I opened my eyes and saw her, lying in front of me with her arms curled up alongside an inquisitive smile. I stroked a line of hair off of her face.

“You’re so perfect,” I said softly.

She came in close to me, a tear in her eye, and squeezed. “Love you, hon.”

I kissed her forehead before we both went to bed. Early the next morning, I woke up with her in my arms. She moaned slightly as I pulled away. I got up, put my clothes on, and let her sleep. 

I went to meet with some old friends for breakfast: the three of us were going to eat early before the hunt. They were already sat in a dinner hall before I arrived and munching on the food — probably made from what we had hunted. After arriving, I noticed another man in a large blue duster sitting on his own to the side. He wasn’t someone I had seen before — a stranger to the village. A cold stare in his eyes seemed to mix well with his face, dirty with bits of mud and unshaven.

I sat down next to the usual group, catching the ends of their conversation.

“So I told them, hey, this isn’t Earl, Earl is next door — and red as a baby’s bottom he walked away,” said Brian.

“Who’s the guy over there?” I asked the group, pointing to the stranger.

Brian looked over at the guy and replied. “Can’t be the most handsome fellow. With a face like that it’s no wonder he keeps to himself.”

“Yeah,” said Steve in a hushed tone. “I heard that guy murdered some fella, travels to places and people start disappearing.”

“Really?” I asked. “Why doesn’t anyone do anything? Is he wanted or something?”

“Don’t know about no bounty, he probably fucks off before anyone connects the dots,” Steve replied.

I got up from my chair and walked over to the man. He gave me a shallow glance and went back to eating.

“Hey, me and the boys here don’t know you, and we’ve been hearing some funny stories,” I said. The man, without looking up at me, kept on eating. “Listen, if you start any trouble round here, or if anything happens, we’ll…” I added. The man still didn’t look at me. His expression didn’t even change. He just spat out a piece of bone and carried on eating.

“He’s not worth it,” Steve exclaimed. “Come over here.”

I headed back. A bit later, we got ready a couple of powder-filled hunting rifles and some thick boots before the hunt.

We spent half an hour tracking a couple deer through the forest. Me and Brian had hunting rifles whilst Steve just spotted. Staying silent and following the tracks through some rough terrain, we managed to find fresh excrement. In an attempt to see where they went from there, we decided to go by separate paths. Seeing a few broken branches, I went onto a slope. The slippery mud was enough to make me fall, and so I flew down, dropping the rifle and landing on my back.

I ended up at a cave entrance about twenty feet from where I had fallen, having sustained a few cuts from the fall and covered in mud — but more than that, at the bottom was an adult white wolf staring me down.

The wolf started growling feverishly whilst moving towards me, its eyes large and its black gums holding large white teeth. I scuffled backwards and again the wolf came closer. Then, its ears flickered and its expression grew scared, before something larger seemed to flash from the corner of my eyes. Then, blackness. I was out cold.

A few moments later, I woke up in the same place, uninjured, not even grazed apart from my torn clothes. Steve and Brian were calling from nearby. Brian was anchoring himself down the slope by grabbing onto trees so he didn’t slip, whilst Steve held the rifle.

“Are you ok?” Brian asked, as he got down to grab my hand up from the dirt.

I wheezily took his hand and was pulled up, a mild headache clouding my thoughts. They took me over their arms, helping me battle against a mild nausea.

“We’ll get you back home with some soup,” Brian added.

When we got back, I said goodbye to the guys and went home.

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Opening the door to the smell of stew felt just like home should. I went through the front door and popped my head around the corner to see Jess cooking. She was humming a tune whilst stirring the stew, an apron baggy and misfitting over her body. I popped up behind her and moved my arms around her waist.

She said nothing, but smiled as I moved in closer, kissing her round the cheek.

“I missed you too, hon,” she said.

“How was school?” I asked.

“The kids were nice…The parents, not so much,” she replied.

“Sounds like Bernie,”  I replied earnestly. Knowing about one of the parents that would make a scene.

She continued while running a finger along my arm, “Well, it was Parents’ Day and Beth bought some—”

I coughed and fell back a bit.

“Are you ok, hon?” she asked, spinning around to face me.

“I’m fine,” I said, grabbing the side and getting to my feet. I coughed again, and a bit of blood came out onto my hand. As I looked down at it, my vision became blurry and I collapsed to my side, my eyes open just long enough to see Jess dash towards me.

I saw the Wolf from before, like I was in the forest; staring straight at me, its eyes large and blue, its fur glistening in the light.

I opened my eyes to see my wife running back and forth from the kitchen, grabbing a wet towel from a bucket of water. As a deep swirling feeling came over me, I saw her in the light of the moon shining through the window. I could only think, what did I do to deserve someone like her? So perfect.

I could hear broken glass, smashed wood. The sound of cracks, and a mix between human and animal noises. A scream.

I woke up, and saw there was a break in the wall where someone had charged into the house. The man from before, the stranger in the dinner hall, was facing me. I was on the floor, and the table on which Jess had been treating me was broken. The inside of my house was tattered and destroyed.

As I looked at the man in my house, I saw he held a short sword and a flintlock pistol. The sword glistened with blood, reflecting the moonlight that came through the broken-down door. The pistol was pointed at my face a stillness in his hand, matching his cold blank expression.

Still in shock, I didn’t move. The man put his pistol away and turned around, walking through what used to be a door. It was then that I saw it, in the moonlight. Jess.

“Jess,” I shouted, and rushed over.

“No,” I exclaimed, moving my gaze around, trying to figure out what to do.

“No,” I said again.

I ran out to see if the man was still there, then back in. I couldn’t leave her.

“Help!” I screamed.

“Help!” My desperate plea resonated in the air. I was sweaty, crying, and scared. I got blankets and wrapped them around the cut on her neck, raised her head into the air and cried. I knew nothing. I closed my mind off to the world. Then, others came in through the door.

“We heard screams and a cry for help, is everything ok?” Pam asked, Brian following behind, pitchfork in hand.

“Oh lord,” she cried as she looked over at Jess. Brian was silent.

The next few hours seemed to envelop me like a demonic reality that had torn into my very being. I explained what happened: that the man in the blue coat had left when I woke up, it was like an immense pressure on my soul, dragging me further into despair. 

I spent the night at Steve’s. As I lay down in his spare bed, my mind filled itself with circling thoughts that can only dragged me further down. More than that, it was confusion. It’s something that holds on and doesn’t let go. It stops you from sleeping. It makes you realize that people don’t just kill themselves to send a message; to make a point about their misery. That it can really be an escape from the corruption that is reality.

The next day, I got up and went to stare at the house. The broken door had been cleaned up and the body taken away. Jess had no family, but we were going to start one. The children she taught came to the funeral. Everyone cried. I couldn’t even talk.

Again I went back to look at the house. I thought about that man staring down at me. It wasn't pity that stopped him from shooting; his gun would have made too much noise. He wouldn’t have gotten away in time. He probably came to attack me in revenge, then Jess. She must have defended me. Who could be like that? The fact that people like this existed in the world was wrong. I punched the wall of my house, unleashing my rage until splinters had shot out into the sides of my wrists.

On my knees, I clenched my bloodied hand. “Why?” I exclaimed, as though I didn’t know the answer, but in a way, I felt I did.

I had to find him. I had to feel something different.

I went back to Steve’s house and took a seat on his oak chair, staring into the fire. He came in the door.

“Hey man, how are you?” he asked.

I didn’t answer for a while, rubbing the bruised knuckles still raw from the door frame.

“Where did you hear about him?” I asked.

“..It was Gary. He told me about the guy before we saw him in the food hall.”

I was silent for a while.

“You know we already told the constable. They have a warrant,” Steve added. “The man was a monster, your house looked like an animal had—”

I turned to face him then, tears streaming down my face? and an almost hysterical look in my eyes.

“I can’t take it anymore Steve,” I said.

The next day I left Steve’s house, bringing half the coin I had and leaving the other with my trinkets and jewellery next to a note, asking it to be donated to the school in Jess’ name.

Every morning and every night for the next few months it was in my mind, in the back of my head and the front of it when I woke up or went to bed. Eventually, I noticed I was running the same thoughts through my mind and rehashing the same ideas, focusing on the same concepts as if they were a part of me.

I found Gary and heard he got his information from some trader that came from a seaside town. That was where I needed to go next. I convinced a traveller to give me a ride in the back of his carriage, and, tilting my hat over my face, I tried to catch some rest on the way.