Ferretgirl POV
I don't know how long I cried or even why I did. By now, I should've been used to being treated like a toy.
When mom died 8 years ago, father turned his vicious clutches to me. He used to abuse my mother but she would suffer it all, persist through it all, all for me. But after she was gone, there was no one to protect me. I had to suffer the full brunt of father’s drunken fury. He would tie me up, stuff my mouth with cloth and beat me. He would use whips to hit me throughout my body and I couldn't scream. It would hurt so much but the cloth in my mouth wouldn’t let me scream. He used to use his hands to slap me so hard, I would faint from the pain. He would force himself on me, rape me while I silently wept. But he would always leave my face. He would hit only my body, riddling every part of it with whip marks. He especially enjoyed doing it to my nether regions. He would say that I like it, that I get wet from the pain and that the pain was pleasure. But I never did. Not when he hit me and not when he raped me dry.
But I think I accepted it at some point; that it was my destiny and I was born to be abused. So I stopped screaming and I stopped crying. Every movement of my body was associated with pain, so I got used to that as well. I had to cook for him, wash laundry, go buy out vegetables, everything before he comes back from work. If I didn't, he would throw me on the floor and kick me and tell me that I was an ungrateful bitch. So I did everything without a complaint. But father didn't like it. He wanted me to struggle. If I didn't cry, he would hit me more. If I didn't scream, he would hit me more. So I struggled. I did my best to scream and cry to make him feel better. Otherwise, he would just hit me more.
Then why…. Why did I pray for someone to save me? Didn't I get used to being treated like a tool, a toy, meant for someone else's pleasure?
But it felt so warm. In this person's embrace, as he caressed my hair. It might sound stupid but I felt like.. the air itself was holding me and trying to make me feel better.
I had stopped crying a while back. But this person who saved me patiently held my vulgar body and for some reason.. I just didn't want to let go. It was already night and if I went back to my house, father would beat me for being late. If only I could stay like this forever…
I separated from him.
At some point of time, we had moved a little, such that he had his back against the wall. I had both my arms around him and my head buried in his chest with my entire body leaning on him.
"Tha..nk"
My voice was hoarse and stuffy as I tried to speak words of gratitude. I shrunk back as the words failed to come out properly. Maybe I was scared of something, I wasn't able to think straight.
Suddenly, I felt warmth against both my cheeks. He put hands on my face and lifted it up so that our gazes met for the first time.
"Tha..nk you.."
I subconsciously said it.
(So this is my saviour's face.)
Illuminated under the light of the planetary elementals, it was a young face. Beautiful black eyes and unkempt black hair but they had their own charm. His nose was proper, long and a little round at the bottom. There couldn't have been a better nose suited for the face, is what I thought at that moment. His cheekbones were showing as if he hadn't been eating healthy for a while. His lips even though had lost some colour, seemed very attractive to me. Yet the most distinctive feature was..
"You..'re a hu..man?"
Those round ears at the side of one's head. I had never seen a human before but the feature was so widely known that it was hard to not figure it out.
I don't know what came over me or how I felt so comfortable with him but my subconscious moved my body as my hands automatically made their way to those irresistible round objects and touched them. They were unlike ours that they weren't soft or movable. There were layers of structure and there was a small part of it on its opposite. At the bottom, there was a softness that didn't seem to contain any muscles and just cutely hung there. I didn't realise that I had been casually touching it inside out, while touching the ear of someone was a sign of one's affection. Only parents ever do it to their children or amongst lovers. I don't know if it was simply curiosity upon seeing a human. Maybe I wanted to do it. I just felt.. like I wanted to touch him as much as I could.
I saw his hand move up. It had still been holding my face, and I had forgotten myself in the moment. There was only one place the human's hands could go up from my cheeks; my ferret ears. I didn't know what to feel about that. Maybe he was touching it just because I was touching his? Is he doing it just because I'm the damsel in distress? Or maybe.. His hands moved up and there was a part of me that suddenly got scared and I flinched when he touched my ears.
He retracted his hand. I shut my eyes and hung my head as he retracted the other one as well. My heart beat like crazy as I didn't know what I was scared of. I bit my lip and grabbed that hand that had tried to touch my ears, with both of mine. With no support to my body now, I was entirely leaning on him again, with my breasts against his chest and my face against his shoulders.
(Maybe… Maybe..)
My heartbeat fastened and I could feel my face burning as I took his hand and placed it on my ears to do as he pleased. He moved his other hand to my back to hold me and gently touched my ear.
(Mmmmnn..)
He went at it slowly, lightly feeling the boundaries of my small ears. I subconsciously hugged him tighter as I leaned my body against his. It was similar to how I would give up in front of my father and let him do as he pleased, yet it was different. That was resignation, and this was.. desire. It felt good as he kindly and gently felt around my ears, caressing it with care.
"Tch."
I broke out my stupor at that sound as I felt my breath return to me and I hurriedly separated.
(What was I doing!?)
I had no idea what came over me. I should have hit myself for getting lost in delusions right at that moment but the human's face stopped all sorts of thoughts in my brain. His face was distorted in pain as he held his right arm with his left. Some frenzy came over me as I gently took over the arm and inspected. The light was insufficient but it was enough to see that the layers of clothing were torn at the elbow and it was bleeding. The entire incident was sort of a blur in my head at this point so I couldn't figure out when this had happened, but it didn't matter.
"Come with me, we need to clean up the wound and bandage it!"
At some point of time, my voice had become better and I could say that clearly. Yet as I saw the human's face again, his eyes staring back into mine, I got scared.
(No! He saved my life!)
I got up and gave him a hand to help stand him up.
"Can you understand me?"
“$%@#$&”
The human spoke in a language I was not familiar with.
He pointed in a certain direction and I looked over to the ratman’s unconscious body. I could smell blood and I knew what it probably meant but I didn’t want to think about it. But in my heart of hearts, I felt it was better if that was the case, so he couldn’t do this to anybody else.
But I couldn’t understand what he meant by pointing at the body.
(Does he want me to take its belongings?)
The idea took me aback for a second before the human pointed down, this time to his legs.. No, leg. He fought off two men alone, one-armed and the other a scaled pangolin that I forgot that he was handicapped.
“You need your walking stick!”
It suddenly hit me. He probably dropped his stick in that direction while fighting and wanted me to grab it.
I hurried towards the ratkin’s corpse. I immediately found the walking stick lying far to the side and rushed over to grab it. It was a regular stick you could find anywhere, nothing special about it yet I handled it with absolute care. I did use it to smack the ‘unconscious’ ratkin in the head, but I am willing to argue that he deserved it.
The human gave me an amused look at my antics and I felt my face get a little hot. I handed him the stick and held him from the side to help him up. He was missing his left leg, so he held the walking stick in his left hand. I had to, therefore, help him from the right, where his arm was injured. As I lifted his arm to put around me, he flinched from the pain and took his hand back. As a sudden burst of sadness spread over my soul, he put his hood back and let his arm fall on my shoulder. The sadness got replaced with another, a much nicer feeling in my chest. I felt it was a pity that he had to hide his handsome face but I understood that he had to, since he was a human. I should have come up with a lot of questions at the time as to why and how a human was even here but nothing came to my mind as I silently guided him through the quiet streets to my home. I walked in a way that his hand would touch my breasts but he made no movements to do anything. It made me oddly glad just walking with him like that and even though there was the incident that had just happened and the person next to me was injured, there was a smile on my face as I held him close and felt needed for the first time.
“Umm.. My name is Feriana." (pron. fer (ferret) + iana)
He didn’t reply. I knew that he didn’t understand me but I wanted to talk to him.
“Again, thank you for saving me….”
I didn’t know what to say but I kept speaking.
“My house is just behind that block over there. I live with my father.. He’s not the best person to live with, but he provides for me.. And there are the neighbours. The cow-aunty is really nice and kind. She has a garden behind her house where she grows vegetables. Today morning she gave me some nanbains and I was planning to prepare those for the night but umm.. things happened.. And it was not all bad, since I met you! So.. it’s okay. I will make them tomorrow. If you’re not in a hurry, do stay over for a bit. I will look after your injuries. Though, father won’t be happy. But it’s okay! He’ll just beat me a little for making him go hungry for the night but it’s nothing to worry about really! I’m used to it.. That reminds me, I dropped all the besas and lekas.. That will probably get me some more beatings, but you don’t worry about it. I deserve it for messing up, haha.. Umm.. don’t kill father, okay? I know you’re strong and kind. You saved me from those bad men. And even though you’re handicapped, you beat both of them. And I am sure the ratman was dead. I smelled blood from the pangolin-man as well, so I don’t know.. Maybe…. I wonder how you got so strong. And how strong the other party would have been to take away your leg. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk about it. I’m sure it’s not a kind memory for you. I just wish.. I was as strong as you and could stand up for myself. Ah, there I go again, talking about depressing stuff! You’re already in pain because of me and I shouldn’t really make you worry for me more! You shouldn’t have come and saved me if it was going to get you so injured! I could have….”
I paused.
“No. Thank you.. That was the first time.. anyone has done that for me.”
Tears rolled out of my eyes and thankfully since I was under his arm, he couldn’t see my face. But the squeeze on my shoulder told me that he knew. I wanted to talk about other stuff but there was no more time; we had finally reached the house.
There was some light coming from inside, which meant that father was awake. My body shuddered a little as I hesitated. If father found me coming in so late and bringing a random man to the house on top, he would definitely be angry and beat me. I didn’t understand why I was suddenly so afraid of the beating again. I thought I had gotten used to it. Suddenly, I felt a bit of air force itself into my lungs, slowly clearing up my head. I didn’t really understand what happened but I was glad. Because there was my saviour right beside me who needed treatment.
I gathered up my courage and opened the door.
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*creak*
My eyes twitched as the creak of the door reverberated in the quiet night.
*footsteps*
“Where the fuck have you been, you stupid little bitch cunt!?”
Father shouted as I came into sight. He looked incredibly angry. I could smell the scent of alcohol wafting off him.
“Now you’ve started whoring away, huh bitch? Was papa not enough for you? What’s with this man, you even brought him home. You trynna make this house into your prostitute house, is it? HUH BITCH!?”
My body shivered as my brain refused to produce a thought and my mouth refused to produce a sound. The same phenomenon repeated and some air forced into my breathless body.
Father shouted abuses with every step he took, his face warping in disgust and anger towards me.
“Father!”
I couldn’t believe myself as I shouted against him for the first time in my life.
“Father! Please forgive me but this man is injured! He protected me from thieves! Let me bandage him!”
“.....”
As I made my request and lowered my head, father looked at me with wide eyes.
“You… bitch.. You dare raise your voice against your father for a mere man!?”
He came as close to me and raise his hand to hit me.
“Father! Please!”
I again shouted and pleaded.
“Please let me bandage his wounds! I will do whatever you ask of me after that!”
For the first time, I stood up to father with a determination I never knew I could muster. It was probably because of that that he was taken aback and..
“You ungrateful little wench... Thirty minutes. I want you in my room in thirty minutes. And if you don’t come, I will drag you by your hair and make sure to instil some respect directly into your body so that you never forget it.”
“....”
“Got that?”
“.....”
“Answer me!”
“Yes, father.”
Father turned around with a huff and walked away to his room.
“I’m sorry you had to see that.”
I said to my saviour and started guiding him. He didn’t say anything but somehow his presence affected me. Even when I went against father, I held his hand tightly that was wrapped around my shoulder and I could feel the courage build up in me.
“Watch your step.”
I led him up the stairs, helping him over the steps. He never looked down and I somehow knew that he kept staring at my face under the hood but I couldn’t look at him. I used the cover of guiding him and watching his steps to prevent our gazes from meeting.
Up the stairs, I led him to my room and sat him on the bed. He hadn’t said a single word all the way but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. I quickly found a lamp and a lighter and got some light to spread in the room. Then I hurried about the house, gathering water, towel, disinfectant and bandages. When I got back, he was sitting in the same position, hood donned, with the walking aid lying to the side and him staring towards the door.
I put all the materials to the side and knelt down in front of him.
“I need to take off your clothes to clean the wound and apply the bandages.”
I said to him, even though I understood that he wouldn’t understand. I got closer to him to take off his hood just to find his eyes looking into mine like always. There was just something about the look that made me warm to my gut. His gaze was always steady and firm. There was so much intelligence and wisdom I could perceive in them. How amazing it would be to be able to see the world as he saw it. There was no lust in them, yet I could feel a bit of wildness. And more than anything, passion. It wasn’t a passion of love, of earth, of riches, no. It was a passion of life, of freedom. I could instinctively feel in him that his every move was decided and calculated and even now things were probably going as he wanted. But I didn’t care.
About a minute went by with me staring into his eyes before I remembered that I was on a time limit. I took off his heavy robe that clearly belonged to a much heftier being. The clothes he wore under were incredibly well made, better than I had ever seen.
(I wonder how advanced human technology and magic actually is.)
I took off his t-shirt leaving his upper body bare. It was not a heavily trained and muscled body just enough to not be called thin or skinny. It was smooth and I had to muster up all my willpower to not feel it with my hands.
“Feriana! Focus! You need to clean his wound!”
I tried to encourage myself with words.
“Satoshi.”
And that was when he spoke again after all that time. I was left stupefied and stopped whatever I was doing, not that I was already doing a very good job at doing what I was supposed to do.
(Satoshi?)
It was a word that I didn’t understand. But I somehow knew what it was supposed to mean.
“Satoshi.”
He nodded.
“Satoshi.”
He nodded again.
“Satoshi.”
He nodded yet again.
“Hihihihi..”
I giggled to myself even in the serious situation.
“Feriana.”
I told him mine. And he just stared back.
(Awww.. Cumon! Say it!)
I wanted to hear him say my name. I was about to say something when he lifted his arm to remind me of the wound that I was supposed to be cleaning.
“So sorry! What the hell is wrong with me!”
I took some water and started to clean his wound, washing away all the dirt and clot. A similar wound was visible on his left arm now that I had removed his clothes but it was smaller so I decided to take care of this one first. After washing it thoroughly, I carefully dried it with another towel and poured some alcohol for disinfection. He grit his teeth but didn’t utter a single sound, telling me of a past when he went through his own share of suffering. I applied some medicine on it and wrapped it up in bandage, finishing it this side.
“All done. Do not move it much, I will change the bandage in the morning and maybe we should go see a doctor too. I do have some tablets to prevent tetanus but just in case, it would be a good idea to get it looked at by a proper healer. Though it’s a little expensive but better safe than sorry. Obviously, I will pay for the healer’s fees since you got these injuries while trying to save me.”
The one on his left arm also got done while I kept talking. I handed him a tablet and some water.
“Here, this is so you don’t catch tetanus.”
After a moment of deliberation, he took it and gulped it down.
“I understand the need to be wary but cumon! You're my saviour, I'm not going to poison you. And I so wish you'd call my name."
It was a pity that he couldn't understand me but it was also nice since I could say whatever I wanted, things I never could tell anyone. If only this could last..
"I.. need to go see father."
There was no other way.
"You can sleep here tonight."
I opened the wooden windows to let the cool breeze in. An odd gust of wind immediately blew in wrapping around me before settling down.
"What was that?"
I asked Satoshi, unable to comprehend the weird phenomenon. He just looked back at me with the same gaze causing my heartbeat to rise once again.
"We..well.. anyways. You take a rest in my bed."
I started talking again to hide my emotions. I moved over to him and this time from his left, lifted him up. Since the distance was less, I didn't bring him the walking aid and shouldered his body weight.
"Careful now."
I helped him hop over to the side of the bed and lay him on the bed.
"Good night, Satoshi."
I bid him farewell for the night and without waiting for his reply, carried the lamp out of the room, leaving my saviour in darkness.
*creak*
I slowly closed the door to his room, leaving it a little open just in case he wished to call for help for something.
Now that he was out of sight, I finally relaxed. There was indeed a calm and comforting aura around him but just knowing in the back of my head that I had to go and see father after this made the anxious side of me even more anxious.
I took a deep breath and started my short journey downstairs. But..
"Why….?"
My vision got blurry as tear liquid formed in my eyes and I refused to let it flow.
"Why am I shaking..?"
My hands shook and I couldn't understand why. I did know, in the back of my head, the reason. But it felt so surreal, distasteful, constricting, suffocating. To have my body move against my conscious will. This stupid body of mine had seen kindness and now held hope. Hope that it would be saved again. But this was supposed to be my life, this was all I had known; to be beaten, to be tortured, to be abused, to be tormented.
*Slap*
I slapped myself on the cheek.
(I need to visit father.)
There was no other way. So I moved my legs. One step down, then the other. The pace was slow but it would overcome the distance eventually. Not long after, it was the end of the stairs. The last step looked at me and smiled wickedly, daring me to step on it.
(I need to visit father.)
I repeated the same thing in my head to determine myself. The smiling face disappeared as I put my foot down. I turned towards the direction of his room. Step by step, I made my way and soon was standing in front of it.
(This is it.)
I took a breath and I felt like the air was a little constricted but it made me relaxed for some reason.
*creak*
Wooden doors always creaked.
"..Father."
"You…"
He was awake. And looked at me with a vile look in his eyes.
"..Bitch."
He got up and came towards me.
"How dare you raise your voice against your father!"
He grabbed me by my hair and threw me on the bed.
"Take off your clothes."
I got up and quietly did as he told. As the gown fell down from my shoulders to my waist and to the floor, my scar ridden body came into view; whip marks horizontal, vertical and angled boldly visible.
Father grabbed his whip and stood, lightly hitting the floor with it. I could smell the alcohol off him. He didn't even bother tying me up and let it rip.
"Take this, you whore!"
I shut my eyes as I curled up and my untied hands automatically moved to protect the softer parts of my body. But the sound of the whip never came and neither did the pain.
I looked up, as my father stood in the same place, a look of anger and astonishment on his face. He raised his hand for another attempt but all I felt of the whip was a puff of air to my side. I looked up again.
"What have you done, you wile witch!?"
He tried again and again and again, but the whip never reached my body. Each time the whip would somehow slow down and come to a stop before it reached my body.
"What!"
Whip.
"The!"
Whip.
"Hell!"
Whip
"Have!"
Whip.
"You!"
Whip.
"Done!"
He huffed as all his attempts were in vain. No matter what angle he tried, no matter how hard he would swing, something..someone protected me.
*creak*
And that someone opened the door.
Father looked back. A robed man stood there without any walking aid.
"You….. it was your doing!"
Drunk, he couldn't comprehend what was going on. Normally one would be scared of him who could cause such an unexplainable phenomenon. But in his anger and drunken state, father's reasoning left him and he did what he shouldn't have. He whipped my saviour.
"Son of a bitch!"
My father shouted abuses and showered him with whips, but they never reached him either. In fact, the whip just dangled in the air and fell down each time, just making my father more furious at every failed attempt.
"You.. what the fuck are you!?"
After several failed attempts, father stopped, tired and breathless.
"Asshole.. I will kill you.. I will skin you and butcher you and feed your raw flesh to this whore of a daughter…"
Satoshi, as if understanding his sentiment and mocking father to try, threw a knife on the floor.
"I will kill you… kill you.. kill.."
Father picked up the knife in a daze.
"I will kill you, you fucker.."
He readied his position, gripped the knife to stick him with the pointy side and ran.
"Dieeee!!!!!!"
*Creaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak* *Shut*
*Burst*
*Thud*
The door automatically shut itself just as father stepped out and a series of sounds followed.
"Father."
He was dead. I somehow knew. Satoshi had only done all of that just so he could lure my father out where he could kill him out of my sight.
I looked down at my naked body and my hands. There was no shaking. There was no doubt. I wasn't sad that father was gone. I couldn't even sympathise.
*creaaaaaaaaaaaaak*
The door opened slowly. There stood my saviour, unhooded.
"Satoshi."
A small gust of wind nodded in his proxy, blowing back my hair. I held it with my hand to notice his robe flowing, revealing a single leg a few inches above the floor.
Satoshi, the man who killed my father, flew in. The air danced in his presence, casually moving around the room as if it owned each and every piece of space present. It went through the mattress, taking off the sheets and my clothes off the floor as it circled around him and around the room. Yet the flame of the lamp never even flickered.
The majestic scene in front of me, as he flew higher, made me forget to breathe and a bit of the air just forced itself into my lungs bringing back memories of the day. The alley, the walk, the house, the room, the whipping, there was always some anomaly with the air. Whenever I felt unnaturally comfortable.
"It was you.", I said towards the man who flew two feet above the ground.
Sometimes a small burst of breath would give me courage.
"It was you.", I said towards the man who held absolute power.
The whips were rendered useless and all I felt at their place was a puff of air.
"It was you." I said towards the man who killed three men for me and freed me from a life of suffering and torture.
"It was always you..", I said towards the man who was my saviour.
"Feriana."
He spoke.
He looked with the same gaze he always had. Even though my naked body full of scars was in view, he neither looked down nor turned away. He just stared into my eyes in the same way that he always had. And he called out my name.
(Finally…)
Tears rolled out of my eyes for the millionth time, yet probably for the first time, the cause wasn't pain or suffering. For the first time, I cried tears of happiness.
The wind slowly calmed down and I could feel it wrap around me, feeling like my mother's embrace.
My saviour extended his hand.
(No more..)
"I can't give you anything! You've saved me so much already! Kuff kuff!"
My voice choked but I wasn't done. So I swallowed and spoke again.
"I'm just a normal girl.. No, worse.. I'm a bitch, a whore, a stupid little cunt! Who always dreamed that a man in shining armour would come and take me away from this hell.. but this is all I've known.. if you show me so much kindness.. if you save me any more than you already have.. I don't know how I could ever repay you…"
He stood in the same position. But somehow he was getting closer.
I looked down. I was hovering over the bed. But there was no panic. I felt safe in mother's embrace.
I looked back to the man who caused all of this. I looked at his hand.
"I don't deserve it.."
He simply stood, looking into my eyes. And I looked into his black eyes, so deep, I could drown in them.
Mother brought me closer to him, at a distance where I just to extend my hand and it would grab his.
The decision was mine.
He stood, ready to accept me.
Mother brought me as close to him as possible.
And I had to choose.
I decided.
I looked into his eyes and let myself drown.
I took the hand of my saviour, my Messiah, my God.