TWENTY-EIGHT

He's getting worse.

Hikaru paced the kitchen, wringing her hands. She glanced at the clock on the kitchen stove. It was fifteen minutes after six. Once they had gotten home from school, Zach had disappeared into the boys' bedroom and hadn't resurfaced since.

She chewed on her lower lip before sighing at herself in exasperation. She forced herself to stop.

Something was boiling on the stove, but she barely noticed. She glanced at the bedroom door for the thousandth time that afternoon.

Ugh, I'm sick of myself now! He's going to be fine. He's strong.

But he was isolating himself from them, something he had never done before in the past. At this rate… Whatever stress he was under, whatever was going on, it was going to kill him.

Was he this worried about Falcon?

Or was it something more?

"Pasta is going to get soggy if it's left to boil any longer," said Sevati, looking up from the kitchen table. "Wasn't that the timer?"

"What?" asked Hikaru, blinking. She tore her gaze away from the bedroom door and looked at Sevati. "I'm sorry, what?"

"The pasta? It's done."

"Oh!" breathed Hikaru.

She hurried to the stove, grabbing some hot pads. She poured the boiling water into a colander, setting the pot back onto the stove. She turned the cold water on, rinsing the pasta. Her mind wandered; she glanced towards the bedroom door yet again.

"He's going to be fine."

"What?" said Hikaru, snapping her gaze onto Sevati.

"I said he's going to be fine," said Sevati. She shook her head. "You need to stop it. You're going to hurt yourself at this rate."

Hikaru sighed, putting a damp hand to her forehead. The cool water felt nice on her skin.

Did the others notice what was going on with him? Zach was unraveling. She had never seen him do that before. No. There had to be something more here than just stress about Falcon. Zach never kept secrets.

And Hikaru knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Zach was keeping secrets now.

"He's under a lot of stress," said Sevati in a low voice, her dark eyes filled with an observant light. "He's keeping a lot to himself."

"You noticed, then," whispered Hikaru. She shut off the faucet and turned towards Sevati. The other three were sitting on the couch, watching some lighthearted TV show.

"Hard not to," said Sevati with a sad smirk. "He's not the greatest at hiding how he feels."

No, he's certainly not.

"He's the leader," said Hikaru; her hands gripped each other. Her voice went up a pitch. "We have to trust what he does is good for us as a whole."

Sevati raised an eyebrow. "That's unit talk," she said. "Now what about family?"

Yes…

What about family?

She couldn't push him – that much was all too clear. Zach was acting strangely; he would pull away. She had to deal with him delicately, like a skittish wild animal. If she pressured him too much… What if that did more harm than good?

"I try to get him to eat," said Hikaru, drying her hands on a towel. Determination rose in her heart. "It's time for dinner anyway. I'll go get him."

Please don't push us away, Zach. We're here for you.

----------------------------------------

"Whoa, hang on, Hikaru," said Drake. "Maybe you should leave him alone."

"Isn't he taking a nap?"

"With this much noise? "

"He hasn't come out for hours now," said Hikaru, her tone firm. "He seemed down again at school. He missed lunch. I don't remember him eating anything for breakfast. He needs dinner."

His empty stomach churned.

Their voices filled the room. Zach uncurled his legs from his chest, scooting to the edge of his bed. The room was dark, save for the stream of light pouring through the crack beneath the door.

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"You know he hasn't been sleeping lately," said Drake in a low voice. "He needs to rest."

"But he needs to eat, too…" said Jacob, his voice soft and timid. "He's gonna get sick."

"And something else is wrong as well," said Sevati. There was a long pause. "What, you didn't notice? He's keeping a lot of stuff from us."

"Well, duh," said Brielle.

"I think we all noticed that," whispered Drake.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

They know something's wrong.

What am I gonna do?

"Okay, enough, let's not overwhelm him," said Hikaru with a long sigh. "He's got a lot on his plate. We know that. I just want him to eat. That's all. We'll figure what's going on with him later. Food and rest first."

Zach sighed, closing his eyes and wishing he could crawl back beneath the covers. Hiding for a few years sounded fantastic. With a tired huff, Zach stood up and walked to the door, opening it. He squinted his eyes at the bright light. An assortment of surprised gasps came from his friends.

"Hey," said Zach, after his eyes adjusted. He folded his arms and lifted a sardonic eyebrow. "You know I can hear you, right?"

Hikaru flushed. The group exchanged glances.

"Well, it's been a few hours," said Hikaru, her features lifting in a gentle smile. "It's time for dinner. I made spaghetti."

"Thanks," said Zach softly, avoiding everyone's eyes. "But I just want to rest some more, all right?"

"But you haven't eaten all day," said Hikaru. Her smile couldn't hide the light of concern in her eyes. "You need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

A lie…

Zach closed the door. His stomach rumbled. With a sigh, he leaned his forehead against the cool surface of the door. He could hear the hushed whispers on the other side, but couldn't make out what they were saying.

I'm sorry, guys.

Give me a little more time.

But he had precious little of it. He checked his phone. He had another hour at least. He had another hour to wait and brood and think and endlessly wait before he had to see that man again.

Ugh.

It was gonna be a long hour.

He sat on his bed, waiting. He couldn't be around the others right now. He couldn't bear it. Zach hunched over, hiding his face into his hands.

What's it gonna be like? I visit and then what? What does he want from me?

'I just want to get to know… my son.'

What did that even mean? What're they going to do anyway? How was Falcon expecting to 'get to know' his son? Play board games? Zach shuddered at the thought.

I'm overthinking this—everything.

Just go.

It's time.

Zach stood up and slowly peeked out of the bedroom. It was clear. As best as he could tell, the others were on the couch watching TV. He sneaked out. His footsteps were silent as he walked to the front door. He grabbed his shoes, opened the door, and slipped into the hallway, sitting down on the top of the stairs to put on his shoes.

"Zach."

Her voice stilled his heart. His fingers froze. He glanced back at Hikaru. She looked down at him, her brow furrowed.

"You're leaving again," said Hikaru. Her gaze was piercing. Her mouth parted slightly as she drew in a slow breath. "Is something going on?"

Yes. Absolutely. Perhaps the end of the world. Remember me fondly.

What to say? What to say? What on earth could he say to her? A lie. What kind of lie? Ugh, did he have to lie? This was going to kill Zach before the day was out.

"You won't… be out late again, will you?" asked Hikaru. Her hands clasped together; they went white.

Zach's tense body slowly relaxed. "For a few nights a week, I have to be somewhere," he said, his voice soft. "I'm not sure how long I'll be. I could be late."

"Okay," said Hikaru, a little breathless. She bit her lip; her expression was filled with longing. She nodded, more a nervous tick than agreement. "Okay, then. You'll text me after eleven? Just so… you know, we're not worried."

"Of course. I promise."

Zach stood up. A soft hand touched his shoulder, drawing him to turn to her. A tender light filled her eyes. Her other hand slipped into his, fingers intertwining with one another; it was warm with its embrace.

"You'd tell me, wouldn't you?" asked Hikaru softly. Her voice was ever so gentle and imploring. Her hand squeezed his; her other hand dropped to her side.

"What?" breathed Zach.

"If something was wrong or if something was bothering you…" whispered Hikaru. "You'd tell me, right? You wouldn't keep it to yourself because you know you can tell me anything."

The air was heavy around him; he became lightheaded from lack of air. It was a sweet, honeyed trap of words – but he didn't fault her for it. He had always told her everything.

So, why couldn't he now?

Say it.

Tell her.

"Of course," whispered Zach, the lie gentle and breathy.

Coward.

She smiled brightly. "Oh, good," Hikaru said, sounding relieved. Her gaze dropped; a faraway light entered her eyes. "I was… worried we weren't close any more."

"What?" said Zach, frowning. He lifted their clasped hands, putting his other hand over hers. "Why would you think that? You're my best friend."

"You've been rather distant," said Hikaru, her expression crinkling. "Not just with me, but with everyone. And it's getting worse. You'd never shut yourself away all day before."

Zach sighed, running a hand through his hair. He tugged on the ends slightly. "I'm sorry," he said in a low tone. "It's… been a long few weeks. It'll get better. There's nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Liar.

"Everything is all right, then?"

"Of course it is," said Zach with a playful grin. He pulled out of her grasp; the air was cold on his flesh. "Don't wait up tonight, all right? I'll see you later."

He turned away, each step weighing heavier than the last. At the bottom of the stairs, he glanced up. He gave Hikaru a wave of the hand before he went out into the cold night. He rubbed his arms. A fog had descended, the air damp and white, mirroring the haze in his mind and heart.

He was sliding down a mountain, slipping in muddy lies and staining his soul. He was lying like a champ. Someone give him an award.

Zach gritted his teeth.

He didn't want to do this. He should go back. Go back. Tell her everything. He didn't want to keep secrets. He missed the peace and clarity that had come with transparency. His raging feelings rushed through his chest, a torrent of confusion, guilt, fear, and longing.

Was this the man's plan? Throw him into a disarray of confusion and guilt? Falcon had the advantage. This ceasefire would only last until Falcon said so. There was nothing on Zach's end that he could leverage against him.

'Time with you.'

Please.

Please.

The man was faking his interest. Once Falcon got bored with trying to 'get to know his son,' the country would be in danger once again. More lives would be lost. Zach would have to play the game.

I'll get more information. I'll tell them soon. I'll tell her everything soon. I swear it. Just wait a little longer.

I won't be swayed.

I need more proof.