secondly, there is something inherently wrong with what you are attempting to do right now! I have perfectly normal tastes! I am neither sick or twisted enough to go after you like that! Thus I have no genuine interest in you! Release me!”
The old lady jolted as she was having a heart attack.
Shit. Did I over do it?
As I cautiously watched the old lady, concerned, the old lady looked up at me panting heavily. There was drool appearing from the side of her mouth.
“*Pant**Pant* No-ones given me such a verbal beating in years! I think I just wet myself. *Pant**Pant* Degrade me more!!!!!!!!!!!”
As the old lady continued to look at me with a frenzied look in her eyes, I frantically resumed my struggle for freedom.
Fuck! To think that my super deadpan snarker mode would invoke such a reaction.
Is my dashboard made of nothing but wrong buttons?!!!!
“Please calm yourself manager!”
Another worker came from the curtained room and pulled back the manager.
Ah! My saviour! Now I can make my grant escape!
However, before she was dragged into the curtained off room, the old lady yelled out in her loud voice.
“That’s it! Boya! You’re hired! I won’t let you refuse!”
“That’s fine! Just bring him in here as well then!”
“~Yes Master~”
“Eh? Where’s my say in all this?”
You have been offered a job at the Polar Bear Cafe. You cannot refuse.
You have accepted the job request.
And that was how I got my first job in Royal Royal…
Part 6 – A Daily Routine Established
Afterwards my days of playing Royal Road slipped into something like a routine.
On work days, I went to the Pedo Bear Cafe, cough sorry, the Polar Bear Café, to work.
On my free days, I simply went to the dojos to practice or went exploring around the city. Kaze popped up every now and then to give me another task to do, all as equally ridiculous as the first two.
That aside, let’s talk about my fellow workers shall we. In my work place, there are four other people working in my shift.
First of all, the manager. There are no other ways to describe this NPC other than a creepy pedo-lady. However since she treats her workers well and the pay is generous I can live with that. Cough.
Next is the main cook. A female NPC in her twenties who worked in the café before I came. Apparently she’s the sadist/dominatrix type of person who likes experimenting with weird ingredients but since I don’t interact with her that much I can live with that. Cough.
After that is the assistant cook. A male player around the same age as me whose first words were “Ohhhhh! My right hand that was sealed by the Goddess of Light is resonating with your fellow darkness! This is fate I see! Let us journey off to final lands to the ends of the continent!”. However since that guy is actually diligent with his work I can live with that. Cough.
Last of all is the other waiter apart from me. A female player who looks like a delinquent but actually frequent drops things and trips over chairs. However, since she is the most normal person in this café I can live with that–
Wait a second…
Everyone in this café is abnormal one way or another.
Am I the only sane person in this world?
Is this a curse?
-----------------------------
Bonus Round
Lin: Why is this chapter called the “Is this a curse?”. This chapter had nothing to do with curses
Satoshi: Well, argue all you want but the last chapter was the same as well wasn’t it? The water fountain hardly has any importance at all. I think the tread is in the last line of each chapter.
Ninwin(acting as narrator): Conversely this chapter could have been named one of the following: “This is definitely not ripping off Mushoku Tensei”, “The PedoBear Café” and “The spoon killer” etc.
Mysterious Youth: I, appear… from the closet.
Lin: What do we call you anyway? You never told me your name.
Satoshi: From hence forth I dub thee M.Y.!
M.Y. : Why thank you thank you.
Satoshi: Hey M.Y. Between you and Kaze who is stronger?
M.Y. + Kaze: Well of course I am!
Kaze: I do not accept this claim. As the hero I am obviously stronger!
M.Y.: Oh really?
Ninwin: Thus M.Y. starts charging an attack
Lin: Hmmm? What’s he doing? He’s been charging about a minute already–
Ninwin: M.Y. finishes his preparations. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMOOOM! The entire kingdom of Haven has been completely vaporised. Lin has died… Satoshi has died… Kaze has died… Everyone has died… I, the narrator have died urck……
Ninwin gets owned count = 1+1
Lin masochism count = 1+1
M.Y. : Whoops. I think I might have overdone it. I was holding back though?! Why must mortals all be so weak? Well, I can fix this up perfectly.
Ninwin(narrating from the afterlife): Abusing his beyond god level AoE resurrection and AoE restoration magic, M.Y. restored the Kingdom of Haven to its former glory.
Everyone: Yay! We’re alive! All hail our saviour!
M.Y.: Why thank you thank you. You are all too kind.
Lin: Wait! Wasn’t all this you’re fault to begin with!
Satoshi: Hmmm… Step 1: Light fire, Step 2: Provide water, Step 3: ???, Step 4: Profit.
Kaze + Satoshi: My god he’s a genius!!!!!
Everyone: All hail the almighty genius!!!!
M.Y. : Thank you thank you. You are all too kind.
Lin: Hang on a second! Why are you all cheering for him! Especially you Kaze! Aren’t you supposed to be a hero? Why are you–
*Ninwin sneaks up behind Lin and stuffs him inside a closet*
Lin: Mmmmmmphmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ninwin(narrator): Thus the truth must never be known.
Lin masochism count = 2+1