Kayla wore a pair of shorts and a light T-shirt to help stay cooler, as it was hot in her apartment because her air-conditioner was on the blink again. She was sitting on the side of her bed looking out her apartment window, thinking about Alex and how he had asked her to marry him last night.
She had been surprised by his marriage proposal, as in all the time they had been dating, Alex had never told her he loved her. Not even when he asked her to marry him did, he say those three magical words to her, just simply told her he wanted to marry her.
After Alex left last night, Kayla lain in bed and began to wonder why she hadn’t given Alex a definite yes or no answer last night. Was it because part of her was afraid? If so, why was she afraid? Alex didn’t do anything to make her feel this way, she just felt as if she shouldn’t marry him. Maybe it had to do with Rick and their failed marriage, worried that this marriage might fail as well.
Kayla also pondered if she should ask Alex why he wanted to marry her. She had read too many novels lately about arranged marriage, ones that told how the bride had fallen in love with her new husband, but was waiting for him to say those three magical words, ‘I love you’ to them, but never did. This wasn’t a novel written about life in the eighteen hundreds, nor was it an arranged marriage. This was the year 2002 and she wanted Alex to tell her that he loved her before she gave him her answer.
The next day Kayla went to the nearby shopping mall to buy a friend’s birthday gift, but her mind tried to make a final decision about Alex’s proposal, as she’d told him she would let him know her answer tonight. She happened to stop at a jewelry store where she found a beautiful man’s wedding band and fell in love with it. Maybe she would bring Alex here to see if he liked it too, that is, if she said yes to him.
Alex wanted her answer tonight, but she still wasn’t sure what it was going to be yet. He said they would be moving out of Kansas City, but he wouldn’t elaborate, which was puzzling to her. Why was he being so mysterious? Why couldn’t he just tell her about where they would be living? What was the big secret? Kayla didn’t want to leave her home or her friends, but neither did she want to lose Alex.
She thought back to the night in January when they first met. She was lonely, her husband, Rick of two years had been dead for over two years. Their marriage hadn’t be a great one, but it had started out to be a good one. Kayla met Rick at college; as they had the same speech class together. Oh, how Kayla hated that class! She didn’t like to get up in front of a crowd and speak. After giving her first speech presentation, Rick introduced himself and offered to help her practice.
He told her the old saying, ‘Pretend they are sitting there in their underwear.’ She laughed at his comment, as she could just see her teacher, old man Mr. Oliver in his boxers, as he didn’t look the type to wear any other kind of underwear.
It wasn’t too much later before Rick asked her out on a date and they dated the rest of the semester. One night, Rick took her to her favorite restaurant for dinner, and after a wonderful meal, they walked out to the parking lot, and Rick took hold of her hand. As he looked into her eyes, he told her, “Kayla, I love you,” then he pulled her into his arms, right in the middle of the parking lot. People were walking around them as they stood there in an embrace ambivalence of the people around them. “Will you marry me?”
Kayla was surprised by his question, as they’d only been dating four months. She knew he was a great guy, but to marry him and live together for the rest of their lives together, she wasn’t sure about. Was what she felt for Rick, love? She never had been in love before, but the thought of him not being in her life, brought her to tears, so maybe this was true love. “Yes, Rick. I’ll marry you.”
They got into the car and drove to her apartment. As soon as the door closed behind them, Rick had Kayla in his arms kissing her, and within ten minutes of arriving to the apartment, they were in bed together. Luckily, Rick was prepared for such an occasion. Being this was Kayla’s first experience with sex, she was nervous and self-conscious about taking off her clothes in front of him. She worried about what Rick would think about her body, as she thought she was overweight, to her the ideal weight was at least ten pounds less than what she weighed. She had planned to work on losing the extra amount this summer, but she hadn’t even started on it yet and here it was already July.
She wanted the lights off and Rick wanted the lights on, finally they found a compromise; Kayla left the bathroom light on and slightly closed the door to block most of the light out. She held her breath as he cautiously began unbuttoning her blouse. It was as if he was waiting for her to slap his face or something. Soon he was on the last button, as the blouse opened to his view, Kayla hastily grabbed her blouse, pulling the two sides back together.
“Kayla, it will be easier to make love without your clothes.” He whispered seductive in her ear.
She swallowed with difficulty and managed a feeble answer. “I know, but this is my first time. I feel unsure about it all as somehow it seems wrong.”
His warm hand gently stroked her face. “Honey, we are going to be married soon.” He kissed her softly; it was surprising rousing, even though it hadn’t started out to be that way. “There isn’t anything wrong about us loving each other before we’re married.” He whispered in her ear.
Awkwardly, she cleared her throat. “I know.” There was a tingling in the pit of her stomach as she gradually moved away from him and let go of her blouse.
Slowly Rick gently pushed the blouse off her shoulders, and it fell unnoticed to the floor. He kissed each bare shoulder before reaching behind her to undo her bra. When she realized what he was doing, she tried to push him away.
Tears blinding her and choking her voice. “Rick, please don’t,” She softly begged. “I can’t do this.” She leaned her forehead against his.
“Yes, honey, yes you can.” He moved his hands away from her and abruptly pulled his shirt over his head, then took her hands and put them on his bare chest. “Touch me.” He quietly commanded her.
Slowly she moved her hands lightly around on his bare chest. His chest hairs tickled the palms of her hand as she moved them across his chest. A slight smile tugged on her face, then she pressed her hand harder on his chest, enjoying the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips. “Does that feel good?” She whispered slyly.
“Yes.” His eyes were closed, a smile of contentment showed on his face. He opened his eyes, putting his hands on hers. “I want to touch you like that too.” He barely could say the words because he was so entranced with the heat that was building inside of him.
She laughed, and Rick looked at her strangely. “I’m sorry but that won’t be possible.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a hairy chest.”
Rick laughed aloud. “You silly girl.”
“I’m not a little girl.”
“No, you are most definitely all woman.” This time when Rick put his hands on the back of her bra, she didn’t try to stop him. After unfastening the bra, he pulled it off and let it fall to the floor. His gaze was riveted on her face, then slowly moved downwards, as he began kissing her and slowly moving his hand to make love to her each of her breasts.
Soon they were both naked on the bed. His hands were magical, his words were poetic, and the night was perfect for her. Afterwards as Kayla laid her head on his shoulder, they made plans for the wedding. They saw no reason to have a long engagement, so she decided to quit school and married Rick the next month and at the time, it all seemed to be the right thing for her to do.
It was about a year after they were married, women started calling for Rick at all hours of the night, making her regret her decision to marry Rick before knowing him longer. He would talk to them privately for a while, and when he hung up, he refused tell her anything about the calls. One night, Kayla heard the phone ringing, looking at the clock, she saw it was 1:00 in the morning. Kayla knew from experience if she should answer the phone, whoever was on the other end would simply hang up on her, as they wanted to talk to Rick, not her, so she punched Rick in the arm, “Get the phone.”
Rick slowly answered the phone and Kayla pretended she had fallen back to sleep, listening carefully to his end of the conversation.
“No, I can’t come over now,” he hastily whispered.
Rick was quiet and Kayla knew he was listening to the other person. “All right, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Rick just left, without saying good-bye or even left her a note. He simply left their room and walked out the front door. She didn’t see him again until the next evening, and when he came in, he acted as if it was a normal evening for them.
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“Kayla, I’m home.”
“Rick, where did you go last night?” Kayla asked as she fixed their dinner.
“Nowhere important. What’s for dinner? I’m starved.” Rick walked over to the stove to see what Kayla was fixing.
He didn’t kiss her or even give her a hug hello. In fact, he hardly ever touched her anymore and it had been months since the last time they made love. It was as if a brick wall was slowly building between them. That night was the first time he had ever left when he got a call at night, but it wasn’t the last.
Sometimes he would pack a small bag and be gone for days at a time, and he wouldn’t ever tell her anything about these calls. If he thought she loved him so much that she would put up with all this bull, he had another thing coming to him that was for sure.
It was just after their second anniversary, which of course, he forgot, she told him to pack his belongings and move out permanently. She told him she wanted a divorce, that way he could be with his other women all the time.
Rick expression clouded in anger. “Kayla, those women don’t mean anything to me. They are just friends who need my help with their problems.” His voice was cold as he yelled at her,
“When was the last time you made love to me?” Kayla asked, knowing he wouldn’t know the answer.
Rick thought a minute, and then he looked at her. “Last week?”
“No, it has been over three months. When was the last time you made love to someone else?”
“I haven’t made love to anyone else.” He denied, but his eyes dropped to somewhere on the floor as he refused to look at her.
“I don’t believe that crap. Do you know what last Saturday was? I bet you don’t. It was our second wedding anniversary. Now pack your bag for good this time and leave, I don’t want to ever see you again.”
Rick frowned with cold fury, and then said angrily. “You are a stupid woman.” He then lifted his arm in the air as if to strike her.
Kayla took a step backwards when he had raised his arm, afraid he was going to hit her. So afraid, she ran to the bedroom, locked the door, and quickly called the police. By the time the police arrived at the house, Rick was already gone.
The police came back several hours later to tell her Rick had died in a terrible car accident. Some teenagers were speeding, and lost control of their car, hitting Rick head on and everyone in the two cars died instantly. Both drivers had been drinking and no one in either car had their seat belts on, but it was doubtful if having a seat belt on would have made any difference in the outcome of this accident.
Kayla slowly started her life again. Her husband had been dead for months, but she waited six months more before she started dating again. She had a hard time finding dates, even to the point she answered an ad in the personal section of the local newspaper. His name was Peter, and they visited on the phone several times before they decided to meet at a local restaurant. That way, if they didn’t appeal to each other, they could simply leave and go their separate ways. Once they began talking, they couldn’t stop, sitting there for over an hour before the waitress asked them to leave. They laughed because they couldn’t believe how fast the time had passed. They said their good-byes and Peter said he would call her later.
Kayla missed the sexual part of her marriage, she wanted to be held, touch and to feel loved again. Soon she and Peter were lovers, but she didn’t love Peter. He kept to himself and didn’t let Kayla get close to him. She knew this relationship wasn’t going anywhere and wanted more than Peter was willing to offer her. Kayla told him she didn’t wanted to see him any longer and started going to single dances at local hotels. Sometimes she went to the dances alone and other times she went with some of her girlfriends, but she didn’t ever have a good time at any of them
It was April 21, and love was it the air. Kayla was going to a singles dance at the Daily Inn about 20 miles away from her home, and tonight would be the night she would change her usual routine. In the past, she always waited for a man to ask her to dance, but not tonight. Instead of waiting for them to ask her to dance, she was going to start asking the guys. She figured the worst they could say would be to tell her they didn’t want to dance with her. She couldn’t stay too late tonight because she had to be at work by 7:00 in the morning.
She had been at the dance for about a half hour, had asked several guys to dance, but most of them had said no, because they were there with their girlfriends. It was that way at most of the single dances she had been to. Kayla thought if you came to a singles dance, you shouldn’t be there with a date. She was thinking about leaving when she saw a tall, good-looking man leave the dance floor with a woman, and wondered if they were a couple, but when she went to a table in the other direction, Kayla took it as a good sign.
There was something about him that drew her to him. She couldn’t take her eyes off him as she slowly walked towards him. When she finally reached his table, he was lighting a cigarette. She decided to go to the ladies’ room first, giving him time to smoke the cigarette before she asked him to dance. His smoking almost changed her mind about asking him to dance, as she was a nonsmoker and thought smoking was a nasty habit, and bad for one’s health. She figured it wouldn’t hurt just to dance with him. It wasn’t as if they would end up getting married for goodness sake.
When Kayla came back for the bathroom, and saw he was gone and almost cried with disappointment. Thinking he left the dance, she decided she would go on home herself, so she went back to her table to pick up her belongings. As she started to leave, she looked once more at the table where he had been sitting and a smile covered her face, as he was just sitting down at the table, with a can of soda in his hand. Joy bubbled in the pit of her stomach as she approached him, he didn’t see her coming because he was looking out at the dance floor.
As Kayla walked slowly to his table, she nervously moistened her dry lips. “Excuse me. Would you like to dance?” She held her breath, she was afraid his answer would be no.
He looked up at her and smiled. “Yes, I would.” His smile reached all the way to his eyes, as his gaze seductively looked her over.
She was surprised by his answer, because she was positive that he would give her the same response as most of the other men did. His smile sent her pulses racing, so much so she was afraid she might faint.
“You can leave your stuff here while we dance.”
She laid down her belonging on the table and waited for him to join her.
When Alex stood, his eyes glazed into hers, causing his pulses to suddenly take a leap. He was surprised as warmth flowed through his veins with desire as her nearness overwhelmed him. Never had he felt this intense attraction to a woman before. Could she be the one he’d been searching for all his adult life? “Hello, my name is Alex Gordon.” He put his hand out to shake hands with her, the instant his hand touched hers, an electrifying quiver went up his arm and at that moment he knew he’d found the woman he was going to marry.
When his hand touched hers, a tingling sensation shot through her as they looked into each other’s eyes, and it was love at first sight for her, then she returned his smile as she took the hand, he offered her.
Neither of them had ever experienced anything this powerful before. Hand in hand, they walked onto the dance floor. He turned to her, his arms encircled her, one hand in the small of her back, and the other grasped her hand.
As they danced, he told her about himself. He was 25 years old, he never been married, and was in town on business. While they danced, Alex would sometimes nibble on her ear, and the first time his lips touched her ear, she jumped in surprised.
Kayla never had a man do this before, and she found it to be exciting and very erotic. They danced all the remaining dances together, and the only time he let her out of his sight once when she had to use the ladies’ room.
Before she knew it, it was midnight and time for her to leave. He asked her out for breakfast, but she declined, because she needed to get up early in the morning for work. She wished she could just call in sick so she could spend more time with Alex, but she couldn’t do that to her coworkers or the patients she took care of at the nursing home. She was troubled, wondering if he would think she was just giving him the brush off, but then he asked for her phone number.
He told her that he would call her next week, but she had heard that line before. She was afraid he wouldn’t call her, and she absolutely wanted him to. Kayla let him kiss her goodnight, holding on tightly to him when his lips touched hers. It took her several seconds after the kiss ended before she could regain her equilibrium and then he walked her to the car. Kayla got in, buckled her seat belt, then waved at Alex as she drove away into the darkness of the night.
The next Friday night, Alex called and asked her out to dinner for that Saturday night at the local pizza restaurant. Alex brought her a single yellow rose when he came to pick her up, and she was very touched, as she hadn’t ever had a date bring her flowers before, not even just one. They had a great time and made plans to go out again soon, then Alex gave her a light goodnight kiss and promised to call soon. This time, Kayla was sure he would call her again.
Soon the two of them were going out every weekend and talked on the phone often during the week. Because of her job and the distance, they lived from each other, they weren’t able see each other during the week.
Kayla smiled as she remembered the first time, they made love. She was in bed, waiting for him to remove the last piece of his clothing before he joined her. He was standing in the doorframe of the bathroom, and the glow from the streetlight outside was coming in the through the bathroom window. It lit the room just enough for Kayla to see what he was still wearing, which was just his bikini underwear. Kayla’s mouth felt as if a ball of cotton was in it, her heart was thundering in her chest, and she had to concentrate on breathing. She had never seen a man wear anything except plain white jockey shorts and found what he was wearing arousing as she continued to watch him remove this final piece of clothing.
From that very first night, their sex life had been great. Now, Kayla knew the meaning of the expression “great sex,” because that was what they had together. Alex made her feel loved, and he brought out the best part of her whenever they were together. When Kayla told Alex she loved him, he told her he wasn’t sure of his feeling for her yet. That was all right with her, she knew he loved her, but just couldn’t put it into words yet.
A car door slamming outside the window brought her quickly back to the present. She knew now what her answer would be to Alex’s question. Before she knew it, Alex was knocking at her door. She looked out the window, and saw Alex had a dozen yellow roses with him. They had disagreed once about how many roses he had brought Kayla on their first date. She said it was just one, he said it was a dozen. It didn’t matter to her, but it must have been important for him since this time he had at least a dozen yellow roses in his hands.
She was smiling as she opened the door. Alex seeing her expression, he knew her answer was yes and opened his arms to her.
It was as if his arms were calling her to him, she knew it was where she belonged. He handed her the flowers and then their lips met as she stepped into his embrace. It was at this exact moment the room filled with a sparkling light that blinded Kayla.