Memory transcript subject: Liam Wahlburg, Ex Red-Cross Field Medic, Business Owner
Date [Standardized human time]: October 9th, 2136
It's a simple idea, on paper. Federation art supplies are expensive, but earth stuff is cheap. So we sell at what everyone else thinks to be a massive discount, then rake in tons of cash and good will at the same time! The Zurulians here at the town of Pinwood had an old 3 story building that's perfect for such a venture too, if you'd believe my luck. It was apparently a brewery called ‘SourSap’ that'd been struggling in recent years, but finally fell through soon as people caught wind of predators moving into town. Woops.
Buying the property was a bit difficult though, mostly because the cuddly little alien teddy bears still hated the very idea of humanity just existing at the moment. While the Zurulians are noted for being more accepting than average, that bar was still set somewhere around xenocidal mania. Even the nicer folks still didn't see us so much as normal people, but rather as an oddly polite death cult.
While going through the hoops of getting a business license a particularly brave Zurulian had actually pitched me the idea of starting a restaurant that shaped its food to look like small animals to appeal to our ‘predatory taste’ while also letting humans enjoy ‘civil dining experiences’. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I hated federation “meals” considering that the most complicated they ever got was tossing a salad, making tea, or that stryu stuff on venlil prime. That and the whole fake meat thing had also already been done before. Speaking of, faux meat is gonna be the saving grace for my sanity while living on Colia.
That sort of misconception was why my idea wasn't just good business, however. It was an important opportunity to demonstrate that humanity was capable of more than wanton murder and baby munching. It was such a good idea in fact that the UN decided to chip in and help me through the whole process. Not only did their lovely representative guide me through the process of getting all the permits, licenses, the deed, and other paperwork, but they even let me bring along my pet birds!
Honestly I might not have made the decision to move out to Colia had Toki and Dave not been allowed to come along. Unfortunately I arrived a whole day before they would, which means that I would be all on my own for the time being. At the very least I did get a notification saying that the previous owner had moved out of Soursap Still meaning I was free to take my first real look inside.
Despite my eagerness, touring the sorry looking building started to make the whole prospect seem a bit daunting. Judging by the main area there's gonna be plenty of work in getting this place cleaned up. The wooden floors are all scuffed and stained, the counters littered with hundreds of scratches from little drunken bear claws, furniture haphazardly shoved towards the far wall, the massive widow dominating the storefront was covered in some muck, crudely spelling out some profanities in languages I can't read. This place is so filthy that the air still faintly smells of booze and sweet fruits.
Drinks, friends, terrible snacks.
Almost homely.
Before joining the Red Cross, alien life being discovered, being sent off to the Cradle, the raid… before all of that, I was actually kind of dorky. TTRPGs, building and painting models, planning adventure games, countless hours spent with my friends in dimly lit rooms making up stories of silly little adventures and awe inspiring heroics. There was an innocence to it all. Feels weird looking back. I’ve grown up a lot since then. We all did, I think, whether or not we wanted to.
There was a part of the counter that flipped up to allow staff to pass by. Behind the counter was the doorway to the kitchen. It was tiny, mostly just cold storage for mixers and snacks. There were a few cabinets for the single cutting board, some bowls, cups, and a sink for washing dishes but not much else. It was pathetic by human standards, no space for prepping a decent meal. The idea of drinking anything without an overwhelming amount of carbs made me feel nauseous. Wonder if that's why hangover pills are so common?
Would aliens even like the idea of role playing games? I want to think so. Maybe they'd find it endearing, even if they didn't really get it. The hardest part would be getting someone to sit down in a closed room and listen to a human ramble about make-believe for a few hours on end. Can't expect one of those legendary 10 hour sessions with them either. Poor bastards would probably crash out after just a short game.
I found a wide door leading to the cellar at the back of the kitchen. Ducking through the low frame and down the stairs, I find the underground floor. It’s shockingly bare, filled only with a haze of dust thick enough that I could feel it coating the insides of my sinuses. For once though I was thankful for these alien's “prey instincts” as they had the good sense to make a basement that wasn't creepy as all hell. The staircase was even fully finished, lacking any gaps between the steps for something to reach through! Unheard of!
Sadly, I don't see this room getting much use aside from storage unless I could convince a few people to actually run an Adversity & Adventure game with me. I’d need to put some heaters in here first if I managed that. My jacket isn’t enough to keep me warm despite how warm-blooded I am.
Doubt starts to settle into the corners of my mind. Would it be a bad idea to include any of that RPG stuff in the store? That whole plan could flop, hard. I’d be more than a little disappointed if I didn’t get to share my hobbies with the cuddly little pyromaniacs. But even if it did fail to sell, It's not like I'm putting all my eggs in one basket. Customers would still be able to get paints, toners, brushes, modeling clay, wire, craft paper, and all sorts of other things for whatever art projects they can dream up.
Trudging up the stairs and back out into the main area again, I meander all the way around the counter to the only other door. Behind it, another flight of stairs, but this one leads up into the apartment. Swinging open the door to peek inside, I can see that It's pretty nice. Better kept than the rest of the building.
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Crunch
Aside from all the broken glass that is. Guess the previous owner didn't appreciate the idea of a human living here and broke a bunch of bottles on the floor in protest. Not sure what the goal was though, other than causing a mess. Maybe they forgot that humans wear shoes and had hoped I'd get cut up? That'd be pretty insidious, predatory even… Bah. Far be it from me to ask someone to be aware of their own irony.
The apartment itself is cozy. Nice common area with a decently sized window. Might turn that into a reading nook. Bedroom's a little small but I don't mind too much. The last owner left their weird…bed, thing? It was a soft oval-shaped cushion suspended like a hammock of sorts. If I slept in the fetal position it would have been real inviting, but sadly I'm a sprawler. A proper bed and dresser would make this feel a bit cramped but hopefully it's nothing some fairy lights and a couple plants can't fix.
The bathroom was pretty nice though! The shower has multiple jets and some pretty intense looking controls. Just need to get a plumber to adjust the shower heads to be taller and I'll be living the dream. Not gonna get much use out of that drying chamber though. I've been growing my hair out since coming back to ‘civilian’ life and that tornado booth looks like a quick way to twist everything into one massive knot. Squatting down to be more level with the mirror, I give myself a look-over.
This isn't the first time someone has tried selling craft supplies, isn't it? No, some folks did open their own shops on venlil prime already. Weirdly enough the locals didn't take to it right away. They struggled to believe that a ‘predator’ was capable of understanding the values and nuances of art, and by extension, wouldn't know what made for good art material. Besides, it felt dubious seeing a luxury suddenly being sold for discount prices, humans or not. So I won't make the same mistakes they did.
Even though it feels like robbery I'll double the prices. It'll still be a whole league cheaper than the fed standard but the difference won't be so extreme as to make people suspicious. I'll be sure to throw in a bunch of coupons, promotional discounts, and other things that'll bring prices down to something reasonable too. There will also be a few examples of my own minis and landscapes set up in the windows so everyone can see that I'm at least semi capable as an artist.
After sprucing up a bit and doing a simple braid, it was time to move on. The kitchen seems built to handle house guests, I'm assuming. It's got way more counter space than a salad spinner would ever need, that's for sure. With this much open space I'll be able to get some proper appliances put in so I can eat something other than raw seeds and supplements…
Looking it over though it feels like I'm missing something. The kitchen is outright uncanny with how under stocked it is. After checking the space 3 times over I still can't believe that this is all they need for food. The idea of going out and paying for a meal at a restaurant feels honestly insane when nobody really cooks anything. Whatever.
The tour's done. No use bumbling around anymore I suppose. The day is young. Toki and Dave deserve a nice clean home for when they arrive.
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Memory transcript subject: Veski, skeptical Pinwood Exterminator
Date [Human standard time]: October 10th, 2136
“Fine, but if I’m going into its den then I’m bringing a flamethrower.”
Jalsung was making a scene again. She didn’t want to be on this assignment but had a hard time telling Quillk ‘no’ to his face, so she settled for complaining in hopes that they'd give up and make someone else do it instead. As much as I loved that woman she had a bad habit of acting like a cub when she didn't get her way.
“I understand completely Jalsung, believe me. If I had my way that thing wouldn't have even made landfall, let alone taken residence in old Soursap Still. Sadly, we can't get rid of it without inviting the ire of the other humans or our traitor magistrate.”
“Pred loving scum…”
I hadn't spoken a single word the entire time I've been in this meeting. Not that I've been trying to really. As soon as I started getting those half hearted compliments from Quillk this morning I knew I was about to be thrown to the auxur. He's never nice, or even willing to just talk to me like a normal person. Though, to his credit, most people just avoid me completely.
I'm a big girl, bigger than most. 4'8” and about 46% heavier than average. It's not Tarlim syndrome as I hit my last growth spurt about 6 years ago, but the doctors say I've certainly got something wrong with me. I pack more fat than usual, got a thicker coat, even my claws grow faster and larger than most others. Getting to hear him speak at all is better than a majority of the herd.
“The situation gets more grim. I've learned of its plans!”
While Jalsung hated the idea of being made to enter the predator’s domain, Quillk's conspiratory whispering pulled her in with morbid interest. While I didn't much trust these humans just yet, I didn't buy into every bit of Federation propaganda like they did. People like them just took it way too far. I've seen first paw how warped this sort of thinking is. Life is rough when everyone sees you as a threat. While most do run like prey should, some either get bold or desperate. Even other exterminators don’t keep their paws off me.
The only way I got the herd to stop putting me through empathy tests was joining the guild. Even then the poor treatment and fearful looks didn't really stop. It's why I'm more than just big, I'm strong. I have to be. When I was weaker I couldn't protect myself or other people like me that just didn't fit the rest of the herd's model for what I should look like. So, I honed my diet, trained, and became a powerhouse. When the herd already treats you like a problem then there’s little reason not to act like one.
“One of the clerks at the property management office has given me a tip. Apparently the predator is planning on starting a business, luring our good townsfolk into its lair under the guise of selling cheap luxury items. The UN is funding it so they can afford to sell at what is clearly a loss for such valuables.”
Jalsung gasps. I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
“It’s a trick! So that blood-drinker can capture people from the cover of its lair!”
“Good thinking, but let's not get ahead of ourselves…”
It’s strange, hearing people talk like this and it not be about me. Just listening to this speh leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
“We don't know what is going on in there, so I need people I can trust to get inside. The problem is, if it thinks you're exterminators it'll hide any evidence of its crimes against sapience.”
“So we walk in without our sashes, acting like the gullible little prey it thinks we are!”
“Exactly! This sort of clever thinking is why I need you on this mission. Veski will also be going with you to take it down when it turns hostile after being discovered.” Right, I’m not here to think. I'm just the muscle.
Jalsung shuddered at the idea of walking into a ‘predator trap’, but they were fully engrossed in the scheme. Quillk quickly wrapped up the meeting while the energy was high and sent us on our way before there were any second thoughts. Honestly, this all was completely insane. There's no conspiracy. Predators may be deceivers, but obviously they aren't smart enough for that sort of long term planning!
Besides, they passed the empathy tests. Whatever we find will certainly be illegal and possibly even violent, but it wouldn't have really meant much harm. I'm sure after we learn enough about them and they learn proper civility this human will become a fine, upstanding citizen! They'll just need someone who won't treat them like a monster.