Petey yelped in surprise as he was lifted off the ground, looking around him to try and find the culprit.

A loud voice shouted at him a moment later, coming from deep inside the cave. "GREETINGS, INSIGNIFICANT BALL OF-" The voice was cut off briefly, and then continued with a slight stutter a moment later. "BALL OF... FLUFF! COWER IN AWE OF MY SPLENDOR AND GREATNESS!"

Petey tilted his head and barked. "Hooman?"

A giant face loomed out of the darkness. It had a long snout with plenty of teeth, large yellow eyes with vertical slits, and red scales all over its head. "What?" it asked in a much more manageable voice. "I - what are you talking about? Look at me!" It gestured to itself grandly with a massive paw big enough to hold four Petey's. "Am I not the most majestic dragon you've ever seen?" Frowning, it repeated, "The most majestic thing you've ever witnessed. Grammar, Vikris." It seemed to be chiding itself.

Petey looked at his back and found the other claw holding onto the loose fur on his back. "Can you put me down? I have to find Dave's chew toy and I think it's here."

The dragon blinked. "I don't have any chew toys in my hoard, but - wait a moment!" He set Petey down and came further out of the darkness. He was very large, with two giant wings and a long tail. He reared up on his hind legs, throwing his claws out. "WITNESS MY GRANDEUR, DOG!"

"My name's Petey!" He barked happily, wagging his tail as he moved forward. "Who are you?"

The dragon stared at him. "Why aren't you intimidated?" He muttered, and his shoulders slumped. Shaking himself, he told himself, "No! You can do this! It's just a dog!"

Petey tilted his head again. "Who are you talking to?"

The dragon's eyes widened. "Errr... you heard that?"

Petey nodded and the dragon threw his claws in the air. "What is the point of learning how to intimidate if you can't stop talking to yourself? And why aren't you scared!?" Leaning down, he huffed a hot breath into Petey's face. "I'm like a hundred times-" The dragon cut himself off abruptly, thought for a moment, and then continued. "I am many times your own weight and size! Shouldn't you be afraid of me?"

Scratching his ear with his back paws, Petey told the dragon, "Why?"

The dragon's eyes narrowed, and then he made a snapping noise with his claws. "Of course! Physical intimidation is a requirement, but psychological intimidation is an effective method as well." Coughing loudly, he extended a claw in Petey's direction and magnanimously said, "!"

A blue box appeared in front of Petey's face.

Petey kept scratching his ear. Instead of going away, the itch was moving around and escaping his paws. He would beat it eventually - he had time!

The dragon frowned at him. "Why are you still not scared?" He almost sounded pleading. "Be afraid of me! I'm - I'm a dragon! With a hoard and fire breath!"

Petey perked up as he remembered why he was here, itch forgotten. "Chew toy! Do you have a chew toy?"

Hanging his head, the dragon went back into the cave. "Who do I think I am? This is pointless."

He seemed to be sad, so Petey followed him.

Petey's eyes adjusted to the dark after a minute or two, which allowed him to see the pointy rocks hanging from the ceiling and poking up from the ground. Most of them had the tips broken off, probably from the dragon's movements. Behind it all was the dragon lying on a decent-sized pile of gold with a few random items poking out here and there. The dragon himself was moodily resting his head on the ground. "Oh, sure, come right on in. It's not like this is a dragon's home or anything. Threaten threaten and all that."

Sitting down in front of the dragon, Petey asked, "So who are you?"

The dragon sighed. "I am Vikris son of Karasch and Meldua. They're the real dragons. Nobody ever acts brave in front of them. Definitely not me."

Petey put his paws on Vikris' head, tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth. "I'm Petey! I don't know who my mom and dad are. What are you doing?"

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Vikris considered the question for a moment. "I don't know, really. I turned sixty nearly two months ago and wanted to try being a proper dragon, you know, roughing it in the wild and building a hoard and whatnot. You're the first creature I've seen that I didn't think would try to attack me on sight."

Petey jumped up and sat on Vikris' nose, his tail brushing the dragon's slitted nostrils. "Do you want to practice?"

Vikris carefully put Petey on the floor with a claw. "There's no point. If a dog doesn't get scared by me, there's no way a knight or a paladin or a Hero or something like that would be."

Petey knew that word! "Heroes are hoomans, right?"

Snorting loudly, Vikris gestured to himself. "Of course Heroes are humans. Thankfully, the only Hero in this plane at the moment is far from here."

"You mean Dave?" Petey asked. "Dave is very nice."

Vikris' eyes widened. "Wait a moment... you aren't Dave's dog, are you?"

"I am my dog," Petey confirmed. "But I like Dave. He threw his chew toy and I came to get it! I smelled it in here."

Reaching underneath him, Vikris removed Dave's chew toy - no, it was called a sword! - and held it in the air. "You mean to tell me that this is the Herosword? As in, the one that has slain countless monsters and creatures with a single slice?" He looked interested.

Petey nodded. "Yup! I need to give that to Dave or he won't give me pats."

Vikris hugged the sword to his chest, which looked strange considering its relatively tiny size. "I can't give this to you! Now that I know what it is, it's the most valuable thing in my whole collection!"

Petey started pawing at the ground, trying to hide his distress. "But - but it's Dave's! He told me to Fetch his sword!"

"Well, you can't!" Vikris suddenly roared, a gleeful expression coming over his face. "Because giving something away is not dragonly!"

"But..." Petey's ears flattened along the back of his head. "But that's mean!"

Vikris blinked. "That - that's irrelevant! Dragons do not care about... feelings... or anything like that!" He was beginning to panic a little.

Petey flattened himself on the ground. "But you're a Vikris! Please can I have the sword?"

Vikris was clearly thinking very hard. "I, erm... I have a solution!" He puffed his chest out grandly. "Acquire for me something more valuable than the Herosword, and I shall grant it unto you!"

Petey jumped to his feet. Now he had something! "Okay! Okay, I will be right back." Turning, he activated Floof Speed and shot out into the forest. He'd seen something on his walk and could kind of remember where it was, but it still took him a second to find it.

He returned to Vikris' cave with the biggest stick he'd ever found clasped in his jaws. It was three Petey-lengths long! It was hard to give away, but he would do it for Dave!

Vikris gingerly indicated Petey with a claw. "How did you do that?"

Petey's head tilted. "Do what?"

Spinning his claw in a little circle, Vikris huffed, "The speed skill. How did you get something like that?"

Petey wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but maybe his board could help. With a bark, he summoned it and proudly showed it to Vikris.

The dragon bodily leapt away, almost hiding behind his hoard. "SWEET MOTHER OF MITHRIL, WHAT KIND OF BOARD IS THAT!?"

Petey hopped on top of the hoard, looking down at Vikris. "It's mine!"

Vikris' eyes moved rapidly, reading the whole thing in mere moments. "I don't even know what that number is called... is even doing anything!?"

Petey shrugged uncertainly. "Can I have Dave's chew toy now?"

Vikris practically threw the sword at Petey, who snapped the handle out of the air with his mouth. "Take it! Just don't annihilate me!"

Turning around, Petey began to leave. Before he crossed the line to the forest, he paused. "Wait, are you okay? You look... less than happy."

It was a bit of an understatement. Vikris looked absolutely miserable. In fact, large beads of water were beginning to well up in the corner of his eyes. "I am fine!" He bawled, staring at Dave's sword. "I am not at all upset!"

Padding over to Vikris, Petey gave him a lick on the nose. "Do you want me to stay with you? I can give you hugs."

Vikris wiped at his eyes, still clearly agitated. "What's a hug?"

It was Petey's turn to be aghast. "YOU HAVE NEVER HAD HUGS!?"

The whole cave shook from the force of his startled howl, and Vikris buried his head in his paws. "You even have a better roar than me. I'm a failure as a dragon."

Petey was still reeling. "I... I am going to give you hugs! And be your friend!"

Vikris jerked away. "I do not need you to be my friend! I have plenty of friends!"

Petey perked up somewhat. At least he wasn't alone! "So do I! Leula and Alana and Rosen and Tarron and Polus and Dave and-"

"I get it!" Vikris snapped. "You have a lot of friends! Stop rubbing it in."

Tail wagging furiously, Petey asked, "Who are your friends?"

Vikris nearly choked. "Erm... my best friend is... Bob."

The name practically rolled out of his mouth, and Petey moved forward. "What is Bob like?"

"Very dragony." Vikris surmised. "He is... big, very big. His hoard is of a decent size - nowhere near the glory of mine, of course. His scales are... green! Bright green. Like trees. It helps him camouflage."

Petey sat down. "Can I be your friend too? I don't have a hoard though."

Vikris preened. "Well, yes, I suppose you could be if you wanted. But I'm not going to give you any more of my hoard! It's all mine!" He curled around it, suspiciously eyeing Petey. Those same eyes widened as he remembered something. "Although - if we are friends, would you please inform any and all Heroes you run into that I'm not to be disturbed? I mean, they can donate gold if they want to. I won't turn it down."

Petey nodded rapidly. "Okay! I'm going to go take this to Dave now. Bye, friend!"

Vikris awkwardly waved as Petey left the cave, sword firmly in his mouth. "...Bye, friend."

Once Petey was out of sight, a slow smile came over Vikris' face. "Friend." He curled up, rolling the word around. "Frrrrrriend. Friend friend. Fur-end. Furry friend?"

He kept musing long after Petey was gone.