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The Misadventures of a Biomancer
Chapter 2 – Wheelin’ and Healin’

Chapter 2 – Wheelin’ and Healin’

Finally free, it had taken twenty years for me to reach this point. I was free from studies, free from my parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents very much, and they’ve been great and supportive. It's just been hard to keep a secret as big as mine without feeling a bit like I’m pretending I'm someone I’m not at all times. I had told them about my plans way back when I started to attend the academy, just not all the reasons. I told them I wanted to see the world, which is true, but I also just wanted to get far away and start anew. It wasn't as if I could ever reveal my nature as a Biomancer anywhere, but I could change myself up a bit and no one would be all the wiser.

I made my way down the steep stairs that lead to Lilroth academy. The academy was situated on a large hill looking over a larger lake. The lake had a fancy name, but everyone just called it “the lake”, because it was the only lake nearby. The stairs took me down to a large circular staging area. It was a gorgeous place surrounded by trees in full bloom and a large fountain in the middle. The place was already filling up with carriages. Probably nobles picking up their graduating sons and daughters.

I sauntered into the richer part of town, but even so the landscape quickly changed from almost obnoxious gaudiness to just regular fancy buildings. The area around the academy was mostly noble dormitories and upscale restaurants. I wasn’t sure why they didn't just stay in the rooms provided by the academy. Surely they were plenty luxurious. But what did I know, I was just from a family of peasants.

I needed to find a fast luxurious carriage to travel with, no way I would walk as far as I planned to go, and regular carriages were just so painfully bumpy. But first and foremost, I needed to get some quick cash and I had just the idea.

I’d finally reached the town square. I picked up a few sweetrolls and a cup of apple juice as a quick breakfast. You’d get a whole copper back if you brought the wooden cup back, but I just tossed it to the side of the road. Some people looked at me in disapproval but weren't going to antagonize me for something so trivial.

I walked up to a stall with a vendor shining shoes for a living. The man was far from rich looking, but shining shoes wasn’t exactly a business you could run elsewhere in town. He was a middle-aged man with a faintly receding hairline. All in all, a very unremarkable man. I was going to give him a very remarkable offer, however.

“Hey you, yeah you with the shiniest shoes around. I have a business proposition. Don’t look at me like that, I’m serious. I just graduated from Lilroth academy as a healer.”

I gestured at my clothing as I held my freshly minted certificate in front of the man’s face. He looked at it and his eyes opened wide as he reached what I assume is my grade in healing. His expression went from cranky and tired to rapt and alert in a heartbeat.

“So, what’s your business proposition Miss Violet?” He said with almost a bit of reverence in his voice.

“Well, basically, you lend me your stall for the day, and you get ten percent of my profits while doing absolutely nothing.“

The man looked at me with his mouth agape.

“Twenty percent and you have a deal.” He replied.

I just chuckled.

“No, ten percent is already more than you’ll make in a month. My offer stands, otherwise it looks like your competitor over there might have overheard us and looks very interested.”

When he realized how much money was at stake he quickly stood up and gestured at his seat.

“My stall is yours Miss Violet, why don't I head over to a woodworker and get you a sign.” The man almost stumbled over his words and quickly made himself scarce. I had to stop him just to tell him what to put on said sign. At least he took initiative to improve the outcome for both of us.

Quick and cheap healing from an S grade healer

I sat down in the wooden chair and leaned it back on its back legs, putting my feet on the table in a very unladylike manner. I looked over the crowd nearby and yelled out to a street rat nearby.

“Oi you there, why don't you skip cutting purses today and help me out instead. I've got a gold coin with your name on it.”

I dangled a gold coin from my purse in my fingers. I almost mistook the boy as a biomancer as I swear his eyes got as big as saucers at the sight of the gold coin.

“Yes miss how can I be of your utmost service?!” He bounced up next to me.

“I need you and your friends to quickly spread a rumor that a healer is selling her services for cheap on this square. I'll give you one gold coin now, and one more once you’re done. How does that sound?”

The boy just vibrated with excitement next to me as he instantly went off the moment I finished my sentence.

“Yesmissmadameilldoexactlythat….”

About an hour later I had a fancy new sign above the stall and a nice line of rich looking people waiting to be healed. I stopped pretending to sleep and rubbed my eyes. No one wanted to be the one interrupting the nap of a healer offering a discount, apparently. I looked at the man at the front of the line.

“Well how can I help you today sir?” I asked the clearly troubled man.

“You see, I work as a tailor and lately my hands just don't stop shaking. The healer I contacted said she couldn't do anything about it. But you can, right!? You’ve graduated with an S grade.” He sounded almost desperate at the end.

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“Well, let's have a look shall we, put your hands on the table, and I'll see what we can do.” I send my magic throughout his body, inspecting and looking around for anything and everything that could be wrong. “Hmm yes, there is nothing wrong with your hands. No, don't panic, that doesn’t mean I can’t fix it. Yes, the problem is elsewhere, The problem is actually in your brain. Now technically I can’t heal aging, but I think I can fix this. But it’s not going to be easy or cheap I’m afraid. Hmm, I think ten gold coins should cover it. I'll even give you ten percent off if you tell your other healer she’s an idiot. How about it?”

The man just stood there for a while, mouth ajar from both my price and my gall. He just handed over ten golden coins and kept quiet, guess he didn't want to piss off his regular healer. His loss. I rose to my feet and put a hand to the side of his head and let my magic flow in, repairing and renewing his neurons. The issue would come back in ten years or so, but I missed the part where that’s my problem. After a few minutes I sat down, pretending to be exhausted. I had never ever come close to even noticing my mana pool go down when using Biomancy. But there is no way I would go around and tell people that.

A few customers and broken bones healed later; a large carriage rolled up and a few well-dressed personal guards came up to my stall. Oh shit, I hoped I hadn't already pissed off someone important. Doing what I was doing wasn’t illegal, but it was heavily frowned upon. However, instead of antagonizing me, one of the guards declared out loud.

“Our sire wishes to meet the S tier healer in private. He’s just inside the carriage.”

A few of the customers had a sour mien thanks to them cutting ahead in the queue, but no one in the queue considered themselves important enough to speak up.

“Sure thing buddy.” I gave the guard a friendly pat on the shoulder. I then made my way to the carriage entrance and climbed in without being stopped, so I assumed it was alright.

Before even setting my eyes on the people inside, I noticed that the sound of the city went away. Some magic to make it soundproof I would assume. Inside I was greeted by quite the sight. To the right sat a handsome man in his early thirties, who I recognized as one of the local counts. Most counts are righteous cunts, but I heard this cun— , Count was fairly alright. To the left sat an incredibly beautiful woman, who I could only assume was the man’s wife. She was said to be beautiful, but this was the first time I had seen her in person. The only thing exaggerated about the rumors were her chest. It was said to be quite bountiful, but the woman’s chest was honestly quite modest. Not only that though, the Count was quite the looker himself.

It was fairly common that wealthy people got themselves the service of mages with good affinities like beauty to make them prettier, but this was just straight up unfair. This must have cost them an absolute fortune, unless it was just lucky genetics. Probably a combination of both. Maybe I should’ve pretended to have a beauty affinity myself, instead of moonlighting as a healer. Then again, I do actually enjoy healing people, so I probably would be less happy in the long-term.

“So how can I be of assistance to you Count Jefferson?”

“I heard you're the best of the best. I need your help. Can’t get it up.” He whispered out while getting a bit red in his face.

“I’m sorry sir, I need you to be more detailed, I'm not quite sure if I understand what you mean.” I said with an innocent face, while absolutely knowing what he meant.

“I can’t get an erection!” The man almost yelled out and buried his hands in his face.

“I need to be able to have an heir” He followed up with a bit more dignity in his voice.

His wife just sat there, trying to keep her face expressionless, but also growing slightly red. Oh, this was so much fun. I tried to put on my most serious work face.

“I see, I see. I’d have to take a closer look, but it sounds like something I can deal with. But you know this is something you normally need a highly qualified specialist to deal with, so it's not going to be cheap I’m afraid.”

Before I could say anything more, he gestured at a filled bag near the exit I had come in from.

“Yes, that should be plenty, now you realize I’m going to have to get close to get a good picture. I hope you don’t mind Mrs. Jefferson.” I turned to the man’s wife as I asked.

She just turned beet red and gave a shy nod. Yes! That’s the exact reaction I hoped to provoke. Score one for Alina. The count took off his belt and pulled down his pants. I placed my hands on the bare skin of his thigh. It was fairly widely known that touch of the affected area worked the best. But due to location, the thigh was close enough. It’d take more magic than direct touch, but it would be minimal, and in my case irrelevant.

I moved my hand around getting different perspectives, to better identify any issues.

“Yeah, it’s exactly what I thought the issue was. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it can happen to anyone. Now the solution isn't quite so simple, but it’s something I can deal with, although it will take quite some time and mana to do. With your permission sir I’d like to start.”

I could see other healers missing the issue. It wasn’t so much that anything was directly broken or damaged, instead it was nerves that simply did not transmit correctly.

The man, already blushing from my fairly intimate touch, just nodded. After a few minutes I had a good idea of how to solve the issue and fixed up all the issues that prevented the poor man from consummating his marriage with his beautiful wife.

About fifteen minutes later I retracted my hand and smiled at the man.

“Alright, I’m almost certain things are working as they should now. I’ll wait outside while you verify, but if you want I can give your wife a quick look over for free before I leave. Since we’re on the subject, childbirth is dangerous, and while I can’t be there to help out; I can do everything In my power to ensure it'll go as painlessly as possible. After all, you’ve provided more than enough compensation.”

The woman nodded enthusiastically at my suggestion, which was understandable, childbirth was one of the more common causes of death after all. I rose up from my seat next to the Count and moved over and sat down again next to her.

“Excuse me Mrs.” I said as I placed my hand as far up on her leg as possible, without moving any of her clothes. I didn’t want to be inappropriate after all.

I sent my magical probes into her body, scanning everything and taking good measure of everything, so I could copy some of her good looks later. I coined the term for this myself, but I called it templates. I also identified a few defects here and there. A cancer caught early, and I made sure I revitalized her cell age just a few years without being too obvious. As payment for copying some of her better features in the future.

“I fixed a bunch of minor things, nothing big, but you’re now as healthy as one can possibly be. Still, I would do regular check-ups with a healer you trust.”

She once again nodded enthusiastically, damn her face was even cuter up close. Too bad she was already married.

“Well, my work here is done. And by the looks of it, your little guy is working and at full attention now as well. He might be a bit bigger than you remember due to the issues going away.”

I winked at the man and chuckled as both their faces went beet red, and I swear I could see steam leaking from the wife’s ears. Yes! Another perfect reaction. Score two-zero to Alina. I dropped down along the side of the wagon and went back to my seat by the stall.

The sun finally went down over the rooftops and the stream of customers came to an end. I took a few coins from my now heavy pouch and handed a bunch over to the stall owner and a few to the street rat. I gave them both more than I had promised, but who cares I was rich.