Illion

“Andddd, here.” The computer lets out a sigh as I draw my final signature stroke across the glass screen, hereby sealing the marriage contract. “Do you always have to take so long to sign things, sir?”

“It’s called dyslexia.” Lolli-N snaps, and the computer lets out an even bigger groan.

“Aurelia Anique.” I mutter to myself as the screen switches off. “I wonder what she’s like. Her name reminds me of starburst candy.”

“She’s not actually your wife, sir.” Lolli-N chirps, “best get any ideas out of your head.”

“These marriage documents say otherwise.”

“It’s just a political move!” Cries Lolli-N, pastel wheels trundling after me as I speed walk out of the bridge.

“It’s for the betterment of the populace.” She’s beside me now, those googly eyes boring deep into my soul, “to save as many people as possible. To breach the passenger cut-off!”

“I know all that.” I roll my eyes, “I’m the one who suggested it in the first place.”

“Yes, but Aurelia is going to be a valuable member of the crew, not a mannequin to stand around and look pretty – that’s why we chose her!”

“You think I only want a wife because she’s pretty?” I exclaim, turning to Lolli-N with feigned insult, “that stings my poor heart.”

“I’m not stupid. You said your ideal woman was a model, with green eyes, ghostly white skin, and red hair. And an hourglass body. And dressed in pink.”

“Oh. I did, didn’t I? But that was ah….” I frown, trying to count the years on my hand, but my arithmetic isn’t very good after being rudely awakened from cryosleep... “That was ages ago. How many years have we been…out?”

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Lolli-N makes an odd noise, as if she were trying to burp but failed, “no excuses, sir. We both know you meant it. Anyway, Dust and I picked Aurelia because she’s exactly the opposite. And she’s a mechanic.”

“…Oh.”

“I knew it!” Lolli-N exclaims, “see, if you didn’t care about looks, you wouldn’t be making that face!”

I scoff, turning my frown into a pained grin, “she’s a new friend for you, obviously. You’re a clever bot. She’ll be thrilled to meet you.”

“Homebot Model – A3.” Lolli-N does a twirl, her ruffled skirts flying around her trundle wheels, and her braids flapping around the sides of her head. “Super model! I’m rare.”

“Very rare.” I concur, “does this mean you’re going to be showing her around then? Or do I get the privilege?”

“Your wife, Captain.”

“Oh, so she’s really my wife now?”

Lolli-N raises an eyebrow as if she doesn’t understand.

“Never mind,” I pick up my pace a little, skipping into the cafeteria.

The sweet scent of pastries and milkshakes hits me like a sledgehammer, and I pause to catch my breath. The cooks have certainly been working hard all day!

It’s not a peak hour, but even this early in the morning, the plastic tables are half full of members from the late-night crew.

“Captain on deck!” Calls out one of the cooks from the neon pastry kiosk in the wall. Every head snaps to look at me, and the crew scrambles to their feet.

I wave them back down. “At ease. Two hours until the first passengers board. Enjoy the quiet time.”

“Can I start my cafeteria shift now?” Lolli-N has come to a stop beside me.

“After we sample the nourishment options.” I accept a donut from the lunch lady, “and make sure they’re not poisoned.”

Lolli-N snatches it aggressively from my hand, “if there’s a chance of it being poisoned, the captain should be the last one sampling it.”

“Whatever happened to the captain going down with his ship?” I gape at her in disappointment, but don’t fight back in front of the crew.

“Hardly relevant.” She tosses it over her shoulder, “especially since you have work to do.”

“Like getting rid of the cybernetic infestation.” I put a hand to my head and sigh dramatically. “Right.”

“Two hours to fix it.”

“Thank you for the reminder.”

“Good luck with that, captain!” She salutes, and trundles to the small door in the wall, “and be careful, the last one tried to gnaw my fingers off.”

Wincing, I turn away. Two hours to clean up this mess and prepare myself for meeting my new wife – hopefully my fingers will still be intact by then.