Tomcat handed Clarrina, his latest wife down from their hired carriage in front of the shipbuilder’s guild. The reception room was busy and Tomcat prepared to wait. He looked down at Clarrina with a smile. “Thank you for co—”
“AARGH! It’s you, you...” Zoreena the receptionist stood up behind her desk, grabbed and inkpot and hurled it in rage. It connected with Tomcat’s head and dropped him to the floor.
Zoreena froze, arm outstretched. Clarrina glanced down at her groaning husband and back at the shocked receptionist. She noted in passing that the woman was pregnant. Clarrina sighed.
Tomcat shook his ink stained head and got to his feet. His tail and fur were all bushed out making him look bigger than he was. He looked embarrassed. “Um, well, I, Well I’m sorry Zoreena. Will you allow me to make amends?”
Zoreena glared at him, thin lipped. “I suppose you’re going to say you thought catmen couldn’t have babies with humans.”
“Um, well, you see... No I had just learned that I could... But you are so beautiful and graceful that ... um, I forgot. Sorry.”
“And who is the lady with you?”
“Err...”
Clarrina grinned, “I’m his latest wife. Thanks to his ways with the ladies there are four of us so far. Do you want to make it five? I suspect the high priestess of the Consort would be happy to officiate.”
“FIVE? ... There are five of us?”
“No,” Clarrina shrugged. “One young lady refused marriage and after this he’s off to check on a pair of sisters in Dramatine.”
“Why now?”
“Well my doves, I’ve been busy on Mother’s behalf. Now ... Err.” Tomcat broke off when Clarrina elbowed him in the ribs.
“What he means is ‘Mother’ told him it was time to put his house in order. He’s a male with no concept for the passage of time after all.”
Tomcat gave a dramatic sigh and regarded the two women with sad cat eyes.
* * *
One week later Clarrina and Zoreena were leaning against the rail of the Alessandrina’s Glory’s quarterdeck as they sailed west.
“You could have warned me Clarrina, I felt so silly being married by that little imp of an elf.”
“Me too. But she ranks third in Ocidon’s temple and first in the Consort’s. THAT is all we need to say. No need to mention her age when we boast about our weddings.”
* * *
A few days later the Alessandrina’s Glory had traversed the Nordland Straights and entered the Bezos Sea and they were heading south. Six days after leaving Garonmouth they were hovering outside the once busy harbour of the free city of Dramatine. A town of whitewashed flat-roofed houses with a very North African feel about it that was currently under a spreading pall of smoke.
Tomcat and the lieutenant in charge of the marines were studying the town with their binoculars. The passengers were crowded on deck as they tried to figure out what was going on. Finally Tomcat lowered his binoculars and stalked to the side of his new first mate. Clarrina edged closer burning with curiosity.
“Looks like a mess Will. I could see the locals fighting with and against orcs, dwarves and drow. Break out the Balancer’s battle flags.”
“You sure cap? Might be risky, we have passengers that might prefer to see the blood banner of the orcs.”
Lieutenant Lake huffed in irritation. “Mother is the Balancer. We’re aligned with the dark ones whatever anyone thinks.” The big Jaguar ’folk scratched an ear, nodded to himself and headed off shouting for his marines to get ready.
Will looked up at the dolphin flag flying at the rear. “What about that cap?”
“Leave it. Raise the Balancer’s battle flags to the mastheads. Prepare the lasers and prepare to clear for action. Our allies look to need our help.” Tomcat stopped looking bewildered. Then he shrugged. “Let us do Mother’s bidding. She wishes this. As for the passengers...”
Will looked blank for a moment, then he shook himself and then he too started shouting orders.
= = O = =
Captain Greymane was cursing luridly. They were being forced back towards the waterfront by an unholy alliance of locals, dwarves and orcs. The remnants of the Emir’s guard were still fighting with them. More, he suspected, out of desperation than out of loyalty to the Emir.
Then two blinding bars of burning – destructive – light smashed into the command group of dwarves and rebel humans. Seconds later it happened again.
Greymane watched with grim pleasure as the filthy followers of Emir’s uncle fled. Without their presence the orcs fell on their hereditary enemies, the dwarves. He grinned as dwarves fought orcs. Then he laughed when the beams of light burned through the melee.
Greymane spared a glance out into the bay and saw a gaily-painted two masted ship flying two massive flags with the glyph of the Spider Queen in the hoist and a picture of Little Fish in the field. Then two more bars of that light lashed out but their target seemed to be somewhere near the palace.
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
= = O = =
Raalouf the bloodyhanded, Emir of Dramatine watched with satisfaction as his executioner removed his uncle’s head from his shoulders. It had been a close thing but the viper had been drawn into the open and he was now dead. And soon his family would join him.
Raalouf tossed a purse to his faithful executioner and left the somewhat dusty torture chamber under his palace. He headed for his throne room as his guards fell in around him. Now he had a more – troublesome. Yes a more troublesome problem on his hands. He owed his continued rule to the drow of all people. He also had to mollify the dwarves somehow. Their mines were important.
Raalouf looked out of the window and noted with grim satisfaction that the heads of his former junior wife, spymaster and first minister were already decorating the main gate.
Raalouf paused briefly in the guardroom behind his throne. He noted with approval that the archers were in place by the arrow slits. He turned his attention to the man he was considering for the position of spymaster. “Well what can you tell me?”
“My Emir, not much as yet. The drow told me that the brigantine Alessandrina’s Glory is under the command of Bishop Tomcat. One of the four bishops of their new goddess Little Fish, who is also known as Blackbeard’s Bane and Mother of Monsters. She is the new Balancer god of their people. Nobody has any idea as to what spell or weapon they were using. The brig is an auxiliary in the navy of Blue Lagoon, the new power based in the Great Ocean. Their marines came ashore and rounded up a family of petty traders. The ones they collected are now on board the ship. About half the passengers disembarked, some prematurely. We offered them hospitality.”
* * * EARTH – FROG * * *
Frog rode away from the Silvestre Boat Yard with Angel clinging to his shoulder her yellow hair streaming in the wind. In the back of his mind he could feel her joy in all the sights that they were passing.
Burgmansia or Angel as she liked to be called couldn’t believe this world. The machines were so much more prevalent than those on her former homeworld of Tarifax. She had been so sick there. They all had but now they were well thanks to these Earth dungeons. And she knew, she just knew she and Frog were going to help do something about it. Praise be to Mary Silvestre, Blue Lagoon and Mother of Monsters.
Now she had her Frog and he was sweet and kind and they were going ... Oh, that orchard was beautiful. This world was so green! A bit too orderly but it was beautiful. And they were going so fast! Why was that blue and white car with the flashing lights following them and why was her Frog stopping?
* * *
Frog parked his hog in front of the estate agent he had researched in Houma. He hoped this would work. He could feel Angel sleeping in the little house Mary had conjured up and that was currently disguised as one of his saddlebags. The other was now a bag of holding so he wasn’t short of storage.
He entered the air-conditioned bliss of the estate agent and looked round. A well-dressed middle-aged lady smiled at him and rose. She offered her hand and he shook it with a smile.
‘Yes, It is Doris Mayhew. I’m in luck, and I think this will work. Just have to seem apologetic but that will be easy.’
“Good afternoon sir, I’m Mrs Doris Mayhew, please call me Doris. How may I help you?”
Frog smiled and hesitated slightly. “Hi Doris. Pleased to meet you. Please call me Frog. My real name’s a right mouthful. Um, well this is a bit strange but I was hoping you would help me win a bet. I need to own a small parcel of land somewhere to the south of Houma. It needs to be at least a mile from any town and not in a village. It has to be at least large enough to park a mobile home and be accessed by either road or water. I don’t mind what it’s like as I have no intention of parking a mobile home on it or building a house on it.”
Frog shrugged and spread his hands. “I don’t want to spend too much for the place, that way I’ll hopefully make a profit thanks to the bet. Do you think you could help me?”
Doris rubbed her chin thoughtfully. This stout shaven headed biker amused her, or rather his bet related problem amused her. Maybe she could offload something or other to their mutual profit.
Doris gestured to the seat by her desk, “Please take a seat, um, Frog. I might be able to help you. Just let me see what I have on our books.”
* * *
A few days later Frog and Angel were looking a barren and partially submerged piece of land that had been contaminated by the dumping of waste courtesy of a now defunct and no longer extant company.
Frog strode to the centre of his parcel with Angel riding on his shoulder as had become her habit. Frog set the folding chair he had been carrying down and sat. Then he started claiming his land. Frog was feeling tired when he finished and he was covered in sweat. He realized that both he and Angel were feeling queasy. He focused on his domain, and just knew he had to get the poison out of his land.
He turned his head and met Angel’s bright green eyes. They agreed and merged. Then they struggled with the poisons. They realized that they knew what they needed to do for Mary had already solved much the same problem when she had fixed Angel and the other pixies.
Angel pricked her finger and let several drops of blood fall to the ground.
Frog woke in an earthen cave with Angel cradled in his lap. His core had grown massively. The Tiger Eye pulsed with light in time with his heartbeat.
« conditions met – for cleansing your domain you may claim nature based monsters – do you wish to have Dryads as your tertiary monster type – accept yes / no »
Frog’s brown eyes met Angel’s green ones. « YES » they said in unison.
* * * EARTH – MARY * * *
It was late when Mary walked up to the Meadows house. She wasn’t surprised when Art showed up behind her on the path, or that the front door opened before she got to it to reveal Tod.
“Good evening Mary, what can we do for you today?”
“Got something to show you. ’Nother headache for Simon or maybe not.”
“Anything to do with those ... ponies?”
Mary giggled, “Nah. Did you hear Annie squeal when she saw them?”
Tod just shook his head. "The surveillance tech is never going to forgive you for that. He was near deafened by his laser mike.”
“Well he shouldn’t have been listening in on a little girl’s birthday party. High pitched squeals are a given. May I come in?”
Tod stood back and headed for their lounge with a “follow me.”
Mary grinned and handed commander Meadows a sealed jar. While he was examining the handful of blueish miniature planks contained therein she produced a small model of an airship and demonstrated its ability to float. “Liftwood,” she explained.
“What! How!” exclaimed Meadows.
“I was trying for something else but ended up with this. Anti-gravity wood. Good eh, I’m callin’ it liftwood, think anyone will thank me for creating it? Sorry about the size but the trees will need a couple of years before they’re big enough to be really useful.”
Mary found herself the focus of the entire protective detail as they tried to grapple with the possibilities. “How much of this do you have?”
“’Bout fifty ... trees I guess, well seedlings or saplings. It will take ’bout two years ’fore they’re big enough to be useful and produce seeds. I sacrificed one of them for that. You’ll know better than me who needs to see ’em.”
* * *
The following day the ponies had made the news and Mary switched off her phone.