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The Misadventures of a Story Lover (A dark comedy)
Book 1, Part 1, Interlude 5: How not to quit a job

Book 1, Part 1, Interlude 5: How not to quit a job

Ignes smiled at the guard who gave him a nod and spoke “Hello Mr. Harrow. They asked you to come in late again I see.”

Ignes nodded, adopting a light tone “You know how it is. Those mages are constantly everywhere. You take down one and two more sprout up. There is no rest for guys like you or me.”

The guard gave a grunt “Ain’t that the truth. You take care now will you”

Ignes smiled as he walked past the guard and into the hall of the inquisition. It was only a branch of the main inquisition set up in the port city Torras but it would have what he needed so he felt no need to travel to the capital.

He walked through the halls, politely nodding and smiling at the people he passed before finally making his way to his office where another man sat there already. He quickly got up when Ignes walked in. “Oh good Harrow. Glad you are here. I uh.. I have what you asked.”

If this had been an operation that he didn’t want word of getting out, he would have had the man flogged for saying something like that to him with the door still open. He adopted a calm attitude and kept a pleasant smile on his face as he shut the door and walked to the other side of the desk and sat down.

“Lets see them then”

The man bent down and with a heavy grunt pulled the bag up and placed it down on his desk with a loud thud. “This is all I could procure without raising suspicion.” His voice then dropped low as he leaned forward.

“Is it true? Have the mages actually infiltrated the inquisition and tampered with the anti-magic metal?”

“That is what I intend to find out.” Ignes replied as he opened the bag to see several ingots of the precious anti magic metal. It had taken him several years to get to this position with a huge risk to his personal being, all for this moment.

He closed the bag and looked at the man. “Remember. Do not leak this to anyone. If the mages learn that I might suspect them then they will surely retaliate. I am putting my faith in you.”

The man nodded “not to worry my lips are sealed!”

Ignes smiled “I am sure. Now leave. I don’t want people to start wondering what you are here for and why. Their could be spies in this building at this very moment for all we know”

The man quickly got up and scurried off. It had been hard trying to find a person who was horrible at keeping secrets, was bribable, had the connections to give him what he wanted and had a strong sense of patriotism for his kingdom but once he found him it was just a matter of time.

He had the metal now and began to take out several documents. He had been an exceptional inquisitor for the empire with a huge success rate for catching mages and getting information on mage sympathizers for the past few years, even being promoted because of it on more than one occasion.

Thanks to this he had built up a pretty good reputation for himself. Plus he had also inundated himself with several minor nobles giving him some fair sway and influence over the common folk as a man of inspiration given his character's commoner background.

Placing all the documents on the desk in the order he wanted, he then took out a simple sheet of paper and wrote a somewhat encrypted message and circled it. A red herring of course. To help keep them off his trail and hopefully never find it.

Once he finished everything he took a deep breath as he picked up the bag of ingots and adopted a frantic expression as he swung open the door and moved quickly and with purpose but with a hint of anxiety.

As he walked past his secretary he quickly announced “I need to check something! Cancel anything I have later today and take any messages that are needed! I will be back tomorrow!” And quickly moved past her without letting her get a word in.

He made his way through the inquisition hall without acknowledging anybody. He was known for being calm and collected so people seeing him rushing through the hall was going to turn some heads.

He quickly walked past the guard he had greeted when he entered without acknowledging him and called for a carriage, climbing in and giving them the coordinates for his home and paid extra for him to hurry.

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It didn’t take terribly long for him to arrive at his destination. It was a fairly nice house in a fairly nice neighborhood in a fairly nice part of the city. It was picture perfect and a perfect place for someone in his position to live keeping with the empire's ideal man.

He left the carriage and entered the house, shutting the door behind him before readopting his usual calm demeanor “I’m home early!”

“Dad!” His step son came running down the stairs happily and jumped to give him a hug which he easily caught “Why are you back early?”

“Actually finished early for once. I think people are finally beginning to learn that to sympathize with a mage makes you just as bad as a mage. Less work for me right?”

His step son let out a laugh “The only good mage is a dead mage!” He said repeating some the empires propaganda

“Does that mean you will be coming home earlier now”

“More than likely. Is your mom home?”

“Yeah! She is upstairs! She will be happy to see you back!”

“I am sure. Come on. Let's go say hi together” Still carrying him he went upstairs and opened his bedroom door to see his wife sitting in the corner of the room knitting a piece of clothes. When she saw him her eyes lit up with delight.

“Oh! I knew I heard the door but wasn’t expecting you to come back so early” She got up and walked over giving him a small kiss on the cheek causing his Step Son to let out a noise of disgust.

“Did work go well for you sweetie?”

“It did” He let out a grunt as he took the bag carrying the ingots off his shoulder and handed them over to his wife “Would you please put this on the bed for me”

“Certainly” She took the bag with a sudden exertion of effort “My god. What do you have here?”

“A surprise. No peeking.” He said teasingly, causing her to roll her eyes and turn around to bring it over to the bed.

The moment her back was turned he took out a dagger he kept hidden on his person and plunged it into his step sons neck. Grasping his mouth to keep him from letting out even the slightest bit of sound. His body barely thrashed before falling limp.

He quickly dropped the body and moved to his wife, plunging the blade up into the back of the skull and into the brain. Killing her before she even hit the floor with a thud.

He let out a small sigh as he cleaned the blade. Killing them brought no pleasure or happiness but their deaths were needed if he was going to fake his kidnapping and death at the hand of mages and mage sympathizers.

If he thought he could have gotten into the position he had as an inquisitor without involving anybody else he would have but that was not to be. The empire had expectations for its productive members of society. Having a family was one of them.

He found a relatively wealthy widow with a child and quickly seduced her. This was always their fate to be. He had no regrets with what he did. But that didn’t mean he wanted to do it.

Closing their eyes respectfully as one final honor he moved to the mirror that was within the bathroom and began undoing the makeup, hair dye and prosthetics he had on his face that changed his appearance.

The inquisition was always checking for magically changed appearances but never bothered to check if there were anybody who might change their appearance the harder way.

In fairness though, the kingdom never bothered with either of those. He would have to make sure that was changed when he got back.

Once he was back to his usual appearance he started to go through the house making a mess, showing very clear signs of struggle all while letting out faint wisps of mana everywhere that any inquisitor would be able to pick up.

That done he went back to the bedroom and shutting the door he summoned a concussive blast of kinetic magic and hurled it to the door blasting it open. Before doing the same twice more and hurled it towards the bodies smashing them in. That should have been enough to hide the knife wounds but just to be safe.

He summoned up some fire magic and began to torch various areas of both the top floor and the bottom. When he was certain the rest of the house would soon go up in flames he left through the back door as the house he had called home for the past three years went up in flames.

It was now a matter of sneaking through the various side roads and alleyways till he got to the dock district. He had scheduled the meeting with the minor noble the same day a trade ship would be departing for his kingdom so he could leave the same day.

Perhaps that was him being careless with a potential connection but he felt he left enough bread crumbs pointing in different directions and other possibilities that it was unlikely.

As he made his way to the ship he walked to the captain “Greetings good sir. How much for passage?”

The Captain gave him a look and a small grunt. Two silver, and a name passenger registry.”

Ignes pulled out 20 silver and handed it to the captain who snatched it from him “Welcome aboard stowaway. Don’t go looking for trouble and no trouble will find you”

Ignes offered his thanks and walked aboard. The ship would be leaving soon and he’d finally be able to return home. He hoped Cathryn was doing okay. Even if they had managed to deal with Captain Gates while he had been gone the ingots would still help for any potential criminal mages.

He made his way below deck so fewer people would have the chance to see him. It is time to go home.