Eleanor: Opening her shell just a little bit

It was three days after Eleanor became queen, and right now, Lena had managed to drag Eleanor into her bedroom, the one she shared with the two orphans.

I knew it; she is trying to get me to look after the kids.

I'm queen, you know? I've got lots of other essential things to do.

But I suppose it's part of our friendship.

Mason and Becky were in their beds, still just mattresses on the floor. They were lying face down, with their shoulders exposed above the blankets. Lena was kneeling to the side of Mason with her hands on his shoulders.

"My poor little orphans are so stressed out, I have found it is best to give them a bit of a massage before bed. And, since they are now your subjects, and you have made a public vow to make their welfare your number one priority, I figure you will be happy to help. Don't you think so, Becky?"

Becky timidly turned her head and looked at Eleanor.

Lena, this is blackmail. I can't possibly refuse; otherwise, I risk hurting Becky's feelings.

So Eleanor smiled at Becky, put her hands onto her shoulders, and tried copying Lena's motions.

She could feel, somewhere in the back of her mind, faint wisps of pain; after all, she could have done the same to her own child. Had he survived.

[Emotional Control] is on full; there is no need to worry. No need at all.

Also, she wasn't sure she was all that good at this. Becky's shoulders felt stiff and unrelaxed.

Damn, Lena's better than me. Mason looks as if he is ready to drop off to sleep already.

Eventually, Lean took pity on Eleanor (and Becky) and massaged Becky's shoulders. After a while, when both kids were sleeping, they moved out of the bedroom and stood outside. Eleanor said:

"You are so much better than me at that."

"Practice, I've had plenty of practice, my dear queen."

"Is that so? An admirable skill, I am sure," said Eleanor.

"I think so, too. And, you know, I think you could also do with a shoulder massage. It would be best to try relaxing that rigid [Emotional Control] mask you always wear. Just a little bit. It will do you good."

I don't want to relax my [Emotional Control]! It's too dangerous!

Eleanor tried a little bit of her newly acquired [Intimidation] skill in a moment of irritation and anger.

It worked. Lena cringed and moved back a bit.

Oh, wait, maybe I went a bit too far...

But then, Lena stopped acting distressed. She smiled sweetly and said:

"Nice try, young lady. But, I'll have you know, the Voice had just awarded me the ability to ignore all [Initmidation] abilities. So, shall we continue with my original suggestion?"

Eleanor returned Lena's smile with a steady gaze. There was a muffled clatter in the brief silence as the Misfits moved off to their own bedrooms. Eleanor's and Lena's rooms were in a separate, short passage away from the others, so there was no risk of anyone else seeing them.

This friendship-for-life thing is proving to be a bit of a bother.

"Let's, ahh, sit in my room and talk about this, shall we?" said Eleanor.

They sat facing each other in two straight-backed chairs. Eleanor's bedroom was not the royal one the old king used: it was an extra large room with a monstrosity of a four-poster canopy bed, a separate room for a walk-in wardrobe, and its own ensuite. (Yes, they had plumbing and internal bathrooms/toilets in Manifestoria. Although hot water had to be heated separately.) Eleanor had no positive feelings for that room; in her mind, it was indelibly associated with her father. Even Kalitran had not used it. He had chosen the sensible option of a bedroom and ensuite close to the royal office.

Instead, Eleanor had deliberately picked two ordinary bedrooms in their own private passage - when she had been a girl, the head maid and the governess used them.

"I guess I should fill in some more detail about what happened back then," said Eleanor.

"It's high time."

This is painful, even with [Emotional Control].

"The old king, my father, always was an arrogant, macho fool. He thought he was real tough, a real man, able to withstand anything. Like for example, doing an Ashrend ritual. Course, he wasn't. The ritual sucks out the poor slave's life force or something and boosts all of the stats of the recipient. So he becomes stronger and faster. It also slowly, bit by bit, destroys the slave's mind. And, since the recipient remains linked to the slave, it also slowly rends his mind - tears it into pieces. But only gradually. One's intelligence and morality are frayed, one's humanity is coarsened, one's emotions become blunted and downright distorted."

Just words; they don't describe the utter terror and horror; how do I convey that - wait, do I want to convey that? It means I will have to remember how it feels - I don't want to drop my [Emotional Control] even just a little.

Shit, what should I do...

At this point, Lena raised her eyebrows slightly, then reached out and took Eleanor's hand with hers.

"Even with that annoyingly perfectly blank expression, I can still tell you are suffering something awful." said Lena, "I mean, you do know that you can never accept and move past your grief if you never release that control, right?"

"Ahh, I know the disadvantage of having 100% [Emotional Control]. Although I've never had anyone before to remind me of that."

Damn it, Lena!

"OK, I'll release it, but only by a minimal amount... You had better take full responsibility!"

Ugh. No wonder I never tried this before.

She could feel her brow creasing up in pain. Her hands clenched, and she could feel Lena's hands that were holding her hand tense up to avoid being squeezed too much.

"The old king was already crazy from doing the Ashrend on Tanya. On Aragon's friend. After that, I'm sure Aragon hated the king with virulent intensity; it must have been part of why he kept running away."

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Running away. That was Aragon's way. My way was to keep on screaming as my child was taken away.

Lena, can I stop this now?

But Lena was still holding onto her hand. She was still watching her.

OK, OK.

"Did I tell you that the Ashrend requires a slave and an extra slave collar? If you put the second collar onto the slave, you will get a new Voice allocated skill.

The ability tells you how to go about initiating the ritual. Apparently. The records are sketchy on this part since not many Ashrends are done, and those who do them don’t discuss it much. Also, it should be mentioned that the second collar does not remain on if the ritual is not initiated. It just falls off. Unfortunately, the first collar doesn't."

"That sounds very convenient for an evil person and a bit contrived," said Lena.

"Yeah, ain't it. It's all due to how it was designed. So, where was I? You put on the extra collar, and the Voice asks if you want to proceed. You say yes, then exert your new skill, and the ritual makes you miraculously stronger! Also, you become crazy! Or at least crazier. Bit by bit."

Now I have tears running down my face. What do I do about that?

Fortunately, Lena was onto it. She moved her chair next to Eleanor's and put her hand around Eleanor's shoulders.

They stayed like this for a while. Eleanor was not quite crying, and Lena was not quite giving her a full hug.

Lena:

After a while:

Well, I got the stiff queen sort of crying. But what the hell was the king using the Ashrend for? And how did her baby, not to mention her husband, get caught up in all of this?

Hello, she's calming down.

"I think I'll control myself now," said Eleanor, in a much firmer voice.

"I guess we can only do this one step at a time," said Lena.

"Indeed. I'm greatly indebted to your help in this matter."

But, Eleanor, you have one hell of a long way to go. Just as well this friendship is for life.

But Lena decided not to talk about that for the time being. Instead-

"Now that you have returned to normal, how about explaining what did happen? And why?" said Lena.

Eleanor slumped a bit in her chair. But she made no moves to remove Lena's arm across her back.

"Yes. Right."

She took a breath.

"Back then, a small contingent of slavers, for some reason, ended up trying to invade Manifestoria. There was a skirmish with the guards at the wall; then they marched onto the town. The old king got the message half a day before they arrived and panicked. The sensible thing would have been to call up every guard on hand and everybody capable of wielding a weapon, or even just a pitchfork, and fighting them. Instead, the stupid git brought out a slave collar - no one even knew he had one, not to mention the fact that it is completely illegal, and then grabbed Tanya off the street."

Eleanor paused here, so Lena encouraged her a little.

"And did he fight off the slavers?"

"Yeah, he did. That Ashrend ritual really does overpower the recipient. That is, he fought off most of the slavers. The guards also helped, of course. Unfortunately, some of the higher-ranking slavers escaped. They managed to ambush a small contingent of guards and collar those who survived. Then, instead of doing the sensible thing and retreating, they must have decided they had a chance of capturing all of Manifestoria."

Eleanor slowed down at this point.

"Well? You still haven't said the important bit," said Lena.

"Yeah, right. Let's skip over all the strategy and tactics, shall we? My father panicked again. Only, this time, he was already half insane from the first ritual. He had kept the original slave collar and Tanya's. So, well, he just grabbed the first person he saw, which happened to be my husband. And, well, ah, there was a fight, and my husband ended up dead. And, with the slavers at the door, the king grabbed the next closest person.

You know, my toddler. He just turned three years old. He puts both collars onto him! Of all the stupid, evil things he could do, he uses my child! I don't even know how that worked! After all, a toddler has no system-enhanced abilities for the Ashrend ritual to steal."

She looks completely weird. She is telling me this utterly horrible story with an almost calm and blank face.

She has got a loooong way to go to deal with that grief.

"So, that was how it happened. He killed off the remaining slavers but became deranged himself. Fortunately, the remaining guards managed to get themselves together, collect all of the slave collars and destroy them. They also managed to look after me - they found the governess, and she dragged me away. From that day, I have never entered the castle again until now, and, of course, I have never met my father.

I suppose it was reasonably fortunate that my father recovered some of his sanity and kind of managed to rule the country without too many disasters. Although, shortly afterwards, the royal class deserted the place en mass.

Is that enough for tonight?"

"Yeah, that's enough about your sufferings for now. Let's talk more about this tomorrow, OK?" said Lena.

"Although I do have a technical question about this horrible Ashrend thing - I take it that the one doing the ritual gets a Yes/No question from the Voice on whether or not to proceed - but the slave doesn't?"

"Nope, the slave doesn't. That would make it all too easy to avoid, wouldn't it?" said Eleanor.

"Yeah, I guess so. Just like slaves themselves never get the option of refusing a slave collar when it is first forced upon them," said Lena.

"No, they don't. And since the slave system has already been created, even if the first Emperor got an initial confirmation question, it makes no difference now."

"The first Emperor? How on the Ringworld did the slave system start?"

"Well, this is all restricted information, but I don't care who knows about it now. Some damned in-perpetuity hero apparently went totally insane and created the slave system. And, presumably, some other hero created the Ashrend ritual."

"Oh, right. But I still don’t understand why should these damned in-perpetuity heroes add such a thing as a confirmation question?"

"Nobody knows. Maybe the Voice added it. Maybe it's all that the Voice could do to mitigate a horrible situation?" said Eleanor.

"Oh bloody hell, why on the Ringworld did the Voice give such powerful abilities to make such broken abilities to anyone?"

"I guess the Voice thought it would work out? After all, the Order Lock Expiry effect was not in the original slaver system design; a hero added it."

Lena was surprised: "It never occurred to me to wonder why the Order Lock Expiry thing existed."

Eleanor slumped into her chair, still partially supported by Lena’s embrace.

This is all so horrible and stressful.

"What about now I give you a shoulder massage? Let's get away from any depressing topics," said Lena.

"I'm not sure it will do me any good, but I suppose so," said Eleanor.

At this point, both ladies stopped in embarrassment.

"Ah, what about I wait outside until you have changed into your sleeping gear, and you get into bed, then call me?" said Lena.

Lena sat in a chair next to Eleanor's bed, gently rubbing Eleanor's shoulders.

She is stiff as a board, even with her control on. This is one screwed-up lady, and I can't even blame her.

After a while, Lena softly got up, moved the chair back to its place, and silently left the room, closing the door behind her.

Half an hour later, cuddled up in her bed, listening to the soft breathing of the two orphans, she went over the evening.

It's going to take ages for Eleanor to deal with her grief.

I'll have to do my best.

Also, I guess we really are in a long-term friendship. I might as well accept it.

Eleanor: The following day

There she is. At last.

Eleanor had been waiting just inside the opened door of her room for Lena to come out.

"Hi, Lena"

She did not attempt to disguise the fact that she had been deliberately waiting. Lena greeted her back.

"You know, I've been thinking - when we first met, I was just slightly dismissive of you..." said Eleanor.

"I know, but then maybe I was the same towards you?"

"But, things move on. Looks like you are going to be my new best friend forever. Until one of us dies. Also, I've already told you, haven't I? My husband was my first best friend forever. He really was. So, of course, I thought we would make a wonderful couple."

Eleanor sighed heavily.

"However, that didn't work out. We should have just stayed platonic friends without all the complications that the physical relationship stuff caused. Since, obviously, I'm just not capable of that. So, it's a great relief not to worry about anything like that with you."

Lena laughed. "That's for sure; we won't have to worry about such things. After all, if we want some drama about fumbling relationships, we can always watch Aragon and Esther."

Eleanor giggled. "Or, go the other way and watch the sex-crazed Misfits."

"Course, we're still going to be working on your little problem with grief," said Lena.

"I knew that was coming. And, I suppose you want me to come in with you and wake up your orphans?"

"You bet. It will do you good," said Lena.

"OK. Just remember, you'll still be responsible for all of this!"

"I won't forget."

Smiling at each other, they turned and went into Lena's room to wake up the kids.

If this is to be part of my life, then so be it. I'll have to accept it.

The Misfits:

"Hey, check this out: our locked points have gone down again!"

"Maybe System-san granted someone another special skill?" said Cassy.

Sadly, System-san couldn't be bothered explaining.