Gusti Sundai, the Sundai Clan’s part-time peacekeeper, part-time farmer, and full-time wrangler of idiots, shaded his dark brown eyes from Mwezi’s overhead double noon suns. This time of day, the Barrow System’s binary stars burned so brightly that even the countless shades of pink and orange of Barrow-7, the gas giant Mwezi orbited, got washed out to pale grey.

The Orangutan-Affin’s long fingers allowed him to better see Aptyrx, the Clan’s Santorini Banking Representative who was presently running amok in Gusti’s maize . . . but it didn’t give him any better idea of what in the four endless void-inceptions the Tilk was doing . . .

. . . Well, that isn’t completely accurate, is it?

And it wasn’t; Gusti could clearly see that the thin, grey-skinned humanoid bank manager was totally naked, which wasn’t a problem for many species. As an Orangutan Affin, Gusti himself hardly ever wore vestments of any type. Preferring to go with his orange fur covering the way the Founding Beings had made him. But nudity wasfar from normal for Tilk bankers. Unless they were going into battle, the Tilk preferred multiple outer layers that demonstrated their rank. Nudity aside Aptyrx actions were . . . pretty weird. The Banker was extending his arms out to the overhead suns and then lowering them slowly untill they extended perpendicular to his torso at his shoulder height. And then . . . Well . . .he was flying? . . . falling? . . . slamming-- Gusti couldn't tell which-- face down into the rows of maize. Once there, he seemed to scrabble around, both on and under the surface for several micros while churning up the stalks of maize in all directions like a cyclone with a sincere predilection for destruction. Then, just as suddenly, Aptyrx would stop and return to hovering 20 meters above a new area of intact maize. After a few more micros, inexplicably, it would all start over again.

After watching several cycles of this and not being able to make heads nor tails of why the usually prim and proper Galactic Core Santorini Bank representative had suddenly turned bat-shit-crazy, Gusti decided it was time to head over and ask. It was his and his brothers’ maize, after all.

If any of those four freeloaders ever give up chasing the myth of immortality and make it back to the Clan to do some honest work, anyway . . .

Gusti gently tugged Sparky’s reins to get the giant sloth bear to stop snacking on the nearby cob heads. The Peacekeeper then prodded the kuda with both heels to start a slow amble through the nearly harvest-ready rows to Aptyrix’s most recently chosen hovering spot.

Being at the peak of tetrahedral cultivation, it was true that the orange-furred Beast Affin could have translocated himself and Sparky to float right next to Aptyrx . . . but after taking up the job of Clan Peacekeeper several hundred thousand cycles ago, Gusti had learned that when an otherwise straight-laced spirit being started acting like they had sent their prime decision making brain centers on permanent holiday . . . it was best to give them plenty of warning he was coming.

Thirty meters from Aptyrx, Gusti halted Sparky, who starting munching on cob heads again, and called in greeting. “. . . Hiya Aptyrx . . . Mind telling me why you decided my maize needs to die today?”

“Oh . . . Ah . . . Gusti?! I . . . Ah . . . Didn’t see you there!” The startled and obviously distracted Tilk responded with sincerity as he continued to focus on the air directly in front of him . . . Then, in what appeared to be acceptance of a legitimate interruption in his unexplainable behavior, the Tilk's arms dropped to his sides and he turned to face the Orangutan Affin.

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“. . . Please forgive me for not noticing you! And allow me to introduce you to my new bride, Bambirx . . .” The Tilk tapped a small console attached to his right wrist, and a female Tilk. crouched in a stalking position appeared directly behind him. A look of surprise at her placement momentarily came of Aptyrx’s round-eyed face. Bambirx straightened her short lithe frame and came to hover demurely at his side with her eyes downcast. A smile spread over the small mouth on Aptyrx’s grey face as he gazed at her. Then, apparently just remembering that Gusti was still there, he jumped slightly in the air and spread his thin arms in a gesture of being caught during an unavoidable act.

“. . . I truly am sorry you caught us at our nuptial mating . . . but Bambirx and I expected to be done here and have applied a transience temporal window to restore the damages with our area quantum matrix duplicator before any noticed. . .” Aptyrx’s hand spread wide in helplessness, “. . . As I'm sure you know, we absolutely must harness the lifeforce biorhythms of a budging crop prior to sunset on the first day, or our produced progeny will have reduced reserves.”

The Tilk nodded knowingly to Gusti, clearly expecting nothing but agreement, and he continued before the Peacekeeper could give any reaction “ . . . But Bambirx’s core transport was delayed . . . and . . .” The Tilk leaned toward Gusti in confidence as he spoke behind one of his thin hands while simultaneously winking a large round eye over a delish expression. “. . . Quite frankly, my bride is much younger and fitter than I am . . .” Aptyrx waived his other hand at the smooth, barely noticeable ponch on his otherwise broomstick torso. “ . . . To tell the truth, I have barely been able to avoid her death strikes on quite a few occasions.” the banker chuckled cavalierly. “. . . Of course I am only getting warmed up, as they say!” The Tilk finished by boldly air-nudging a comarodric elbow in Gusti’s direction while his bride blushed through pridefully risen cheekbones at her husband's praise.

Gusty tipped his straw hat up and leaned back in Sparky’s saddle, blowing a breath through puffed-out cheeks before he tried to confirm what he thought he had just heard. “. . . So . . . this is your ‘wedding day,’ and you are both performing ritual combat before you . . . mate?”

Aptryx’s demeanor chilled slightly, and he folded his arms over a narrow chest. “Not at all, Gusti. Bambirx is a proud daughter of the Fourth Circle. I would never disrespect her . . .” He looked back at his bride, who had also straightened in slight offense at Gusti’s last statement and was nodding in sincere agreement with her husband. “. . . I assure you the combat is very real.”

The married couple leaned forward as one to peer down with slightly narrowed eyes in challenge at Gusti. “ . . . Do Orangutan Affins perform their initial marital nuptials differently?”

Gusti didn’t need to use the Karmic ties of understanding that were grafted to his Tetrahedral Shamanic focus to see that almost any answer he gave to that question would send this situation spiraling south in a major and uncontrollable way.

So, he went with the first and most placating response his advanced cultivatory mentation produced.

“Why . . . Of course not! I was just checking!” The Orangutan Affin sent a wink and the exact same air-nudging elbow back at Aptyrx and Bambirx. Both of whom immediately regained their air of joviality.

Gusti then patted his com device and was suddenly very busy. “Ah . . . I’m really sorry to cut this short Aptyrx, Bambirx—" Gusti nodded to the couple respectively. “But . . . I have an urgent com that just came in and I really need to get to it—” The Peacekeeper turned Sparky away from the entire fiasco as fast as the giant lumbering kuda could be dragged away from the maize heads it was munching. Gusti did, however, continue to dominate the conversation in case either of the couple tried to ask another question. “— Please continue . . . and good luck!”

The happy couple had already resumed their deathmatch of love before Sparky had even exited the next row of maize.

Ironically, only when Gusti was out of earshot did he feel comfortable enough to look down at the holo-generated display of the actual notice of communication that had come to him a moment ago. After seeing it, the Peacekeeper cycled his Essence and gap-stepped to the communications hub of the Clan’s generational ship cruising in geosynchronous orbit on Mwezi’s night side, Aptryx, Bambirx, and shockingly unexpected Tilk marital customs had already been completely forgotten . . .