II.

“Zachary.”

Startled awake, I narrowly caught myself from falling out of the tree I was asleep in. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the morning light that shined through the park. With my legs wrapped around the branch, I half swung down, holding myself in the air upside down to come face to upside down face with the feminine voice that called me. Green eyes met my yellow ones as Bailey stared me down, her brows furrowing in displeasure, assumedly regarding my disappearance.

“So you guys finally found me.”

“Zachary, get down here.”

I groaned and rolled my eyes, detaching my legs from the branch and falling to the grassy floor underneath me with a decently loud thump. My shoulder collided with the ground far harder than I had anticipated so I embarrassedly scrambled to my feet, rubbing my shoulder and arm with one hand and brushing myself off with the other. She had her arms crossed as she peered down at me. The officer standing next to her cast the spell Message, calling off the search for me and relaying more information to who could be assumed as their higher up before walking off. Bailey stared me down, me trying to avoid her gaze, before losing her strict stature and pulling me into a tight hug. I tried to wiggle out of it, but her orcish muscle prevented me from escaping her embrace. My stomach grumbled, causing Bailey to let go of me as she pulled a granola bar out of her satchel, handing it to me while I begrudgingly accepted it.

“Let’s get you back home.”

“To the foster home?”

She shook her head and began walking to the exit of the park, expecting me to follow. To the orphanage then. Great. I kicked up some dirt before pulling my hoodie back up over my horns that were now growing larger, following her a few paces behind. Bailey was the owner of the orphanage, and the one who has mostly been my “guardian” for the past two years while I was in between my second and third foster homes. Which essentially means that I live in her orphanage and she asks me how I am every couple of weeks without getting too emotionally attached.

We walked for a while with the only sound being me shoving the entire granola bar in my mouth at once and crumpling up the wrapper to stow in my pocket. Luckily, the foster home I was in was in the same town as the orphanage, meaning we didn’t have to use a Teleportation Circle to return there, but we did have to walk a few miles from where I was found to get to the home. If I had wanted, I could’ve just returned to the orphanage myself, avoiding the four days of no bathing and minimal food. Thinking about it though, I didn’t want to go back there. A few memories of kids at the orphanage crossed my mind, making me almost shutter at the responses they’re going to have when they see me walk through those doors for a third time. Some of the kids are in the same third grade class that I’m in, but I hadn’t been going to school for the days I’ve been on the street. Maybe the school reported my absence rather than the mother of the foster home.

The buildings pass me by, feeling like they have a better place in the world than I do. The sonderance of people walking through them, day by day, completing their work, having a drink with coworkers, returning to their happy families. The idea leaves me empty. I look down at the ground as I walk behind Bailey, not wanting to think about the difference in daily lifestyles between the whole rest of the world and I.

After a few hours of walking, the orphanage came into my sight and I huffed, shoving my hands into my hoodie pocket and watching my feet as I walked up the steps to the door. Returning to the orphanage felt melancholy at best, there was an odd aura of disappointed acceptance in seeing the house and rooms within it. Bailey turned to me.

“We already got your bag and delivered it to your old room.”

I shoved past her as she pushed the doors open for me, trying to get up the stairs to my old bedroom without meeting the eyes of anyone around me. I heard whispers surrounding me, my name being prevalent in every one of them as I rushed past the kids in the hallways. I arrived at the stairs, putting my hand on the banister and beginning to take my first step up when I felt a tug at the back of my hoodie, pulling it down off my head and holding me back, causing me to stumble backwards a bit and preventing me from going up the stairs.

“Hey!” He shouted in my ear, still holding the hood of my jacket and keeping me there. I winced at his loud voice, knowing exactly who it was.

“Hi, Fenren…” I grumbled out, attempting to grab onto the banister again to try and pull myself away from him. He yanked on the cloth he had in his hands again, making me lose my grip.

“Guys! Come look, the little disaster is back again!” the Half-Elf boy announced to everyone within earshot. I felt my face heat up with embarrassment, I knew Fenren was going to comment on my reappearance. I reached out for the banister again, only to result in him pulling me back again, this time letting go of the hoodie and spinning me around to face him. I gasped and held my breath as he looked down at me, grabbing the front of my jacket to pull my face close to his, my eyes being forced to look at his, “I guess no one wants you still, huh?” He laughed, a few people joining him, before shoving me down onto the steps of the stairs. I huffed, pulling my hoodie back up over my horns and shuffling up the stairs.

I pulled on my hoodie strings, tightening it around my face as I kept my eyes on the floorboards on my way to the bedroom. My heart was beating and my body was burning with emotions. Fenren was much bigger than me, considering I was rather short for my age, scrawny too. The proper amount of food wasn’t always an option for me, so I had decided that I would never eat until I was full, unless I earned it all by myself, to ensure that when I went back to the streets I wouldn’t feel as hungry. Regardless, Fenren specifically would comment on my size and strength, knowing that he would beat me in endurance and strength. I never really tried to stand up to him, letting him get in his comments and shoves for the day and then running away was always the better option to getting beat up or having him ruin something important to me. Even knowing this, I feel my body fuel with a burning hot feeling any time he appears, making me feel overwhelmed with desire to let out my emotions in any possible way. Usually, he gets his fill before I explode, allowing me to get away and take out my anger by breaking something later on.

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The door to my room came upon me, and I reached out to the door handle, pausing as I heard a chorus of laughter come from inside. My three roommates got along very well. All four of us were in the same third grade class, but those three were a perfect trio. I pushed open the door, seeing the three of them roughhousing and laughing on the floor. Almost immediately, they noticed me and went quiet. I slammed the door shut, expressing my anger regarding Fenren in the only way I knew how. The three boys awkwardly stood up and whispered to one another as I did my best to ignore them. I went straight to my bed, which had one bag on top of the blankets, and immediately started unpacking and organizing my things into the end table next to my bed.

“He’s back again?”

“Wait, isn’t this the third time?”

“It’s only been a week since he left!”

A teardrop fell from my face to a pair of jeans I had folded and I quickly wiped my face with my sleeve, not realizing that I was crying. I continued to routinely wipe my face of silent tears as I put away the rest of my things, finding my sketchbook at some point and putting it under my pillow. I hopped up on my bed, laying on my stomach and shoving my face into my pillow to soak up the last of my tears. I kicked my legs up and down on the bed and screamed into the pillow before collapsing my body into the bed. I laid there for a long while, listening to my roommates conversations and probably falling in and out of sleep

“Zach, um..” one of the boys, Eldryr, spoke as he approached my bed, “we’re going to get dinner if you want to.. Um… join us?” He spoke with a soft elvish accent, being an Elf who developed his parent’s accents before their passing only a few years ago. I was still laying on my stomach and I felt too exhausted and weak to get up or to even look at him. Eldryr let out a sigh, and I heard his footsteps and the other two leave the room, closing the door behind them.

I sat up after a few minutes, feeling empty. The realization that I hadn’t eaten all day except for that morning granola bar suddenly settled in and my stomach growled again as thoughts of dinner crossed my mind. I let out a long sigh, jumping off the bed and walking to the door and down the hallway. I slid down the staircase banister, almost falling off at the end as I lost my balance but catching myself right before hitting the floor. The dining room sounded loud in comparison to the past few nights in the park and I slowly entered the room. No one seemed to notice me come in so I sighed in relief before rushing over to the food table and making a plate for myself.

The dining room was full of about forty kids, all in elementary school or younger. Some of the older kids volunteer to help with the babies, so there were quite a few kids holding babies and feeding them a formulated bottle of milk. Each table had its own group, kids who were friends with one another and had the same interests or whatnot. Most of these kids went to the same school as me, yet I still didn’t know much about anyone. Others have never really gotten along with me.

I finished up my plate and turned around, ready to go back to my room to eat in a quieter place than this. I took a quick step back as Fenren stood in front of me, seemingly having appeared out of nowhere. He leaned in close, forcing me to make intimidating eye contact with him again.

“Hey everyone!” he shouted in my face, the dining hall getting quieter with his booming voice to see what was going on, “Zach Attack is back! AGAIN!” He smiled at me maliciously, grabbing the plate from my hands and turning around towards the rest of the people sitting down, “Make sure you give him a warm welcome.” As he spoke those words, he held my plate above my head, dumping all the contents of it onto me and the floor. The room erupted with laughter, excluding my three roommates and a few others, who clearly had intense pity for me written all over their faces.

I stood there in shock, processing what had just happened. I felt my blood boil. My vision turned red and wet. Laughter echoed through my head and my stomach grumbled again. I could hardly make out the figure in front of me anymore. I couldn’t breathe. I turned towards the exit, walking there with my whole body tense and my fists clenched. With my blurry vision, I ran into a table, causing me to scream and slam my clenched fist down onto it. A cracking sound echoed past my ears and a shockwave of pain rippled through my hand. I grabbed my hand in pain and ran out of the dining hall, hardly making my way up the stairs without stumbling. More hot tears streamed down my face as I ran to my room. I quickly grabbed a set of clothes with my good hand and rushed to the bathroom.

I slammed the door shut behind me and felt myself melt down the door, sliding down into a sitting position where I tucked my legs in close to my chest and sobbed into them. I felt myself hyperventilating as my chest tightened more and more and my head pounded. My stomach felt so tight from sobs and inability to breathe that I had to rush to the toilet to vomit. Having not really eaten, it was more of just dry heaving though. I sat down next to the toilet, trying to catch my breath, trying to calm myself down.

After a few minutes of deep breathing, I finally gained the strength to stand and look at myself in the mirror. A mess stared back at me. A young boy, covered in food and soiled clothes, eyes puffy, hair a mess, and face red as it could be on a blue skin tone. I looked away from the mirror, not wanting to see myself in this state, and went to run a bath. Once the tub was filled, I turned off the lights in the bathroom, still being able to see due to my Tiefling inheritance of darkvision, and got into the warm water. I breathed and washed all the food from my hair and body, feeling a bit more at peace being alone in a warm place where no one could interrupt me.

I dried myself off and turned the lights back on to take a look at my shoulder in the mirror. After falling out of the tree and landing on it, my shoulder felt a little sore, but there was no bruising or anything, which means the fall wasn’t too bad. I shifted my gaze to my hand; it was red and a little swollen. Touching it, a shock of pain bolted through it and I winced in pain.

Sitting on my bed, I pulled out my sketchbook and began drawing the three that I had slept in the days prior, trying to replicate the texture of the bark that the bugs who lived in the tree left imprinted on it. Lucky for me, the hand that was hurt was my left one, so I could still draw and write without having to worry about any extra pain. The three boys still weren’t back yet from dinner, so I had the room to myself before I heard a knock on the door. I glanced up as the door opened. Eldryr popped his head in and looked over at me. We stared at one another for a moment, me knowing I looked horrible, before he walked over to me silently, a plate in his hand. He set it on my end table, still not saying anything, before turning around and walking out of the room.

I watched him walk through the door and close it, presumably going to continue hanging out with the other two until bedtime. After the door clicked closed, I shot my eyes over at the plate of food. Shoving my sketchbook aside, I grabbed the plate, sitting up to inhale the food he brought me. It felt good to finally be able to eat a full meal, not just a granola bar or chips.

After finishing, I set the plate back on the end table, my exhaustion settling in. My eyes felt droopy from crying and I decided to put my sketchbook back under my pillow. I can always draw again later. I pulled the covers over me, not worrying about turning off the lights, and covered my head with the blankets, making it nice and dark for me to sleep under before falling into a proper deep sleep.

It’s nice to sleep with blankets again. The tree, although pretty, wasn’t one for comfortability. I felt numb, yet my shoulder and hand still ached with pain. At least my stomach wasn’t a place of pain anymore now that I had eaten the food that Eldryr brought to me. My mind still feels dizzy though.