Novels2Search
The Mathematics of Dynamism
20 : Book 2 : Chapter 1 : Kernel of my selfish self

20 : Book 2 : Chapter 1 : Kernel of my selfish self

The police helicopter landed above my penthouse the day after I got outed on my lunch walk. By that point, everything had already changed because I had changed.

The radar system surrounding VI gave us plenty of warning. I felt like there were things that I should be hiding, paraphernalia of a conspiracy embedded in the silicon of a hundred hard drives. Those are not so easy to hide, despite already being fairly well hidden.

I was the founding member of a secret conspiracy to overthrow the world’s biggest government. I, Julius Paine, was more than willing to see the old world order of nation states fall for a more federated world. I was planning actions to see that it did.

I didn’t even have weed to hide. I almost felt ashamed, but a greater part was relief.

I had never been in trouble with the law, but I had more than my fair share of reasons to, at least as I saw it. Stealing books, even if they tell you to in the title, is something that I would expect to go to jail for. But I had never been caught. After my professional life catapulted me into stardom, I had never been asked a question without a lawyer by my side.

That would change today.

The first person to walk through the entryway was such an incredibly beautiful woman it made me think of Lauria. She stopped two feet in front of the door and six people poured into the room around her. One kindly walked directly towards me and handed me a search warrant. “I would have consented anyway. Feel free to look around as much as you like.” I took the warrant and handed it back to the first police officer to walk in.

Correction: federal officer, it was really quite an impressive badge, although I had to ask to see it again before I could understand exactly what division of the government she was working with. “What exactly does the Department of International Courtesy do, Agent Converez?”

I guess all policeman have strict instructions about the use of sunglasses in diplomacy and in introductions. She removed them and shook out her hair in what must have been a well-rehearsed delay and distraction routine. Should I feel grateful that they felt me important enough to send me what must be one of the most beautiful women they employ? Or annoyed that they thought it would work?

“Our duty is to track persons of interest who cross international borders, Mr. Paine. We discovered long ago that they are the ones who make the most money and the most problems, sir.” They had even found an agent whose voice could charm a jackal from a fresh kill.

“It is flattering to think that I am among that number. I don’t believe I ever encountered one of your colleagues before my trip to the Arctic.” I replied.

Pearly white teeth of impeccable symmetry flashed as she smiled. “That is typically how we like it. However, the President decided that the sums of money involved with your departure and return merited a more hands-on treatment.”

She broke eye contact. The paranoid part of my brain was shouting thing it had to be a move calculated to make me trust her. If she thought me a dangerous animal then she would certainly not look away.

She continued. “It was very fortunate that the Valuestream was not a publicly traded company when you went on your little trip. The drop in stock market value from your supplier and customers resulting from your sabbatical was incredibly bad, even without any direct investment based on your, let’s be frank, genius.”

This is going to be a dangerous game for me.

I saw nuances in her every move. There was no flick of her eyes that did not convey volumes of meaning to me. I remembered what it feels like to be afraid. The last time that I had truly feared the world was the last time that I had been high. “I must admit, some of the changes during my absence leave me pleasantly surprised. I would not have expected so many states to legalize marijuana, let alone the realtime truth tracking set in place for public servants.” I gave my biggest smile. “The world seems healthier than before my absence.”

It was true. Some parts of the world did seem better than when I left more than a year ago. I always have done my best lying with the truth. Don’t let her ask me if the world is still sick.

She sent me rueful non-verbal signals. “You may have had more to do with De-Prohibition laws that you know. After you disappeared, there were a very vocal minority that suggested that you had dropped off the grid because you were tired of being persecuted for your lifestyle.”

That brought a chuckle to my lips, a real one. “I never was very good at hiding the fact that I thought some substances were good for people. I’m sure it didn’t help that I was always talking about drugs like they were my medicine.”

“Help is just what it did. The drug war was a waste. Now that it’s almost over there are actually fewer alcohol related accidents every year. But we digress, sir.” Ah, she wanted me to believe that I could distract her, that she could become more than the International Courtesy Agent assigned to me.

Nothing is ever easy. After a brief pause where she brought her attention fully towards me“There are questions that must be asked of you. They will take more time than we have left during the night. I must also ask that you curtail your public appearances entirely. At the moment you are too volatile a figure to risk on the public.”

She was giving me a very serious, very sober look.

It wasn’t hard to show her my confusion, as I was legitimately confused. I knew that there were reasons why I should be considered a concern to society, but to the best of my knowledge, Agent Converez wasn’t aware of my plans for fake aliens or a coup in China.

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

Nor did she know how happy I was about some of the changes that had taken place in the world, nor how much I had designed the Valuestream to accomplish those changes.

Wow, I really do have a lot going on.

“It seems you have some information that I do not.” I began. “I am a businessman who decided to take a personal hiatus from sharing my life with society. I don’t know how that qualifies me as a public menace.”

I let a little heat enter my voice. “Up until the moment I left, I put my life on the Valuestream as completely as I could. I had less privacy than any human in the history of the world. I think it was fair to take a break from that.”

“That is part of the problem, sir.” Just a touch of caution crossed her features, and for once I couldn’t discern whether it was intentional. The non-verbal schooling that her agency had provided was excellent.

She continued. “Our concern is with developments occurring in your absence, of which, truth be told, you are not the prime mover. However, until such a time as we have a greater understanding of what transpired during your … hiatus, and what you plan now that you have returned, both the President and the Secretary General agree that it would be better if your behavior was more moderated than before.” She grimaced a bit at the word moderated as though it pained her to make the request.

I took that permission to reply with a bit more heat. “Your job is to affect such moderation on my character?” That might be the nicest way that someone has ever told me they are going to try to change me.

She blushed. It was too fast to be trained. She tried to cover it with a cough, but I was sure I had seen it.

I answered. “Well, it seems that we have an understanding. Now maybe let me begin to set you at ease.” Her posture changed, relaxing subtly.

“There are very few projects that I have undertaken since I’ve been back. I was a workaholic before, and that is one behavior that I am attempting to moderate on my own.”

Yeah right, I am working as much as I ever did. “At the moment most of my attention is focused on physical rehabilitation and planning for the Governance to be hosted by my neighbor Dr. Venturi.”

She paled.

It was a strange moment for me, when I finally understood: they feared me. They feared what I could do with the platform Callisto had built atop my own. They feared the lack of power they had over me.

I couldn’t face such a revelation while her perfect face blared at me, so I let it go. “I am also working on a fitness program.”

I almost felt bad for how I was rattling her around. At least my most recent shake-up made her laugh. “Really, that should be a joy. Are you intending to get back into the sport of Ultimate?” She asked.

“Of course. Some things are too precious to let go of.”

I had made no effort to track the motions of the agents combing through my rooms. Ignoring them might have been a wise move to allay suspicion, but I had really just been too focused on who was obviously to be my handler.

Plus, it’s not like I had anything personal in the apartment.

She seemed to recover. “That is true. I could never give up this work. It is too important to me.” She allowed a slight lapse in our conversation. “By the silence of my colleagues, it would appear that we have no cause to detain you.” She winked conspiratorially. “I had rather suspected that would be the case. My mandate is to protect you, and to protect the world from you.” She handed me a card with a fancy seal on the front and her contact info on the back.

I chuckled. “As far as I can tell I haven’t ever done much to harm the world. So in that sense we are united. I will help you as much as I can.” I answered. “Are there any questions that I could answer for you now?” I wasn’t exactly lying; I did want to help her, inasmuch as it would serve my mission to serve the world.

Plus, the best tricks are the oldest; all men are clay in the hands of a beautiful woman. I knew I would have a hard time saying no to this one.

“Certainly. Did you experience anything unusual while you were away?” I did not at the time understand this question, nor the fervency with which it was posed. Her eyes seemed to clamp onto my features, she would miss no change of expression, no sign of deception.

I saw no reason to lie. “Many unusual things. You have discerned the method of my return?”

“The ice harvest, yes.” She answered.

“Seeing a laser descend from heaven and trim a slice off a glacier is something I will never forget, but it was not truly the strangest thing.”

“Go on.” She prompted.

“I happened upon a crop of wild cannabis some time before my return, and began a daily habit. As was my wont before, I used the drug to travel in realms of thought far from my established tread. Some of my dreams were fevered and revelatory so that I feared I had a brain tumor.” Telling another person about the revelations that I had undergone was proving to be less difficult than I had imagined.

“I looked back on my life and wondered at how I had behaved. It seemed to me in my fevered state that I had not properly believed in the reality of other beings. The kernel of my selfish self had not reached out to touch and be touched by the people that surrounded me. I felt love for all the people that I knew, and sorrow for all the people that I could have known but didn’t. I resolved that I would be different and my resolution struck me with the force of command.”

When my focus tracked back to her, I shuddered against my will. Her face showed nothing. It was blank. I don’t know what reaction I expected, but to see her hiding her mind completely made me afraid again. “A little trite, I know, finding the meaning of friendship in the desert. But it was real to me.” I gave my best ‘just trying’ smile, and was rewarded to see her mask replaced by something less sinister, a frown.

“There are plenty that could use more human contact, Mr. Paine, myself among them. Thank you, for holding to your resolution and reaching out to me. You could have made this necessity unbearable for both of us. Instead, you have been perfectly amicable.” By the time her speech was over, she was smiling again.

A cluster of agents appeared behind her. One approached and whispered in her ear. “It seems that you are as clean a babe, Mr. Paine. Jim here thinks you should liven the place up a bit-- he says the search would have taken longer but there’s practically nothing here.” I shrugged in response as she continued. “We will be in contact with you soon.”

There was calculation back in her actions. She turned to leave and then stopped. “One more question, right on the track of our conversation: are there any people you are in daily contact with that you didn’t know before you left?”

The question left me slightly off-balance. “Well, yes. Callisto, certainly, when he is in town; the most excellent psychologist Dr. Annagail Peraster; and” I couldn’t keep the smile from my voice or face, “the nurse I met aboard the Peacemonger, Lauria Linodel.”

“These people are known to us.” Her face was carefully neutral. “Are you familiar with a person named Grace, or Kelly?”

Oh shit.