Silas and Elena were overjoyed to have their daughter not only back from the dead, but also back in their home and under their protection. Eden, despite her desire to get her task over with as soon as possible, had quickly been forced to admit that she was not ready. The first night after she had been discharged from the infirmary, she’d returned to her dorm with enemies in every shadow. She slept only moments at a time, and every moment of sleep was a nightmare that left her sweating and gasping for breath. Every nightmare was different. Buried alive. Rory discovering her betrayal and hating her for it. Captured, again. Rory dying. In any other situation, Rory would have been the one she called, the one she sought to comfort her, but it felt false to call on him for help when her guilt was what ate away at her.
At 2:00am, when she had woken for what felt like the hundredth time, she had broken down and called Silas, who asked no questions when she asked if she could come home, and who had come in the middle of the night to collect her. He walked with her back to the home, a laser gun she knew he shouldn’t have strapped beneath his sweater and his arm protectively around his daughter. Eden didn’t ask questions either.
Elena made them mugs of hot chocolate, and when Eden began losing her battle with sleep, she sat at the foot of her bed, watching over her daughter in her childhood bedroom. Everything had been kept exactly the same, from the polka dot bedspread to the cluttered but neat desk in the corner. Eden wished desperately, fervently, that she could feel the same safety within these walls as she had when she was a child. But when she was a child, she’d known no danger as she did now. Something creaked out in the living room and Eden flinched, but it was only Silas, who was camped in the middle of the room on an uncomfortable chair with his laser gun in his lap and his eyes on the door. Eden felt some safety in that, but the guilt overpowered everything. He would fight for her, even kill for her. But should he have to?
When she woke the next morning to gentle sunlight through the window and Elena petting her hair, Eden was disappointed to find that none of the guilt or stress had been washed away by sleep. She blinked slowly at the light filling the room and turned to her mother, trying to hide the disappointment on her face. She smiled, barely a smile, and hoped it wouldn’t crack.
“Did you sleep at all?” she murmured to Elena.
Elena smiled broadly and Eden saw her reflection in her mother’s face: the same wide dark eyes, the same furrow between heavy brows, the same unmanageable sunlight colored hair. The same smile that appeared and disappeared so quickly, although Elena’s was true.
“You slept,” she answered, though Eden knew it was not altogether true. “That is what matters. Are you feeling any better?”
“A little,” she lied.
Elena, sitting cross legged at the head of the bed, reached down and stroked her hair softly. “What happened to you, my child?”
Eden shook her head, burrowing deeper into the nest of warm blankets around her, wishing she could disappear forever beneath the folds. Dr. Roman’s advice still pounded in her head.
“I don’t remember much,” she said. “Just little bits and pieces. It’s all a blur; it was terrifying. The doctor said this was normal.” She was explaining too much.
Elena raised an eyebrow at her daughter, having never heard her admit fear before. She didn’t push or prod, for which Eden was forever grateful.
“You’re safe now,” Elena promised instead. “You’re safe here with us for as long as you need.”
“I can’t hide forever,” Eden grumbled.
“They’re going to catch these sons of bitches,” Silas said, having just appeared in the doorway. “And if I see anyone creeping around, anyone who means to harm my little girl?”
He touched the laser at his side in an unpracticed move. Eden wished she could feel comforted by the gesture, but instead, her heart leapt into her throat at the thought of Silas standing between her and Bianca. Her eyes burned and she burrowed her face again in her pillow to hide the emotion in her eyes. Everyone she loved was in danger, all because she had been stupid enough to be caught by the Hive.
“Anyway,” Elena continued through her daughter’s silence. She touched Eden’s shoulder gently. “Please don’t be upset, Eden. Your father and I are just so happy to have you home. So happy, and so relieved! We really thought we’d lost you.”
Eden forced herself to sit up and rearranged her features into what she hoped was a reassuring smile, wondering if she was any better at lying with her face than her mother was.
“You’re right,” she said. “I’m home now. Like you said, I’m safe now.”
“Yes, you are,” Elena said. “And that’s why your father and I have invited over a few friends, just for something casual! Just a little welcome home party, nothing fancy at all.”
“A party?” Eden’s stomach dropped.
“Hardly even a party! Rory said he could make it out after work today. My, he’s come a long way, hasn’t he? He couldn’t even tell me about what he’s working on, probably knows I’m too stupid to understand it. Our Rory! Can you imagine him not going on for hours about every little thing, whether we understand it or not?” Elena laughed fondly.
Eden frowned. “I can,” she said. “He’s been like that lately.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it, my child. It’s nothing personal, you know that. Security clearance and all that. Our Rory is quite the big deal now, I suppose.”
“So just Rory and a few friends?”
“Yes, of course. Nothing big, I promise!” Elena said, her hand over her heart. “I insist, Eden. We have to celebrate. Please?”
“Okay then,” Eden relented. “But I want waffles first.”
“Coming right up!” Silas saluted, which made Eden giggle despite herself, and turned on his heel, followed closely by Elena.
Eden sank back into a comfortable half slumber as the little house began to saturate with the smell of breakfast. When his loud call for breakfast all but made the house shake, Eden finally found it in herself to stumble out of her childhood bedroom and into the kitchen. The kitchen was warm, warm from the stovetop and warm from the affection that permeated every step of the cooking process. She eased herself into a seat at the dining table carefully; her body was sore and protested angrily at the motion. No sooner had she made herself comfortable than Silas placed a steaming plate of berry topped waffles in front of her, with a soy bacon and fresh eggs on the side. The first bite was heaven, and she muttered her appreciation around a full mouth.
Silas laughed, the way he always did, loud and booming, but in his eyes, there was a watchful sort of pity that he turned on her. She hated it and tried to ignore it.
“Breakfast alright?” he asked, serving Elena an almost identical plate, although the berries on her mother’s waffles had been arranged into the shape of a heart.
“Delicious,” Eden confirmed. Almost delicious enough to get her mind off of her worries.
“How are you feeling?” Silas asked, not quite casually.
Eden fought the urge to bristle. “I’m fine,” she said, around a mouthful of bacon. It was crispy and almost burnt. Her favorite.
Elena laughed humorlessly. “That’s your daughter, Silas. She takes after you.”
“Of course she does,” he said proudly.
“‘I’m fine!’, ‘I’m fine!’,” Elena mimicked in Silas’s deep baritone, followed by Eden’s higher pitch. “My two strong soldiers.” She reached out and took Eden’s hand lightly in hers. “It’s okay if you’re not fine, honey. You’ve been through an enormous trauma.”
Eden twisted uncomfortably in her chair and took a large bite of her waffles. She couldn’t talk about this. She glanced over Silas’s shoulder, out the window that showed the quiet street just outside, but Eden wasn’t stupid enough to assume that she was safe, perhaps ever again.
“Really,” she said as kindly and patiently as she could. “I feel better. The waffles help.”
Silas flopped another one on her plate, fresh from the stovetop and smelling like cinnamon and sugar. “Waffles and a good night’s rest,” he said. “What more could you need?”
Elena rolled her eyes. “You two are ridiculous. Eden, it’s fine if you’re fine now. But if you realize later that you aren’t fine, you can always talk to us about it. Listen, the neighbors will be here in about an hour. Help me with the dishes, Silas.”
“Why can’t Eden help?” he whined, winking at his daughter.. “I cooked everything!”
“Because your daughter was kidnapped, Silas! She’s not doing the dishes!”
Eden smiled softly, listening to her parents. This would be over before she knew it; soon she would have to return to work, and even sooner, she would have to begin her mission. For now, she listened to her parents bicker and filled her belly with waffles and love.
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Elena’s idea of a few people and Eden’s idea of a few people turned out to be vastly different numbers. Rory had shown up first, bright eyed and well rested, and more than happy to eat all the waffles Silas could put in front of him. After that, neighbors and friends, mostly of her parents’, began trickling in, with warm hugs and well wishes for Eden. By the third hug from a friend of her mother’s, Eden’s skin was crawling, and by the ninth, she was ready to run.
Rory, true to form, saw it coming before she did, and was quick to lead her in a retreat to the kitchen as the rest of the group mingled in the living room, their reason for gathering mostly forgotten. Under the guise of checking on the frozen dessert Silas had setting in the freezer, they savored a few moments of peace.
“How are you feeling?” he asked when the door to the kitchen closed softly behind them and blocked the majority of the clamor out.
She lifted herself up to perch on the countertop and rolled her eyes. “I’m tired of people asking how I am.”
He laughed. “You’re basically back from the dead,” he said, growing more somber. “A lot of people thought you were dead.”
“Did you?”
“Not for a second,” Rory said quickly.
“Hey,” she said, nudging him with her foot. “I’m okay. We’re both okay.” He looked as skeptical of that as she felt; she raised an eyebrow. “You are okay, right? How’s work been?”
The transition felt awkward, her question too pointed, but Rory didn’t seem to think anything of it. He hesitated and, for one hopeful second, she thought that maybe it would be that easy.
“I can’t… I can’t really talk about it. You know.”
“You could talk to me about it, Rory,” she pushed, hating herself. She looked down at her feet, swinging off the counter. “Really. You can talk to me about anything.”
Even without looking up, she felt the tension that he was holding begin to evaporate. He trusted her, that much she knew. He trusted her more than he should. She hated that the betrayal came so easily, that she knew what to say to comfort him and was using it against him.
“Thanks, Eden,” he said. “Really. I might take you up on that soon, actually. But none of it’s important, not after everything that happened.”
“Oh?”
“Things won’t always be like this. Be so confidential,” he said. “When we’re finished with this project, it won’t be a secret any longer and to tell you the truth, I can’t wait. I’m not really fitting in. I’ve been thinking about going back to work for the city after this project. It won’t be much longer, either.”
Rory’s voice was equal parts exhaustion and relief. She could see it in his eyes, his desperation to be away from Cardinal Enterprises and whatever it was that was at the center of this mess. Whatever it was that Bianca wanted her to uncover, it was weighing on Rory perhaps as heavily as Eden’s own secret mission.
“I think you’ll be a lot happier there,” Eden said carefully. “Why don’t you make the move now? Why wait?”
“I can’t walk away in the middle of this project,” he said. “I can’t talk about it yet, but soon.”
“Soon?”
“Yeah, we hope to have the—we think that the—,” Rory stopped and shook his head, laughing quietly. “I’ll tell you all about it next week, okay? Stars, I can’t wait.”
Eden tried to smile as she suppressed a wave of frustration. If he would just tell her, quickly, this nightmare would be over. Eden bit her lip, and the bitter taste of blood was not enough to bring her back to reality. She was shattering, crushed beneath the weight of the Hive, powerless to stop them. Soon, he said. Next week? All of this trouble and Rory wouldn’t even be on the team in a week. A bubble of laughter rose and Eden clamped down even harder on her tongue, trying not to let it escape. The longer she fought her laughter, the more it threatened to turn to nausea. Bianca would be so disappointed to find that the gift the universe had dropped in her lap had an expiration date.
“Are you okay, Eden?” Rory was suddenly concerned. He sounded far away, and she was distantly aware of his hand on her shoulder. “You look green. Are you sick?”
“I’m fine,” she said, stumbling down from the countertop. The realization struck her again. Bianca would be so disappointed. “I just need some air. I’ll be right back.”
She made a rush towards the kitchen door, bracing herself against the boisterous voices on the other side and the people those voices would be attached to.
“I’ll come with you,” he said, making as if to follow her. “Are you sick?”
“No,” she said, more sternly than she meant to. She regretted it as soon as she saw him flinch back from her rebuff, but she couldn’t stop. She needed to get away. “No,” she said more softly. “I’ll be right back, you stay here. Please?”
She left him sputtering in the kitchen, knowing he’d want an explanation for that someday. Trauma from the kidnapping made her act out, she’d probably tell him. It wasn’t untrue, after all. Eden was immediately claustrophobic, entering the cramped living room which was even smaller when it was packed to the gills. Small party, indeed. It was too loud, too warm, too much.
“Eden, good to see you!”
“How are you, kiddo?”
“Where are you going?”
“Eden--!”
The door to the house slammed shut behind her, and Eden stumbled gasping for breath onto the front porch. The air was no less stale out here, but it was quieter and she could hear herself think. Shakily, she sat down on the steps of the porch, wondering if being able to hear herself think was really what she needed. She leaned her head in her hands and filled her lungs over and over again. All these people, so happy to see her alive. Her honorary uaunts and uncles, friends of her parents who had watched her grow up from a little girl playing in the red dirt to this now. This betrayer. And for what?
She kept her head down between her knees, trying to quiet her racing heart and praying that no one would follow her out. When the panic subsided, fought back down into something small enough that she could compartmentalize away, she felt the undeniable pressure of eyes watching her. Eden looked up, slowly, reluctantly. In the distance, a few meters down the street, between two houses on the other side of the road, two eyes were watching her from the alley shadows. Two familiar eyes.
Lucas.
He noticed when she recognized him and grinned a lazy catlike grin. He lifted a hand and waved once, but he made no move to leave his space in the shadows. He was leaning against the brick wall of the house, nonchalant and unbothered, but the laser at his side gleamed in the afternoon sun. Eden could only stare back. Of course, he was here. Her blood was cold in her veins. He couldn’t be here. Not here. Not when everyone she loved was under one roof.
He couldn’t be here, at her childhood home, so close to her family. Eden swallowed her fear and tried to be casual, as calm as she could manage. Panic would not help her here. There was a hammer and a tiny tin of nails resting on the bottom porch step, the remnants of Silas’s attempt to fix the porch step. She stood slowly, grabbing the hammer and holding it close against her body, and she began walking quickly down the street away from Lucas. House after house, cookie cutter twins of the home that had seen her grow up, street after street. She couldn’t stop herself from glancing over her shoulder once, twice, three times, to confirm he was following her. He was. Gaining on her, even.
At the end of the street, Eden took a sharp left, heading towards the glass wall of the dome. They weren’t far from the edge of the city, the horizon broken by a long stretch of red dirt ahead. It was quieter on the outskirts of town. The farther they walked away from home, the easier it was to breathe. Eden didn’t stop until she reached the old mini mart that had gone out of business when she was small and never been renovated. She stopped under the awning, sun bleached and ragged. The wall behind her looked too flimsy to lean against and the windows were boarded up. What little foot traffic there was in this quadrant of the city didn’t linger. Lucas caught up with her quickly and sat on the curb, letting his feet dangle out into the street.
“You’re not planning to hit me with that hammer are you?” he asked without looking back at her, as if they were two old friends making conversation about the weather.
“That depends on what you want. You’re watching me at home? You’re checking in on me already?”
“It’s been several days since Bianca was kind enough to release you. She’s anxious for an update.”
“I was in the hospital for a few of those days,” Eden snapped.
“And Bianca would be pleased with me, if I sent you back to the hospital for your general uselessness,” he answered, the humor missing from his voice. “I’m not your enemy, Eden. Not unless you want me to be.”
“I don’t have an update,” Eden said. “Sorry. You’ll have to give me more time.”
“I can give you more time, for now,” he said. “A few more days. We’re anxious to see what you can find out, but Bianca isn’t a patient woman.”
“I’ll find out. Don’t worry about that,” she promised. “I’ll find out and Bianca will keep her hands off my family.”
Lucas looked at her with something like pity. The expression didn’t seem to come to him naturally, but it seemed surprisingly genuine. “I hope you’re right. I’ll be around, whenever you have something to share. Just look for me.”
Eden’s skin crawled at the empathy in his voice. She tightened her grip on the hammer, but she was saved from the obligation of responding when a familiar voice, riddled with panic, called out her name.
“Eden? Where are you? Eden!”
“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Lucas said with a wink.
He disappeared around the corner behind Eden just as Rory came jogging up the street, his hair plastered to his sweaty forehead. Relief flooded his face when he saw her, briefly replaced by anger, and then relief again. Eden, still holding the hammer, still in a whirl from Lucas’s visit, tried to smile reassuringly at him.
“What are you doing out here?” he demanded, angry again. “Your dad wanted to check on you, but I told him I would. And then I stepped outside and you’re gone? Again? Eden, what are you doing out here?”
She wasn’t sure what surprised her more: the tone he took with her, the wild eyed panic on his face, or the tears stinging at her own eyes. She dropped the hammer and wiped her face, hating that her fingers came away wet. “I don’t know,” she whispered. It was the closest thing to the truth she could say.
Rory’s face softened, and he drew her into his arms gently. She surrendered to his embrace, though she did not deserve his comfort. “You’re not okay, are you?” he asked quietly.
She shook her head, not trusting her voice to speak.
“That’s okay,” he said. “It’s okay not to be okay.”
“It is?”
He nodded, and when he spoke, she could hear the smile in his voice. “Let us take care of you, Eden. It’s okay not to be okay.”
It didn’t make any more sense the second time he said it. And though she did not deserve it, she nodded and let him lead her home, where her loved ones waited for her.