Long story short I'm extremely unsatisfied with the story as it is, even with all the revisions I made. So I'm ending this here, maybe, just maybe I'll pick it up from scratch again but I wouldn't hold your breath.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

On the bright side, I'm thinking of starting another (different) story and I intend to do a better job with it. More planning, more details and a better lain plot.