After a fairly awkward and silent twenty-minute walk to the barista’s apartment, we started to look around the living space.

After a while, Brogan and I reconvened to discuss our findings.

“I’m not seeing any evidence of ghosts. Looks like this is a bust.” Brogan told me.

“You wouldn’t as this is not a ghost.” I responded.

Brogan then asked, “Then what is it wise guy?”

“I do not know, but it’s definitely something dangerous though.”

“Ohhhh, so mysterious. So where is this creature that I found no evidence of by the way?” Brogan inquired with a skeptical tone.

“I do not know.”

With an eyeroll, “So how do you even know it exists?”

“I can read the pasts of places and because of that I know Amelia had a pair of blue and white striped panties up until they vanished. I mean that literally the panties had a history in this place until a certain moment three nights ago when they just stopped existing. Due to a unique sense of mine I can see energies in my surroundings. If I did not know for sure that those panties existed and that someone must have done something to them, I would swear only Amelia has been in this apartment in at least a week.” I explained.

“You have psychometry? Where’d you pick that up?” Brogan asked with a surprised expression on her face.

I looked at her deadpan and responded, “I think you can guess.”

“Oh right, Cole. You got the one that got him, right?” Brogan questioned.

“Yes. Now let’s get back on topic. Something or someone is invisible to my senses and is stalking a young woman. What’s our plan?” I asked my temporary ally before continuing, “keep in mind we might have company right now.”

Brogan answered, “I have an idea or two.”

***

I couldn’t stop watching the clock waiting for the workday to end. Luckily, I was in the final hour of the workday that always seemed to go faster. Just another hour of dealing with the luddites that came to the store with their computers and problems that even the simplest of children could solve. Another hour and I can finally be back with my beloved.

I always loved the simple nights we spent together in companionable silence just watching TV together. I so hated those stupid shows she watched about the carcrashians or something, but being able to witness her beauty was worth it. The gifts she left lying around for me were also a plus, especially the panties. Her beauty and generosity made up for her utter lack of anything approaching intelligence. What I would give for a partner with a higher IQ.

Her stupidity was so great that she did not even notice how great a guy I was at first. I was certainly smarter than all those musclebound simpletons she usually spent time with. I thank God every day for bestowing upon me the power I so rightly deserved for all my suffering. All those wedgies, swirlies, insults, and shoves into lockers from my lessers.

One day I woke up and realized that I could go unnoticed no matter what I did, not the power I truly deserve. That would have been mind control, so I could show my lesser their place and the girl that belonged to me that she indeed did. However, I still used my new abilities to get back at those who wronged me.

My steroid infused brute of a neighbor got tacks put in his shoes and hot sauce in his shampoo every once in a while. I may have also used a pipe on him while he was sleeping a time or two. It was so easy to follow him past those new locks of his that were put up after the first couple of times. The injuries meant he could no longer do his work on the docks. This led to him and his snot-nosed brat being on the streets. That would have been the greatest moment, if not for the time I heard the rugrat use his father’s shampoo. That screech was the pinnacle of my achievements to date.

The b*tch with a painted face that lived next door got a boat load of candid shots I took of her released on the internet. She got fired from her job teaching kindergarteners. Which led to her not having the funds to see her dying mother in another state before the old hag kicked it. That will teach her to ignore her betters when they deign to be nice to her. Those kids and their parents also owe me thanks as well due to the fact she would no longer be passing on her rudeness and idiocy to the next generation.

My menopausal boss that took all her aggression out on me was next. After years of her complaining when I did not lower myself to her or insulted the idiots that came into the shop. She always went on about how the only reason I still had a job was because she was friends with my mother, as if other employers could not see my greatness if I ever deign myself to their level to apply for a job. I got her back for all the abuse by stealing a baggie of cocaine from some local ne’er-do-wells and putting it in her pocket. She tried to explain that it was not hers, but how can you explain how a large baggie of cocaine was in your pocket without your knowledge. She now has ten years to think about what she has done to me.

Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

My crowning achievement was acquiring a grade A piece of a*s called Amelia. She was truly mesmerizing with her scarlet hair and alabaster skin. Her freckles were a demerit, but I am nice enough to overlook her deformities. I now spend most nights with her. I have been getting a little annoyed with her glances around and screeches at some nonsense ghost. Even more so at the fact that I have to hide just to spend time with my girlfriend. I have decided that tonight that will come to an end. I will finally claim my prize tonight.

I saw her walking home from work with that ugly ponytail that she kept up at work. She entered her door and closed it behind her. Rude. I grabbed the handle to follow her. The last thing I felt before waking up was fire traveling up my arm.

I woke up in a wooden chair with wooden tendrils wrapped around myself. I took in my surroundings and saw my girlfriend standing with two other people.

The first was some steroid scarfing mother trucker wearing a douchey half buttoned dress shirt.

The second was a really fine lady with some serious badonkadonks barely contained in her shirt. I would hit her up if I was not already in a committed relationship.

All three were looking at me with disgust. HOW DARE THEY!!!!!! It’s my pig of a mother that is at fault for my weight and acne. It was just not worth exercising or eating right when my mother already condemned me to life as an ugly person. People should overlook my appearance and see the greatness contained within.

I reached for my power as I did not fancy fighting the Beanpole looking at me with disgust. When I tried, my world turned to agony and I screamed.

The Beanpole proceeded to chuckle before telling me, “That is my bad there Jimbo. I extracted your ability and fed it to my mask as you seemed undeserving of it due to your actions. I was not too careful with the first due to the same reason.”

“WHAT??!! HOW COULD YOU?!?! THAT WAS DIVINE RIGHT TO RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!” I bellowed in my reedy voice. My mother’s fault again.

“Yeah, I’m done talking to you.” The Beanpole said before starting to talk to the b*tch with big knockers “Brogan, I must commend you on the electric doorknob idea, it was a stroke of genius.”

The busty b*tch responded with fake sincerity, “Please, it would have been nothing without your masterful illusion idea and execution. How else could we get the idiot to touch the knob. Also, I took it from an old movie, so let’s not applaud my genius too much.”

“ELECTIC DOORKNOB!!!!!!!!!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I screeched at these monsters.

“That was an acceptable outcome.” The Beanpole stated monotonously before continuing “Brogan I’m thinking we go code B on him.”

“I was thinking the same.” The big-t*tted witch responded.

“What’s code B.” I asked confidently, read shaking in his proverbial boots.

“You see the organization my lovely assistant” ”I’m no one’s assistant” “works for has a lot of unresolved cases that involves a perpetrator that cannot be tried in public court for some reason or another. This means sometimes they have a perpetrator and no case. While other times they have a case and no perpetrator. Someone from her organization had a light bulb moment and started matching cases with people creating code Bs.” The Beanpole sneered enjoying my suffering, read tiredly stated.

“I would kill you, but this seems more satisfying.” The Beanpole tacked on.

“Amelia how can you let them do this” I pleaded to my girlfriend.

“WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!” my beloved girlfriend shouted, betraying our love in the process.

I roared, read sniveled out, “what do you mean?”

“Why would you do this to a complete stranger?” she asked, seeking some answer to the universe about how guys like him could exist.

“We connected when I helped you with your laptop at that McRonald’s.” I explained.

“My laptop? I don’t have a laptop.” *Uproarious Laughter* “You dumb mother*cker. You can’t even remember faces. I can also tell you without a doubt that whatever connection you thought you had with this girl was inside your demented mind and does not exist.” She cackled breaking my heart.

“But…” I started before the wooden bound creeped up and gagged me.

“I’m done hearing your voice. Brogan, how about you drop him off at the police station and fill out the paperwork. I will take my leave after so nicely gift wrapping your going away present.” The Beanpole said before walking away.

“Wait! I can transfer to this city, and we can work together. You get help and the ability to leave this city on templar jobs. I get to watch over both you and this city. How’s that sound?” the black-haired b*tch called out to the stupid Beanpole.

“I don’t like paperwork and could always use someone watching my back. See you tomorrow at 9am for your first day.” The Beanpole responded over his shoulder while walking away.

“Alright let’s get you behind bars. Also, Amelia lovely to meet you and good luck in your endeavors. Also tell anyone any part of this and you’re dead, that goes for you too pervert.” The suited woman said before dragging me off into the night.

Current Equipment:

Head:

[The Black Wasp Jackal’s Face]

Earrings:

[]

Necklace:

[The Energy Baron’s Stomach]

Clothes:

[]

Rings:

[The Mentalism Ring]

[Succubus’ Kiss]

[Mena’s Book]

Bracelets:

[]

Shoes:

[]

Armaments:

[Sense Cane]

[Holy Straight Razor]

Storage:

[Various Essences]

[Chi Organ]

[Spirit Shards]

[Various Murder Weapons]

[Green Thumb]

[Glass Eye]

[Kraken Components]