God's first attempt at the 'Perfect being'. That is what I, Ambrose, am supposed to be.

I was supposed to be the ideal being, created in God's image. The perfect mind, the perfect body and undying.

In the eyes of man, I was everything they wanted to be, however in the eyes of the one who created me, I was much too flawed.

So it tried to get rid of me through various methods. It even sent a meteor to crash down on top of me.

However, not even God could kill me. I, in the complete sense of the word, was immortal.

And it was because of this immortality that I was considered a failure to God.

Humans could find meaning to life in their endless desire for their 'needs', but I never 'needed' anything to live. 

I did not require food. I did not require water or protection from harm or even air to breath. I had nothing from which I could derive meaning from. 

Which is why I never felt any real desire from the beginning.

I simply existed.

I have lived a long time. Longer than humans have existed.

I have watched the beings earlier humans called 'Gods' as they ruled their land. I have seen human civilizations rise and fall. I have witnessed all of human history and because of this mind mind I have, I remember every second of it.

My life was meaningless as I watched humans go about their lives.

Until I looked across the crowd of people and saw her. 

It was then that I first felt desire.

My heart began to beat faster than it ever had before, my body wouldn't move and I couldn't shake the feeling of being nervous when looking at her. 

Looking back, she certainly would not be called the most beautiful or elegant woman by any of the other bystanders, in fact to everyone else she was just another face in the crowd drifting by, but to me she looked like the 'Perfect being' God had tried to make.

However, as inexperienced in such feelings as I was, I was completely oblivious to the fact that I had fallen deeply in love with her. 

I remember thinking that these feelings may be the feeling of 'Fear' one feels when they see their imminent death.

So I wanted to stay away from her, but that idea made my heartache so terribly I actually feel to my knees clutching my chest with tears in my eyes.

I was confused and scared, I didn't know what was happening to me or why I was acting in such a way whenever I thought of leaving her, who I was so sure would be my death.

At the scene of a crying man clutching his chest, the other bystanders moved around to avoid me, fearful that I may have been possessed by something.

I simply sat there unsure of what to do until I heard a voice ask me if I was okay.

The voice felt like a sweet melody that was being played only for me. I felt the pain withdraw and my confusion and fear were completely forgotten as I etched the voice in my memory.

The person asked me if I was okay a second time with a little more urgency.

"Nn. Yes I am well."

I was feeling more than just 'well', I felt at peace for the first time in my everlasting life. I wished to witness the owner of such a wonderful voice as I properly gave my thanks and as I looked up. I saw her staring back at me with a worried look on her face.

The previous feelings had returned, but with a newly added feeling. The feeling of sadness.

"Ah...ah..."

I can speak fluently in every language and know nearly every single word that has ever been written, but in that moment I couldn't think of anything to say, I was too perplexed by the emotions I was feeling for the first time.

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"Are you sure you are okay?" she asked.

Not knowing what to even think let alone say, I did the only thing that made sense at the time. I ran away.

It hurt me to do so, but the sadness and fear prevented my from looking back.

Hours later, after I had regained my composure, I decided to follow her and try to determine what those feelings were and why she was the only one who made me act that way.

Looking back, I should have been more courageous before it was too late, but then again I didn't know of the misfortune that would befall.

Just mere weeks after I had met her she had caught a terrible illness that would later be called the 'Black plague'.

She had been walking down the same street I first saw her, the very street which had once been packed with people was now nearly devoid of life with dead bodies littering the surroundings.

Even weak as she was, she went around helping the poor souls who had also been caught by the plague. My heart ached at the sight of her using that last of her own strength to help others. I couldn't understand why she would do such a thing for others when she could save her strength and try to save herself. After all I had seen many human in the pas go to extreme length to save their own skin.

Yet here she was, a phantom of her previous self, helping those worse than herself. 

And she continued doing that right up until the day she exhausted the last of her strength and collapsed.

I rushed towards her before I could even think and picked her up in my arms.

"I...I need to get you some hel..."

Even as I frantically looked around at the other infected people in hopes of finding someone that could help her, she grabbed the collar of my shirt and looked at me.

"Ah...It's you. I'm glad you are....safe, but...you should put me down...and...cover your...n...nose... So you don't...get...infected."

I was shocked. Not only had she remembered me, she was also prioritizing my safety over her own. At her words, I couldn't stop the pain in my chest or the tears falling from my eyes. I wanted to help her desperately.

"P..pl..please. I don't want you...to get infected...because of me."

"Why?" I asked, tears flowing from my eyes.

"Because it would make the work I..I've done to help others me...meaningless."

"No. Why sacrifice yourself to help others? You may have been able to survive this plague if you focused on yourself first."

At my words she smiled weakly and shook her head.

"I...wanted my last...days on this...e..earth...to be spent helping others."

Looking at her smiling face, which looked almost ghastly because of the plague, I noticed tears well up in her eyes and fall down her cheeks.

At first I thought that she was not afraid of death and was doing what she did for some selfish reason I couldn't think of, but in that moment I understood.

She was just as horrified of dying as anyone else, but despite her fear of death she resolved herself and decided to spend her time helping others rather than letting that fear paralyze her as she slowly rotted away in agonizing pain.

I used my thumb and wiped away her tears from her face. Even though she looked like a living corpse, I thought she was the most gorgeous woman I had ever met.

"I..I'm scared..." she whispered to me in a weak voice. She didn't have much longer.

"Don't worry," I cried, "I'll help you. I swear I will. I won't let you die..."

I got up and carried her in my arms as I ran around aimlessly in hopes of finding a magical cure that would never appear. 

"S...smile...please. One...one last...time...be...fore...I...go....." she exhaled.

"What? No. No no no no no."

I stopped and tried shaking her awake. I listened for her breathing, for her heartbeat, for anything that would tell me that she was still alive and that the first promise I ever made would not be broken.

But it was too late.

"No..." I whispered as tear began to flow even more than before.

I felt a deep despairing sorrow like never before as I laid there cradling her dead body in my arms, wailing for her to return to me.

The first curse of immortality is the lack of meaning in life and the second curse, which I had learned in the most painful way possible, was that I could never grow old and die with the one I loved. I would forever be doomed to watch then slowly wither way and die.

I never wished for death with the same desperation I had at that moment. I longed to spend more time with her. The woman who had capured my heart without even knowing. 

I hadn't even learned her name.

Crying into her body I remembered the promise I had made her.

"I won't let you die..."

Although I couldn't help her now, I would make sure to help others in her memory.

I dried the tears from my eyes and smile, just as she did in her final moments.

"I didn't know you for long. In fact I didn't even get the chance to learn of your name, but I think... No. I know that you would want me to help others, just as you had."

Wearing a sad smile as I held back tears I laid her still smiling corpse down and crossed her arms. I looked around and noticed a single small flower growing through the cracks in the street. I picked it and walked back to her and placed the flower in her hands.

As I stood back up and bowed my head to her I could no longer hold back the tears and began crying, but just as she had asked with her last breath.

After a couple of minutes I finally stopped the tears, but I couldn't stop the pain in my heart. Regardless of that I resolved myself, just as she had, and set out to help as many people as I could.

For you my nameless love...